Just The Way You Are (9 page)

The pier was alive with summer tourists, and the smells of fresh fish, baked bread, and chocolate chip cookies mixed in with the breezy salt air made Alli take a deep breath of appreciation. She loved the wharf, the sea, the town. Unlike Tessa, she had never wanted to leave. Tucker's Landing had been her safe place after her parents died, a warm blanket she wrapped herself in whenever the outside world got too close.

Only now, the outside world and Tessa were intruding on her safe place. Alli looked down the road toward Sam's boat dock. She could see his morning fishing boat transferring piles of fresh salmon to the truck for Petrie's restaurant, waiting to haul the salmon a few blocks down the road, where it would be seasoned and broiled for dinner that night.

It had been her idea to use the mid-size of their three boats for commercial fishing purposes. They used the large fifty-footer for deep-sea charters and whale watching and the smaller boat for friends and family looking for some sportfishing a few miles off shore.

Alli wondered if Sam had taken the morning charter out or left it to one of the other captains. Lately, he'd been more office bound than he liked, taking care of paperwork and bookings. She knew he felt more comfortable on the water. For Sam it was all about what he could touch, what he could feel. Which brought up a disturbing memory of his touch the night before.

It would have been so easy to make love to him. So wonderful. One kiss and she'd been blown away. It had always been like that, for her anyway.

"Alli?" Mary Ann poked her head out of shop. "I thought you were getting us a sandwich."

"I was."

"But?"

"I slept with Sam last night."

"You did what?" Mary Ann stepped out of the shop and pulled the door closed behind her. "Cassie can handle the customers. You need to talk to me about what you were thinking—if you were thinking."

"I wasn't," Alli admitted, pushing her short skirt down over her bare legs. There was a cool breeze coming off the water, sending goose bumps along her skin. She had the strangest feeling that a storm was brewing even though there were only a few puffy white clouds dotting the sky.

"So, what happened?" Mary Ann wanted to know.

"Sam stayed with Megan so I could spend the evening at the hospital. When I got home, Sam was asleep in my bed. I tried to wake him up, I really did."

"But instead, you…?"

"Kissed him."

"Oh, Alli!"

"I know, I know. I was weak."

"For a woman who is trying to divorce her husband, you're certainly using some strange tactics. But the real question is—did he kiss you back?"

"Yes, but it was probably just instinct."

"So what happened next?"

"I told him to stop, and he did. I thought we were headed for another fight, but then he backed off, and instead he talked to me about Grams and was really comforting. He told me some of his stupid knock-knock jokes."

"Oh, please, those are terrible."

"I know, but they made me smile. Then we just went to sleep. It was nice."

Mary Ann shook her head in amazement. "Nice. You slept with Sam, and it was nice."

"It was. He can be a good guy at times."

"You don't have to tell me that."

"But I couldn't make love to him, because Tessa is still between us."

"Oh, my God, you've got Tessa on the brain. So where is your sister today, anyway?"

"I have no idea." Although even as she denied knowing Tessa's whereabouts, Alli was struck by the sight of a slender figure dressed in a figure-hugging sleeveless blue sundress and walking down the road toward Sam's boat dock.

"Hey, isn't that her?" Mary Ann asked, following Alli's gaze.

"And it looks like she's on her way to visit Sam."

"Or not," Mary Ann said as the figure paused along the rail to look out at the harbor and the boats.

"I told her Sam was still in love with her," Alli said.

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Do you ever hear a little voice in your head telling you to stop and think?"

Alli made a face at Mary Ann. "Obviously, I don't listen to it."

"Maybe you should talk to Tessa."

"And say what?"

"I don't know. She's
your
sister."

Alli's eyes narrowed as a man in black jeans stopped a few feet away from Tessa and raised a camera to his eye. It wasn't just a drugstore automatic either; the camera looked to be expensive, with a zoom lens. Tessa stared out at the water, seemingly oblivious to his presence.

"I wonder what that guy is doing," Alli murmured.

"Probably trying to snap a photo of your sister. I imagine she ends up in the tabloids quite frequently. Maybe you should warn her."

Alli hesitated. It wasn't any of her business, and no doubt Tessa was used to photographers and other people trying to record her every action on film.

"Go on, do something nice," Mary Ann urged. "It will probably shock the hell out of her."

"True."

"That alone should be worth it."

