Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) (21 page)

Karson looked to her and she shook her head. “No, we are fine.”

“Enjoy.”

Once he was gone, Karson said, “There isn’t a day that I don’t regret it, Lacey; you have to know that. I thought about you every day and hated what I did.”

She didn’t know what to say, but hearing him say that pleased her. There wasn’t a moment that passed where she wondered if he missed her, regretted leaving her. “I should have never left you, and the reason I never came back is because I was scared.”

Confused, she asked, “Scared of what? Me?”

He paused for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, I hurt you, and I was scared if I came back and begged you, you wouldn’t take me back—not that I thought I deserved you, but still, I couldn’t take the rejection.”

It was the same reason she never went for him, but she was still irritated with them both. Why couldn’t they let go of their pride? Because of it, they spent nine years without each other. Nine years they couldn’t get back. Nine years of waste, in her opinion. Well, no, she took that back. She was very proud of her business, but everything else, the relationships, the loneliness, wouldn’t have happened if they had never broken up.

“You should never have left,” she whispered, meeting his gaze.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have, and I can’t apologize enough,” he agreed, his eyes so dark and locked on hers. It was as if he was looking inside her soul, and it scared her what he would see. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know that she had been a complete wreck without him. She didn’t want to seem weak, but that’s exactly what she had been. He held her up, he made her the person she wanted to be, and without him, she was someone whom she didn’t love.

Squeezing his hand, she asked, “Are you still sticking with the same reason as before? You left for me?”

When his head slowly shook side to side, her stomach dropped and everything went still. “That’s not why I left.”

Breathless, she held his gaze, waiting for the real answer because, if that wasn’t the reason, then what was?

Karson couldn’t believe he was sitting across from the woman who’d held his heart for the last nine years. Two days in a row, he had been blessed with being in the presence of this angel. Looking into her swimming-with-tears pale green eyes, he hated the tears, but man, he couldn’t help but think she was beyond beautiful. Her hair was down on her shoulders, her face made up to the nines with makeup that enhanced every single feature. She wasn’t a girl anymore, fresh-faced and innocent. No, he could see the pain, the anger, and he knew it was there because of him. But by God, he swore he would rid her of all that. He wanted nothing more than to make her the happiest woman on earth, something he should have done nine years ago, but instead he’d let his fear get the best of him.

He regretted that moment like he had told her, but it was time to move on from that. He couldn’t keep beating himself up over it. It was done. It was time to move on, hopefully with Lacey beside him, but in the process, he was hell-bent on making her feel every bit of love that he hadn’t gotten to give her when they were apart. He had all this love exploding inside him for her and was ready to shower her with it. The only thing was, he had to be honest with her about that day he left, but he wasn’t sure how he could do that.

He knew that she and her dad were close, and he didn’t want to ruin that. He felt he had every right to since Nate did ruin them. But at the same time, he promised he would never hurt her, and telling her that her dad was the one and only reason they broke up seemed like something that would break her.

“First, before I get into that, tell me about yourself.”

Her brows came in, and he had to hold back his grin. She was always so cute when she was perplexed.

“You promised you’d answer my questions, Karson,” she reminded him and he nodded.

“I did and I will. But why jump into all that? We have all night. I’m yours, baby. Tell me about yourself,” he urged, and she looked down at the table, probably knowing he wasn’t going to budge.

“You’re lucky you’re giving me all night to find out, or I’d probably chuck this glass at you.”

He laughed as she met his gaze. “Baby, you have more than tonight. You have forever if you want it.”

Her eyes widened as she blinked a few times. “I do?”

“Oh yeah, I’m laying it out there, all you have to do is take it.”

Her eyes glazed over at she nodded. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It’s meant to be, Lacey,” he said, leaning forward and taking her other hand in his, lacing their fingers together. “So we had some time apart—”

“We had nine years,” she stressed.

“Yeah, nine years and look at us. Do you feel what I’m feeling? It’s like we were never apart. I mean, I look at you and still feel the exact same way.”

“I do too,” she admitted and he smiled. It wasn’t confessing that they loved each other, but it was close to it. By the end of the night, though, he’d have her screaming that she loved him. Or he’d be screaming it to her, one of the two.

“Good, that’s really good to know. Now tell me about yourself.”

She smiled. “What? You haven’t been stalking me?”

He laughed. “I mean, just your regular Facebook and Google searches, but nothing too extensive. What, did you stalk me?”

“About the same thing,” she said with a sheepish grin and he smiled. “So you know I have the business, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Lacey’s Lace. Catchy, I like it.”

“Thank you. It’s doing very well. I started a little after school in my dad’s garage, and now, I have a shop about two miles from here. Rachel, you remember Rachel, right?”

“Your best friend?”

She nodded. “Yeah, she and Grady got married, have two little boys.”

“You always called that,” he said, even though Grady could lick the bottom on his shoe.

“I did. It was weird, but I am happy for them.”

“That’s good,” he deadpanned.

She laughed. “I see there is still no love lost between you two.”

