Johnnie (6 page)

“Don’t be a ninny, Magda. It’s worked, hasn’t it? Dorp smoked out Ottomkopf. Otto smoked out Rudolph. You’ve the Rudamian ring right now on your stunning finger, sweetheart. What is there to explain? Nary a hitch. How about a little toastie?”

“Ruprecht!”

Johnnie ducked back fast. He took a bite of éclair, a big one. That was the glint in the voice. But she didn’t follow it up with a bawling out. There was silence, so much silence he could hear himself swallowing chocolate custard. Maybe they were sneaking up on him right now. He crammed the last end of éclair in his mouth and, braving it, peeked. He almost choked. You couldn’t have wedged a hair off Magda’s head between those two!

He couldn’t move. That was a clinch that was a clinch. And the kiss that went with it could have taught Gable and Turner plenty. But Johnnie wasn’t the only appreciative audience.

In the doorway stood Trudy.

Trudy didn’t look particularly surprised, nor particularly angry. She was just plain disgusted. She ought to have coughed or something to let on to the hot cargo that she was present. Of course, so should he, Johnnie, but that was different. He hadn’t barged in on them; he was here first. The strain was getting him. Something had to break up that clutch. If Magda didn’t open her eyes pretty soon and see that look on Trudy’s mouth, he’d drop the encyclopedia and take the consequences.

He relaxed when Trudy said one word. “Cut.”

Ruprecht beat Magda to it. He swung around as if he’d been kicked in the pants. Magda just tossed back her head and ran her hands down her hips. Johnnie didn’t whistle. He chewed.

Ruprecht said, “For God’s sake, Trudy. You should be belled.”

Trudy didn’t pay him any heed. She kept her eyes on Magda. Her mouth was curled up. “I thought I’d find you here. And I thought you’d be at it.”

Magda said, “Sneak.”

“Rudolph is waiting for you. He’s going to make a speech.” Her little smile wasn’t friendly. “Hand in hand with his betrothed. You’d better snap out of it. Maybe Rudolph can’t make with the pash like Rupe but he is the oldest. And he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

Magda begged eagerly, “You mean he’s going to announce—”

“At Ferenz’s special request. And you’d better get that kissed look off your mouth. Rudolph is dumb but not that dumb.”

Magda remarked while she did repair work, “You’re a nasty little twirp and you always were.” She replaced the mirror and lipstick in her purse. “See you later, Rupe.” She sailed out of the room like a queen on a hurry call.

Trudy stood aside for her to pass. She made a good Bronx sound before Magda was out of the doorway. The way she slammed the door after her nearly jiggled the book off Johnnie’s lap.

“Now see here, baby mine,” Ruprecht began.

Trudy stomped. “I’m not your baby. Definitely not. I knew you’d wolf after almost anything in skirts but I did think you’d draw the line at that one.”

“Now, honey.”

“And don’t honey me!” Trudy shouted. “Honey her. I don’t care. You know she’s a no-good slut but if that’s what you want you can have it. All I want is to know why you invited Rudo here tonight.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. After you promised you’d stay out of the picture. You swore to me you wouldn’t try to see him.”

“I swore I didn’t want to see him. I still don’t. He makes me sick to the entrails. And you swore you’d keep him out of my sight. Then the whole passel of you escort him here with a guard of honor.”

“You invited him.”

“I did not, baby mine.”

“He phoned you. You said come to the party. You knew he wouldn’t turn down a party. Has he ever?”

“Where do you get such silly ideas, Toots?”

“From Rudo himself.”

“He’s a filthy liar. He always was.”

“Yes? How would he know there was a party at Furry’s house if he hadn’t phoned you from the station? He just got in tonight. He’s been on a train for days. How could he know if you didn’t invite him to come?”

Johnnie had forgotten caution. He watched this openly, caramel éclair in hand and mouth. It looked as if she’d pop Rupe any minute. She was mad enough. And she was closing in.

“I give you my word, Trudy. He couldn’t have called me. I was with some friends at Twenty-One. I didn’t get back here until the party was started.” He decided, “It must have been Furry who invited him. I didn’t have a chance to chat with him until you and yours barged in.”

“Ferenz wouldn’t. He refused to put up the money to bring Rudolph to New York unless Dorp promised he shouldn’t have to lay eyes on him. He wouldn’t invite him.”

“He would if Rudo called up and announced himself. You know Furry. Etiquette. Didn’t you have anyone watching Rudolph?”

“Janssen.”

“That robot. Where was Otto?”

“He’d come up to the house earlier with Dorp to make last arrangements. Rupe, we’ve got to get Rudo out of here.”

