Katie's Journey to Love (27 page)

“I would love that,” she said.

Ben slowed Longstreet and turned down a little dirt road. The trees grew tight along the path, but they soon opened up just like he remembered. Everywhere spring was in full force, with flowers blooming among the undergrowth and the rest of the vegetation bursting with life. Ben pulled Longstreet to a stop in front of an open meadow and let the reins hang on the dashboard. “I
should have taken you into Dover to the Dairy Queen. At least we'd have ice cream.”

Katie smiled at him. “This is better than ice cream.”

Her cheeks glowed in the falling dusk, and he traced them with his fingers.

She didn't pull back, but trembled under his touch.

He took her chin in his hand, and bent his head toward her lips. She came to meet him, the softness of her lips moving under his.

Moments later he let go and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Katie melted into his side, tighter than she ever had before.

“I love you, Katie Raber,” he said, his voice shaking. Never had a girl affected him quite like Katie. How could he risk losing her by revealing his past? He'd broken all ties with Rogge and that awful drug dealing. She need never know.

Katie looked up at him. “You know I love you, Ben. Too much, I think.”

They watched the birds and animals move about for a while until the darkness was too much. Finally Ben sighed. “Well, I think I'd better take you home.”

“
Yah
, I think you should,” she said.

They both sat up straighter, and Ben reached out and took up the reins. Katie snuggled under his arm. When they reached the road, Ben let Longstreet meander this time. He was in no hurry to end this night.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Katie stood by the window of her bedroom and gazed out over the open fields. The full moon had risen in the sky some hours ago, and it hung well above the tree line but cast light shadows on the ground. It had been several days now since Ben had dropped her off after their buggy ride to that meadow. Even Mabel's sour face when Katie had walked into the house that night hadn't dampened her joy. Ben had kissed her! She kept repeating that to herself. And he had
wanted
to kiss her just like she had wanted to kiss him. How could that be? A boy like Ben Stoll!

Katie wrapped her arms around herself, catching sight of the moon around the corner of the house as it crept higher in the sky. She hadn't told
Mamm
yet about Ben's kiss. Maybe a person wasn't supposed to tell such things to anyone—even her
mamm
. It didn't seem right in a way. That moment their lips met seemed almost holy. The meadow had lain open in front of them, bursting with new life. The trees and
Da Hah
had been their only witnesses. Well, Longstreet had been there, but he hadn't cared one way or the other. He was just glad for a few minutes of rest.

How wrong
Mamm
had been about Ben all those months ago. In those dark days before Jesse came calling,
Mamm
had said Ben would turn out like her first love had—rejecting her, ignoring her, marrying someone else. But Ben wasn't like that. Ben might even ask her to be his
frau
someday. And then she could kiss him every day.

A shadow running across the lawn caught Katie's attention, jerking her thoughts away from Ben. Katie's eyes followed the figure as it neared the barn door and disappeared inside. That had to be Mabel. Was she meeting Mose again? How would Mabel dare to do that? Jesse had strongly warned her about ever sneaking out to be with Mose again.

Perhaps it wasn't Mabel? Maybe Carolyn had decided to run outside for a second? But the form Katie saw had been Mabel's size. Should Katie do something about this? What could she do? Mabel had a mind of her own, and telling someone what she'd just seen might bring about a great
kufuffle
. Besides, she didn't really know what Mabel was doing.

Katie moved away from the window. If Mabel was up to something again, it wouldn't remain a secret for long. Not with Jesse and Mabel's brothers being on the lookout for this very thing. Should she try to stop Mabel again? Perhaps reach her before Mose showed up? She decided it didn't hurt to try again to talk Mabel out of this foolishness. Katie slipped down the stairs. She smiled at Jesse and
Mamm
, who looked up from where they were sitting in the living room. “I'm going outside,” she said.

Jesse nodded. “It's a nice night out. I noticed the full moon was out a few minutes ago.”

“
Yah
, it is. A nice night for a short walk.”

Mabel was acting quite recklessly, Katie thought as she headed through the washroom door. Meeting like this with Mose before
anyone had gone to bed was so risky. And with the full moon in the sky to reveal so much. Was Mabel
trying
to get caught?

Katie pulled open the barn door. Like the washroom door, it gave off a loud squawk. There was no chance of approaching Mabel and Mose's hiding place without them knowing she was coming. That was just as well. She didn't wish to surprise the couple. This way Mose might have time to safely flee before she arrived.

A dim shaft of light stole out from under the door ahead of Katie. Why had Mabel been so careless and allowed the light to show? Arriving at the feed door, she knocked. There was silence at first, and then she heard a muffled sob. Katie, not sure of what to do, pushed open the door.

In front of her a crying Mabel sat on a feed bag, a kerosene lamp burning beside her. “What do you want? Can't you see I want to be left alone?” she demanded through her tears.

“Is Mose gone already?” Katie looked around.

“He was never here, stupid. Do you think he'd come back after getting caught once? Mose is not an idiot. I've lost him forever.” Mabel burst into tears again.

Katie sat down on the feed bag beside Mabel. When Mabel didn't object, Katie was surprised. She'd never seen Mabel quite like this. The poor girl was brokenhearted underneath all that anger and hostility.

“I'm so sorry,” Katie said. “I really am. I wish you could continue seeing Mose, although I don't know what kind of boy he really is.”

“Well, he's not high and mighty like that Ben of yours. But then the two of you fit each other perfectly.”

“You know that's not true,” Katie said before she thought to keep silent. “I'm not near
gut
enough for Ben.”