"All right." Alli got up and walked down the road. She was a few feet away from the photographer when she heard Sam call Tessa's name and saw Tessa run down the street toward him. She didn't stop until she was in his arms, giving him a long, very friendly hug.

"Holy shit!" the man with the camera said loudly, lowering the lens from his face as he stared at Tessa and Sam.

Alli glanced over in surprise, wondering why the man seemed so annoyed. She started to tell him to mind his own business, but when he turned his head, she was caught off guard by his face. He was shockingly handsome, with light green eyes that lit up his black hair and dark olive skin. His face was beautifully strong, and very appealing. If he hadn't been holding a camera, Alli thought he probably could have made some money standing in front of it.

"Hi," he said simply, his frown fading when he saw her. "Who are you?"

"I was going to ask you the same question. Why are you taking Tessa's picture? Are you planning to sell it to some cheap supermarket paper?"

"I'd rather die than have one of my photographs in a rag sheet." He held out his right hand. "I'm Jimmy Duggan."

She ignored his hand. "You still haven't answered my question."

His eyes narrowed on her face. "You look familiar. In fact…" He rubbed his chin. "You look like Tessa."

"I'm her sister, and I look nothing like her."

"I didn't know she had a sister," he mused, his gaze swinging from her to Tessa, who had stepped out of Sam's arms but was still in deep conversation with him. "Who's the guy?"

"More importantly, who are you?"

"I told you."

"Your name, not why you're following my sister."

"I'm a photographer. I work with Tessa."

"I don't think Tessa is here to work."

"You're really her sister? Although I'm not surprised. There is something in your bone structure, your expression. It's astonishing, really. Have you modeled?"

"Oh, please, don't try to butter me up. I know what I look like. I have a mirror, and when I used to ask who is the fairest of them all, there was only one answer, and it was Tessa."

"Well, she is beautiful," Jimmy agreed matter-of-factly. "So who's the guy?"

"Sam Tucker."

"And he is…"

"He's my husband."

Chapter 9

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J
immy looked taken aback. "Your husband?"

"Yes."

"And he's close to Tessa?"

"He used to be."

"Looks like he still is," Jimmy said dryly. "Hey, Tessa, babe, sweetheart." He waved as Tessa turned and saw them standing there.

"Jimmy? Jimmy, is that you?" Tessa cried, coming up the road to meet them. "Oh, my God, what are you doing here?"

"Trying to keep an appointment with you."

"How did you find me?"

"Your assistant gave me the address. And when you didn't call me back, I figured I'd have a better chance of talking to you if I came here."

"I've been so busy."

"With your—grandmother?" Jimmy asked, casting Sam a suspicious look as he moved up behind Tessa.

Tessa cleared her throat. "Among other people. I see you met my sister. And this is Sam Tucker, an old friend."

"And your brother-in-law," Jimmy said.

"Right," Tessa said, clearing her throat. "How long have you been standing here?"

"Long enough, I'd say," Jimmy replied. "For a woman who claimed to have no family, you seem to be acquiring relatives by the minute."

"Yes, well, it's a long story."

"I bet it's a good one. I think I'll stick around to hear it."

"Really? You can stay for a few hours?"

"I can stay for a few days. We still have that assignment to complete—a day in the life of a supermodel."

"We can't do that here. This isn't my life."

"Oh, I don't know. You're breathing, you're alive, and this is a day in your life."

"Not one I'd like to have recorded. Why don't we get some lunch and talk about it?" Tessa suggested. "There's a great little clam chowder place at the end of the pier."

"Sounds good."

Tessa looked at Sam. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure," Sam replied, digging his hands into his pockets.

"Good."

Alli watched as Tessa slipped her hand through Jimmy's arm and they walked down the road together, two strikingly attractive people. It was like watching the Red Sea part, she thought. The crowd seemed to naturally move aside for them, some taking a second look after they'd passed. When she glanced back at Sam, she caught him studying her with curiosity.

"What?" she asked.

"Were you following Tessa?"

"No. I was standing in front of the store, and I saw that guy taking Tessa's photograph. I didn't know who he was, so I thought I'd warn her, but you got to her first," Alli explained, remembering their passionate embrace. "That was quite a hug."

"Well, believe it or not, the reason I was walking up this way was to see you."

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes. I wanted an update on Phoebe's condition."

