Just Past Oysterville: Shoalwater Book One (27 page)

“
Exactly,” Karl nodded, “and now?”

“
Now I’m stuck trying to
prove myself innocent.” He answered, miserably.

Karl nodded again.

“
So,” Jack sighed, “what can
I do about it now?”

Karl leaned back in his chair, resting his
hands on the worn leather arms.

“
Well," he said, "the first
thing that we’ll need to do is explain to Kathy why she needs to
step down, at least temporarily, from the youth
ministry.”

“
What?” Jack cried,
astonished, “Why should she have to quit the youth group? Isn’t
that just punishing Kathy for her husband's sin?”

Karl’s hand went to the Bible once again,
leafing through the thin, translucent pages.

“
It's got nothing to do with
punishment, Jack; it’s about Kathy being a stepping-stone and not a
stumbling block to her unbelieving husband. If Bill doesn’t want
her involved in youth ministry, even if it’s only because he
doesn’t like
you
, then she needs to step down, immediately.”

Jack shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

Pastor Ferguson found the
verse he was looking for and read it aloud.
“For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through
his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified
through her believing husband.”

Karl’s eyes rose to meet Jack’s again.

“
You and I,” he said,
“despite how much we may care for Katherine Beckman, or want her
involved in ministry, can’t be the reason that she refuses to
submit to her husband. If she does that," Karl closed his Bible,
"she steps out from under the authority that God has placed over
her and then, no matter how noble her intentions may be, she’s in
rebellion. Her personal relationship with Christ, as well as
Bill’s, comes first before
any
ministry.”

Jack’s head was spinning. On one hand, he
knew that Karl was right; Kathy would never help her husband come
under the submission of Christ if she didn’t stay in submission to
him. Still, it seemed so unfair! Jack also knew how much Kathy
loved working with the girls; loved being involved with all the
youth. His frustration must have been obvious on his face, as Karl
smiled.

“
Try looking at it this
way," he said, "Kathy’s not being asked to step down from ministry,
but to focus on her most important ministry, to her husband. That
has to take priority over my wishes and yours, and
hers.”

Jack slumped in his chair.
It made sense. He didn’t like it, he probably never would, but
then, it wasn’t his place to pass judgment on God’s design, was it?
How often had they hammered
that
into his head at Clear
Creek?

Knowing the answer and liking the answer
were two very different things, and one wasn’t nearly as important
as the other.

He knew, like it or not, that he must do his
part in allowing Kathy to minister to Bill.

“
Look,” Karl said, “I know
it’s a tough pill to swallow, but welcome to being a Pastor. Much
of what you’re going to face in a lifetime of ministry is going to
be like this. God hasn’t called you to spread the gospel as
you
see fit, but
as
He
's
ordained it. If you don’t like that, you’ll have to take it up with
God. You’ll be wrong, of course, but He’s always willing to
listen.”

There was a long pause and, finally, Jack
smiled, realizing that Karl was teasing him…sort of. And suddenly
he knew that he couldn’t leave this room without telling his mentor
the whole truth. Jack felt his stomach constrict and his mouth go
dry as he spoke.

“
Karl…uh…there’s something
more I need to tell you.”

Karl nodded.

“
I thought there might be.”
He sighed, “Do you have feelings, romantic feelings, for this
woman?”

“
Yes, I do.” Jack said, “But
I swear Karl, I’ve never--”

“
Don’t!’ Karl interrupted
sternly, “I’m not interested in a confession of your innocence.
This is about a confession of your sin.”

“
Sin?”

Karl nodded, tapping the
Bible with his finger. “Christ said it in the book of Matthew, and
I’m sure that you’re familiar with verse as well;
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman
lustfully…”

“…
has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.”
Jack
finished.

He felt tears stinging the back of his eyes,
as he looked at his pastor and friend. This was the guilt that had
been eating away at him for the past months...the conviction that
made him flinch away whenever his hand had brushed hers. For the
first time in Jack’s short career, he felt like an absolute
failure.

“
Good,” Karl said, as Jack looked at him through swimming eyes.
“Now we’re looking at it from the right direction. Now something
can be done about it.”

“
What can I do?” Jack asked,
his voice cracking.

Karl’s instructions were hard, and there
were times over the next months that Jack chafed beneath them, but
he knew it was for the best.

First, the two men took hands, across the
weathered desktop, and they prayed. Jack had wept, praying a prayer
of confession and repentance and Karl followed that by asking for
strength and healing for his young friend. Second, Pastor Ferguson
had told him there would be no more contact, even socially, between
Jack and Kathy; no further opportunities for the appearance of
wrong. Karl made it clear that if Kathy had a heart for ministry,
he could find her a place where she could do so.

Under no circumstances, however, was Jack to
seek her out for help with any of his work.

“
Don’t tell her about our
conversation,” Karl warned, “knowing your feelings can only hurt
her, as there’s nothing she can do about them, so there’s no point.
I’ll talk to Bill sometime soon and see if I can get them to come
in together for counseling. I’ll explain to her about stepping down
from the youth ministry and keeping distance from you, for the sake
of her husband.”

Bill Beckman, Karl had gone on, would be
assured that if he ever had any evidence that sin had been
committed between Jack and Kathy, that he could come to Karl with
it, who would deal with the situation without partiality.

However, if he continued to
accuse without any proof, Karl would also treat
him
without partiality, like any
other gossip. Lastly, he leveled a stern eye at his assistant
pastor and made it clear that if any sin were to be committed, and
Karl found out about it, Jack would be fired without
hesitation.

“
That’s not a threat, you
understand,” Karl stressed, “I’m just making it as clear as I can,
that I’m going to follow scripture, to the letter, on this. I’ll do
nothing out of favoritism.”