Ruprecht was lighting a cigarette. “Take him, my little love. I don’t want him.”

“You’ll have to help. And I’m not your love. What are
you
doing here?”

That last question wasn’t to Ruprecht. It was delivered with gusto and without pleasure. Johnnie spoke through his éclair. “Who me?”

“Who else?” She came around, Ruprecht following, until she stood in front of Johnnie. He couldn’t get to his feet without dropping the encyclopedia on hers. He just sat there.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m reading the encyclopedia.” Johnnie’s dignity was marred by the mouthful of goo. “At least I was,” he swallowed. “I was before the row started.”

“Who’s he?” Ruprecht pointed. “One of Dorp’s men?”

“Yes,” Trudy said.

“No,” Johnnie said.

A discreet knock on the door ended that one. After the knock came Theo. He made a jerky bow. “His Royal Highness wishes you upstairs in the ballroom.”

“Tell him to go boil his head,” Ruprecht said pleasantly.

Theo’s pasty face grew paler at sacrilege.

“We’d better go up, Rupe.” Trudy shrugged. “We can’t afford scenes tonight.”

“I’m not going,” Ruprecht told her.

“But, Rupe—”

“I’m not going,” he repeated. “I wouldn’t listen to his crummy speech if he sent his whole bodyguard after me.”

She flared up. “So you can’t face it. Magda and Rudolph—”

Ruprecht sounded tough now. “If you don’t stop that drivel, I’ll break every bone in your—”

“I’m going.” She turned on Johnnie. “Come on, you. You’re supposed to be guarding Magda, not reading books.”

“She didn’t need me. She had two other guys.” He licked his fingers, piled up his china and let the book thump to the floor.

“She’ll need you now,” Ruprecht supplied gently. “Now that Trudy has her knife whetted.”

Trudy marched to the door, chin up. She pushed Theo out ahead of her, snapped, “Come on,” to Johnnie and continued her march without looking back.

Johnnie carried his dishes after her. He didn’t make the door. Ruprecht asked persuasively, “How about a little drink before you go?”

Johnnie turned around. Ruprecht held out one of the bottles of champagne. “I always carry a spare for emergencies like this. You don’t really want to hear that baby Führer make a pep talk, do you? Kick that door shut and set down the crockery. We’ll have one little drink. And if there’s not enough here for one little drink, we’ll buzz for more.”

Johnnie kicked the door shut. He exchanged the dishes for the bottle. Ruprecht said, “The cork’s been sprung. Do you need a glass or are you a man?”

Johnnie tipped up the bottle. He’d never tasted champagne before. He smacked his lips.

“Have a seat,” Ruprecht invited. He lounged in one corner of the couch. Johnnie took the other. “How’s about a little toast? Damn all women. I don’t like women.”

“I kinda do,” Johnnie admitted.

“What for?”

“We-l-l—”

“But that’s all,” Rupe closed that avenue. “I say damn their golden hides.” He drank. Johnnie drank. Ruprecht said, “Particularly damn Trudy.” He raised the bottle.

“I don’t know,” Johnnie dissented. “She’s a pretty cute little mouse.”

Rupe drank. “She needs beating.” He held up the bottle again. “With a club. How do you stand on damning Magda?”

“We-l-l—” Johnnie thought seriously about that. “She’s—she’s—”

“She’s a slut. Trudy’s right about that. We’ll damn Magda too.”

Johnnie drank. “Is she really going to marry that lug?”

“Sirrah, you speak of my brother! She is if she can. Wouldn’t surprise me any if she had a J. P. in the crowd just to make it legal, but quick.” Ruprecht eyed him. “Just what were you doing in here?”

“Honestly, I was reading.”

“Who sent you?”

“Nobody sent me. I came down here to find out about Rudamia and Trudamia and that Luxembourg. I never heard of them before.”

Ruprecht’s eyes widened. “For God’s sake where did you come from?”

“I’m from Texas,” Johnnie bridled. “And I still never heard of Rudamia and—”

Ruprecht murmured, “I should say in rebuttal that I have never heard of Texas. Unfortunately that wouldn’t be true. For two years I have heard nothing else but.” He clapped his hands. “‘Deep in the Heart of Texas’.” He raised his voice in song. “‘Got too much of Texas in my ha-ir.’” He eyed Johnnie carefully. “And how did you get mixed up with this den of thieves? Who are you?”

Johnnie took another swig. It was a relief to have someone to talk with at last, someone who wouldn’t shut you up every time you opened your mouth. “It just happened.”

“Spill it.”

