Authors: Rosalind James
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Multicultural & Interracial
“Crikey. This is me shuddering back here.”
“No, really?” she asked in surprise. “It was amazing. You should try it.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” he decided.
“You don’t like thrills?”
“I love thrills. Know how to get them, too. And it’s not by jumping off buildings.”
Wow. She didn’t think she’d pursue that one. Maybe he meant rugby. Yeah, right. He hadn’t meant rugby.
They were silent for a few minutes. Ally could tell from the speed of their progress that Nate was, in fact, paddling strongly in sync with her. So he actually did know how to kayak. And he hadn’t felt the need to let her know that, which impressed her even more. He was steering them into a bit of chop now, around the big rock that stood well offshore. And into an area of churning waves on the back side.
“The Washing Machine, they call this,” he told her as they went through it, to her delight. “I thought you’d want to experience it.”
“You were right,” she said. “I love waves. This is fun.” Drew and Hannah were staying well out of the chop, she noticed. Drew keeping Hannah’s stomach happy, of course.
“I’ve got a question for you,” Ally said as they left the area behind, headed further up the coastline. “My own conversational topic. Those nicknames you guys have. You always call Liam ‘Mako,’ don’t you?”
“Yeh. Rugby nicknames. We like nicknaming things anyway in En Zed, and with rugby, it’s a bit of a tradition. A bonding thing, I guess.”
“All right. So what’s Mako mean? Isn’t it a fish?”
“Yeh. It’s a play on his surname, of course, Mahaka. But mako’s Maori for a type of shark. Fastest shark there is. Aggressive, too. Hook a mako, and it can jump straight into your boat and fight you. Hard as hell to bring in, no quit in them at all. And that’s Mako too. Takes two or three blokes to bring him down, and he’ll be fighting all the way to the end, every time. He’s the man you want beside you in the tough spots. He’s a warrior.”
“He didn’t seem like that,” Ally said in alarm. “What Hannah said . . . does he have anger issues? Should I be concerned for Kristen?”
“What I said, that’s just on the paddock,” he assured her. “It’s a rugby nickname, eh. With women . . . nah. No worries.”
“OK,” Ally said dubiously. “I guess you’d know. And your nickname is Toro. For Torrance, I figured that out. But if Mako’s about the shark, Toro probably
does
have to do with the bull thing, right?”
“So they say.”
Oh-kay. That was all she was going to get out of him. Which made her wonder just what that nickname really
was
all about.
Don’t go there, Ally.
“So what’s Drew’s nickname?” she asked instead, turning her mind hastily from the danger zone. “Everyone seems to just call him ‘Drew.’”
“Well, his name’s Andrew,” Nate pointed out.
“Yes, and your name’s probably Nathan. Why isn’t he . . . Callie, or something? Callo. Drewie.” A laugh escaped her at the idea.
“You’d never call him that,” Nate said immediately. “Specially not Drewie. Geez. I’d like to see somebody try. He’s always just been Drew. Because he’s one of the boys, but he’s . . . not.”
“That thing about him. That stature he’s got.”
“Yeh. His mana. Greatest All Black ever, you’ll hear people say. The best captain, too, and that’s saying something. There’s never been a man on any of his teams who wouldn’t walk through fire for him. Because he’d be walking right in front of them, leading the way.”
“So what’s that like?” she asked impulsively. “Following somebody like that into the captaincy? Trying to become that person for the team? That kind of leader?”
She heard the silence from behind her, and regretted the question. This was clearly sensitive territory.
“Sorry,” she said quickly. “You don’t have to answer that.”
“Nah, that’s OK. You’re not the first to ask, believe me. The answer is, I’ve learnt heaps about what it takes, doing all my playing beside him on the ABs. So for that, it’s good. And for the rest . . . I’ll just have to see how I go, hope that I’ve learnt a bit being the Hurricanes skipper.”
Not a very satisfactory answer, but she’d pushed enough, so she closed her mouth on the questions she still wanted to ask, concentrated on the day around her, on keeping her stroke smooth and even through the slight chop.
“And here’s my final conversational topic,” Nate said after a minute. “How’re you going with your own job? Drew said you were working at the gym.”
