Kitty Katt 11: Alien Separation (15 page)

E
NSURED I WASN'T
looking at any of the men with me. “But first, we need to know all that's going on. And if anyone wants to question why the Gods want this information, it's because we want know what you know, or think you know. We're here to help you, not do it all for you.”

King Benny nodded. “As you say, Shealla. Shall we tell you now?”

“No,” Chuckie said quickly. “We would like to discuss where we want to go. Why don't you and your people determine where you will house us for the journey?”

The Lecanora all bowed and backed away. Once they were a few steps back, they turned and scurried off to their various wagons.

“I'd say I can't believe we were sent here on purpose to save the world,” Christopher said. “But . . .”

“Based on past history, I can believe it,” Jeff said.

Chuckie nodded. “Frankly, it's too easy to believe. I just don't know who would send us here, specifically.”

“Maybe we were, maybe we weren't.” Figured ACE or Algar had something to do with where we'd landed and that we'd absolutely been put here for a reason, and maybe more than one reason. “But I think we need to get to the All Seeing Mountain as fast as possible, if not sooner.”

“It would be faster if we just asked the katyhoppers to take us,” Chuckie pointed out. “They're going to go faster than a caravan, especially since they can fly over bad terrain or areas with no roads or paths.”

“These people need us,” Jeff said. “It was clear to me yesterday and it's clearer today.”

“I think there's more going on than just the clan wars, and even more than whatever's going on within this system.”

All three guys stared at me, but it was my turn to be shocked. Christopher nodded. “I agree with Kitty. Something's off. More than what we're seeing. Starting with how calmly the Lecanora and the katyhoppers accepted us.”

Looked at Pinky, who was waving his antennae like mad. “Oh? Really? Interesting. Okay, Pinky says that the katyhoppers have passed down a story, from the first katyhopper Matriarch who gained full sentience. And that story revolves around furless bipeds who look unusual for this world who will arrive out of nowhere and save the world.”

That sat on the air for a while. Jeff broke the silence. “So . . . are you saying the katyhoppers think we're Gods, too?”

Saffron waved her antennae, with Turkey and Pinky adding in.

“Ah, no. They're aware we're from another planet. They just have folklore about something like this happening. It's why the Matriarch sent them with us.” And why our three katyhoppers were excited and considered it an honor, versus a burden.

“I wonder if they can see the future as well as mind read,” Chuckie said musingly.

Pinky waved antennae.

“No,” Christopher said. “And I know you got that, too, Chuck. They don't believe they can see the future. However, their Matriarchs make an annual pilgrimage to the All Seeing Mountain, just like the Lecanora do. The Matriarchs go at different times.”

“So each will see what the others might have missed,” I said, since that's what Saffron was telling us. “No one other than a Matriarch is allowed to go, by the way.”

“Meaning Kitty's right and we need to get to that mountain,” Christopher said.

“We need to find the others and help these Lecanora, too,” Jeff said firmly. “And I don't want us splitting up again, so no one suggest it. And no, I'm not mind reading. I just know the three of you.”

“Wow, bitter much? But I agree. We want our scattered group back together, not rescattering to who knows where.”

“We have to backtrack, I think,” Jeff said. “They weren't headed this way when they found me. We only came down this trail because it was the most direct way to get toward where I felt the three of you.”

“Where
were
they heading when they found you?” Chuckie asked.

“I honestly have no idea. I didn't ask.”

“We can just ask King Benny,” Christopher said. “It may not matter. They don't strike me as actually having a destination.”

“What makes you say that?” Chuckie asked. I could see the wheels in his head turning.

Christopher shrugged. “None of them seemed impatient. I didn't hear anyone asking why they were taking this trip, no one was complaining about how they were late or going to miss someone or something.”

“They're wandering in the desert looking for a homeland.”

The guys all looked at me. “Why are you comparing them to the Israelites?” Chuckie asked.

“They're outcasts for their beliefs.” And my suspicion was gelling into certainty that we'd been sent here, to this planet, specifically. And not by whoever had tried to get us into this solar system in the first place. Which begged a big question. Two, really. “If the katyhoppers see ships in space, and so do the Lecanora, what does it mean? And how can they see them?”

“That's why we want to go to the All Seeing Mountain,” Christopher replied. “At least to hopefully answer your second question. As for the first one, we've agreed that there's trouble out here and if there's trouble, spaceships being out isn't a surprise.”

Chuckie shook his head. “I think the question is, why are they around this planet, specifically?”

“Really?” Jeff asked. “You three are reading minds and talking to sentient katyhoppers who also read minds. Why are you even asking the question?”

“I think we're asking because until the three of us landed in Purple Land, to my knowledge, no one knew about the mind reading. And by no one, Jeff, I mean your dad, Richard, Alexander, Councilor Leonidas, Queen Renata, the rest of the Planetary Council. No one.”

“Maybe they just didn't tell us about it,” Jeff suggested. “You know, like all the other things they didn't tell us until we were being invaded or something.”

“No,” Christopher said slowly. “I really think that they'd have told us when we were invaded before your wedding.”