He shrugged as he chewed on his lip for a moment while he thought through his next statement. He didn’t want to hurt her with the things her family did to him, but he also didn’t think it was fair to take all the blame. Yes, he was wrong. Yes, he should have believed in them, but he had two people out to get him and that didn’t make it easy. Should he have fought harder? Fuck yeah, but he didn’t. “You know I called, right?”

Her glass paused at her lips. “What? When?”

“A little after I started playing for Tampa. Grady told me never to call you again, and when I did try again, your number was changed.”

Placing her glass on the table, she shook her head. “Sounds like something he would do, but of course, no one told me anything.”

“Yeah, they’ve always been very overprotective of you,” he said, testing the waters.

“Always. Disgustingly and annoyingly overprotective.”

“They have reason to be. They almost lost you.”

“Don’t make excuses for them,” she warned, her eyes flashing with anger. “They did everything to keep us apart.”

Oh, sweetheart, more than you know
, he thought as he nodded. “That being said, they did it because they wanted to protect you.”

“I don’t care. They hurt me more keeping you away. But whatever, it’s over. I’m sorry for what he did.”

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough to jump on a plane, fly here, and beg you to take me back. I was a coward.”

Her eyes softened. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Karson. We were kids.”

“Still, I knew I loved you more than anything in this world. I knew that you were it, and I walked away. I’m sorry for that.”

Her eyes clouded with tears as she slowly nodded. “I forgive you.”

Relief washed over him. He had been waiting for those words since he’d shut the door to her dorm room. Unable to express his gratitude for her forgiveness, he only nodded as he took in a deep breath. She smiled and he smiled back, his heart aching in his chest for this woman. Clearing his throat, he said, “You know I still love you, right?”

Her grin grew as her face reddened with color. “I had a feeling.”

“The same feeling?” he asked, a smirk forming on his lips as his eyes danced with hers.

“Yes, Karson,” she whispered. “The same feeling.”

Leaning forward, he brought her palm up to his mouth, placing a sweet kiss there before he said, “Good.”

“Ugh, you’re going to make me cry,” she laughed, fanning her face, he guessed to keep the tears in.

He smiled. “Good tears I’m okay with. Anything else is not allowed.”

“They are good, I promise,” she said as she dabbed her eyes. “It all just seems so unreal. Like I’ve waited for this moment my whole life.”

“Me too, baby, and to think we have so much more life to live.”

She grinned as she nodded before taking a deep breath. Waving him off, still with a beautiful grin on her face, she said, “Ugh, now where was I? Oh, yeah, so Rachel helps me run things,” she said, picking up where she left off. He chuckled as their fingers laced back together, his thumb rubbing slowly over the back of her hand as his lips rested against his hand. “We ship all over the country, and I’ve been on talk shows and the news. It’s been a crazy ride since it started.”

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he said, and he was. His heart was pouring with pride and love for her. It always did when he thought about what she had been doing with her business. Any time he got the chance to promote her stuff, he did. As much as he didn’t like to think about it, his mom and sister even owned pieces by her. “I saw you on Oprah.”

She grinned. “Oh, my gosh, I was a mess that day.”

“You were stunning. I think it’s still on my DVR.”

Her face deepened with color. “I still have when you scored that goal in game six, pushing a game seven for the Cup on mine.”

“That was a good game, beauty of a shot, right over his shoulder from the damn blue line,” he noted, smiling when she did.

“It was amazing.”

“Yeah, it was,” he said, grinning like a fool. “So you’ve been keeping up with me?”

“Yeah. It’s hard not to.”

“I know what you mean. Even the stuff I didn’t want to know, I still kept up with.”

“Like?” she asked, and he could tell that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Ethan Stanford.”

She nodded. “Biggest mistake of my life.”

“Could have told you that,” he said, his body tense with jealousy.

“Yeah, well, if you would have been around, it wouldn’t have happened, huh?”

He smiled. “Touché.”

She grinned. “You broke his nose.”

“He ran into my elbow,” Karson defended, but just as quickly as he said it, she saw through it. Of course he was lying.

She snorted. “Liar. He was just skating by, and the next thing I knew, you took him out.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what you are talking about. But if I did, and that did happen, it could be because I read of you two’s engagement not an hour before the game.”

“Ew,” she said, making a face of disgust. “Bad timing, huh?”

He laughed. “Yeah, so hypothetically speaking, my elbow met the douchebag’s face, and I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for it.”

Karson could tell she tried to hold back her laughter, but it didn’t work, and soon she dissolved in giggles. Watching her, he smiled. Man, he loved when she laughed. It really brought out the beauty in her face. He wondered if she’d laughed a lot since he’d been gone, and instantly, he hated any man who had made her laugh. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh, to be the one on the receiving end of that beautiful smile. When her laughter finally subsided, she took a sip of her wine and then met his gaze.

“I never saw a special woman by your side all these years.”

“Because you were here,” he said instantly. It was true. “Apparently the memo didn’t get to you that we were supposed to be together,”

“Damn messenger,” she joked and he smiled.

“Must have gotten lost on the way back to you.”

“You mean, run over,” she said, and he laughed as he nodded. “Or my brother or father intercepted him.”