Killing Time (40 page)

Myself.

Digging deep, I drew upon every scrap of energy, fed my anger to it like fuel to a bonfire and stoked it ever higher. Scrounging even deeper within myself, I drew upon memories of my blessed time with Koda—the safe warmth of his embrace, the gift of his rare grin, the magical touch of his sweet lips, the liquid heat he awakened in me. The wondrous miracle of his loving me. And in that moment, I knew without doubt, without hesitation, that I loved him too.

Letting my instincts guide me, I stretched my senses to their limits and shoved through the remote coldness that Koda’s awareness had become. Where his soul should have resided, warm and golden and full of life, there was instead a hollow place, with only the faintest memory of Koda still remaining. Refusing to give in to terror and grief, I fought on.

Calling to him, claiming him my most precious friend and my lover, I poured all that we shared into that terrifying emptiness. Holding nothing of myself back, I gave him everything—the good and the bad, the life that I’d barely dared to hope for and the miraculous emotions I felt for him.

After a terrifyingly long moment, Koda shook his head as if to clear it. I held onto him, letting my voice fall silent when I sensed that he was truly back. He was weakened by the fight for his spirit, but every last wonderful part of him had returned.

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I watched the ghost-people fade. Their voices became whispery as the wind they’d arrived on retreated out the open windows and doors. The last one to go was Ahanu. When our gazes met, he raised a hand in farewell, then he turned and disappeared. As the Great Hall fell silent, Koda sagged in my arms. His skin was like ice and violent tremors shook him.

I stumbled under his greater weight, nodding my thanks to James when he braced Koda’s arm across his shoulders. “We have to go now,” James said, already moving toward the arched doorway.

Now that the ghost-people were gone, the fae swordsmen were regrouping. As more and more bent to retrieve their dropped weapons, their angry gazes were focusing on us.

We retraced our steps through the empty corridors and ran out through the keep’s enormous gate. I was grateful then for Reiden’s arrogance since he hadn’t stationed guards here to close us in once we’d entered his trap—true to form, it never occurred to him that we’d make it back out.

Sprinting as fast as we could, we got to the first hill overlooking the castle. Koda straightened and waved off James’s and my supporting hands. I started to ask if he was okay when the clatter of hooves drew our gazes toward the keep.

“Oh, hell,” I whispered.

Evie went pale. “Let me guess. The Wild Hunt?”

“Are they after you, Sephti?” Koda rasped.

“Berand wouldn’t have waited to attack if Reiden had told him about Cian’s death.” Hope, more than conviction, made my voice strong. “It would’ve been personal. I think he’s rallied the Hunt just because we killed Reiden.”

“Just?” Evie echoed.

“Everybody hated Reiden. But it would be bad form if Berand didn’t at least try to kill his king’s murderers.”

“Why don’t I feel reassured?” Evie snapped. “Less talking, more running, please!”

We raced flat-out toward the mortal plane’s grasslands, the Wild Hunt and its cu sith hounds closing the distance behind us. There was no way we were going to get clear of them in time. Whether or not Berand was personally invested, the Hunt was too damn fast.

We split into groups of two, one pair turning and shooting arrows into the Hunt while the others ran ahead. Then the forward pair laid covering fire while the first two ran past them a distance before whirling, and in turn firing at the pursuing riders. It worked, too, keeping the Huntsman from overtaking and surrounding us. But it meant we were in danger of being trapped on the fae plane, since dawn’s approach would bring the walls back up.

“Must go faster!” I gasped, sprinting beside Koda as we raced past Evie and James’s firing position.

“Almost…there.” Koda’s shirt was slicked to his chest with sweat and his breathing was ragged. The last two sprints had taken their toll on him and he’d stumbled several times, but his dark look had warned against my offering help. “One more set and we’re clear.”

We stopped on a rocky promontory and I recognized the Black Hills’ granite beneath our feet. Turning, we put our last arrows to string and fired over James’s and Evie’s heads as they ran to join us. One of Koda’s shots took down the Huntsman’s mount, the mortally wounded beast caroming into another and tripping two more. The Hunt’s center mass collapsed beneath the flailing hooves of the nearest followers, crushing two hounds and injuring a third.

