Lady Killer (Tangled Desires Book 2) (21 page)

“Is my room still the same?”

“It is,” my mother says. “Why don’t you go rest? I’ll send one of the servants up in an hour to help you get ready for dinner. I’ve invited a few of your friends to join us.”

Climbing the half dozen white steps, I slip through the tall double glass and wood doors. White tiles stretch across the foyer, leading to the mahogany and white staircase. I remember this. I exhale and make my way up to the second floor, running my fingers along the wrought iron rail. My footsteps are quiet on the plush white carpet as I wander the second floor. I’m completely disorientated and it takes walking into several rooms before I find mine.

It really is the same as when I left it. Neat, functional. White. A dresser that matches the bed, still with a couple drawers half open. An ensuite and walk in closet are off to one side. A white cocktail dress I wore the last time I was home hangs on the back of the open closet door. Inside, the rails sag under the weight of so many designer labels.

Floral linen and a stuffed bunny in a nest of pillows covers the king sized bed, and I pass it to draw the curtains, shutting myself into near darkness. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. I sink down on the covers, taking the bunny and holding it in my hands.

I didn’t plan on coming home like this. My heart is in Reverence with Tom. Wetness leaks from my eyes, rolls down my cheeks. He has to know I’m gone by now, and why I left.

I wonder if he will remember me the way I know I will always remember him, or will Chelsea and their baby help him forget?

Tom

It’s the longest few days of my fucking life. As much as I love my parents, I find myself staring at the clock, waiting anxiously until it’s time to take them to the airport. Everything continues on as normal, but I don’t have it in me to join them, while I Google every news article, every bit of information I can find on Gemma Castle. I’m demon possessed.

“She didn’t leave a number, or any way to contact her?” Mom sits on the couch beside me.

I shrug. “She left her cell phone here. I guess she thought she had some pretty compelling reasons to not want me to contact her, even if they were all fucking bullshit.”

She doesn’t bother telling me to watch my mouth, even with Claire and Chelsea both in the room. It must be pretty obvious I’m ready to explode at the slightest provocation. I thought I’d convinced her to stay, protected her enough, gotten her to trust me enough that she would let me all the way in. But it wasn’t enough. I don’t know how she could think Chelsea and I could make that kind of life together, even if we were having a baby. How could she not realize how damn hard I’ve fallen for her? No one will ever come close.

“It’s time, Mona. We need to get going.” Dad says, picking up the suitcases they’d brought from the hotel.

We all follow them out, piling into two cars and heading to the airport. I’m stuck in a car with the three members of my family I’m the most frustrated with at the moment. Rush and Chelsea, in the back not talking to each other, and Mace driving, completely oblivious to the shit storm that’s about to unleash on him. I almost spit it out. The idea of watching how he reacts to his own fuckery is tempting, but I figure the urge has more to do with how frustrated I am at not knowing where Gem is or how to get her back than what he’s done.

“So Gem left,” Mace says.

“Thank you, captain fucking obvious. I hadn’t noticed,” I snarl at him.

“Why is that?”

A sharp intake of breath in the back seat, and I glance in the mirror in time to catch Chelsea launching into a coughing fit. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want to know? Or is this foul mood based on the pain in your leg?”

“It could be because my asshole of a brother shot me.” Even while I’m losing my shit over Gem, it’s hard to stay pissed at Mace. Chelsea, on the other hand, is going to have to deal with my irritation until she comes clean.

I exhale. “I want to know.”

He fishes his cell out of his pocket, and makes a call, talking rapidly while we drive into airport parking. Then we all make our way into the terminal to wait for Mom and Dad’s flight.

Everyone’s a little more sombre when we leave my parents and walk back out to the car. Mace hasn’t said anything more than a monosyllable in response to anyone. It isn’t until we’re almost home that he finally tells me what I want to hear. “You’re going to have to catch a plane, Tommy. I’ve got us a flight booked in about an hour.”

“What do you mean, us?”

“I’m taking you to her, so you can try and talk her into coming back to you, dumbass.”

“You’re not coming with me. I can do this by myself.”

“The hell I’m not.” Mace slams into the driveway, the car shuddering from the quick stop. “You can’t fucking do anything without those crutches, dickhead. Someone has to make sure you get our fucking princess back.”

