L8r, G8r (21 page)

mad maddie:

hey, sweetie. you doing ok?

SnowAngel:

hey, mads. i'm FINE, i just feel like a huge jerk.

mad maddie:

how's logan?

SnowAngel:

*blows out big puff of air*

SnowAngel:

he's sad. i dunno.

SnowAngel:

but we talked some more after we left ethan's, and i guess we got things resolved. for now, anyway.

mad maddie:

it kinda surprised me, the way you were acting last nite. you just … didn't seem like you.

SnowAngel:

i know! i didn't FEEL like me! i get that way whenever i'm around logan these days. it's so bad, maddie. i become this mean callous person who treats him like shit, even tho he's such a great guy. and the worst thing is, he LETS me!

mad maddie:

ooo, that's not good

SnowAngel:

he likes me too much! i never thought that could be a problem, but it is! *pulls hair from scalp*

mad maddie:

angela …

SnowAngel:

what?

SnowAngel:

no, don't. i know what yr gonna say. but i CAN'T break up with him. he gave me a JEEP, maddie.

mad maddie:

is the jeep really that important?

SnowAngel:

aaargh

SnowAngel:

no not as in “i'm so materialistic that i'll keep going
out with you so i can have a car.” it's more the fact that …

SnowAngel:

GOD, maddie. HE GAVE ME A JEEP. that's the nicest thing any guy's ever done for me. what kind of heartless bitch would break up with him after that?

mad maddie:

er … the kind of heartless bitch who at least wouldn't be treating him like shit anymore?

SnowAngel:

i wish HE would break up with ME. that's what i keep hoping will happen. is that horrible?

mad maddie:

pretty much

mad maddie:

but i love you anywayz. you know that.

SnowAngel:

so does logan, apparently *buries face in hands*

mad maddie:

i tried to reach zoe so i cld catch her up on everything, but she was—sooprise—unavailable. prolly with doug, prolly doing something ridiculously wholesome like having brunch with him and his parents.

mad maddie:

i almost told her that she and doug are starting to look alike, like those owners who look like their dogs. but i showed restraint.

SnowAngel:

what a good girl you are

mad maddie:

change of subject: what did jana say when you were playing quarters? i saw your face get all hard.

SnowAngel:

oh GROAN. it was just jana being jana, as usual. she goes to serena patterson, “it's so sad to see a hottie like logan go to waste, isn't it? cuz he sure isn't getting any from angela. HE's the one who would appreciate a good chick, if you know what i mean.”

mad maddie:

did you say anything back, like “better a good chick than a dead bird”?

SnowAngel:

ha, i wish

SnowAngel:

but no, i took the high road and didn't even mention the dead bird incident. so there.

mad maddie:

that'll show her!

zoegirl:

angela, what happened at ethan's party?

zoegirl:

maddie hinted that there was drama, but then added to the drama by not telling me. will you please explain?

SnowAngel:

it's really not that interesting but fine.

SnowAngel:

andre and i showed up around 9, and i could tell logan was all excited to see me. but i wasn't excited to see him. and i guess i kinda … didn't make much of an effort. i somehow talked to other ppl for most of the night, and i guess it made logan feel bad.

zoegirl:

because you were ignoring him?

SnowAngel:

not IGNORING him, just …

SnowAngel:

i didn't set OUT to ignore him, i just didn't wanna be with him.

zoegirl:

why?

SnowAngel:

cuz my head is messed up! cuz i'm a mean, stupid, horrible person!

zoegirl:

how did he end up crying???

SnowAngel:

well, at one point i ended up out on the patio with vincent, who was listening to me go on about how frustrated i am with the whole situation. and that in itself was strange. i mean, me? having a heart-to-heart with vincent?!

SnowAngel:

part of it was the beer, i'm sure. you know how drinking can either make things better or worse depending on what mood you were in to start with?

zoegirl:

not really

SnowAngel:

last night it just made me feel down on everything. it wasn't much fun.

zoegirl:

doesn't sound like much fun

SnowAngel:

anyway, maddie realized that logan was upset, and she came and told me that i should talk to him. but
i said no. so she went to talk to him herself, and a few minutes later he appeared by my side and said, “angela, come on, let's go for a walk.”

SnowAngel:

we went and sat on a wall outside ethan's house, and he told me he thought he loved me. isn't that just peachy? and that he didn't understand what was going on. that's when he started crying, which made ME cry. it was awful!

zoegirl:

poor logan!

SnowAngel:

and poor me! don't forget poor me!

zoegirl:

so how did you work things out? or rather, *did* you work things out?

SnowAngel:

i told him i didn't know WHY i was acting that way, and that i was sorry for being such a terrible girlfriend. and last nite i really did feel sorry. but now i just feel blah about it again.

zoegirl:

oh, angela

SnowAngel:

usually i'm the 1 chasing after whatever guy i'm crushing on, you know? and now the situation's reversed, and i can't get my head around it.

SnowAngel:

the problem is, i honestly do like him … just not in a pulse-racing way. but why can't i just CHOOSE to like him that way? why can't i let my head decide instead of my heart???

zoegirl:

i can't believe he said he loves you.

zoegirl:

what did you say back?

