Keep it Secret (14 page)

“You feel so good against
me.” His voice was low, forcing me to bite down on my bottom lip.
The hand that was on my stomach was no longer there, but on my
thigh inching up little by little. Presently, I couldn't care less
who was watching. The Pope could be in front of us and I would give
a flying fuck. All I cared was where his fingers were going. My
legs began to shake, as his touch got closer to my ache. Then my
ass vibrated—which felt nice but odd that his thigh was vibrating.
Abruptly he pulled away from me, stepping back. I look to face him
he was glaring down at the vibrating culprit. He shook his head
before closing his eyes and taking in a heavy breath. Before I
could ask him whether he wanted to leave, he walked away, heading
towards the front door.

I’m not an idiot I knew who
texted him and why he was suddenly so cold. I let it go too far.
This was all on me, not him. I was torn whether or not to go after
him, then I realized he wasn’t in the best of neighborhoods and I
was his ride. I had no other option, but to go after him. I took
off my heels in an attempt to run faster than I would with them on,
by the time I reached him he was already at the corner of the
street.

“Gabriel! Stop!” He didn’t
“Damn it. Gabriel, stop! Are you going to make me chase
you?”

He stopped.
Thank you baby Jesus.

“If you wanted to leave you
could have just said so. No use in being a fucking drama queen.” I
walked past him towards the car. Gabriel yanked my wrist pulling me
into his chest.

“Have I ever told you how
exasperating you are?”

“I think you might have
mentioned it. Come on, let me take you home before you get
kidnapped for ransom.” He laughed letting go of me. We drove in
silence once again this night was a bust I should have known better
than to invite Gabriel to come with me. It was still pretty early
maybe I could drop him off and find someone else to fill my night
with. Or better yet go home alone and drink myself to sleep. Along
the way, Gabriel directed me to an upscale luxury condo building I
assumed was his home.

“Would you like to come in?
There’s no one home and I know there’s no one home at your house.
Plus it’s still pretty early and I sort of ruined your night.” It
was like he read my mind.

I hesitated. “Okay, just for a
little while.” I could do this as long as he didn’t try anything, I
could keep myself in check. Gabriel gave me a quick tour of his
condo it was unusually large for a three-bedroom two-bath
apartment. The condo was very modern with an open floor plan. The
kitchen, dining room and living room was visible as soon as you
stepped inside, the back of the condo had floor to ceiling windows
that looked out into the city. It was beautiful especially at this
time of night. Gabriel ushered me past the living room into a small
hallway that only contained one door, his bedroom. My throat went
dry as I tried to swallow.
You can do
this, Ava
. Stepping into his room, I
wasn't surprised to see how clean and organized it was or how it
smelled like him. The California king size bed laid in the middle
of the room. A dark cherry wood desk stood on the opposite wall
from the door it was a twenty-seven inch iMac. On the wall, across
from the desk was a massive bookshelf filled with books and CD
cases.

“You like to read?” I said
pointing at the bookshelf, setting my heels on the
floor.

“I like to learn.” He
replied. “Are you thirsty? Water? Juice?”

“Water is fine, thanks.” I
said, while he walked to his desk bending down to open a mini
fridge I hadn’t seen until now. Gabriel handed me a bottle of
water.

“Take a seat.” He pointed to
the bed as he stepped back to the desk, sitting on the office
chair. I sat on his bed propping some pillows against my back,
making myself at home I extend my legs. Gabriel’s eyes took their
time soaking in my legs, as he realized what he was doing Gabriel
quickly looked down clearing his throat.

“You make it so obvious.” I
chuckled. Gabriel smiled resting his chin on his chest.

“I’m sorry, it’s really not
to watch you. Especially, since you’re on my bed.” He trailed off.
Oh, good God. I was trying to smile and act like his words or
presence didn’t affect me.

“Well, that was blunt and
honest. I appreciate honesty.” I replied. Mmmaybe being honest with
each other wasn’t the best idea.

“Oh, are we not being
completely honest with each other? I thought we were
friends
isn’t that
what
friends
do?”
He said taking a sip of his water. Sweet Baby Jesus, those lips
were tattooed on my body and that tongue marked places that felt
cold without his touch—I have to change the subject. Jumping off
the bed I walked to his bookshelf. There was an assortment of books
on everything from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer to the Twilight
Saga…yeah, you heard right. Twilight!

“Twilight? Seriously?” I
asked taking the book out of its place.

“What? I was curious.” He
said watching my every move; placing the book back I wandered
towards his music compilation it was as eclectic as his book
collection.

“You seem to have a lot of
rap music. I didn’t peg you for a Hip Hop fan.” I said.

“What can, I say I like good
music.” He set his bottle on the floor and walked over to
me.

“You call this good music?”
I looked at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with rap
music?”

“Nothing’s wrong with rap
music, but you think Two Chains makes good music? I mean if you
want to talk about good music, let’s really talk about good music,
for instance Tupac made good music, no I’m sorry, great music so
did B.I.G, Jay-Z, Eminem, Common, Dr. Dre, Nas.” I continued my
rant picking up the latest Drake album. “But Drake and Two Chains?
Come on Gabriel, you lost some major points.”

Gabriel smiled. “So what
sort of music should I be listening to oh wise one?” He rubbed his
chin awaiting my answer.

“Start with listening to
rocks greatest.”

“Like?”

“Like, Nirvana, Metallica,
The Beatles, Rolling Stone, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and the
greatest of them all Queen.”

“Queen? As in, ‘we are the
champions’ Queen?” He looked at me like I had just lost my
mind.

“If that’s the only song you
know of them then, you’re really missing out. You my friend have no
taste in
real
music.” I said twirling around and strutting back to his bed.
He laughed, but then his face grew serious.