“Fine,” I huff, hobbling out of the car. I hate hobbling, and I hate that right now I have to rely on him if I want to get to Gem, but she’s worth every damn minute of being stuck with the jackass. So I’ll manage.

I pack an overnight bag, and meet Mace back at the car. Within minutes, he pulls out of the driveway and we retrace the steps we’d taken a short time earlier.

Gem

I guess I’ve been running so long I forgot how to stop. After my first night home, I knew I couldn’t stay. I’d sat through dinner pretending I was happy to be there, interested in the lives of the people I used to be friends with, but it was all so foreign to me. No one cussed, all of them too polite, and acting like they’re better for it. But they’re not. It’s all lies. They’re soft on the outside while inside they’re cold and hard. I don’t know how I was ever friends with any of them in the first place. I don’t even want to try now. Not when I know better.

I tried to ride it out. I told myself there would be a period of adjustment. That I’d disappeared for a long time. But the reality was, life went on as though I’d never been gone. After we arrived home the first day, my father had gone to the office, and I haven’t seen him since.

My mother, at least, tried, in her own way. She took me to a spa for the day, where I was left in the very capable hands of several beauticians, a hairdresser, and a masseuse, while she had her own private session.

Grandfather gave me a new state-of-the-art smart phone, along with a sad smile and a pat on the shoulder. Then he’d told me to come to him when I was ready to talk. I’d stared at the screen as it lit up under my fingers and wished I’d gotten Tom’s number while we were together, then tried to be grateful I didn’t because I wouldn’t be strong enough to keep myself from calling him. Just to hear his voice again.

The whole time I was gone I missed my family. All I wanted was to see them again. But I guess I hadn’t noticed I was missing them before I left. Either that or I’ve changed so much I no longer understand how they can spend so much time living such separate lives.

Kaylea and I spent a few hours together. She even helped me find Tom on Stalkbook, as she likes to call it. It didn’t help. It just made me feel like I’d killed his dog, my guilt at having hurt him eating at me. I couldn’t bring myself to friend him or message him though I considered it a million times.

And she doesn’t understand why I’m so tired all the time, or why I just need to hold her hand. She wants to be with her friends, or shopping, and I can’t expect her to be the kind of person she’s not. I guess maybe they figure now that I’m back, I won’t leave again. I don’t want my family to change just because I came home, but I don’t fit with them anymore, because my heart is shattered and all the pieces are in Reverence with Tom.

“Princess?” Grandpa knocks his cane against my bedroom door with a hollow thud. “Do you think you could find your way out of bed to take a turn in the garden? It’s been two days since I’ve seen your pretty face grace the halls.”

I’ve been wallowing in my misery too long. I know this, but it’s still hard to drag my lethargic limbs from the bed. “Give me a minute, Grandpa. Let me freshen up.”

After I clean my face and teeth and run a brush through my hair, I toss on a dress I find in my closet.

“Fuck, you’re pretty, princess.”
I can almost feel Tom’s breath on my skin, the warmth of his hands as they graze my arms, his hard chest pressed to my back while that blue-eyed gaze dances over me.

I can barely breathe, it’s so intense. I close my eyes and push down the memories that break me more each and every time. Then I go to find Grandpa in the garden.

He’s sitting in his favorite spot, his bald head rosy from the autumn sun, while colored leaves drift down from the trees above him. He pats the stone bench beside him and I smooth down the skirt of my dress as I sit. Neither of us says anything for a good while. I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know what to tell him.

“I left my heart in San Francisco,” he says, taking my hand and holding it. His wrinkled, papery, sun-spotted hand wraps around mine. And it’s still not enough.

“That sounds like a name of a song,” I say.

He chuckles. “Yes, but it’s also a fact. Her name was Beth.”

“But what about Grandma?” I ask. “Wasn’t she the love of your life?”

“No, princess. She was a wonderful woman, and I loved her very much.” He crosses his chest and glances at the sky. “May she not strike me down for telling you this, but she wasn’t my first choice. I married her because we conceived your father, and I’ll never regret that. But your grandmother never quite got the entirety of my heart the way she deserved, because I left it in San Francisco, with a woman named Beth.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I’m so confused by his admission. He’d always seemed to love my grandmother so much, I can’t imagine him loving someone more.

“Because your heart isn’t here, princess.” He pushes a couple of strands of my hair behind my ear. “Where did you leave it?”