Turning, Koda and I ran with our vampire friends. Dawn was fast approaching and I was terrified we’d get trapped here, with the Hunt so close. All we’d done was slow them and massively piss off their master. If we got stuck here, I didn’t hold out much hope that we’d survive the experience.

The land grew steeper beneath our flying feet as we ran the last quarter-mile. Topping the final rise, we turned to face the way we’d come. Thirty yards and closing, the cu sith hounds raced, their white coats glowing in the pre-dawn’s gray light, their red eyes mad with bloodlust. Not far behind them came the rolling thunder of aughisky hooves, the sounds echoing back and forth ominously across the Black Hills.

Then ten wolves flew past us, running silently straight at the hounds. Too late, the cu sith tried to evade the silver and gray missiles. In a jumble of teeth and guttural snarls, the two groups plowed into each other, grass and fur flying. When the first aughisky galloped into sight, four of our unexpected allies broke free of the vicious fight and flew at the mounts. Two aughisky fell, squealing, each with a wolf at its throat. A third went down, hamstrung, and a fourth bolted in a blind panic, ignoring its rider as he sawed viciously at the reins.

I started back to help, but Koda caught me. “They know what they’re doing.”

“But the walls…”

“Brother Wolf and his cousins can sense its existence far better than we can. He’ll bring them back in time.”

Eyeing the lightening sky, I muttered, “He’s cutting it awfully close.”

The largest wolf threw his head back and gave a barking howl. As one, the others broke from their fights and turned to sprint toward us. I could sense the walls rising, their increasing strength tingling along my awareness even as the stars faded and night turned to day.

“Hurry,” I said under my breath, willing the wolves to greater speed. I knew all too well what the Hunt did to those who got between them and prey.

The rising sun crested the horizon then. Since we faced east, its brilliance blinded us to everything but the hard-riding figures pursuing the wolves at full gallop. Squinting and shading my eyes against the painful glare, I pumped a fist in the air as the pack hurtled past us. The wall slammed shut, right on their furry heels.

“Aughisky and fae shift.” James kept his gaze focused on the east, the sun making his eyes flash like a cat’s reflecting headlights. “What’s to stop the Hunt from coming after us?”

Smiling, I said, “This place. The Sioux have always known that the Black Hills are special. Sacred. The power here not only blocks the Hunt from shifting, it keeps them from figuring out exactly where we are on the mortal plane.”

Evie translated this into modern terms. “It messes up their radar. They know we’re on the mortal plane, but can’t pinpoint where.”

“Exactly.” Grinning as James scooped Evie into his arms and kissed her soundly, I looked up at Koda, but there was no sign that he was paying any attention. His gaze was turned inward and it felt like he was a very long distance from me. An unreachable distance.

Hoping to bridge the space I sensed growing between us, I cupped his cheek with my palm. When his gaze remained unfocused, I let my hand drop. The last twenty-four hours came crashing in, flooding my eyes with tears of guilt and self-recrimination. “I’m so sorry, Koda. If I’d figured out sooner that Militis was Reiden in glamour, if I’d been faster when I had the bastard pinned—”

Koda looked away. “I have to go. There are things I must do.” His expression was remote. “Responsibilities…”

Shaking off the icy fist that seized my heart, I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “Okay. That’s fine. We can leave now if you like.”

He put a physical distance between us that matched the increasing emotional chasm. Koda, who was so good at reading me, gave no sign he registered my current agony.

Did he blame me for his brother’s death? Was that why he was leaving?

“Oh.” The word came out on a breath. Blinking past the fresh sting of tears, I swallowed hard and nodded, like what he said made any kind of sense. “I…see.”

When the ghost-dancers had almost lured him away, I’d fought with singleminded, no-holds-barred intensity. I would’ve shed blood—my own included—to keep him with me. I would’ve given my life to keep him safe.

But his choosing to leave? I was utterly defenseless.

Koda slung his bow over his shoulder and turned away. He walked a few feet before stopping. Without looking at me, he said in a low voice, “Be safe.”

My heart a black, shriveled thing inside me, I watched him go. All the things I might have said jammed up in my throat as he disappeared from view. If he’d looked back, just once…If his stride had faltered, even a little, I would’ve done…I don’t know…
something.
But he left with such certainty, such finality, my feet stayed rooted to the ground.