Jack told him that he understood, and
assured him that nothing like that would become necessary.

“
It won’t happen,” he
said.

“
Be careful, Jack,” Karl
warned him, “Anyone can stumble and fall into sin,
anyone
! It’s only
when we recognize that possibility that we can be watchful and
guard against it.”

Jack nodded.

With that, Karl heaved himself from his
chair with a chuckle and started for the door. Suddenly he turned
and, reaching into his pocket, removed a small white envelope with
a red ribbon around it.

"I almost forgot," he said, "This is your
Christmas present from the Beckman's. I'll tell her you said thank
you."

Jack, mute, could only nod again.

“
Now,” Karl said, “I don’t
know about you, but I’ve got Christmas dinner waiting for me, if my
grandchildren have left me any, that is!”

Jack laughed, but it was a polite,
distracted laugh, his mind still focused on Karl’s final warning.
He had a feeling the things he'd been told in the last half hour
might be more important than anything he had yet learned about
being a pastor.

*

The gift from Bill and Kathy turned out to
be a twenty-dollar gift certificate to the Sand Castle Bookstore in
Ocean Park.

A week later, Jack found the
tiny shop just around the corner from the main thoroughfare, its
display window crossed with a huge banner reading "After Christmas
Sale.” A tiny brass bell jingled merrily from the lintel as he
walked through the door. The shop was larger inside than it
appeared, and every wall was stuffed with books. A sign, taped to
the cash register, read:
Specializing in
Rare and Out Of Print.

A small, thin woman, who looked to Jack to
be somewhere between seventy and eighty, glanced up from the thick
paperback she was reading as she sat behind the counter, and gave
him a quick once-over. She wore a bright and eclectic collection of
clothing, a deep purple skirt, and top with a passion-red silk
scarf that matched her lurid lipstick almost perfectly. A huge
silver brooch twinkled from her blouse, and glittering faux diamond
rings covered her gnarled fingers.

Best of all, Jack thought,
were her glasses. Deep emerald lenses, perched on the tip of her
thin nose and held in place with a gleaming silver chain, the
frames were classic cat's-eyes from the fifties, in an
indescribable
shade
of pink. Jack suddenly had the strangest urge to button his collar
and make sure he’d combed his hair. The old woman smiled at his
obvious discomfort.

"Welcome to the Sand Castle," she said, her voice surprisingly
strong, and reminded Jack of the low, sultry voices of Hollywood
starlets from the thirties and forties, and he fought back a
grin.

"Can I help you find something?" she
asked.

"No ma'am," Jack replied, "I just came in to
look around; I have this gift certificate…"

"Ah!" the woman cried,
rising from her chair and coming around the counter, "a
paying
customer!
Well honey,
paying
customers get to call me
Dottie! Now, what is your
genre
préféré
?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you like to read, sweetheart?"

Jack laughed at the woman's
flamboyant style and, handing her the gift certificate, replied,
"Well, let's talk about that…"

*

Months passed, and Jack found himself busy
with his handful of youth as they dealt with the stresses of winter
isolation, forced confinement with parents and siblings, and the
rigors of their upcoming finals. Aimee Peterson wrecked her
mother's Honda, missing a four-way stop in Sea View, and Trevor
Rigby had been suspended from school for fighting, presumably over
a girl.

Occasionally, as the weeks flew by, Jack
would see Kathy seated across the sanctuary, or talking to one of
the kids in the foyer. He would smile and nod, and then find
something to attend to in another direction.

Prayer filled what few empty spaces he found
in his schedule.

Prayer for the youth, their walk with Christ
and their futures, prayer for the church and its influence on their
community and, most of all, prayer for himself, that he would
maintain the integrity that he had avowed himself to before his
pastor and before God.

Bill, on the other hand, had been distinctly
absent from Long Beach Community Church since Jack had last seen
him in Karl's living room. Still, it was a small town, and most
folk knew each other's business. It was no great secret that Bill
could be found, most any night, warming a barstool down at Doc's
Tavern in Long Beach, sharing his woes with whoever would
listen.

Following that terrible night at the
Ferguson's house, Jack hadn't dreamed of Kathy again, and though he
knew that he wasn't completely free of his own misplaced desires,
Jack found his thoughts drawn less and less to her.

This he took as an answer to the long hours
spent on his knees, in heartfelt and often-tearful prayer, both in
the sanctuary of the church and in his little cabin by the bay.
Kathy, since her meeting with Karl and the Petersons in early
January, had become an integral part of the church's work with the
Missions board, and Sarah Mack's right hand in that ministry. Jack
was relieved that she had found a place in the church where she
could make a difference, though her presence among the teen girls
was sorely missed.

By March, Jack and his kids, led once more
by the theatrically gifted Trevor, were hard at work on an Easter
performance. Pastor Karl, a big believer in putting one's money
where one's mouth is, had included in his gushing praise of the
Christmas performance, the announcement of a yearly youth drama
budget of two hundred dollars. While not an overwhelming windfall,
still, the youth were ecstatic, committing on the spot to match
that amount in fund-raisers. Now, three months later, a script had
been chosen and parts were cast.

“
One nice thing,” Jack told
Karl, over breakfast at the Caboose, “about leading a small youth
group is that nobody gets left out. Quite the opposite,” he had
laughed, “I have half the kids playing more than one part, and
working as backstage crew as well!”

Besides the youth meeting and upcoming play,
Jack still maintained the church building and kept up his weekly
visits to those who hadn't been able to attend the Sunday service.
It was a hectic, sometimes dizzying workload, but Jack found
himself happier than he'd ever been.