Kung Fooey (7 page)

Man, he had a whole grocery store in those pants.

Benny grinned. “The star of them all.”

“Show us.”

“What is it?”

“Come on, new kid.”

Still keeping the label covered, Benny opened the box and pulled out another kind of bug. He held it up, admiring it. “Chocolate-covered.”

“What is it?” Willy asked.

“What does it look like?”

We inched closer. Its tail was curved. “No,” I gasped. “A scorpion?”

Everyone stepped back.

Benny laughed. “It’s dead. Don’t worry.”

“Holy bazooks!” someone cried. The bug
had pokey horns and a curved tail, all covered in chocolate.

“Is there
really
a scorpion in there?” I asked. “Or is it just chocolate shaped like one?”

“It’s real,” Benny said. “Watch.”

He held it up by its stinger tail and lowered it halfway into his mouth.

I held my breath. Nobody but
nobody
eats scorpions, I don’t care how many nutrients are in them. There’s poison in their stingers.

Snip
.

Benny bit it in half, chewed and swallowed, then showed us the half he didn’t eat.

“Aw, man,” Julio said, putting a hand to his throat.

Because once it was cut in half, you could see the scorpion’s dried guts. My stomach rolled. Benny was bat-brain crazy.

He finished off the other half, stuck the box back in his pocket, and pulled out one last thing.

He held it up. “Anyone want it?”

It looked like a lollipop. It had black specks in it.

Julio squinted. “What’s in it? Pepper?”

“Ants.”

Julio walked away, shaking his head. “I’m outta here.”

“I want it,” I said, snapping the lollipop out of Benny’s hand. I read the label on the clear plastic wrapper. “ ‘Antlix Lollipop.’ Cool.”

I stuck it in my pocket.

“I saw your dad in Las Vegas,” Benny said as the crowd broke up.

I froze. “What? What did you say?”

“Your dad. I saw his show in Las Vegas.”

My mind jumped all over the place. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. “No you didn’t, Benny. You’re making that up. Somebody just told you about him.”

My dad
was
in Las Vegas, but still …

Benny shrugged. “Think what you want.”

“I will,” I said.

What a liar. How could he say that to somebody whose dad left them?

Just wasn’t right.

Benny headed back toward the classroom.

I scowled at him. He was so full of made-up stuff he couldn’t even tell the truth about one thing. Dumb weird weirdo.

As Benny passed the tree where Tito, Bozo, and Frankie Diamond were lounging, Tito picked up a pebble and threw it at him.

The pebble hit Benny in the back.

“Hey, Kung Fu! Come back here! You and me can do some Jackie Chan!”

Benny kept on walking.

“Buuuk-buk-buk,” Tito cackled, flapping chicken-wing arms.

B
ack home after school, Darci, Willy, Maya, Julio, and I ran over to Foodland. Clarence was teaching Stella how to park in the parking lot. We wanted a good seat so we scrambled up to sit on the cinder-block wall.

“They’ll be here any minute,” I said.

Foodland’s parking lot was about half full. There were lots of spaces Stella could pull into, and some were the kind you had to back into.

“So what did Benny do after lunch?” Maya asked.

Julio snorted. “Ate a scorpion.”

Maya’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. We saw it.”

“That’s just sick.”

Willy elbowed me. “Here they come.”

Clarence’s big, clean pink-and-black car bounced into the parking lot a little too fast. Stella was driving. Clarence sat in the passenger seat looking calm. How could he do that? Wasn’t he worried about his car?

When Stella saw us sitting on the wall she hit the brakes. The car jerked to a stop. She stuck her head out the window. “What are you doing here? Go home! I don’t want you watching me.”

“Free country,” I said.

Stella narrowed her eyes. For sure, I was going to pay for this. But I thought, You know what? It’ll be worth it. “Go ahead,” I said. “Don’t let us stop you.”

Clarence sat waiting. He didn’t frown or smile or say a word. He was patient, that guy. Nothing seemed to bother him.

Someone pulled into the lot behind them. Stella jerked the car ahead, scowling.

“Hoo-ie,” Julio said, slapping his thigh. “You better lock your bedroom door tonight, because she might come in there and tie your neck in a knot.”

“I know kung fu,” I said.

Julio laughed.

“I can’t wait to drive,” Willy said. “In
California, my dad let me sit on his lap and steer the car. It was awesome.”

“Yeah?”

“I was in second grade the first time I did it.”

“Watch,” Maya said, nodding toward the parking lot. She pulled a bag of peanut M&M’s out of her pocket and passed it around. “Here we go.”

Stella was creeping into a parking space between two cars, but Clarence made her stop because the door on his side was about to hit the back bumper of the parked car. Stella backed up and tried again. I noticed Clarence wasn’t looking so calm now.

This time Stella did it right. Almost. She’d parked without hitting the cars on either side of her. But if Clarence wanted to get out he’d have to crawl over to Stella’s side.

Clarence wiped his forehead with his fingers.

Stella backed out of the parking space, with Clarence sticking his head out the window to
watch how close she was coming to the car on his side. Looked like inches to me.

“Lucky no cars are behind her,” Willy said. “They’d be honking, she’s so slow.”

After Stella managed to get the car out of that space, she drove around looking for another one. At the top of the gently sloping parking lot, somebody had left a shopping cart.

Stella hit it.

She jerked to a stop, the bumper tapping the cart and sending it rolling down toward a shiny clean fancy black car.

Clarence jumped out and ran after the runaway cart. He caught it just before it smashed into the black car.

Stella sat gripping the wheel, watching.

Clarence ran the cart over to the cart corral and got back in the car with Stella.

Stella drove around looking for another place to park.

“You know what Benny said yesterday at school?”

Julio turned to me. “Bugs have nutrients?”

“He said he saw my dad in Las Vegas.”

Darci leaned forward and looked over at me. “He did? He saw Dad?”

“He’s such a liar,” I said.

“No kidding,” Maya said. “He’s like a water faucet on an old house. Whenever you turn it on rust comes out. You can’t trust anything he says.”

“Yeah,” Willy added. “Guy’s too weird.”

“A freak,” Julio said.

I frowned. Calling him a freak didn’t feel right. He was just strange, that’s all. Different.

“Did it make you feel bad when he said that?” Willy asked.

“Huh … what?”

“Did it make you feel bad when Benny said he saw your dad? I mean, lying like that?”

I shrugged. It made me feel something, but I didn’t know what.