Kiss Me Again (2 page)

Buck rushed to her. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't even swing it that hard. Flicked it, really." He pulled her hand away to look at the welt and hissed upon first inspection. "You should put ice on it."

Blinking back the tears, Andee looked at Buck. "Maybe this is a really bad idea. How can we go to a place like this Love Cave and even consider participating when I can't take a slight flick from the crop?"

"I'm not real big on pain either. I don't even like watching my brother spank his kids."

Defeated, Andee let her shoulders slump. Who was she kidding? They weren't swingers; they didn't even like to double date unless it was Cole and Lorelei. She unfastened the snap on her skirt and took her first deep breath since pulling it on. "Truth is my stomach was starting to hurt." She rubbed at the red marks circling her waistline. "We suck."

"Nah. We just need to rethink it. I've got an idea."

Andee waited for him to finish.

"I saw some Easy Cheese in the pantry. I think we have bourbon and sugar cubes left. How about we get into some . . . other clothes, turn on some Mad Men. I'll let you pick the season. We can break out our sixties food, make each other an Old Fashioned, and dream about being able to drink on the job. Or at the very least, walk out whenever we want."

"What about the hotel room? We'll have to pay anyway."

"There's our spontaneity. See, we're reckless with money." Buck made a check mark in the air and laughed. "Check that off the list."

Andee laughed with him. "Reckless with money wasn't on the list."

It was good to see him smile, to share a moment and feel connected to him again.

"Work with me here." He rubbed her arm.

"You'd rather marathon-watch a series we've already seen than go to a sex club?"

Buck shrugged. "Maybe this isn't the right type of club for us."

It was not lost on her that he didn't suggest going straight to bed.

Andee sighed. At least they had this. He seemed to enjoy her company when they watched TV. "I think there are some 100 Grands in the freezer. I'll pull up Netflix. You make the drinks."

"Atta girl." Buck swatted her on the bottom. "Go change."

"I think I'll have to cut this skirt off me to get out of it."

"I'll meet you on the couch," he called.

Though she was relieved to be staying in and getting out of the torturous contraption, staying home only fed into her insecurities about the state of their marriage and their sex life. If they didn't have wild, reckless sex tonight, would the days after be more of the same?

Andee miraculously managed to get out of the skirt without having to cut it then changed into one of Buck's old college shirts and a pair of elastic-waist running shorts--also known as her daily lounge wear. Pulling her hair into a low ponytail, she looked at herself in the large mirror over her dresser. When had she stopped spending time on her appearance? Was it before or after she and Buck got into this rut? How long ago was that? Three years? Maybe four? Even tonight, she'd barely added to her makeup regime, thinking the dark eyeliner was sexing it up enough.

What made it worse was that as a couple they might be experiencing a dip, but lately she'd hit a low on a personal level as well. Sure, a routine was inevitable, and the fact was that she and Buck had been creating routines together for many years, so it was remarkable that they hadn't fallen into a lull like this before.

But they were most decidedly in a rut. They could call it what they wanted. Dress it up under the guise of familiarity and comfort and try to convince everyone that only couples who had something so solid could obtain such a thing, but no one ever talked about a car hitting a pothole or getting stuck in a groove as a good thing.

How could marriage be any different?

It wasn't, and no matter how she looked at it, she and Buck were not experiencing a good thing. Once his interest was gone, would he move on toward something newer and fresh? Upgrade?

It was the term her father had always used when he'd move them to yet another house he was planning to remodel. "Everyone wants something better, something more," he'd tell her. This point of view was even reflected in her mother, who continually changed her look and style.

Andee groaned and stared at her closet full of clothes older than her marriage.

They clearly needed a dose of
better
. Especially in the sex department. Ugh. It totally sucked. It wasn't that they didn't have sex. In fact, they'd had sex a few nights ago. Only it was just the same old sex every time. The same moves. The same length of time. The same quick cuddle afterward. Lately, when it was over, Andee was left feeling more alone and less loved than at any other point in her day, week, or life.

