Just Enough Light (11 page)

“What did she do?”

“She called my father.”

“Oh Lord.” Dana bit her lip. “Have I told you I’ve met your father?”

Annie smiled. “Then you can imagine the kind of stir the senator created when the SAR team called off the search for his only child, saying conditions were too dangerous and they needed to wait until the weather improved. He was in the midst of threatening hell and damnation when this skinny twenty-two year-old kid volunteered to go and find me. Everyone thought she was crazy, but she told my father she knew these woods like the back of her hand. She said she’d bring me back and then she just wandered off into the storm.”

Dana shook her head. “She hasn’t changed much, has she?”

“No. It took her a while to find me. I’d sprained my ankle badly and the storm was rather fierce, so she dug a snow cave just big enough for the two of us. We shared body heat, trail mix, and dreams until the winds finally let up. We were almost all the way back, with Kellen bearing most of my weight, when a couple of rangers found us. They quickly bundled me up on the back of a snowmobile, but Kellen refused a ride. Said she’d make it back on her own and then disappeared as quickly as she’d appeared.”

“I don’t understand. She didn’t come back with you?”

“No. And you should have seen my father when he discovered the rangers had left Kellen behind to return on her own. He had the secret service combing the woods, looking under every rock and tree until they found her. It turned out she’d been living in the woods while doing her degree at the University of Colorado, which is how she knew the territory so well.” Annie sat for a minute, thinking, remembering. “But she wouldn’t come back with them. Said knowing I was safe was all the thanks she needed. So the secret service kept an eye on her until my father could get there to meet with her. And as it turned out, he got there just in time.”

“She was getting ready to take off, wasn’t she,” Dana stated softly.

“You got it in one. She’d just finished packing and was none too pleased about doing it under the watchful eye of my father’s entourage when the senator got there. She also wasn’t too keen to come back to town with him, but my father didn’t get to where he is without learning a thing or two about persuasion.”

“What happened next?”

“He asked her to stay with us for a few days, and although it was clear she wasn’t comfortable around so many people, she agreed. On her last morning with us, my father suggested she should be passing on her backcountry knowledge and rescue expertise to train future generations. She said it was something she’d dreamed of doing. And then he offered to back the endeavor, on one condition.”

Dana frowned. “What condition was that?”

“He said she needed to take his wayward daughter on as a business partner and keep her out of trouble,” Annie said with a laugh. “I happened to think the idea was terrific. I had a degree in business I wasn’t using, and Lesley had found a cabin near town, the perfect location for a mystery writer to settle down in and write.”

“So all’s well that ends well.”

“Yes,” Annie responded with certainty. “Dana, I don’t give a damn what Grant said. It was Kellen Ryan who saved my life and Kellen Ryan who helped build this business. I don’t care who she was before that. I only care about who she is today. But I worry that on some level, she’s always just a step from running. Disappearing.”

“What do you mean?”

“She once shared that she keeps a backpack in her front closet, filled with essentials in case she needs to run. I may not like it, but I do understand having it there helps her feel better, so I don’t interfere. Because it’s simply a part of who Kellen is. And that’s the same person I’ve known and loved for the last ten years.”

Dana felt momentarily stunned by Annie’s revelation. That after all these years, Kellen would still keep a go bag ready in case she needed to run at a moment’s notice spoke of a level of fear she couldn’t begin to understand. She also wasn’t certain what it would take to turn things around.

Whether it mattered or not, they still had no idea who Kellen had been prior to meeting with Annie and her father. And there was still someone out there, hunting her. Wanting to finish what he’d started a year earlier.

There was also one other question that remained critical. If Kellen’s pattern was to disappear, would she do that now? With a clear threat, would she run? Or would she stand and face whoever was coming after her, knowing she’d established strong bonds of friendship here, built a community. One that was prepared to stand by her. Fight with her and for her.

*

Kellen stretched and sighed as she awoke. The stretch pulled at a tube attached to her arm, and it took a handful of frustrating seconds for her to orient herself and for her eyes to focus. That was when she found herself staring at an IV.

What the hell?
The realization came at the same instant she discovered two girls and a dog gathered beside her.