“Operation Invasion would have been the prime time, Jeff, especially because we were getting info on all the other inhabited planets.”

“While I'd never say that any politician can be fully trusted, present company being literally the only exception,” Chuckie said, “I can say that Councilor Leonidas never insinuated that this planet was worth paying attention to. Alpha Four was interested in Alpha Seven and Beta Sixteen, because they were so much closer to being space-ready. But everyone in the Planetary Council felt that Beta Eight should be firmly left alone. So why are the ships here?”

“If they're here,” Jeff said. “Keep in mind that there are plenty of reasons people have visions.”

“Drugs being only one. I'm inclined to believe the Lecanora but only because of the katyhoppers.” Which might have been why Christopher, Chuckie, and I landed there.

All three katyhoppers waved their antennae like mad.

“Pinky, Saffron, and Turkey insist that they don't do drugs. By the way.”

“The waterfruit could be considered a drug,” Chuckie said. “But that doesn't mean the Matriarchs or the Lecanora, for that matter, haven't seen what they think they have. We don't have enough data to do anything more than guess, so we need to table the speculation and focus on getting to that mountain and finding the others.”

“I like that plan of action,” Jeff said.

“Well, Chuckie is the God of Wisdom, after all.”

Jeff grinned. “Yeah, and you're the Namer of Things and boy, is that accurate.”

“Hey, a girl's gotta do what she does best.”

“Please don't get us into trouble, or ignore what Jeff, Chuck, or I say,” Christopher said. “Because you've already fallen from a great height, so I'm expecting the other two things you do best to be coming soon.”

“I'll hurt you later, Christopher.”

“Only if you can catch me.”

“Yeah, as to that, I have an idea.”

“No,” Jeff said flatly. “I may be having trouble reading anyone or anything, but up this close to you, I can get your emotions clear enough. Didn't I already say and we all agree that spitting up was a bad idea?”

“You and we did, but Chuckie's right—we're going to be moving much more slowly than we want to. Christopher's the Flash. He can be around the world in far less than eighty minutes, let alone eighty days.”

“I don't follow you, Kitty, but I can, yeah.”

“And he won't be alone. Bruno can also handle the hyperspeeds, as can the Poofs. With Poofs on Board, if there's trouble, one or more of them can come back and warn us and then we, who also possess hyperspeed, can get to Christopher to provide backup.”

“I'm game, Jeff.”

“If we assume time is of the essence,” Chuckie said, “and I'm sure we should, then this makes a lot of sense. If Bruno and the Poofs will help.”

Jeff sighed. “Fine. And, by the way, I have a Poof with me. Not Harlie, but it's been quiet and I have to admit it was nice to not be totally alone here. Not that I didn't meet the Lecanora immediately, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah. Harlie was with me so as to give Poofikins an assist in bringing Bruno along. They told us you weren't Poofless on the journey.” A Poof popped out of Jeff's suit pocket and yawned. “Sleepy there seems to be getting all its snoozing in just like the rest of the Poofs.”

Interestingly enough, the Poof didn't do anything. Clearly Sleepy wasn't going to be its name.

“Huh. I'm shocked that the Poof didn't attach to Kitty, after that,” Chuckie said.

“Oh, ah, yeah.” Jeff looked hugely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

I laughed. “What did you call it?”

Jeff mumbled something. Christopher started to laugh. “Revenge. Revenge! This trip's looking up.”

“What did he name it?” I asked Christopher, since Jeff was looking all kinds of embarrassed and still wasn't going to say anything audible as near as I could tell.

“Murphy. After
his
stuffed toy when we were little.”

Since Christopher's Poof was named Toby after his former beloved stuffed animal—and Jeff had laughed his head off about that when we'd found out—this truly seemed like Ironic Justice. And I still needed someone to make that into a monthly comic.

Saffron nudged Christopher and waved her antennae.

“Saffron thinks she can handle the hyperspeed,” he shared. “I'm doubtful, but if we do a fast test and see if she can indeed take it, then it would be good to have her along.”

“Super. Then let's do that test and get Christopher's Speedy Circus on the road.”

A
MAZINGLY ENOUGH,
Saffron had no issues at all with hyperspeed. Don't know why I was shocked—after all, every other being we'd ever met from this solar system was super-speedy—but since none of the natives we'd met so far on this planet used hyperspeed, it came as a surprise that the katyhoppers could handle it.

And all three of them could. It took almost no time for Christopher to test them, after all. They used the experience to grab more waterfruit from the Purple Lands, so we scored a double that way.

While they were doing that, Jeff, Chuckie, and I discussed where Christopher should go. Since we were going to head for the All Seeing Mountain, him searching for the rest of our lost tribe sounded like the wisest choice.

We rejoined King Benny and explained that Binalla was going to go see what he could see, so to speak, and that we expected him to rejoin us sooner as opposed to later. King Benny seemed unsurprised by this.

“Binalla flies on the wind,” he said solemnly. “What can we provide that you will need for your journey?”

“Directions would be nice,” Christopher said, showing amazing restraint in not asking just what his God-powers were aside from wind. “As in, how you're going to travel to get to the All Seeing Mountain. And a small bag to carry supplies.” We'd wisely decided that Christopher should take waterfruit with him, just in case.

