Authors: Anchee Min
My eyes crawled like snails over the text, but I pushed on, checking with the English-Chinese dictionary every five words.
“Now no comfort avails anymore; longing transcends a world after death, even with gods; existence is negated along with its glittering reflection in the gods or in an immortal beyond. Conscious of the truth he had once seen, man now sees everywhere only the horror or absurdity of existence; now he understands what is symbolic in Ophelia’s fate; now he understands the wisdom of the sylvan god, Silenu: he is nauseated . . .” I checked the dictionary. I was nauseating for sleep. Before I could write down the translation, the pen dropped from my hand, and down my head fell.
* * *
I
was in a deep sleep when Little Bird woke me. She spoke in a frightened voice. Shaking my bed, she said, “The couple has been caught! Their reputation is ruined!”
“What? What is it?” I opened my eyes in the dark.
“They are locked in her room together, no way out. Jasmine is getting the guards to make an on-the-spot arrest.”
“What? What couple?” I saw dawn just beginning to break. I wondered whether Little Bird was having a nightmare.
“Katherine and Jim—they were caught in bed.” Little Bird was breathing hard.
“How do you know about this?”
“I got up to pee and heard a noise. I saw Jasmine instructing the guards to block the door.”
I snapped out of sleep. I said to Little Bird, “Turn on the light.”
“No!” Little Bird went to cover the light switch. “I am scared.” Her voice was trembling. “I don’t want to get involved.”
“All right,” I said. “I’m going to check things out for myself.”
“If you go, please don’t let anyone know that I told you.”
I promised her.
Little Bird warned me not to get involved. I told her that it was too late for me not to get involved. I saw the conspiracy; the Party wanted to get Katherine.
“I cannot hear you.” Little Bird covered her ears with her hands.
* * *
M
y footsteps on the staircase. There was no light in the hallway. I stumbled toward Katherine’s room.
I heard whispers behind every door I passed. Flashlights were switched on. When I reached Katherine’s room at the end of the hall, I saw all the lights focused on the doorknob.
Jasmine grasped the doorknob. There were two big security guards behind her with nightsticks in their hands.
Jim’s wife, the short, heavy woman, was standing next to Jasmine, sobbing. She had just arrived. She was wearing a jacket buttoned in all the wrong places.
People began to gather in front of the door. They watched silently. With her hand on the knob, Jasmine began to yell: “You evil couple! You are dreaming if you think you can get away from the people’s trial! All ways out are blocked. Raise your hands and surrender!”
There was a cry from the room.
Jasmine directed the security guards to get ready, and with a single force, they pushed the door open.
I jumped up behind the crowd to see.
The room seemed dead in the light of dawn. There was a figure lying on the bed to the left. It was Katherine. She seemed to be still asleep. With all the flashlights shining on her face, she tried to open her eyes. She tried to make her body cooperate with her will. Finally she made herself sit up. “What’s going on?” she murmured.
“Good performance,” said Jasmine.
“What . . . what are you talking about?” asked Katherine.
“Where is the adulterer?” Jasmine shouted.
“What adulterer? What is this?” Katherine rubbed her eyes.
“Get him!” Jasmine ordered two security guards to search the room. They went out to the balcony. There was the sound of wrestling, struggling, a slipper flew out. A few seconds later Jim was tied with ropes and dragged out. He looked like a drawn dog. He was in blue-striped pajamas and wore one slipper. The other slipper was in Jasmine’s hand. When Jim saw his wife, he fell to his knees.
“Secure the evidence,” Jasmine ordered.
The hallway was filled with people.
Katherine fell back against her pillow and turned over to sleep as if what was going on had nothing to do with her.
Jasmine instructed the security guards to get Katherine up.
Katherine said she had an intense headache and refused to leave her bed.
Jim’s wife began to wail loudly.
The crowd was gossiping about what the
yang-ren
must have done to get Jim in bed with her.
Jasmine walked over to Lion Head, whose face was expressionless.
“What happened?” someone called out.