She was sick of the same, and though she'd never subscribed to her father's philosophy, it was a long time coming for her to start mixing things up. Yes, something was off between them. If she waited any longer, that something could grow into a big monster and destroy everything dear to her. There was no way she was about to let that happen, things had already gone too far. It was time for a new season in the life of Andee and Buck.

CHAPTER TWO

Buck didn't peel out of his father's parking lot.
He didn't even feel the urge to do a doughnut or make an obscene gesture. He just got in his truck and drove away, with a smile so large he thought he might look a bit maniacal. It wasn't every day a person got fired and was excited about it.

If his father had one thing going, he was consistent. Unfortunately, he was consistently a ball buster. Ever since Buck could remember, his father had ridden him about grades, or football, and now the job. Ridden him? Nah, that sounded like something normal parents did. Buck's father was nothing more than an aging bully and he was tired of it. A son shouldn't dislike his father as much as he did. Buck was a grown-ass man, for Pete's sake, and he lived for his days off and time away from his old man. Being near him was walking a tight rope and depending on a vindictive person to set up the safety net. The stress of being always tense and on edge was wearing him down.

As if on autopilot, he drove toward home but got distracted by the empty lot near the mall that he'd fallen in love with. OK, maybe love was a strong word. He didn't actually love the unturned earth.

His phone chimed. A glance at the screen showed his father calling, so Buck ignored the call. Instantly a text from his brother showed up.

Where R U?

Buck looked around the busy strip mall and randomly picked a spot.

Beef O'Brady's. Having a beer. Celebrating,
he answered.

On my way
was Cal's reply.

Buck groaned. Now he was stuck actually going to have a beer with his brother when he should be heading home to lower the boom on his wife.

Of course, one beer wouldn't hurt anything, and it would give him time to figure out how he was going to tell Andee that he was changing the game.

He pulled out of the empty lot and gave it one last look. It was a blank slate that he could do something with. A dream he was finally coming to terms with. But this foundationless piece of earth had the potential to bring down everything he held dear. Normally, changes weren't a concern for him and his wife because they were usually in sync with each other. Both determined and driven by opportunity and goals, they made a formidable team. Unexpected change like he was planning was going to no doubt disrupt their lives. More importantly, it was going to push Andee out of her comfort zone and into a space where he knew she'd sworn she'd never live. Together, they'd spent years cultivating their path and now he'd be asking her--pushing her actually--onto a new, less organized and possible extremely unstable path. A path with potential financial disaster and incredible stress lining the way. Marriages were destroyed on less. But for Buck, the time to begin his entrepreneurial venture was now. As he saw it, staying with his dad carried just as much risk. It would break him, and how long could she stay with a broken man?

The drive across the to Beef's took no time and he was seated at the bar with a beer in one hand and an order of wings arriving at any minute when his brother slid onto the stool next to him.

"Dude, dad's been trying to call you. What number is that?" Cal nodded toward Buck's beer before waving for the bartender to come over.

"It's my first, and I don't care that he's been trying to call me. It's bullshit, Cal, to fire someone and then call them up and yell some more, because you know that's what he wants to do." Buck held the beer with one hand and picked at the label with the other.

The bartender placed the platter of wings before Buck, who pushed the plate halfway between himself and his brother.

"It feels like we're breaking the law having a beer midafternoon on a work day," Cal said.

"You going back today?"

"Nah, I told him I'd talk you off the ledge."

Buck snorted with disbelief. "What ledge? Man, I feel free. I feel alive." He raised his bottle. "To kissing that toxic job and the asshole we call dad good-bye."

"Don't be like that."

"Why do you stay?" Buck asked, turning to face his brother.

Cal took a long pull from his beer before answering. "I tried to leave once. A few years ago. But the offers were lower and the upward mobility sucked. Michelle was pregnant with Colby . . ."

"So you stuck it out." Buck shook his head in disbelief. Man, they were a dysfunctional group.

"Back then I had two kids and one on the way. I didn't have much choice, and I still don't." His brother wouldn't look at him.

"That's why he owns you, Cal."