SnowAngel:

i buried my head against his chest and didn't meet his eyes. but i DIDN'T say “i love you, 2.” at least i was honest that way.

zoegirl:

wow

SnowAngel:

on the plus side, it's almost spring break, which means we'll be apart for a week. which sounds horrible, i know, but maybe being in california will clear my head.

zoegirl:

i wish i were going to california. but no, i get to visit my grandparents in tennessee.

SnowAngel:

please remember: i'm going to EL CERRITO, where i will prolly see the dreadful glendy. altho i guess it's better than poor maddie, who has to stay at home and clean out her room.

zoegirl:

geez louise, we're pathetic

SnowAngel:

you got that right

SnowAngel:

i have to go feed the chicks. cya tomorrow!

mad maddie:

oh, zo-eeee!

zoegirl:

hey, mads. what's up?

mad maddie:

whoa! yr actually there!

mad maddie:

how long do i have before doug comes over?

zoegirl:

haha, very funny

mad maddie:

???

zoegirl:

grrrr … 30 minutes. we have a physics exam to study for, because of course mr. franklin is making us take an exam the week before spring break.

zoegirl:

but we can chat till then

mad maddie:

wow, i'm honored

mad maddie:

did mr. franklin read you guys the announcement about “senior games week”?

zoegirl:

if he did, i missed it. what's senior games week?

mad maddie:

i swiped mr. gerard's copy, lemme read it to you.

mad maddie:

“Dear Teachers, We are asking that you please mention these following senior lunch games to your classes. If you can, act excited. On Tuesday we will have Ice Sledding in the cafeteria, which will include prizes. On Wednesday we will be having a game called Cheese Heads, in which students will wear fro wigs and try to catch cheese
balls in their hair. On Thursday, the big one, we will be holding a root beer chugging contest!!!”

zoegirl:

omg. angela's behind this, isn't she?

mad maddie:

no doubt. isn't it classic?

zoegirl:

they should just give us bonus free periods. if they want to do something for us, that's all they need to do.

mad maddie:

“cheese heads.” it kills me. and i love the part about, “if you can, act excited”! when mr. gerard came to that part, he glanced up with his typical deadpan expression and said, “yippee.”

zoegirl:

it's insulting, the idea that throwing cheese balls at each other will make us forget how stressed we are.

mad maddie:

and don't forget the “big one,” a root beer chugging contest!

mad maddie:

but I'M not stressed. who says we're stressed? the only one who's stressed is you, zo.

zoegirl:

you're not stressed? really?

mad maddie:

spring semester grades don't even matter. you've gotta lighten up, cupcake.

zoegirl:

ack—maybe you're right

zoegirl:

tina and arlene suggested that too, although not in those words.

mad maddie:

who the hell r tina and arlene?

zoegirl:

the jehovah's witnesses who visited me. they came back today.

mad maddie:

yr now on a first-name basis?

zoegirl:

i invited them in and we had a nice chat. i served them pepperidge farm cookies.

mad maddie:

jesus, zoe. what would your mom say if she knew you were inviting strangers into the house and giving them cookies?

zoegirl:

but my mom wasn't here, and anyway, all she
talks about these days is when i'm going to hear from princeton.

zoegirl:

*she's* the reason i'm stressed. well, part of the reason.

mad maddie:

so what did you and tina and arlene talk about?

zoegirl:

if i tell you, you're going to be rude, but i don't care.

zoegirl:

we talked about everlasting life.

mad maddie:

uh huh

mad maddie:

and what did you learn about everlasting life?

zoegirl:

i didn't “learn” anything. tina and arlene talked about the peaceful paradise that's waiting for us after we die, and i was like, “yeah, that would be nice.”

mad maddie:

it WOULD be nice. doesn't mean it's true.

zoegirl:

doesn't mean it's not, either

zoegirl:

tina, she's the one who just got married, she looked so … i don't know. open and honest when she talked about it. her whole face lit up.

mad maddie:

cuz she's trying to suck you in. it's all an act.

zoegirl:

no it's not. why are you so cynical?

zoegirl:

i haven't figured out what makes jehovah's witnesses so different from normal old Christians. so far it seems like it's just that they call God “Jehovah.”

mad maddie:

and that they go door to door invading ppl's privacy, trying to cram jehovah down their throats.

zoegirl:

i was thinking how hard that must be, the whole door-to-door thing. i bet people are mean to them all the time. (case in point: YOU!)

mad maddie:

i wouldn't be mean. i just wouldn't invite them in for cookies.

zoegirl:

i think they're brave. it may not be what you or i
would do with our lives, but that doesn't make it wrong.

mad maddie:

whatevs

mad maddie:

did they give you any more reading material?

zoegirl:

yeah, a book called “The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.” i gave them a $5 donation for it.

mad maddie:

$5 for a book you neither asked for nor wanted?

zoegirl:

in the illustrations, jesus looks like that cute guy from “white collar.” only not a criminal.

mad maddie:

maybe that's to keep all the j.w. girls hot for christ.

zoegirl:

uh huh, i'm sure that's what they were thinking

mad maddie:

whoa—i'm fading here, zoe. i'm gonna go take a nap.

zoegirl:

it's almost six o'clock! you can't take a nap, you'll be up all night!

mad maddie:

vicious cycle, isn't it?

mad maddie:

buenas noches!