No new messages.
Johnny frowned. Maybe she was just studying late.
He tried not to let it bother him that she hadn’t called or texted, but he worried that she would think he was blowing her off. After they got back to the house, he’d have to make sure things were okay between them.
He turned to walk back to the bar but stopped when loud voices caught his ear. Always on alert, Johnny turned and watched as a man and woman struggled outside a restaurant. The blond woman slapped the man hard, but it only seemed to anger him when he gripped her with his other hand.
It took a moment for him to realize what was happening, but when he did, Johnny sprinted toward them.
“Hey,” he shouted.
The man looked over to him, and it dawned on him just who was being shaken. Johnny was pissed a man would put his hands on a woman like that, but pure raged filled him when he realized who the blond woman was.
His fist connected with David’s face a moment later, and the prick went down like a sack of potatoes.
His fingers twitched, and he almost regretted not hitting him harder. He’d held back. It was one of the first things they taught you in the SEALs, restraint.
His body was a weapon, and he knew he could do a lot of damage if he didn’t restrain himself. But it took yever damn ounce of him not to beat the ever loving shit out of the bastard. It was only luck that Trent hadn’t been with him. He doubted his friend would have been able to hold back seeing his sister treated like that.
“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer,” David said as he wiped his bloody nose with the sleeve from his shirt.
Johnny opened his mouth to reply but stopped when Maddy stepped in front of him.
“And you’ll be hearing from mine. I’m sure the law school would love to know about someone with a record for leaving bruises on woman and assaulting them.”
David’s face paled as he scrambled to stand. The small man glared over at Johnny.
“To hell with both of you,” David said and backed down the side walk. “You and your thug boyfriend deserve each other, you bitch.”
Johnny curled his fingers into fists and considered going after David again, but stilled at Maddy’s touch.
The other man ran away.
Johnny turned Maddy into his arms and sighed. The adrenaline still pumped hard through his veins.
He pulled back to stare down at her. “What the fuck were you doing here with him?”
All this time he’d been worried that he was wrong for going out with the guys, but she’d had no problem going on a date with that prick. Wounded didn’t even begin to describe his pain.
“What?” she said. She looked up to him. Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I’m not around, so you go running back to him?”
He wanted to stop himself, but the words just poured out.
Maddy pushed away from him and glared up at him.
“Are you serious right now? You show for a week after three years of waiting and then expect me to just be at home waiting for you?” She shook her head. “Screw you.”
Johnny frowned. He hadn’t been clear about his intentions with her. He was being confusing. Damn it.
“I care about you,” he said. “I have always cared about you.”
She shook her head and let the tears fall freely now.
“If you really cared for me, why didn’t you ever write back?” Her words came out in a choked sob.
Johnny stepped forward, but she backed away and placed a hand on his chest to push him back.
“No,” she said. “I can’t do this anymore. I just want to go home. I’m tired of getting jerked around and made to feel like crap by men.”
She hurried away from him. He stood there, staring as she made her away around the corner of the building to the parking lot.
The full force of her rejection crashed over him.
Chapter Thirteen
Maddy heard her brother’s car as it pulled into the driveway, but she didn’t bother to get up to look.
Who cared?
So what if Johnny had come to her rescue with David when the first thing out of his mouth had been to accuse her of playing them both.
It wasn’t just assholish; it was cruel, especially considering how long she’d held on to her love for him.
She didn’t break up with one controlling jerk just to move into a relationship with another.
No. Just no. All those years of loving him and then even more trying not to love him had taken their toll. He couldn’t just step into her life when he felt like it and expect her to fall at his feet.
Fuck that noise. Fuck Johnny.
She snuggled under her blanket, now far more comfortable in her light gray cotton tank and shorts. A glass of red wine sat on the table, mostly untouched. When she’d come home, it seemed like the best option, but now she wasn’t as interested in getting drunk.
With the TV on low and a warm blanket, she was content to be cocooned in a miserable ball on the couch.
The sound of footsteps hammered into the quiet room.
Maddy glared at the door. She knew who it was and wasn’t really interested in seeing him at the moment unless it involved throwing her wine glass at him.
“I know you’re in there,” Johnny said from outside the door. “Just open up for a sec.”
Annoyed that he even bothered to come by, she tossed off the blanket and stomped over to the door. She threw it open.
Johnny stood there looking as amazing as every other time she saw him.
She glared at him. “What?”
He thrust forward a box she’d failed to notice in his hands.
Maddy popped the lid off as he made his way down the stairs.
Letters. All the letters she’d sent him were right there, their pages worn from being read so many times. Next to them lay sealed envelopes with her name written on each one in his handwriting.
“What’s this supposed to mean?”
Johnny stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up to her.
“You said I didn’t care. I didn’t write.” He took a couple steps up as he spoke. “I did write. I just didn’t send them.”
She sat down on a step, in part because her legs had grown weak from his words, but mostly so she could open the letter from him shortly after he’d left.
Her hands shook as she read over the letter. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring the words on the page.
Everything she’d ever wanted to hear from him was right there on that page, all the words that she’d dreamed of him saying to her.
Maddy laid the letter in her lap and found Johnny moved to just a few steps below her. He sank down beside her.
“Why?”
The word shook as she spoke it. There was so much emotion spilling over inside of her that any more she worried might turn into full-on sobbing.
Johnny ran a hand through his sandy brown hair and took a deep breath. “I was going off to the desert. Had no idea how long I’d be there or if I’d even be coming back.”
He looked away as he spoke and Maddy had the strong urge to hold him. To tell him everything was going to be all right, but she needed to hear him. To know why.