“Pretty good,” she said with relief. “Nothing too exciting. I’ve done this for a long time, and it isn’t much different in New Zealand.”
“Not too many boofheads rejecting your sound advice?”
“Well, the occasional one,” she admitted. He was sounding so human, she decided to test him a little. “I’m working on something pretty exciting right now, actually. A publicity deal with the netball team. When you saw me last, I was just discussing the possibility.”
She could almost hear the door slamming shut. “You’ll want to be careful there,” he said stiffly. “Out for himself, Devon. Not too scrupulous when it comes to getting what he wants.”
“Funny. That’s pretty much what he said about you.”
“About me.” He sounded genuinely surprised.
“You haven’t been all that helpful to him yourself, have you?”
“No,” he said shortly. “I haven’t. And I never will be.”
Well, that was that. He was such a puzzle. One minute he was so pleasant, even able to laugh at himself, and the next he was cold and stiff again. She didn’t understand him at all. Oh, well. She didn’t need to, did she?
“How long are you and Kristen staying?” he asked after they’d all gone for a lunch during which he’d shown the pleasant side again, and were back at the bach. Nate had helped Drew clean and store the boats and gear, though Ally had offered to help, of course. And had had her offer rejected, of course. There were advantages to going kayaking with macho guys, she’d decided. And now, Nate had come to join her on the deck while he waited for his friend to return from the walk he was taking with Kristen, their babysitting duties done.
“We’re just here a few more days,” Ally said. “Although I’ve been thinking I should give them all some family time. They’ve been so nice about including me, but you know what they say about guests and fish. After a few days, they start to stink. And I’ve been with them a whole week already. That’s a long time, especially with Hannah pregnant and not feeling well.”
Nate laughed. He was sitting forward on the wooden chair, legs apart, elbows on his knees and hands clasped, grinning at her. And looking more attractive than ever, which only confused her more.
“Not so long by Kiwi hospitality standards,” he said. “I doubt they’re whispering to each other at night that they wish you’d take yourself off. But what did you have planned to keep yourself from stinking?”
“I was thinking about hiking tomorrow, anyway, get myself out of their hair.”
“Want some company? I’m here a bit longer myself, and I know a few good tracks.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
He sounded completely flabbergasted, and the grin was gone. “What d’you mean, why?”
“I mean, do you actually like me?” she heard herself asking. “Or is it just that you can’t stand to fail? Because I can’t decide.”
“Crikey, you’re blunt,” he said wonderingly.
“Well, I haven’t dated for years,” she tried to explain. “I don’t know the rules anymore, if I ever did. So I figure that means I get to make up my own.”
“Not for years, eh,” he said speculatively.
“Nope.” She thought about explaining that, abandoned the idea.
“Conversational topic for tomorrow, then?”
“Maybe,” she smiled. “If my life history’s really of any interest. And if you tell me why you’re asking me out.”
“Right. You said honesty was good, so I’ll have a crack at it. Because I like how you look. A lot. Because you keep surprising me. And because,” he said with another grin, “I really, really hate to lose.”
“And honesty wins the day,” she decided. “All good answers. Sure, I’ll go hiking with you. Hiking’s pretty safe.”
Hidden Dangers
“Careful here,” Nate said the next day. Geez. He hadn’t been on this track in a couple years. He hadn’t realized how overgrown it had become with gorse. The nasty stuff was everywhere, its bright yellow flowers looking mockingly cheerful in the sunshine, belying the vicious thorns. “I should’ve told you to wear long pants.”
“It’s all right,” Ally said. “It’s worth it for the view.” They were at the edge of the headland now, the coastal vista spreading before them. The indentations of rugged cliffs creating hidden bays, the foaming lines of white surf and endless corrugated blue of the sea beyond.
It
was
fairly nice. He’d got that bit right, anyway. And she actually sounded pleased, to his relief. He couldn’t imagine another woman who would’ve got her legs scratched up like this without whingeing. And she wasn’t even a Kiwi. Maybe Canadians were tough too, though. He hadn’t known enough to tell.
He turned now as he crossed a stile into a paddock, reached for her hand.
“Nate,” she sighed, “I appreciate your gentlemanly concern, but you don’t have to help me. I can do the uphills, and I can do the downhills too. I can cross a stile without falling. I’m sorry if you’d like me to be more helpless, but I can’t fake it.”