"She's better. They're going to do a CT scan this afternoon. When I was there this morning Grams mouthed a few short words—my name, William's, stuff like that. You couldn't really call it talking. She seems able to move her right arm and leg just fine, but the left side is more sluggish. It's hard to see her like that."

Sam held out his hand to her and, after a momentary hesitation, she took it.

"She's going to make it," he said, wrapping his fingers around hers.

She looked into his eyes and saw a kindness that reminded her of the boy she'd first fallen in love with. "You're being very supportive about Grams. I appreciate it."

"I care about her, too. Listen, I have a whale watching trip in an hour with a newlywed couple. Why don't you come with me?"

"Come with you?" she asked in surprise.

"They'll want to be on their own. You can keep me company. Fishermen I can deal with. Young lovers are another story."

"I'm working," she said, even though she was tempted to say yes.

"You can't spare an hour or two? Mary Ann can mind the store."

"You never wanted me to come on your tours. Why now?"

"I told you, I'd like the company."

"My
company?"

"Do you want me to take it back?"

"No, but there's Grams, and…" She waved her hand in the air, trying to give voice to the million reasons why she shouldn't go with him.

His smile faded. "Say no if you don't want to go. Say yes if you do. You don't have to make an excuse either way."

Oh, God. He was killing her with his eyes, with his question. She was supposed to be breaking away from Sam, but he so rarely invited her out on the boat, preferring to keep that world his and his alone, that she didn't want to say no.

"Look, we're leaving in an hour," he said. "If you want to come, I'll see you on board." He started to leave, then paused. "You never used to think this much, Alli. I don't believe I like it."

* * *

"I like the new you," Jimmy said as he sat down across the table from Tessa with a heaping portion of clam chowder in a bread bowl. He eyed Tessa's own smaller cup of chowder accompanied by a green salad with approval. "You're actually eating. I'm impressed."

"I shouldn't be," she said, then closed her eyes in delight as the first spoonful of clam chowder slid down her throat. "But this is so incredibly good. Tomorrow I will eat only lettuce, I swear."

He laughed, reaching across the table to wipe a drop of chowder off her chin with his napkin. "You could use a pound or two."

"No, I couldn't, and you know how hard I have to work to keep them off. Still … maybe just a few more bites," she said guiltily. "It must be the sea air."

"It's certainly all around us," Jimmy replied.

Tessa followed his gaze to the railing just a few feet away from them, to the harbor and the ocean beyond, the sails blowing in the breeze, the sound of sea lions mingling with the chatter of tourists. She shook her head, thinking how incongruous it all was, having lunch with Jimmy at a beat-up picnic table, dented with the carvings of a thousand teenagers who had sat at this point and looked out at the sea.

"What?" Jimmy asked.

"I was just thinking that four-star restaurants are more our style."

"But you've never enjoyed a meal more. Must be my company, huh?"

She laughed. "Must be. I still can't believe you're here."

"How's your grandmother?"

"A little better, I hope. I stopped in this morning. She said a few words to me, but the stroke has robbed her of her personality, her spirit. She seems to be struggling to just stay awake, to even say hello." Tessa pushed her bowl of chowder away, suddenly losing her appetite. "I shouldn't be this happy while she's in there, not for one second. It's not right."

Jimmy pushed the bowl back to her. "Not eating won't make your grandmother better. Tell me about her. What kind of woman is she? Is she like you?"

Tessa smiled again. "In looks maybe, but not in personality or in height. She barely comes up to my chin, but she's indomitable. She has a heart so big it crosses continents. When life knocks her down on her back, she gets right up again. She never feels sorry for herself, and she never asks, why me? She says, why not me? I've tried to be like her, but I just don't think I have it in me to be so brave, so courageous. It doesn't take much in the way of guts to strut down a runway."

"I don't know about that. I'd be terrified at the thought."

"You could do it. You're good-looking enough."

"Yeah, right. I'd trip and land in some matron's lap."

"More like a busty brunette."

"I've given them up for Lent."

"It isn't Lent."

"You know, you look tired," Jimmy said abruptly. "Let me take your picture now with those gray shadows under your eyes."

"Don't you dare. My career will be over. And I was serious before—you are not shooting a day in the life of a supermodel here. You'll have to wait until I can get down to L.A. Promise me."

"So who was that guy?" Jimmy asked.

Tessa didn't like the way he avoided making a promise. "I told you, he's my brother-in-law."