Jasmine began her report. “I saw a shadow duck into Katherine’s room when I got up to use the rest room. It was about five o’clock in the morning. I immediately thought, Could someone be trying to rape Katherine? I must do something to stop it. I followed the shadowy figure. When he stopped at Katherine’s door, I recognized that it was Jim. What was he doing here? At first I thought he might have come to give Katherine some aspirin to wake her from the alcohol. But I was shocked when I saw that he didn’t switch on the light after he was in the room. Comrades, Jim did not switch on the light. What was he doing in the dark? What could he be doing? Or should I say, what could
they
be doing? I realized at that moment that a crime was being committed. Jim has betrayed his wife and our Chinese morality.”
The crowd listened in concentration. Jasmine continued: “Jim has been a good comrade all his life until now. Never once had he cheated on his wife. But Katherine, a corrupt character, seduced him, lured him, and turned a good Chinese man into an adulterer. For this I felt deeply sorry for Jim. I felt an obligation to save our
comrade from sliding too far. I decided to call the security guards and catch them in the act. It cannot be more obvious that Jim was used.”
The crowd buzzed. They began to talk about how selfish Katherine was. Jasmine looked excited. The public focus was where she wanted it. Lion Head walked away in silence. Jasmine waited for the crowd to heat up.
Her eyes searched the crowd. When finally they landed on me, she smiled. Such a vicious smile. I thought I would shoot her if I had a gun. But I tried not to show my disgust. I realized that punishing Katherine was her way of killing a hen to shock the monkeys. She was warning the rest of us not to step on her toes. Her misery allowed no happiness.
In this country, accusing someone of a “private life corruption” was the most effective way to denounce an enemy. “Private life” was a gray area—no facts need be stated. Many such arrests, punishments, and deaths took place during the Cultural Revolution, and even after Mao died, still it was the same. People hadn’t changed—would they ever?
I was too selfish to let Katherine be destroyed. Katherine was no longer living her own life. She was living mine too.
My feet were about to step forward. Little Bird’s voice was shouting in the back of my head, “Don’t get involved!” But I was beyond self-control. I stepped out of the crowd, climbed to the top of the stairs. Raising my voice, I said, “Jasmine, how do you know it was Katherine who seduced Jim? Why not the other way around? How can you even prove that they had physical contact? How do you know it was not just your imagination?”
Jim was in shock. I looked at him and said, “Jim, you can tell us what happened, can’t you?”
“But how can I make the Party believe me? Nobody will, nobody . . .”
He shook his head and began sobbing. “How can I explain myself?”
“Give us the chance to believe you,” I said.
“Who are you to speak like this?” Jasmine yelled at me.
“In the name of the Workers’ Union, I ask that we let Jim speak,” I replied calmly.
Jim sobbed like a woman. “I didn’t do anything with the foreign devil,” he said.
The crowd whistled in disbelief. Jasmine jumped on him. “Then explain—why did you go to Katherine’s room? Furthermore, why did you not turn on the light? Why? Confess!” She was looking at me as she spoke.
Jim turned to me as if asking whether he should go on.
I nodded at him in encouragement.
Jim said in a small voice: “She . . . she was so drunk at the party last night, I wanted to bring her some medicine to keep her from vomiting. I got some pills from Jasmine and I told her that I was going to take some and give the rest to Katherine. I didn’t go last night because I was drunk myself until I woke up this morning. I went to her room to give . . . to give the medicine. I can’t explain why . . . I did not turn on the light. I don’t know . . . it felt good being in the dark and . . . and . . .”
“And what?!” shouted Jasmine.
Jim choked. His shame was dreadful.
I said, “We are human. Anybody can have a weak moment.”
Jasmine gave me a make-your-dog-stop-farting look.
She had no effect on me. I said to Jim, “Go on please. We should not be ashamed of the truth.”
“And . . . and . . . to be near her . . . just near her.” Jim spit out the words in exhaustion.
“Be near who?” Jasmine was furious.
Jim was too scared to repeat himself.
I repeated it for him. “To be near Katherine. Is that right, Jim? Near Katherine?”
Jim nodded and broke down crying.
