Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy (3 page)

Grandma Miller looked proud of herself.

“It’s called a largemouth bass,” she said. “He’s a beaut, isn’t he?”

“He
is
, Grandma! He is a beaut! Look at how shiny his skin is! Let’s name him Sparkle! Want to? Huh, Grandma? Want to name him Sparkle?”

Grandma Miller laughed.

“Name him whatever you want, sweetie,” she said. “We’ve got three more in the truck just like him. Come on, everybody.Come see them.”

That’s how come Mother and Daddy went out to the truck.

Only not me.

’Cause I wanted to stay with Sparkle, that’s why!

I waved at that guy in the ice water.

“Hello, Sparkle. How are you today?” I said. “I am fine. Are you fine, too?”

I patted his head.

“Want to swim, Sparkle? Huh? Want to swim in the freezy water?”

After that, I got down on my knees. And I swimmed him all around.

“I wish you were my fish, Sparkle. If you were my fish, I would take you to school for Show and Tell. And you would be the star of the show.”

Just then, I got goosebumps on my skin.

’Cause that was the bestest idea I ever heard of!

“Sparkle! Hey, Sparkle! Maybe you can come to Pet Day with me! ’Cause you
are way better than my pet jar!”

After that, I lifted that big guy right out of the water.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause Sparkle fell on the floor.

“Oh dear,” I said. “You are a chubby one, Sparkle. And so how will I even get you to school? That’s what I would like to know.”

Just then, I saw Tickle’s dog leash.

It was hanging over the chair.

I danced all around the kitchen.

“A leash, Sparkle! A leash is the answer to our problem!”

After that, I quick grabbed the leash. And I put it over Sparkle’s head. And I pulled him all around the floor!

He slided as easy as pie!

Just then, the back door opened.

“JUNIE B. JONES! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”

It was Mother.

She was back from the truck, apparently.

“I think I am sliding Sparkle,” I said kind of nervous. “We are practicing for Pet Day.”

Mother shook her head real fast.

“Oh no. No way, missy. You are
not
taking that fish to Pet Day,” she said.

“Yes, Mother! Yes way! I
have
to! I have to take Sparkle! I love this slippery guy! Please, Mother? Please? Please?”

Mother did some deep breathing.

Then she sat down next to me. And she made her voice not yell.

“Okay. I want you to listen to me very closely,” she said. “I know you like this fish.
And I know you would like to take him to school for Pet Day. But Pet Day is for
live
pets, Junie B. And maybe you don’t realize this…but the thing is, honey…Sparkle is
dead.
“

I nodded my head.

“Not a problem,” I said.

Mother did a frown.

“Not a problem? What do you
mean
‘not a problem’? Of course it’s a problem. You can’t take a dead fish to school.”

I raised my eyebrows at her.

“How come? Is it in the rules?” I asked.

“No. Of course it’s not in the rules,” said Mother.

I smiled.

“Good. Then I can take him,” I said.

After that, Mother stared at me a real long time.

Then she closed her eyes.

And she put her head on her place mat.

And she didn’t eat her stew.

Grandma Miller stoled Sparkle!

She waited till I took my bath.

Then she sneaked into the kitchen.

And she took Sparkle home with her!

I runned all around in a tizzy.

“SHE STOLED HIM! GRANDMA MILLER STOLED SPARKLE! AND NOBODY EVEN STOPPED THAT WOMAN!”

Mother said to quiet my voice.

“Your grandmother did not
steal
Sparkle, Junie B. She caught him at the lake. That fish was hers, remember?”

She picked me up and carried me to bed.

“You’re just going to have to accept this, Junie B.” she said. “You cannot take a dead animal to school for Pet Day. End of story.”

After that, she kissed me good night on my cheek.

And guess what?

I did not kiss back.

On Monday morning, Grampa Frank Miller babysitted me before school.

I did not speak to that guy.

’Cause he is married to the thief of Sparkle, that’s why.

I ate my breakfast very silent.

Grampa Miller looked at my pet jar on the counter.

“Boy oh boy. Look at those ants, would you?” he said. “They’re always on the go, aren’t they?”

He squinted his eyes at them.

“What’s that they’re carrying around on their heads?”

I did a frown.

Then I thought very careful. ’Cause the cheese puff was already gone. And so what could they be carrying?

Just then, my eyes got big and wide.

’Cause I had a bad feeling about this situation, that’s why.

I runned to my jar speedy fast.

“OH NO!” I hollered. “OH NO! OH NO! IT’S BUZZY THE SWATTED FLY!”

I quick took off the lid.

“PUT HIM DOWN! YOU PUT HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW! AND I
MEAN
IT!”