Bogart immediately drew near and nudged her hand with his nose. He then looked at her with
where the hell have you been?
in his eyes. Good question. How long had she been out?

Kellen scratched his head and looked at the girls. “What’s going on?”

“Please don’t be upset, but you’ve been really sick,” Cody said.

Before she could think of an appropriate response, Cody pressed her palm on Kellen’s forehead, then pressed it against her cheek. “I think your fever’s finally gone down. But it was really bad and when it kept getting higher, we had to ask the doc to come and take a look at you.”

“Oh?” Kellen struggled to remember. “When was this?”

“Um…three days ago. Please don’t scare us like that again.”

Letting out a resigned sigh, Kellen sank back into the mattress. She sifted through her memory, but her thoughts remained foggy. Disjointed. Like a flickering movie. Slowly, vague recollections took shape. She remembered the failed rescue. Holding the boy in the river. Flying the boy’s body back to his parents.

And then she remembered Calvin Grant.

Damn. He’d talked about the man who had shot her. Speculated he was coming back after her. That she was a danger to her team. Worse, out of nowhere, he had raised questions about her past—or lack of one. In front of Annie and Dana.

If she closed her eyes, she’d swear that had only happened minutes ago. Or yesterday. But if what Cody said was right, that clearly wasn’t the case. “Three days?” she whispered hoarsely.

“We’ve all been taking turns watching you. Cooling you down with cold cloths and ice like Doc D showed us,” Ren said. “How are you feeling?”

Doc D? Now wasn’t the time to question, because Kellen could see fear and concern warring in Ren’s eyes. Could hear it in her voice. She took a quick breath and forced a smile onto her face. “I’m not sure. You know nothing keeps me down for long, but for some reason I feel like I’ve been run over by a bear.”

“Bears don’t run people over.” A giggle escaped Ren and she began to visibly relax. “They might nibble, but they’d probably think you’re too skinny and move on to something better.”

“The doc said we needed to make sure you got fluids,” Cody said and Kellen followed her eyes to the near empty IV bag. “She showed me how to change the bag and she came by a few times to make sure I was doing it right and to check that you were doing okay.”

Kellen heard the pride in her voice. “So you’re going to become a doctor now?”

“No. Dana told me how long she had to study and I can’t see me doing that,” Cody answered seriously. “But maybe a paramedic, like Gabe, so I can still go out with the team. That’d be cool and Dana and Gabe both said they’d help me study.”

Dana had certainly managed a small miracle, if both girls had let her get that close to them. Kellen’s smile was genuine this time. “I think you’d make a terrific paramedic. But then I think you both will be wonderful at whatever you choose.”

“That’s because you love us,” Ren teased. “But I don’t like needles. I just want to paint.”

“That makes you very lucky then, because it turns out you have an amazing talent,” Kellen said. “It would be a shame to waste it.”

It had taken a lot of convincing before Ren had finally agreed to let them hang some of her wildlife paintings in the main office, and Kellen wondered when it might be a good time to let Ren know the small gallery in town wanted to start selling some of her work.

Everyone who saw them thought she was exceptionally talented, but Kellen understood. Ren struggled with self-confidence and got skittish when it came to letting people see her work. Ren was afraid to let strangers get too close, afraid they would see into her soul, and see what had been done to her by looking at her paintings.

All in good time, Kellen decided. Right now, she needed to dispose of the IV, take a long hot shower, and then indulge in some coffee. In that order. That would go a long way toward making her feel more human.

Thankfully, the IV catheter came out smoothly.

“What are you doing?” Cody asked.

“I really need a shower and this”—she pointed at the IV—“is not coming with me. Could you get me a Band-Aid? And if someone could manage to brew a large pot of coffee by the time I come out, I would be forever grateful.”

“With chocolate?” Cody asked.

Kellen grinned. “Absolutely.”

Cody nodded. “Okay, but I think Dana’s going to be pissed you did that.”

“Probably,” Kellen said and wondered what the doctor would look like angry.
Hot
, that was how Cody had first described her. Dana would look hot, she decided with a smile.

*

Hot didn’t begin to describe how Dana was feeling when she stopped by the cabin and discovered her patient was missing. “What do you mean she’s gone?”