Evie made a pained sound in her throat and took my hand, the ache from her unintentionally tight grip a welcome counterpoint to the agony in my chest. “He’ll be back. Sephti, he loves you. Anyone can see it.”

James said softly, “She’s right. I’ve known Koda more than a century. He loves you deeply.”

Swiping at my tear-soaked face, I forced a smile I didn’t feel and made myself nod. Pretending I didn’t notice the look James and Evie exchanged, I set off for where we’d parked. Only then did I notice that the largest wolf strode by my side, his golden eyes intent on mine. When he saw me looking at him, he rumbled in his chest—a sound meant, I felt sure, to comfort.

Resting my hand on his thick-furred neck, I kept my head up all the way to where Koda had parked the truck. Its absence, combined with his leaving the dirt bike in its place, was confirmation that he’d really left…really left me. A cry burned in my throat, but I refused to let it out. Swallowing convulsively, I remembered how he hadn’t answered me last night, just before we’d left for the Black Hills, when I’d asked why he was loading the bike.

Had he intended to leave all along? Had he brought the battered bike so he wouldn’t have to stick around? Not even to give me a ride back to the cabin?

Sheer willpower kept my eyes tear-free. I’d be damned if I’d let myself break down. Not standing beside a highway. Not in front of my friends. Certainly not when I had a half-hour ride ahead of me. Besides, without a helmet, I’d need to stay focused to keep my glamour up—I really wasn’t in the mood for a trigger-happy redneck to spot me for a supernatural.

James and Evie said their goodbyes as I mounted the dirt bike. Judging by their uncharacteristic pallor, I guessed they needed to hunt and had been too polite to leave me to walk back alone. I knew with their vampire speed and stamina, they had no need for wheeled transportation. Not with the cabin and reservation so close.

Kick-starting the bike, I glanced at its gas gauge, sure that its full tank was one more bit of proof that Koda had intended all along to leave. It was typical of him that he’d make sure I had enough fuel to get ho…to the cabin. Especially since my backpack and its meager contents were lying on the floor by the bed.

On the ride back, my emotions pinwheeled between heartbreak and anger so often, I wondered if maybe they weren’t two sides of the same coin. By the time I drove up the cabin’s long lane, left the bike parked out front and opened the unlocked door, I was exhausted. Unable to face the bedroom, redolent with Koda’s scent, I grabbed a box of sugary cereal from the pantry and slouched low on the sofa.

Too spent to contemplate building a fire, I mechanically chewed and swallowed, chewed and swallowed. Not even tasting the fruit-flavored flakes, I made my mind blank. Tomorrow was soon enough to let myself think. Or maybe the day after that.

When I’d eaten enough that the coma was no longer a threat, I laid my head back and closed my eyes.

I was doing a fabulous job of not thinking.

Not thinking about Koda’s saying he loved me.

Not thinking about the sweetness of his kiss, the magic of his touch.

Not thinking about how he held me when we made love, like I was precious to him.

Not thinking about how empty the cabin felt in his absence. How dismal the passing days were. Or how bleak my outlook had become.

I stopped counting sunrises when eight had passed. After running out of cereal, I’d consumed the last of my jelly beans and had moved on to a stash of chocolate I’d found in the freezer. My sharp teeth had made easy work of the frozen block as I also resolutely didn’t think about not knowing Koda had a sweet tooth.

Evie and James came by every day, stubbornly keeping me apprised of the outside world. They didn’t seem to notice that I never responded. I couldn’t help but hear, though, which gave me an entirely new list of things I didn’t want to think about.

Like how, with “Militis” gone, the slayers were in total disarray. Launching offensive after offensive against every supernatural stronghold they could find, Rome’s finest were doing more to escalate tensions between mortals and supes than Philippe ever hoped to.

Evie told me that most humans saw supernaturals’ existence as a sign of the impending apocalypse, while a minority took the opposite view. They assigned to all supes a beneficent intent that, depending on the species, just might get the naïve idiots killed.

James said the Ancients had decided after all to announce Philippe’s capture. This had, in turn, led to a temporary truce between opposing immortal camps and peace talks were being considered. In light of the slayers’ rampant violence, both sides were feeling very communicative. Nothing like having a common enemy to forge alliances.