A well-worn map was found and presented while the search for a bag worthy of a God was begun. While King Benny and Skunky went over travel options with Christopher and Jeff, who wanted to weigh in on what route we actually took, Chuckie and I studied the map itself.

The world on the map was drawn as a circle. Whether this meant the Lecanora knew the world was a sphere, or if their awareness of their surroundings said they lived on a circular continent or something, I chose not to ask at this time.

The map was divided into seven sections, not all of equal size. The Purple Land, denoted by color, was the smallest of the sections, and had what I took to be “stay away” signs around it.

The most interesting thing about the divisions, though, was that they weren't random-shaped, like the countries on Earth were, and they weren't like slices of a pie, either. They were sort of swirled, like the Yellow Brick Road, only with six other colors, or a big lollipop like you'd get at the fair or an amusement park.

This meant that the center of the map, and possibly the center of the world, or at least the part of the world the Lecanora knew about, was where every land radiated from, or to, depending on your viewpoint. Took a bet with myself and won, because, shocker of shockers, the All Seeing Mountain was the place in the center.

The other colors on the map—in addition to purple and the reddish-ochre that denoted the land we were on right now—were green, blue, black, white, and yellow. Green and blue were the biggest, both bigger than bronze and purple put together. The other three were all larger than the Bronze Lands. Clearly the four of us had landed in the poorer countries, or whatever these various lands were actually considered by the natives.

Then again, Luxembourg was tiny and very affluent. On the other hand, we already knew that the rest of the population left the Purple Lands severely alone, so the idea that anyone else on the planet knew what a goldmine that place actually was seemed unlikely.

Though having flying killer snakes would be good enough reason to never go there again. On the other hand, King Benny had said they had them here, too. Controlled a shudder. Did not want Christopher and his team running into one of those when they were alone.

Had a thought and pulled Pinky aside. “Are the snakipedes or Horrors able to do what you all can?” Reply was in the negatory in terms of antenna waving. “Okay, why not?” More waving. “Aha, that makes sense.”

Chuckie came over. “You had the same thought and question I did. Good to know that a high enough sentience level is required.”

“Yeah, very much so.” The others were done and we rejoined them.

“Do you have the map memorized?” Chuckie asked, as the beaver-chick, whose name appeared to be Nanda, handed Christopher a decent-size knapsack made out of what looked to be bosthoon hide. Got this impression this was hers and she'd emptied it out in order to be the one whose bag was used by a God. Hey, whatever made her happy.

“Ah . . . somewhat,” Christopher said.

Chuckie and I exchanged a look. “I know you have it committed to memory, dude. Within a minute of looking at it. And we just proved that Turkey can handle all Christopher needs to do, too.”

“Seriously?” Jeff asked. “You want Chuck to go with Christopher?”

While he was stressing, I took the knapsack from Christopher and transferred waterfruit and a couple of food bars in there as surreptitiously as possible.

As I did, noted that I had a lot of food bars. More than I remembered from the night before. Tossed several more into Christopher's knapsack and a few more waterfruit. Wondered if Algar had turned my purse into an “ask and ye shall receive” receptacle, like all A-C refrigerators and most cupboards were.

Decided I'd find out when all the Lecanora weren't standing around watching. Though as a God-like move, it would be hard to beat the whole “ask and ye shall instantly receive” trick. Though I knew how the cosmos enjoyed its little jokes, and the very moment I had an appreciative audience for that trick it wouldn't work in a big way.

“It makes sense, Jeff. That way, no one's alone.” Chuckie grinned. “Try not to miss us while we're gone and you two have some alone time. You know, just you and everyone else here.”

“The romantic ambiance is overwhelming. Yeah, Christopher, you good with it?” I was. It made more sense, and I had to figure that Chuckie had always figured he'd go with Christopher and had just let Jeff get acclimated to the idea slowly. Plus they'd have plenty of food and waterfruit. Sadly, my purse wasn't tossing up extra guns and ammo. Maybe Algar wanted a formal request.

“I am. Let's get going. We don't have a lot of light left.”

“Speaking of which,” Chuckie said, “based on where we are and who we'll be with, if we have to spend the night somewhere, we will, so don't panic if we don't come back immediately.”

“You're sure you'll be safe?” Jeff looked at the katyhoppers. “Not that I'm insinuating that your traveling companions are wrong.”

Turkey and Saffron waved antennae.

“They'll be fine,” I said quietly. “The katyhoppers now know the sounds we make when we sleep, and they have ways to muffle us and mask our scents. They just hadn't realized they'd need to do so last night.”

“I don't want to know,” Christopher muttered. “Because I'm just sure it involves them spraying things out of their rear ends.”

It did, so I didn't share. He'd find out soon enough.

Hugs all around, then I handed the knapsack to Christopher and Bruno to Chuckie. The katyhoppers reared up on their hind legs, grabbed each other with one of their middle legs and their respective guys with the other, and waved to us with their front legs.

Well, for a moment they waved. Then Christopher kicked the hyperspeed up to eleven and they all disappeared in the blink of an eye.