"What do you want me to do? Let my family go without the things they like? No more trips to Disney because Dad can't ignore his own father. One day he'll be out and we'll be in charge."

"You'll be in charge. I'm out. If I had kids, I'd have left long ago. There's no way I'd come home feeling this angry all the time. It's bad enough Andee has to deal with it, but kids? No way. You know, over the last year, we've been shorter with each other. Fighting."

Cal clasped him on the back. "That's marriage, bro."

Buck shook his head. "Not my marriage. I don't want to do anything. Not even hunt. I dread family dinners on Wednesdays. It puts me in a foul mood for the rest of the week. That's no way to live."

Cal shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you."

"I'm sorry you're going to be stuck with him on your own." Part of Buck hated that his brother would be on his own but a greater part was stoked to finally be free.

"You're really not going back?" Cal's pushed his beer away and stared at his him. "Even though it's your weekend to cover the store?"

Buck shook his head. "I'm sorry but no. I'm not going back."

"Man, he's gonna be pissed," Cal said before finishing his beer.

"Hey, brothers Swift. Mind if I join you?" Jared Calhoun sat on the stool next to Buck.

"Jared." They shook hands. "What brings you out to Beef's on this fine Friday afternoon?"

"Had a taste for some wings." Jared leaned back to rest his hand on his upper thigh and turned his attention to Buck. "I think our girls are out shopping together."

Buck grinned. "You and Melinda dating?"

Jared nodded, a wide smile consuming his face.

"It's about time," Cal said. He and Jared had graduated high school together and had run in similar crowds.

"Beer for my friend here," called Buck to the bartender while holding up his own.

"Guess some things just need time to percolate." Jared leaned across Buck and snagged a wing.

"And a fire to accelerate it," Cal added, referring to the house fire Melinda had experienced a week ago. Jared's construction company was handing the cleanup.

The bartender set out three beers.

"To the future," Buck toasted and the three raised their beers.

"I'll drink to that," slurred a man behind them. Sitting at a two-top table was Kevin Norman, another graduate from their high school, but from Buck's year.

"What's your deal, Kev?" Jared asked.

"I'm a free man, boys."

"You quit your job, too?" Buck asked.

"Nah." Kevin leaned back in his chair and raised his bottle. "I'm getting divorced. No more nagging wife. No more requests to pick up milk or bread. Just me and my freedom and the hot young thing I'm dating. She doesn't even know what the Disney Channels is." Kevin toasted himself and took a swig.

"Don't be so sure. You said she was young, right? She probably grew up with Hannah Montana," said Cal, who would know as he'd often complained that his oldest made him watch every episode.

"That'll make her good at twerking." said Kevin with a hooded wink. "Know what I mean?" He winked again and swayed. "It's great, fellas. Freedom."

Jared laughed. "Yeah, it tastes good now. Let's see what you say when you see Lisa out on a date."

Kevin scoffed and sat back so quickly he swayed in his seat. "Ha, she'll never date. She's too busy with the kids. They're her world." He said the last bit in what Buck assumed was a poor imitation of Lisa.

"Until it's your weekend to keep them and suddenly she's got forty-eight hours to herself. Lisa's a looker. She's got that take-care-of-you, make-you-feel-good vibe about her." Jared fanned the flame. "She won't last long on the market."

Kevin jumped up, bumping the table, which spilled the beer he'd set down only moments earlier all over his pants. "You shut up, Jared Calhoun. Keep your hands off my wife."

"Your ex-wife," Jared said as he stood. He was at least three inches taller than Kevin, and while Kevin's football muscles had gone soft from years behind a computer, Jared's had grown from years of owning a construction company and working outside.

Kevin pointed a shaky finger at Jared before he scuttled off to the restroom.

With a laugh, Jared sat back on the stool. He held up his beer. "Here's to never being as shortsighted as that moron."

Buck surely hoped his hesitancy to change his comfortable life wouldn't change the way Andee saw him. That it wouldn't leave her with doubts as to how much he valued her or their relationship. Even if the last year had been rough. He needed to pull his head out of his ass and simply tell her what was on his mind, and he'd do that right after he had another beer.