“I was taking a subway ride. And Pudgey—Herr Dorp—was on the same subway. And I just happened to follow him.” He might as well give out with the whole works. “See, he was talking German to old Gimlet-face, the one you call Ottomkopf, and I didn’t think it was patriotic for him to be talking German, not in these times.”

Ruprecht looked kind of funny. “Otto doesn’t speak English well. It makes it difficult.”

Johnnie bristled, “I’m in the Army, see? I’m Private First Class John Brown from Texas stationed at Fort Dix in New Jersey. I didn’t like that guy talking German. I was going to tell him.” He relaxed. “Only he went in his house before I could, so I followed him.”

“How did you get in?”

“The squirt—that guy called Theo—he let me in.”

Rupe’s eyes squinted. “Go on.”

“Well, that’s when it began to happen. I was waiting to see Herr Dorp, and Trudy came in, and I fell in the paste, and she rushed me upstairs and put me in Magda’s room.”

“I trust you protected your honor,” Ruprecht peered down the mouth of his bottle.

Johnnie blushed a little. “Magda didn’t even see me. You know. She just bossed me around, made me put on this monkey suit—” He broke off, demanded, “Are these S’s?” He jabbed the silver snakes on his collar. “Because I’ve heard of the S. S.’s.”

Ruprecht sighed. “They’re an imitation.”

“What do you mean imitation?”

“Skip it. It’s a uniform, sort of private army.”

“That goon’s?”

“If by goon you are referring to my unadmired brother, Johnnie, you’re in the groove. Continue.”

He wasn’t sure yet. Even imitations wouldn’t be good. But he continued, “That’s all there is to it. Only I wanted to find out about those countries so I decided to look them up.” Intelligent, just like Bill.

“Save your eyes,” Ruprecht admonished. “I can tell you all there is to know about Rudamia and Trudamia. Rudamia is coal and iron, Trudamia is oil and mica. Divided we fall. But if Rudo and Magda get together, we aren’t divided any more.”

“You mean,” Johnnie began bug-eyed, “like in history? They get married for state reasons?”

“You don’t think she’s marrying him for his manly virtues, do you?”

Johnnie took a long drink. “What about Luxembourg?”

“Well, most people have heard of Lux. Even if they haven’t heard of Rudamia and Trudamia. They’re all down in the same neighborhood. Only Ru and Tru aren’t as big as Lux. When the Nazis rolled in—”

“You mean—”

“Don’t you read the papers? But then it wasn’t in the headlines. There weren’t any battles. The Nazis just took us over.”

“How did you get away?”

“I wasn’t there.” Ruprecht held the bottle upside down. Nothing came out. “I’ve been at Yale the last five years. Nice place, Yale. Much nicer than Rudamia. Before that, I was at Exeter.”

“I’m Texas A. and M. Or I was before the war.” Johnnie got back on the beam. “Did the Nazis take Magda’s country too? How did she escape?”

“She wasn’t there either. She’s been at Miss Featherley’s for years. That’s where they send girls with figures instead of minds. Trudy’s been at Bennington. That’s for girls with figgers and minds both.”

“And Rudolph?”

“Rudo had no yen for higher learning. He was at Biarritz when the shooting began. He took straight off for Alex, just in case. Smart lad, Rudo. Only trouble with him, he waited too long to get to the States. Only made it to Mexico.”

“He likes Mexico,” Johnnie supplied.

“Why didn’t he stay there if he likes it so well? The family has a big rancho in Mexico, belonged to an ancestor. Why go back to Rudamia? But he wants to play king.”

“That goon is really a king?”

Ruprecht took his tongue out of the bottle. “Empty. Absolutely empty. Not even an aroma. We’ll have to go for reinforcements. Unless you’d like to wait here while I get them.”

Johnnie consulted his watch. It was ten o’clock now. “I better not. I got a date with a couple of soldiers downtown. I can’t be too late. They want to go to the Stage Door Canteen. I’d better go find Magda.”

“Lay off Magda,” Ruprecht warned. He gathered up the empties; Johnnie took the crockery. “Trudy’s bad enough but Magda—she’s poison. If you really want a girl, I’ve got a list that will lay you against the ropes.”

Johnnie shook his head. “I just want to ask her something. After that I’ll tell off Herr Dorp. Then I’ll be on my way.” He remembered his manners. “I’ve enjoyed the party very much, Mr. Ruprecht. Especially the éclairs and the champagne.”

“Call me Rupe. And don’t thank me. Thank Ferenz.”

They weaved to the marble stairs, climbed fairly steadily. The ballroom was noisier than ever, climaxed around Rudolph and Magda. Rudolph was still talking. His brother said, “Sure you won’t join me in another bottle? We could split one.”