The ants did not obey me.

That’s how come I zoomed them out to the grass. And I shaked them right out of my jar.

“GO HOME ANTS!” I hollered. “YOU GO HOME THIS VERY MINUTE!”

The ants went home.

I brushed my hands together very proud.

’Cause I saved Buzzy, that’s why.

After that, I reached in the grass and picked up my jar. Only something did not feel right, exactly.

I looked inside of it.

Oh no!

It was empty!

All of the dirt was gone!

And Noodle was gone, too!

“NOODLE!” I shouted. “NOODLE! NOODLE! WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?”

Then I crawled all over in the grass. And I searched and searched and searched.

But I never saw Noodle again.

I cried on my bed for a real long time.

“Pet Day is ruined! It’s ruined! It’s ruined! It’s ruined!”

Grampa Miller looked all over the house for pictures of Tickle.

He taped some on cardboard. And brought them to my room.

“Look,” he said. “This doesn’t look too bad, does it?”

I raised my sagging head off the pillow.

Then I looked at the pictures. And I patted him real gentle.

“You did your best, old man,” I said very soft.

Grampa Miller rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. I looked up there, too. But I didn’t see anything.

After that, I got out of bed. And I dressed myself for school. And I walked to the kitchen very slumping.

Grampa Miller made me a turkey sandwich.

“What do you want to drink?” he asked.

I did a sad sigh.

“Orange juice, please,” I said.

Grampa Miller opened the refrigerator.

“Hmm…orange juice, orange juice…I don’t see any orange juice,” he said.

I went over and helped him look.

We couldn’t find the orange juice anywhere. Not even in the freezer.

Just then, my grampa moved the frozen vegetables.

And guess what?

My heart almost stopped breathing!

’Cause I couldn’t believe my eyeballs, that’s why!

“GRAMPA MILLER! GRAMPA MILLER! DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? DO YOU, HUH? DO YOU? DO YOU?”

Grampa Miller looked closer.

“Well, I don’t see any orange juice. That’s for sure,” he said.

I danced all around the room.

“NO, GRAMPA! NOT ORANGE JUICE! A PET! I SEE A PET FOR PET DAY! SEE IT, GRAMPA? SEE IT IN THERE?”

Then I clapped my hands real joyful!

And I skipped to the freezer!

And I grabbed it right off the shelf!

Pet Day in Room Nine was very exciting!

There were cages with furry animals. And bowls with fish. Plus also there was a snake. And a hermit crab. And a rooster.

“That rooster is
mine
,” said that meanie Jim I hate. “He will peck your head off if I tell him to. He will peck it right into a nub.”

I made a sick face. ’Cause a nub does not sound pleasant.

Just then, Lucille skipped over to me.

“Look, Junie B.! Look at my darling riding
outfit! See my darling riding hat? And see my darling riding pants? And look, Junie B.! Here’s a picture of my darling pony! And look at my darling riding boots! They are genuine rawhide cowhide!”

I smiled very admiring.

“You are a beaut, Lucille,” I said.

Grace pulled on my arm.

“Junie B.! Junie B.! Come see Slicky! He’s my goldfish, remember? I bought him a brand-new bowl! Come see it! Come see it!”

Just then, my teacher clapped her loud hands together.

“Boys and girls! Everyone needs to sit down right now! What an exciting day we’re going to have in Room Nine today!”

We hurried up and sat.

Mrs. pointed to the pet table in the back of the room.

“Who would like to go first?” she asked. “Who would like to introduce us to their pet?”

“ME!” I shouted. “ME! ME! ME!”

Then I springed right out of my seat.

But Mrs. said
sit down
to me. And she called on Crybaby William. ’Cause that guy never springs, that’s why.

William went to the pet table.

He pointed to his bullfrog named Wendell.

“I just got him on Saturday,” said William very shy.

Mrs. smiled.

“Well, he certainly is a
handsome
bullfrog,” she said. “Would you like to take Wendell out of his tank for us, William? Would you like to show the children how to hold a bullfrog?”

Then William’s face got whitish and sickish. And he started sweating a real lot.

That’s how come Mrs. had to put a wet towel on his head. And she said he didn’t have to hold Wendell.

Charlotte went next.

She showed us her bunny named Slippers.

She carried him all around the room.
And she let us pet his head.

Slippers smelled like stinky feet.

After Charlotte came Paulie Allen Puffer.

He showed us his parrot named Pirate Pete. Only too bad for Pirate Pete. ’Cause he kept on saying a bad word. And he wouldn’t even stop. And so Mrs. had to send Pirate Pete to the office.