Killing Rachel (11 page)

Rose didn’t smile because Rachel’s voice was cracking.

‘I’m really sorry for you. Losing your friend like that.’

‘Tania just cried for days. Our housemistress, Joan, she called the doctor in twice, then Tania had to go home for a couple of weeks to get over it. It was the worst time ever.’

‘How did you hear about it?’

‘Joan came to my room and told me. She said there’d been a terrible accident and that poor Juliet was dead.’

‘An accident?’

‘They say
accident
because she didn’t leave a note so it wasn’t completely clear what her intention was. But they found her hanging from a beam in the garage so I think her intention was pretty clear.’

‘It must have been terrible.’

‘It was.’

Eventually Rose told Rachel about her mother. None of the students in school knew her background. Everyone thought that Rose had been orphaned and lived with her grandmother. It was the truth but it didn’t tell the whole story. One afternoon, after they’d been friends for some weeks, Rose started to talk about it.

‘No one knows,’ she said, after explaining about the disappearance of her mother and Brendan. ‘I mean, the staff know but I didn’t want any of the students to know so you mustn’t say anything.’

‘I wouldn’t,’ Rachel said, shaking her head.

‘They’ve been gone for three and a half years. The fourth of November. The night before Guy Fawkes night. They just vanished. No one really knows what happened to them.’

‘So they could be alive,’ Rachel said, putting her hand on Rose’s arm, rubbing it in a sympathetic way.

Rose nodded. She so much wanted them to be alive.

‘There could be a good reason why they’ve gone into hiding. Maybe their lives were threatened?’

‘But why would they just leave us? Without a word?’

‘I don’t know. How awful for you.’

‘You won’t say anything to anyone? I just don’t want it to be public knowledge. I don’t want everyone gossiping about me.’

‘’Course not. I wouldn’t. Anyway, you’re my best friend now. Who else would I tell?’

They were best friends. Rose was happy for the first time in years.

Now, in the winter, the wood was not so private. The trees had lost their leaves and Rose could see through them. Across the school grounds was the edge of the lake and the boathouse. She walked out of the wood and headed towards them. It was another place that Rose and Rachel would go and sit. Loads of girls went there on fine evenings and at weekends. Neither Rose nor Rachel ever used the boats, though – they just draped themselves on the jetty or sat in little nooks round the edge of the lake. They rolled their eyes at girls who struggled with the oars or the paddles. They preferred to use the place as a background to their conversations. Even when it was cold and the boats were put away for the winter, they and a few other hardy girls still used it. The wall that edged one side of the jetty acted as a kind of windbreak.

Rose kept to the perimeter of the grounds and took her time. She remembered the night by the boathouse when Rachel first told her about her half-sister, Megan.

Rose and Rachel had been friends for the summer term and it was only a week until they broke up for the holidays. Things had become a little frosty between them. They’d rowed because Rose had asked Rachel to stop researching her mother’s disappearance. Over the days and weeks that followed Rachel had become withdrawn and moody. She wasn’t always where she’d said she would be and Rose would find her talking to girls they hardly knew or sitting by herself staring into space. They made arrangements to meet after Rose’s violin lessons or badminton but Rachel often wouldn’t turn up. Rose was beginning to feel that she’d done something wrong.

The closeness of the holidays made Rose more anxious. They wouldn’t see each other for ages. In just over a week she would go to her grandmother’s house for the summer. Rachel was going to France with her father and Melanie for two weeks and then away with her mother for the rest. She would be able to contact her by email but still it was a long break.

Rose wondered if Rachel wanted to break up their friendship. Now that Rose no longer wanted to talk about her
tragic past
she thought that Rachel might be bored with her.

It was past nine o’clock in the evening and one of the
Harry Potter
films was being shown in the main hall and girls from all houses were watching. Rose couldn’t see Rachel anywhere and she slipped away from the film to find her. After looking in the common room and going back to Rachel’s room and finding it empty, she stood by the window and saw a couple of girls standing near the boathouse. One of them was Tania Miller, Rachel’s old friend from Brontë House. Rose went down the stairs and headed for the lake. On the way there she saw Tania was walking towards her.

The girl had long brown hair which had a perfect middle parting and hung down each side of her face. It shone as if someone had actually polished it. Tonight she had plaited a strand of it and pulled it back with a grip.

‘You looking for Rachel?’ Tania said. ‘She’s round the back.’

Rose watched Tania walk away. She wondered what Rachel was doing with her. They hadn’t spent any time together that she’d been aware of, not since Rachel joined Eliot House. She walked round the boathouse to the side that was hidden from the main building. Rachel was sitting, leaning against the wall, with a cigarette in her hand. Rose was surprised. Rachel had said that she’d stopped smoking months before.

‘Where’ve you been? I’ve been looking for you.’

‘Here.’

‘You didn’t say you were coming here. How come Tania Miller was here?’

‘What is this? The third degree? Do I have to ask your permission to speak to Tania?’

‘No, I didn’t mean that.’

‘Well, what then?’

‘I just wondered where you were. That’s all.’

‘Sit down,’ Rachel said, patting the grass beside her.

‘How come you’re smoking?’

‘I’ve got a lot on my mind at the moment.’

‘What?’

It suddenly dawned on Rose that maybe Rachel was worried about the holidays. She would have to spend time with her mum’s new boyfriend. It was one thing avoiding him now and then but three weeks was a long time for her to keep her bedroom door locked. Maybe this was the very thing that had been making Rachel feel a bit off. The closer they’d got to the holidays the more moody she had become. She was about to say it when Rachel said something that shocked her.