“You just got out of school,” he said, “and were getting ready to start college and move on with your life. How was I supposed to ask you to wait for me?”
He turned his hazel eyes to her, and she could see the truth in his concerns.
Johnny looked down and picked at the hole in the knee of his jeans. “Besides, you all are like my family. I didn’t want to fuck things up and risk losing everything.”
Maddy leaned forward. She needed to hear it all. “And now?”
Johnny stared at her for a moment. She could feel how hard it was to tell her his feelings. Over the years of dealing with her father and brother, Maddy learned that men like them would much rather bottle it all up.
“I want the chance,” he said quietly. “The chance to try with you. I know it’s asking a lot, but you’ve been on my mind all these years. Now I can finally be the sort of man you deserve in your life. I can give you the attention and respect you deserve.”
She looked down at the box of letters and then back to him. All this time he’d been wanting her right back but was never able to take that step.
She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit annoyed with him for not just being honest from the start.
Still, she could see his point of view. He had been shipping off, and Maddy knew from Trent how dangerous some of their missions were. Being among the best of the best didn’t guarantee that a Navy SEAL wouldn’t be killed.
After placing the lid back on, she stood and waited for him to stand as well.
“Thank you for telling me,” she said quietly.
Johnny gave a small nod. He turned around. She nearly turned to the door herself but stopped.
No. Not this way. This didn’t feel right. Not that she really knew how she was supposed to act having all this dumped on her, but all she did know was that she didn’t want her night to end like this.
“Wait,” she said.
Johnny stopped and turned back to look at her.
Maddy placed the box in front of her and used it as a sort of shield. “Maybe you want to come in for a glass of wine while I read these?”
He raised a brow in surprise but took a step forward. “I’d like that.” He stepped past her and quietly took his place on the couch.
Silently she cursed herself. Opening the door to Johnny was dangerous for her heart, and she wasn’t sure she could take another heart break with him.
She wouldn’t deny there was a strong connection between them, but that might not be enough. Some wounds you might never recover from.
Sucking in a breath, she closed the door and looked back at him on the couch. Their gazes locked, and she knew none of it mattered, all her reasons, concerns.
It was long too late. Her heart already belonged to Johnny.
Chapter Fourteen
Johnny sat there on the couch next to Maddy, quietly sipping the red wine, secretly wishing for a beer and watching some chick flick that had been playing when he came in while she read his letters.
He hadn’t expected she’d want to read them right in front of him.
All these years he’d been pouring his heart out onto the papers she now held, and never once did he think he would be in the same room if he actually had the balls to give them to her. Now here he was, not quite sure if he made the right choice but not really wanting to take it back either.
Occasionally she would sniff or give a little chuckle, but for the most part, Maddy read the letters in silence.
It was maddening. Johnny wanted a signal, something, anything, that would give him an indication as to how she felt about what she was reading. He needed to know so that he could prepare to deal with the fall out.
All of a sudden, she stuffed the last letter back in the box and set the whole thing down on the table. She turned to stare at him.
He looked over to her, not really sure what to expect.
“You’re an idiot,” she said.
He frowned. Out of everything he imagined her saying to him, that possibility had never occurred to him. He still wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Johnny opened his mouth to respond but was even more surprised when she launched herself forward and pressed her mouth against his.
He wasn’t sure what the hell was happening, but it didn’t seem like the moment to question things.
Her kiss was forceful. Hungry, really. Unlike the last few times when they had kissed and he had been in charge, Maddy was in total control, and he was totally fine letting her have that. For now, at least.
With ease she slipped her leg over his and straddled his lap. Johnny struggled to gain some small composure in the backdrop of the sudden passion. He didn’t mind her taking charge, but right now he was feeling more like the excited teen that just wanted to jump to third base. But he wanted to make the passion last.
As if she read his mind, Maddy pulled back and tossed off the soft gray cotton shirt. He blinked twice as he was suddenly staring at two tight pink nipples pointed directly at him. Third base called him again.
“Fuck me,” he groaned, his cock now rock hard.
Maddy leaned forward to place little kisses all over his mouth.
“I planned on it,” she mumbled. “And more.”
His cock twitched against the zipper in his pants at her words.
She continued kissing along his jaw until she reached his ear. She nipped his ear lobe.
“You really are an idiot,” she mumbled again.
This pillow talk was taking a very odd turn. He knew how to respond to her kisses, her comments about him being an idiot, not so much. Might as well just roll with it.
“I know,” he said when she sucked on the soft skin just below his ear.
Her fingers tugged at the hem of his shirt and quickly lifted it off. Once again they were together, skin against skin.
He loved the delicious way her pert nipples scraped against his chest. The friction put all of his senses on high alert.
She slipped back a little, and he frowned. More than anything he wanted her planted firmly over him, to feel her as she ground herself against him.
Johnny looked up to find her hungry gaze roving over him.
“I would have waited for you,” she whispered.
It took a moment for him to realize she was talking about the letters.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he said. “It wasn’t fair to you. I didn’t even know if I’d come back alive.”
Maddy nodded, and for a moment, he thought she might be finished with their play. His hands twitched to pull her close to his body and never let her go, but he couldn’t do that. If she chose to be with him, she had to be the one to make the move. He’d lost the right to choose.
He nearly choked when she placed her hands on his chest and ran her nails lightly down. She stopped at the button on his jeans.
Her eyes found his again, and she raised a brow.
“I think I need to remind you there were two people involved in this,” she said. “You don’t get to make all the decisions about us.”
The button popped off, and she slowly pulled down the zipper. Maddy slipped off his lap and planted herself between his legs.