“I don’t know why you came here.” Over and over, Tonya saw Corban’s sweatshirt with the bloodstains around the neck. He was dead. The sheriff had said the case was now a homicide investigation and Wade was the main suspect.
Tonya had to sit there listening to that mean bitch detective telling her how Wade murdered Corban, and almost everything he’d said to her and the police was a lie. They’d found Corban’s clothes where Wade’s truck was seen by the state patrol. He even admitted he’d gone to Cahone when they said. According to the detective, that meant he was out getting rid of Corban’s body when he’d told Tonya he was at home.
They said he’d tried to make it look like the goat’s head boys took Corban. They’d thrown that goat’s head into her living room, but Wade had moved it to the front yard and taken the rug out of her bedroom to hide the bloodstain. The detective, who Wade said must be a lesbo because look at her muscles, went on about a police dog that could smell where dead bodies had been and how dogs like that didn’t make mistakes. She showed Tonya a video of the dog making its special signal in the backseat of Wade’s pickup.
What Tonya couldn’t stop thinking about was that Wade had brought her home to an empty house, but told her Corban was asleep in bed. And she hadn’t looked. She would never know for sure what was true because she hadn’t even thought about going into Corban’s room to check. All the detectives said she’d given her baby to a killer. How could she live with that?
Now she had the chance to make up for it. She was wearing a tape recorder, and the police were listening in on her conversation. She was supposed to act natural and try to get Wade to confess. But how did you act natural with the person who’d killed your son?
They said start out reluctant. Make him do the work.
“This is so fucked up,” she mumbled.
Sitting a few feet away, Amberlee gave Wade a dirty look and said, “This is my home and you’re not welcome in it.”
Tonya hadn’t told Amberlee about the tape recorder, but one of the TV people had said it would look bad if they let Wade stay after he was let out. Amberlee didn’t want to piss them off. She had an agent now and was going to do an exclusive interview on TV. She said they could make five times as much if Tonya used her brains and agreed to be on the show as well.
Wade said, “I got nowhere else to go.”
“What about your buddies?” Tonya asked.
“Come on, babe.” He reached for her hand, but Tonya snatched it away and covered her face.
“I saw the clothes. God, Wade. What did you do? He’s just a baby.”
“I didn’t do anything. You have to believe me. I know how it looks, but I swear. I never touched a hair on his head.”
Tonya lifted her head. “Why did you tell all those lies?”
“You gotta understand something. When he hurt himself, I got scared. Real scared.” Sobs rattled their way from Wade’s chest to his throat. “I thought you’d never marry me then, because I’d be a useless dad that let his kid get hurt.”
“Marry you?” Even though she was feeling devastated, Tonya’s heart gave a small joyful leap.
Wade had always had a lot of girlfriends, and he never stayed with any of them for more than a few months. She had no idea he was serious about her, and it changed something. She thought, what if they’re wrong? The police made mistakes all the time. Men were in prison for crimes they never committed. Now that there was DNA testing, they were letting out innocent people all the time.
“I was going to ask you this weekend,” he said hoarsely. “I’ve been looking for a job in Denver. I was going to get us a place of our own.”
“You never said anything.”
“It was gonna be a surprise. Now our whole life is ruined because they let Gums Thompson out on the streets and that fucking nutjob doesn’t take his meds.”
“The police say he didn’t do it,” Tonya said nervously.
“How do they know? You think he’d confess? He’s a fucking psycho, and I’m your boyfriend that loves you. Who do you trust, me or him?”
When he put it like that, Tonya couldn’t argue. She could see why he was upset. He had a job and was making plans for the future, then all this happened. Gums Thompson should be locked up. Tonya felt angry then, and realized the police had already made their minds up and they wanted her to help them send Wade to prison. She was being used.
She said, “I wish you’d just told the truth right from the start.”
“Who would have believed me?”
“Don’t you trust me?” Tonya felt hurt. She looked over at Amberlee, but she could tell she wasn’t going to get any support there.
Amberlee glared at her and said, “What about the clothes?”
“Did it ever occur to you two silly bitches that I’m getting framed,” Wade whined. “I’ll tell you what really happened. Those guys were watching your house, and they waited till I went out, then one of them followed me. There was a car behind me the whole way out there. The reason I stopped in Cahone was to see who it was. But he drove away before I got a look at him. They knew I was in Cahone, and that’s why they dumped the clothes out there.”
“Did you tell the cops about that?”
“What’s the point? They’ve been out to get me from the second we walked in the door. They always think the boyfriend did it.”
“But you could clear your name,” Tonya objected.
“I tried telling them about Gums.” Wade looked like a dog someone had kicked. “They weren’t interested. They want a scapegoat.”
“Why should we believe you?” Amberlee ranted. “If you had nothing to hide, why all the bullshit? Why’d you make up that story about the hospital? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yeah, well you would say that.” Wade sneered. “It pissed you off when I started going out with your sister. Did you tell her you were trying to get me in bed before that?”
Amberlee shook her head. “He’s lying again,” she told Tonya. “He thinks he can turn us against each other.”
Wade stared into Tonya’s eyes and said, “She told me she’d pay you back one day for taking Dan off her. Maybe you should be asking
her
where Corban is.”
“Is that true?”
“Don’t be stupid. You’ve known me your whole life and you believe
him
?”
Tonya stared down at her hands, miserably aware of the recording device inside her clothes. The police were hearing all this family bickering, and they’d probably take it the wrong way. She thought about the blood on Corban’s clothes. Something awful had happened to him. Whoever took him had hurt him.
A sob rose inside of her and she said, “He’s out there somewhere. I just want him found. I want to bury him properly, with his toys and everything.”