Mabel smirked through her tears. “You seem to think you're
gut
enough to mess up my life. That takes somebody pretty full of herself.”

Katie remained silent.

Mabel continued. “And you're going to Europe. What kind of Amish girl takes off and does that? Not any that I know. We all stay home and prepare for our future lives with husbands and children. We don't go cavorting around in the Old Land.”

Katie wanted to say something, but what could she offer? A sarcastic retort? Hardly. The poor girl was obviously crushed already. Katie thought for a moment that maybe Mabel was right, perhaps she was full of herself. Even thinking she could help Mabel might be evidence of that.

“You see my point, don't you?” Mabel was glaring now. “You're quite full of yourself. You think badly about Mose and me for kissing, but in the meantime Ben and you are smooching all over each other. I'm right, aren't I? You and Ben do kiss just like Mose and I do.”

Each word was cutting like a knife, and Katie's roiling emotions wanted to lash back at Mabel, but at the same time she wanted to put an arm around her shoulders and comfort her.

“I wish you and your
mamm
would go away,” Mabel continued, waving her hand through the air. “Just disappear and leave us alone.”

“Maybe I should go back in the house.” Katie stood up. “I'm sorry I've created trouble in your life, Mabel. But I don't know what else I can do. I have to be me, and the fact is Ben and I love each other. And,
yah
, we did kiss the other night—for the first time. And it was
wunderbah
. If that's what you experienced with Mose, then I hope your relationship can continue someday.”

Mabel was about to speak when the door burst open and Jesse appeared.

“Was Mose out here?” he demanded.

The accusation sent Mabel into fresh sobs.

“
Nee
,” Katie offered. “I saw Mabel leave the house and followed her. It's just the two of us.”

Jesse looked relieved. “If Mose isn't here, why are you out here, Mabel?”

“I needed a place by myself so I could sob my heart out,” Mabel wailed.

A troubled look crossed Jesse's face, and he sat down on the feed bag next to his daughter. “I love you, Mabel,” he said. “I just want what's best for you.”

Mabel looked at him with tear-stained face. “Then why can't I see Mose?”

“Because he's not the right man for you. He's not
gut
enough.” Jesse gathered Mabel in his arms, and she sobbed against his chest. Katie left them, closing the door and feeling her way across the dark barn. It was
gut
that Jesse was spending time with Mabel. Perhaps they could find healing for their ruffled relationship. As she stepped outside the barn, the moonlight guided Katie across the lawn and up the porch. The swing squeaked in the slight breeze, and Katie glanced toward it before entering the house. Someday she would have enough nerve to ask Ben to sit on the swing with her. Sometime after Mabel had gotten over her pain and perhaps was dating another boy. Every girl ought to sit on a front porch swing with the man she loved, Katie thought. Just like
Mamm
had with Jesse.

“What's going on out there?”
Mamm
asked when Katie walked in.

“Mabel's mourning her loss of Mose, and Jesse's comforting her. I tried, but I only made things worse.”

Mamm
looked relieved. “No Mose then?”

Katie shook her head. “I think I'll go to bed.”

“How are you and Ben getting along?”
Mamm
asked.

The words burst out before she could stop them. “He kissed me,
Mamm
! For the first time. And it was so
wunderbah
.”

Mamm
smiled a little. “I'm glad to hear it's going well. Still, I wish you wouldn't rush things.”

Katie hesitated. “Believe me,
Mamm
. Ben isn't who you think he is.”

Mamm
didn't say anything for a moment. “I hope everything turns out okay for you, Katie. And if it doesn't, remember
Da Hah
will always see you through. Just be very careful of giving your heart away.”

“You still don't trust Ben?”

Mamm
shrugged. “I've decided to leave my feelings about Ben up to
Da Hah
. Ben seems like a nice enough boy. I'm just waiting, watching, and praying for you.”

Katie went over and gave
Mamm
a big hug. “I'm so scared one minute, and so happy the next. Well, mostly happy. Do you think I'm biting off too much with this trip?”

“
Nee
, that I have no doubts about,”
Mamm
assured her. “Nothing but
gut
can come out of a trip to the land of our faith. Be sure to see and learn as much as you can so you can tell us about it all when you come back.”

“The Mennonite girls are going to take cameras. Will you look at their pictures?”

Mamm
shook her head. “No pictures, Katie. Just remember in your mind or write out what you see. That's the way of our people. From your words will come images much greater than from the
Englisha
man's camera. Our forefathers didn't need those things to believe.”

Katie hung her head. “I'm sorry I brought it up,
Mamm
. I won't be bringing home any pictures then. Ben also wants me to tell him what I see and hear. So now I have two people to write for and remember.”

“You will have many more than two people,”
Mamm
said. “I'm expecting a lot of our women will wish to hear about what you're going to see. Perhaps you can share at the women's sewing sometime.”

“At the sewing?” Katie repeated. That was too much to comprehend. Not that long ago she'd been a nobody, and now
Mamm
was talking of her sharing with the women at the sewing. Ruth Troyer and Mabel would melt her with their glares. It was a wonder that
Mamm
had even started going to the sewings. And somehow the women were accepting her, to hear
Mamm
tell it.

Mamm
must have noticed her discomfort. “We'll deal with that when the time comes, Katie. Right now we take each day as it comes up. You'll do okay.”

Katie nodded and slipped upstairs. A light shone briefly from the barn door when she peeked out the window, then it blinked out. Two forms came across the lawn, walking close together. Jesse must have succeeded in comforting his daughter, just as
Mamm
had given her encouragement.