"You looked awfully cozy for in-laws." Was there a chill in the air or had Jimmy's eyes suddenly gone cold? No. She was getting as imaginative as Alli. "Sam was my best friend growing up," she explained. "We've known each other for years."

"Where has he been?"

"Here. Sam and Alli live here with their daughter."

"They have a kid?"

"Megan. She's eight years old."

Jimmy studied her the way he did when he was searching for an angle to shoot. She laughed self-consciously.

"Stop that. Stop taking my picture in your mind."

"I took a few photos earlier, you know, even got the one where you ran into Sam's arms like a long-lost—"

"Stop."

"Tessa, the camera doesn't lie."

"Okay, he was my boyfriend when we were kids."

"But he married your sister. How did that happen?"

"It's a long story."

"Is that why you don't talk about her? Or about him? Is that why most of the free world thinks you're an orphan?"

"Maybe." Tessa took another spoonful of soup, but found it as unsatisfying as their conversation. "I don't want to talk about this now, okay? I've got more important things on my mind than the past."

Jimmy slowly nodded. "Whatever you say."

She sent him a suspicious look, his agreement coming to quickly. She'd known Jimmy for five years and he never gave up easily. But he was very good at biding his time.

"How did you get here anyway?" she asked.

"I rented a motorcycle at the airport."

"A motorcycle?"

"I needed some air."

"You've come to the right place for air. When is your flight back to L.A.?"

"I don't have one."

"You must have other jobs to do."

"They can wait."

"Jimmy, you're not going to talk me into a photo shoot while I'm in this place. This isn't my home. This isn't my life anymore, and I don't really want anyone to know about it."

"Why not? Why all the secrets, Tessa? Why not tell the world you have a grandmother and a sister and a niece? Why not tell them you grew up in a small town by the sea, that you still like a good cup of clam chowder no matter how many calories are in it?"

"No one wants to know that about me. They want to see my fancy apartment, and my new emerald-green Jaguar, and hear about my trip to Europe and my last date with the latest celebrity of the moment. And I thought we weren't going to talk about this."

"Maybe you sell your fans short. Maybe you sell yourself short. You're more than your photograph."

"Sometimes my photograph feels more real than me."

His green eyes seemed to bore right into her soul, and she knew she'd revealed far too much. So she tried for the practiced smile, the artificial laugh, the uncaring toss of her hair that would draw attention to her beauty and away from her soul.

"You've been a good friend, Jimmy, the best photographer I've ever had, but this isn't your business. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but—"

"You want me to butt out."

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry, but this is personal."

"The least you can do is show me around your hometown."

She sat back in her chair, not sure she wanted to show him even that much encouragement. "There's not much to see."

"I don't know about that. It's been pretty interesting so far."

She saw his charming smile and knew she couldn't say no to his adorable face. Jimmy had a way of making her do things she never wanted to do, like wearing a bikini on an Aspen ski slope or riding a horse bareback down a Texas dirt road. She supposed this was an easy request compared to some of them. "You are nothing but trouble, you know that, don't you?"

He leaned forward, so close she could see the gleam in his green eyes, and she felt an unexpected tingle go down her spine.

"Sometimes a woman needs a little trouble in her life," he said.

She laughed. "Does that line really work on women?"

He grinned back at her. "You'd be surprised."

"I think I'd be more surprised if you ever stopped flirting."

"I keep hoping, that's all," he said lightly.

"Hoping? For what?"

He shrugged, a Mona Lisa smile on his lips that made her surprisingly uncomfortable. This was Jimmy, she told herself. A fun guy, a charmer, a man not to be taken seriously.

"You're not making any sense," she told him.

"Good, I'd hate to ruin my rep. Come on. Show me your old stomping grounds, where you went to school, what roads you took on your driver's test, where you parked to make out with all the boys."

She punched him in the arm. "Some things are private."

"Hey, if you can't tell your photographer, who can you tell? I know all your other secrets, babe, the freckles you hide behind powder, the way your hairline veers on the right side, that tiny little blemish under your left eyebrow." He leaned forward and cupped her face with his hands. "You can't hide from me, Tessa. Sooner or later, you're going to crack."

"Not even if you threaten to break my finger-nails," she said, trying to lighten a mood that had suddenly gone serious. "Don't forget I know a few secrets about you, too, Jimmy boy. So, if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."