It was hard to say that when she kept hoping it wasn’t true and praying there would be a miracle. But she knew deep inside that it was too late for miracles. Her son was dead, and all she wanted was for this nightmare to end. She tried to see herself in a year’s time, all of this behind her. But the only image she could make out in the fog of her thinking was one of her in a wedding dress. She was not going to wear white. It made her look fat.
Wade took her hand. “Listen to me, baby. If I was guilty do you think I’d have told the cops I was in Cahone? Do you think I’d have let them search my truck? Fuck no. I’d have got myself a lawyer and I’d be taking the fifth. Instead I cooperated. Big mistake.”
He looked like a frantic puppy dog, just wanting her to pat him. He wasn’t the perfect male, but he had a job and he wanted to marry her. Most of the guys she dated were losers. Tonya weighed things up for a few seconds and realized that if she didn’t have Corban anymore, even though that was an unbelievable nightmare, she could move to Denver and start a whole new life. If she couldn’t get a job in television, she would go to beauty school and learn makeup. Cortez sucked. She could hardly wait to leave.
Standing up, she reached a decision and said, “Gotta go potty.”
Once she got inside the bathroom, she pulled the wires out and tore away the tape that hugged the device to her body. This had gone far enough. Until the police proved something, she owed Wade her support, and he was going to get it. She sat down on the toilet and peed. These days she was going all the time. It had to be nerves. After she flushed and washed her hands, she went into the spare room and threw the tape recorder under the bed.
When she got back to the living room, Amberlee had one of her arms around Wade’s shoulders, comforting him. Tonya knew it was innocent, but she felt jealous anyway, especially after the stuff Wade had said about Amberlee trying to seduce him. Tonya made a point of standing between the two of them so Amberlee had to back off.
“I’ve got an idea,” she said, wiping the tears that kept popping from the corners of her eyes. “I’m going out there to show my support in public. I’m going to tell them my fiancé had nothing to do with it and if there’s any more harassment by the police, we’ll get a lawyer.”
Wade’s eyes glowed at her, soft with love. “Are you for real?”
“I love you, ding dong,” Tonya choked.
“I love you too. You know I didn’t do it, don’t you, babe?”
“Yes,” Tonya said softly. They were both crying.
“I think we should go out there as a family,” Amberlee said. “All together, supporting each other.”
Wade nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. Get that on TV instead of the false allegations.”
Amberlee grabbed Tonya’s arm and pulled her into the master bedroom. She opened her top drawer and foraged in a trinket box. “Here. Put this on.”
“What is it?” Tonya couldn’t see what she was holding.
Amberlee opened her hand triumphantly. “Your engagement ring. Remember I took it for safekeeping when Matt was making all those threats.”
Tonya didn’t, but she’d been binging on Southern Comfort at the time, so she took Amberlee’s word for it. She rubbed the ring against her skirt to shine it up and slid it onto her finger.
“I hope Wade’s okay about it being another man’s ring,” she said as they stepped back into the living room.
Wade was on his feet. He looked happier than she’d ever seen him. “I’ll buy you a new one soon as this blows over,” he said, dismissing her worries. “With a bigger diamond.”
Tonya slid her arm into his and they kissed just as Amberlee threw open the front door. The three of them stood together, Wade in the middle.
Feeling more confident than she had in two days, Tonya announced as loudly as she could, “There’s a man with mental health problems that has a personal vendetta against my family. It’s him the police should be talking to. My fiancé was released today, and as far as I am concerned, he had nothing to do with my son’s kidnapping.”
Someone shouted above the din, “Have the police ruled you out as a suspect, Mr. Miller?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Wade said.
“Tonya referred to you as her fiancé. Is that official?”
Wade lifted Tonya’s hand and showed off the ring. “I just asked her and she said yes.”
Tonya could hear Suzette Kelly talking to the camera no more than a foot away. “This evening Tonya Perkins is standing by her man. The newly engaged couple have just appeared in front of Amberlee Foley’s residence to make the announcement.”
She pushed the microphone under Tonya’s nose and asked, “Tonya, what made you say yes to a man the police have named as their primary suspect in the homicide of your son?”
“They don’t know Wade like I do. I love him and…” Tonya hesitated, giving room finally to a suspicion that had hovered in the back of her mind over the past few days. “I’m carrying his baby.”
This met with a loud gasp followed by the first hush Tonya could remember since everything began.
“You’re pregnant?” Amberlee’s voice sounded weak. She seemed as shocked as the reporters.
Tonya leaned into Wade’s embrace and lowered her hand to rest on her belly. She caught his eye, and he gave her the hot, bad-boy grin that always made her heart beat faster.
Placing his hand over hers, he said proudly, “I fucking knew it. I’m gonna be a dad.”
Chapter Twelve
A pink pallor bloomed across the pewter sky. Shafts of light pierced the cliff tops, finding every fissure and carving out deep rivers of bright pink and gold. The sun floated higher until it could cast half an eye over the earth’s body, painting each contour with the bright transient halo of dawn, the pledge of a newborn day.
The sight filled Jude with hope and foolish optimism. Yesterday was done. Today was hers; she’d earned it by waiting out the night with all its fears and gloom. She continued to watch the sun slowly climb above the mountains, assembling its fractured beams all at once into a perfect whole. Below, the world emerged from shapeless shadow to form and beauty. Snow sucked light until it glowed along the mesa ridges and ran like shimmering treacle down to the land below. There it massed in a heavy quilt unstirred by the body beneath, that of Mother Earth.
Still as a painting in morning repose, the canyon lands stretched out in an unclaimed wilderness as close to eternal as Jude could conceive. Could humanity ever sully this perfection beyond recognition? No, Mother Earth would fight back. She already was, and climate change could be her ultimate revenge, the retaking of her body from those who abused it.