‘My half-sister’s got leukaemia.’

‘What?’

‘Melanie’s daughter, Megan. She’s got leukaemia. She’s been having all this treatment and her hair has fallen out. She’s been really sick and . . .’

‘I didn’t know you had a half-sister. You never said!’

‘Yeah, well, it’s a painful thing to talk about.’

‘I’m so sorry!’

‘She’s not going to die or anything. There’s loads of treatments they can use, drugs and stuff.’

Rachel stubbed her cigarette out on the ground. Rose moved a bit closer to her. She put her arm around Rachel’s shoulder.

‘What a terrible thing. How old is she?’

‘Six, nearly seven. Seven in September.’

‘Poor little mite.’

‘Yeah, well. It’s just one of those things and nothing I can do or say will change it.’

‘You should have told me.’

Rachel shrugged. They sat for a while then Rachel stood up, brushing the grass off her legs. She took a last puff of the cigarette and then chucked it into the lake.

‘Let’s catch the end of
Harry Potter
,’ she said. ‘It’ll take my mind off . . .’

‘Yeah, let’s.’

Five minutes later they slipped into the back of the hall and watched the last half hour of the film. From time to time Rose turned and looked at Rachel’s profile. Her face showed no emotion. She wondered how it felt to know her half-sister was so ill. Why hadn’t she told her? Was it that Rose was so full of her own problems that Rachel had had no space to unload her worries about her little sister?

A few days later Rose went on a last-minute shopping trip to Holt with some other girls. While she was there she got a text from Rachel.
Had to go home a couple of days early. No time to say goodbye. See you in September XXX Rachel.

She made a
tsk
sound. Getting back to school she ran up to Eliot House and found Rachel’s room quiet. Most of her stuff was still there but some things had gone. Her bedside table where she kept her make-up, phone, iPod and other personal stuff was clear. Rose was perplexed. In her bag she had a present that she had bought for Rachel. The news about her half-sister had made Rose realise that Rachel was going home to an unhappy situation and she wanted to cheer her up. She’d bought her a silver locket on a chain. She’d found it in an antique shop in Holt. It had cost twenty pounds and was light and pretty. Rose was sure that Rachel would like it but now she had gone and Rose hadn’t had a chance to give it to her. She wondered what had happened. Most likely her dad or mum had turned up unannounced and said that Rachel should come now. No doubt they had had to pay extra for Rachel’s stuff to be packed by the household staff and sent on at the end of term.

Later, in the refectory, when she’d finished eating, she thought of something. Had Rachel gone home early because of Megan? Had Megan’s condition worsened? Was it a family emergency?

It was the only thing that explained her sudden departure.

Just then Tania Miller walked past and caught her eye.

‘Tania,’ she called.

Tania turned round. She hooked her hair behind her ears and stepped across to Rose’s table.

‘Did you know that Rachel’s gone home early?’

Tania shrugged. ‘News to me.’

‘She has. I think it might be because of her half-sister, Megan. Did she mention her to you?’

‘What? Her half-sister?’ Tania’s face broke into a grin.

‘I thought, maybe, she’d gone because the illness had got worse.’

Tania was shaking her head, her face cracked with an unpleasant smile. She pulled a chair out and sat down.

‘Rose, isn’t it?’ she said, pointing a finger at her.

Rose nodded.

‘Rachel doesn’t have a half-sister.’

‘She told me . . .’

‘You can’t always believe what Rachel says. She makes some things up.’

A call came from across the hall. Tania looked round and waved at someone.

‘Look, Rachel’s all right but just don’t believe everything she says,’ she said and got up and walked away.

Rose felt her face flaming. She shoved her hand in her pocket to get her phone out and felt the paper bag there. She pulled it out. Inside was the locket that she had bought for Rachel. The paper was all screwed up and she tried to smooth it out with the side of her hand. She glanced across at Tania Miller, who was standing talking to a group of girls. One of them looked over in her direction and she wondered whether Tania was telling them about how Rachel had lied to her new friend.

Rose stood up, her throat burning, as she walked back to her room. She went in and sat on her bed. She let the bag with the locket drop on to her duvet.
You can’t always believe what Rachel says.
Was there any way she could have misunderstood Rachel? There was not. She knew what Rachel had told her, she could remember the words clearly.
My half-sister has leukaemia
.

Why did she say that?

Why?

Rose lay down. There was a feeling of hurt turning in her chest. Rachel had lied to her, deliberately. She misled her, made her make a fool of herself in front of Tania Miller. Not just that, but she elicited sympathy from Rose for something that didn’t exist. Rose, who had a weight of sorrow of her own, had taken time to
feel
something for Rachel.

And it was all a lie.

Rose stood up, too angry to stay where she was. She walked up and down her room, her throat tight with temper. It was over. Her friendship with Rachel Bliss was over.

She would have nothing more to do with her.

Rose arrived at the boathouse. She walked around it until she got to the jetty. It stretched out into the water like a long finger. She walked along it, her footsteps sounding on the wood as she went. It always had a deserted look in the winter months; no boats nestled up beside it; only a handful of girls in hats and scarves and gloves, making a getaway from the central heating and busyness of the buildings. She got to the end of the jetty and stood still for a moment, staring down into the water. It was rippled with a breeze, the grasses at the edge all blowing in one direction.

Rachel’s body had been found around here. One of the gardeners got in and tried to pull her out but her clothes were saturated. He needed help to pull her free of the water. A picture came into her head. Two men struggling with the inert body, water running from it, soaked fabric heavy on the wood, a dead weight.