“Ava?” He asked.

“Hmm?” I looked up at his
face as he sat down next to me. His expression frightened me a
little.

“What happened out on the
track?” He said studying my eyes. I swear I could see my pain
reflecting his gorgeous baby blue pools. In a matter of a week,
this guy had unraveled all my defense mechanisms without even
trying. I could let him in to my dark world but then how fair would
that be? Giving away my baggage was something I was never going to
do especially for someone so pure and divine like Gabriel. I turned
away, touching the cross around my neck counting silently to five.
Before looking back at him, I cracked my neck putting my emotions
into check.

“It’s called having a bad
day, Blue.” I said detached.

“Don't do that. Don’t get
all icy with me.” He pleaded, his eyebrows pinched
together.

Icy? I’ll show him icy. I
climbed on top of him straddling his legs. My skirt rose barely
covering my crotch but my ass was in clear view. Gabriel took a
sharp breath.

“Oh, Blue, I’m far from icy
when it comes to you. Actually, I’m pretty damn warm right now, you
want to feel?” I whispered against his lips. His breath started to
labor I could see in his eyes as the self-control began to fade
away. No man in his right mind would reject me. And this wasn't me
being conceded it was just a matter of fact. Gabriel licked his
lips as I slowly slid my nose against his.

“Gabriel?” I
moaned.

“Yeah?” He responded
weakly.

“Fuck me.”

“Oh, God.” He groaned with
pleasure, his mouth crashed into mind. We kissed with passion and
anger. It was delicious. His hands explored my body, cupping,
sucking, squeezing and biting. At this point, Vanessa was far, far
from my thoughts all I could think about was his touch and mouth on
mine. I mean they weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend so it
wasn’t considered cheating, right?

The night was full of endless
pleasure and sinful torture. My body trembled with painful bliss as
it endured emotions I never thought were feasible to feel. There
was no way I wanted to let him go.
At that
point
, my lowest point the intent was to
ensure that he forget about my cousin. I wanted him to think of me
any time he kissed her or any girl for that matter.

Don’t say I didn't warn you.
I’m a bad person this is who I am. Why was I trying to change
that?

Vanessa

The pink cotton comforter
felt one hundred pounds heavier than it normally did. It stuck to
my sweaty limbs, which made me even hotter. I hated nights like
these where I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. The full moon
shone through my window creating a silver blanket of light, I
stared at it hoping to get exhaustingly bored and fall asleep, but
that didn’t work either. The past four hours I spent tossing and
turning and for the life of me I couldn't turn off my brain. After
too many attempts to sleep I kicked off the comforter until it hit
the floor, jumping off my bed I headed towards the kitchen for some
warm milk praying that would do the trick. Entering the kitchen I
noticed a silhouette sitting on the edge of the island hunched over
in the darkness. I cleared my throat hoping whoever it was would
turn their head. I wasn't sure who it was from here, but I knew for
sure it wasn't Mother she always took a sleeping aid that knocked
her out cold. The shadow jumped to attention cocking her head
before speaking. By now, I knew who it was the smell of wild
flowers gave her away.

“Hey.” Ava said softly. “Why
are you up so late?”

“I couldn't fall asleep it’s
so hot in my room, what about you?” Just as my eyes adapted to the
darkness I noticed a carton of ice cream in front of
Ava.

“Ice cream.” She replied. I
smiled sitting across from her I crossed my legs she took a scoop
from the container and handed it to me. I happily
accepted.

“Mmm Rocky Road.” I said as
the cold sweetness hit my taste buds. I finished what was on the
spoon then handed it back to her. “So, what’s up?” I
asked.

“Hmm? Nothing, why do you
ask?”

“Ava, you're eating ice
cream. In this family, we only eat ice cream when we need to be
cheered up.” Ava looked down at the carton, swirled the spoon
around cautious not to collect too much ice cream. I was burning a
hole in her head. That’s how hard I was staring at her. Having Ava
talk about her feelings was like pulling teeth.

“Ava.” I pushed.

“Are you happy, Van?” All
right, wasn't expecting that.

“I guess, I say that I’m
pretty lucky to have parents that have money. I never have to worry
about that, I’m healthy, and I do well in school…”

“Yeah. I guess that was a
stupid question. Of course, you're happy who wouldn't want to live
a day in the perfect life of Vanessa Saint John?” The sarcasm
dripped heavily from her mouth she didn’t even make efforts to
disguise it.

“Screw you, Ava. You think
because my problems aren't as deep as yours that constitutes as
having a perfect life? Try having an overbearing controlling mother
who never let’s you do anything you want. Try growing up without a
mind of your own or having a father that is emotionally absent only
focusing on his work, or having a brother who would rather hang out
with his friends than spend some time with his family. My life
looks perfect and pristine on paper because that’s how my parents
made it out to be. In reality it’s far from it.” I snatched the
spoon from her eating what she had collected.

“All that and you're still a
good girl. So, your parents haven't fucked you up so
severely.”

I laughed because she had no
idea what she was just talking about.

“You think doing the right
thing all the time is easy? It’s harder than you think. I don't
have the liberty to get up and say screw the world because I have
sucky parents. That’s just an excuse for bad behavior.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m
using my father’s death as an excuse for my behavior?”

Yes. “No, I thought we were
talking about me here. I’m not attempting to imply anything.” My
bravery only took me so far when it came to Ava. There’s a line I
would never cross her and that was it.

“Listen, all I’m saying is
my life isn't perfect. No one’s is. We all have to fight our own
demons some are smaller than others, but they’re still demons just
the same.” I handed the spoon back. Ava grabbed it but instead of
taking more ice cream out she set it down on the marble counter
top.