“In Reverence,” I whisper. Unable to hold back the tears, I tell him everything. When I’m finally done, he hands me his handkerchief so I can blot my eyes, while we sit in silence.

“Well, I think you have a brain in that pretty head of yours.” He stands, leaning on his cane, and offers me his hand so he can assist me up. “Maybe if being here isn’t what you want, you should work out what you do want. This boxer fellow, perhaps, and maybe going to college.”

Hooking my arm in his, we make our way back to the house. If only it were that easy. But there’s still the baby, and Tom and Chelsea already care deeply about each other as best friends. Surely, raising a child together could turn that affection into love. Maybe he could even feel about her the way I feel about him, in time. “I don’t know.”

He smiles softly and pats my hand. “Let me know when you’ve made your decision.”

“Do you think Beth forgot about you?”

“Oh no,” he says, a twinkle in his eye. “She found me on Facebook. Would you believe it? She’s coming to visit, and if all goes well, I don’t think I’ll let her leave.”

“Facebook? Seriously?”

“Kaylea taught me how to use it.” He chuckles. “That girl is a social butterfly.”

“Would you have chosen her over my grandmother, my father?”

He stops, leaning heavily on his cane. “Princess, that’s a question only you can answer. I can’t even begin to give you advice on what you should do.”

But I’m already ten steps ahead of myself. Tom’s family is nothing like mine. They pile on top of each other like sardines, all up in each other’s business because they’re closer than any other people I’ve met. Nothing will change that, not even me.

Maybe I can accept responsibility for another woman’s baby, help them both raise it. I’m lighter than I’ve been since I left Reverence, a smile forming on my face for the first time since I came home.

I belong with Tom and his whole crazy, loud family, and I’m strong enough to plant myself in his life, come what may. I love him that much, and more. “I’m going back. Tonight. Now.”

“Hold your horses, princess.” Grandpa laughs, following me as I rush toward the house. “We’ll need to organize your flight.”

“I’m going to pack.” I spin around, race back and kiss his cheek. Then I bolt for the house, and it feels so damn good to run toward what I want, instead of away from it.

The car pulls up to the front of the house about an hour after I finished packing. My muscles are twitchy, jumping with the need to be on my way. I grab my suitcases and stop in front of Kaylea’s door. She doesn’t hear me when I knock, because she’s listening to music through headphones while she does something on her phone. So I go in and sit beside her, pulling one of the speakers away from her ear. “I’m leaving, Kaylea.”

“So soon?” She sits up, cross-legged on the bed, and drops her headphones around her neck. “You just came back.”

“I know it probably doesn’t make any sense, but I don’t fit here anymore. I wish things were different. I’ll miss you.”

“You aren’t hiding anymore.” She shrugs. “You can call any time. I can call you. You’ve got Stalkbook now. Do you have Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat?”

I can’t help but laugh at her. “I’ll get all of them, and you can come visit me, and I’ll come visit you.”

“Just promise not to disappear again.”

I hold out my pinky and she clutches it with hers. “Promise.”

Then she goes back to her music, and I make my way down to where my mother, father, and grandpa are waiting.

My mother kisses my cheek, her eyes a little bright, but she doesn’t say anything. My father barely takes two seconds from his phone conversation to ask why I couldn’t attend a perfectly good business school here.

But Grandpa holds my hand and walks me out to the waiting car, and I hug him while the driver puts my suitcases in the trunk. “Call me whenever you can, princess. I want to hear the happiness in your voice.”

“Okay, Grandpa,” I say as I step into the car. Then I wave goodbye the whole length of the driveway, even after I can’t see him anymore.

***

My stomach rumbles as I step off the plane onto the tarmac. I’ve been too nervous to eat since I made the decision to come back, and I’ve barely managed more than a mouthful over the last few days.

A light mist starts while we head into the terminal. It’s only a small, one building airport, which both private and domestic flights run through. I’m not sure what I do now. I stare at my phone. No one knows I’m here, and I don’t have Tom’s number. I tried to get hold of him on Facebook, but got no response. He might not want to see me. But that isn’t going to stop me. I probably should have asked Grandpa to organize a car to pick me up, but I didn’t, so I’m going to have to get a cab, or hire a rental if there is even one available. Dragging my suitcases behind me, I make my way to a kiosk to figure out my best option.