“The man felt good being in the dark, near Katherine,” I continued. “He must have been momentarily spellbound. He must not have known what he was doing. He did not turn on the light, because he felt good staying in the dark. Logic betrayed him. His soul ran ahead of him. He was a shell, his heart had fled . . . What’s so incomprehensible about that?”
The crowd stared at Jim with their mouths half-open. Their eyes showed pity. Who would not feel good being in the dark near a goddess?
“But you are a married man,” Jasmine said. “According to Chinese law, adultery is a crime no matter what the circumstances.”
“I swear I did not do that,” Jim begged. “Besides, it was impossible. She was drunk. Go and take a look at her. Even if I meant to do it, she was in no condition herself.”
Jasmine laughed coldly. “How are we to know whether you are telling the truth? The rule is, if you can’t prove it, we can only assume. The fact is, I caught you in her room.” She raised Jim’s slipper in the air. “This is the proof. And everyone here is a witness.”
* * *
J
im was escorted to Mr. Han’s office to be interrogated. Jasmine’s version of the event was accepted as truth. Katherine was now a man stealer, a corrupt bourgeois character. She was ruined in Chinese eyes.
I stood before the crowd. “I believe that Katherine didn’t do anything with Jim.” Turning to Jasmine, I said, “This is not fair to the foreign devil. She’s drunk. She cannot defend herself.”
“So what are you going to do? Speak for her and prove her innocent?” Jasmine laughed.
“We must have evidence to prove she is guilty,” I insisted.
“I have the evidence.” Jasmine said each word emphatically.
“No. I’m talking about evidence of actual physical contact.”
“We don’t need that.”
“Yes, we do. You must support your accusation. Katherine is not a Chinese.”
The crowd mumbled. People began to argue among themselves. Finally Big Lee suggested that I, as chairman of the Workers’ Union, take Jim and Katherine to a nearby hospital to have a doctor do a test to see if the two had intercourse.
The crowd mumbled in agreement. I could see they felt good about having the power to determine the fate of another.
Jasmine thought for a while, then agreed. “If the doctor finds Jim’s sperm in her, Katherine will have no way to explain herself. Go do your duty, Comrade Chairman of the Workers’ Union.”
* * *
I
walked into Katherine’s room. She was sitting on her bed. I asked her how she was doing. She said she still had a headache. The aspirins were not helping. I asked her if she knew what was happening. She said it was too ridiculous for her to care. She told me I looked funny because I was so serious.
I said we had to go outside to take a little walk.
“What for?”
I told her it was very important. Katherine said she didn’t feel like going out.
“We’re going. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“Why?” she shouted. “There’s nothing wrong with me. I just had too much to drink, that’s all.”
I pulled her off the bed. “You must come with me. You must have a test to prove you are innocent.”
“What’s going on? Who is behind all this?”
“Remember, you are in China.”
Katherine refused to go; she said she looked awful. She was weak. I insisted, and finally she agreed to go but asked me for a few minutes to wash her face.
Jim was ready to go. Katherine finished combing her hair and we left. Jim and Katherine walked two steps ahead of me and the two security guards Jasmine sent along. The crowd parted to make way for us and watched us walk through the front door.
* * *
T
he road to the hospital was filled with garbage left from the morning market. It was only eight o’clock, but the food was all gone. Late shoppers wandered through the market with empty bamboo baskets.
Jim’s shame was so heavy his head hung in front of his chest. Katherine walked like a drunken sailor. I caught up to her and took her arm.
It felt ridiculous but it was a serious matter. I hated myself for being one of the Chinese crowd. I was ashamed of this land that produced evil personalities. Katherine asked what I was thinking, and I told her. I didn’t care if the guards heard me; I was too angry.
Katherine told me to stop it. She said she didn’t like to hear me say such things about China. She criticized me for being narrow-minded and untrusting.
“You can afford to be open-minded and trusting because you don’t live here.”
“But I do and I’m in trouble. Big Chinese trouble,” she said.
I laughed and the sound reminded me of Jasmine’s laugh.
Katherine asked me to tell her how this whole thing had started. There would be justice, she said.
“You’re about to have a test to see whether you had intercourse with a married man. Isn’t that a wonderful kind of justice?”
Katherine went silent. She shook her head.