“Yeh. Right.” He was thoroughly rattled now. He kept forgetting that she was a professional, kept automatically reaching back for her. This wasn’t going well at all. He’d thought it’d be a chance to make up some ground. Instead, he was on the back foot once again. Right, then. Conversation. He’d try that.
“This is some more of the honesty thing,” he said, embarking on a steep uphill section of track and making a conscious effort not to help her. “Making up your own rules for dating. Because you haven’t done it in years.”
“That’s it,” she said cheerfully, sounding not in the least winded as she came along behind him. For somebody with such a pretty body, she was in fantastic shape. Or maybe that was why she had such a pretty body.
Crikey. He was losing his train of thought again. Back to the topic.
“So why is that? Scare them all away?” She’d teased him enough. He’d try a bit of it on her.
She laughed. OK. Teasing was working. “No. I had somebody. Well, sort of. I’ve been with the same guy since college. I mean,” she corrected herself, “I
had
been. Until I came here.”
“You left him to move here with Kristen?” If she was a lesbian, he was going to have to get his signal-reading sorted. And have a chat with Mako. On the other hand, that would be pretty hot. Hmm.
“Well, not exactly.” She sounded a bit more serious now. “Kristen was planning to come down here, and she was nervous about it. About being by herself. And I thought, maybe I’ll come with her for a few months, get a job, share a place. If you’re into adventure sports, you want to come to New Zealand, you probably know that. So I mentioned it to Brian.”
“And he didn’t like the idea,” Nate guessed. OK, then. Not a lesbian. He was startled by the depth of his relief. Even though he still thought it would’ve been hot.
“No. That wasn’t it. He said it sounded fun, and I should go ahead.”
“And that was bad?” He was completely confused now. “It was a test, and he didn’t know it, cocked it up? Poor bugger.”
“You think? Say it’s you. You’ve been with a woman for six years.”
“Six years?”
“Yep. Six big, long years, ever since college—sorry, University. So you’ve been with her all that time. Living with her for years. And she says, I think I’ll go live in a new country without you. What’s your reaction?”
“Am I meant to be in love with this woman?”
“Well, hopefully. If you’ve been with her that long.”
“Then the answer is, over my dead body,” he said immediately.
“I mean,” he pulled himself up short, “I’m not a Neanderthal. If she had to do a work thing, something like that, that’s one thing. But she just wants to go off someplace new? I’d be thinking she was breaking up with me. That she was going to be meeting somebody else.”
“You’d be jealous,” she said. “You’d be upset.”
“Too right I’d be jealous. Like I said, I hate to lose. Course, I can’t quite imagine being with somebody for six years anyway. Not without being married, or engaged, or something.”
“I guess I assumed that would happen,” she admitted. “That we were moving toward something. But it didn’t, just stayed the same. And when we had that conversation, the way it went, I realized it was never going to change. That he didn’t want any more than what we had, at least not with me. I was just a . . . convenience. Who wants to be that? So that was pretty much that. We didn’t go out with a bang. Definitely a whimper. Not even a dramatic breakup scene. And it hasn’t been too bad, being on my own. Different, but not too bad. So I guess I wasn’t all that invested either, was I?”
“A bit hard being alone at Christmas,” he pointed out.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “Not alone, but not with my own family. Or Brian. But most times when I miss him, I think I just miss how much easier it is being part of a couple. And having that central person in your life, that person who knows you. Which isn’t exactly the same as being passionately in love, is it?”
“Do you want to be passionately in love, then?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t you?”
“Don’t think about it much. Too focused on the footy.”
“Does one rule out the other?” She sounded startled, and he realized he’d let his honesty run away with him.
“No, wait,” he said in confusion. “I didn’t mean I
wouldn’t.
I just mean I
haven’t.”
He could almost see his chance slipping away, even from up here. Turned to look at her, and the expression on her face confirmed it. “Oh, bugger. I’m making a hash of it again, aren’t I?”
“I don’t think either of us is doing too well,” she decided. “Telling you about my old boyfriend is pretty much Dating Mistake Number One, I do know that. I’m starting over on the dating thing with no skills, as you see.”