Ren slipped quietly out of the cabin without a backward glance, but Cody held her ground. “Kellen’s fever topped out at 104,” she said, “but then it finally broke early this morning.”

Dana sighed. “And—?”

Cody stared at the floor for a moment, then squared her shoulders and lifted her chin in a move that so mimicked Kellen it left Dana speechless. “After she showered, we shared a brew and she talked to us for a bit. She explained she needed some time alone. She needed to figure out what to do. Then she packed a few things and took off with Bogart by her side.”

“And you just let her go?” Dana struggled to keep the disbelief and anger out of her tone. It wasn’t just that Kellen had been weakened by her illness. There was danger in having her go off alone. It was palpable. Unrelenting. The terrain and the weather could be treacherous, unforgiving to a poorly placed foot or handhold. And there was a two-legged hunter, somewhere out there seeking her as his prey.

Cody took a step back. “Kellen makes up her own mind, Dr. Kingston. And you grounded her, so there wasn’t much reason for her to stay.”

Dana saw the hurt in the girl’s eyes, heard it in her voice and in the fact she was no longer calling her Dana, but had reverted to her formal title.

“I’m sorry, Cody,” she said gently. “I’m not angry with you. I’m upset at the situation. Kellen’s been so sick and I’m worried about her because the fever will have left her weak and it could also come back. And I know she’s the best at search-and-rescue. The only reason she was grounded was to protect her. The FBI thinks she’s a target and we’ve got to protect her until they can find out who’s after her.”

Cody’s stiff posture showed only faint signs of relaxing. “You don’t need to worry about Kel. She knows what she’s doing and she’s got Bogart to protect her. And it’s not like she won’t be back. She’ll come back as soon as she clears her head and sorts out how she’s feeling.”

“How do you know?”

“That’s easy.” Cody grinned, her face lighting up from the inside. “It’s what she said and Kellen doesn’t lie. Plus, if she was going for good, she’d have taken us. Me and Ren.”

“She’d have taken you?”

Cody nodded. “Yes. Sorry, Doc, but I’ve got to go check on Ren. Make sure she’s okay.”

Dana stared at the front closet door long after Cody slipped away from the cabin, leaving her alone. It was less than five feet away and she wanted to open the door. Wanted to pull out and open the backpack Annie had talked about. Wanted to understand.

The best safety lies in fear
. Wasn’t it Shakespeare who had said that? Perhaps she was already beginning to understand. Without needing to open the door. Without violating Kellen’s privacy.

Ten minutes later, Dana found herself in front of Annie. “She’s gone.”

Annie glanced up. “I assume we’re talking about Kellen?”

“Of course we’re talking about Kellen. The woman who’s driving us all crazy. Yesterday she’s running a fever of 104 and today she’s gone walkabout. Never mind there’s someone out there the FBI thinks is after her, wanting to kill her.” She stared at Annie for a moment and realized how calmly she was taking this turn of events. “You’re not surprised, are you?”

“She’s not done it often, but Kellen has gone walkabout a time or two in the past few years. That’s a great term for it, by the way.” Annie smiled.

“So what are we going to do?”

“Nothing. We just wait.” Annie’s voice was as calm as her expression. “She’ll be back when she’s in a better place in her head, when she’s ready to deal with whatever’s going on. In the meantime, I’ve told the teams just enough to satisfy them. That Kellen’s been grounded as a precaution because it appears her shooter might be coming back to finish what he started. They understand all too well she’ll be frustrated, but they all support the decision. No one wants a reprise of the events from a year ago.”

Dana swallowed hard and a soft groan escaped her lips as she looked out the window. The snow had been falling all day, with that slow steadiness and determination she was told made the natives in Haven and nearby communities check their supplies of candles and firewood. The kind of weather perfect for staying inside, not roaming through backcountry.

“Then I guess we wait.”

As night descended, Kellen’s arms ached, her head throbbed, and she was bone-deep exhausted.

Pain was something she could normally ignore. Another lesson she’d learned long ago. But what was different this time, and what she wasn’t certain she could ignore for much longer, was the weakness inside her. The feeling that someone had carved a gaping hole in the center of her life and left her to bleed out.