Jewel of Darkness (23 page)

“Well, it might not be the true mate bond, but it’s a start.”

Jewel stood up when Sally did. She walked over to the window as Sally went to the door. “Do you want to be left alone?”

Jewel knew what she was really asking: did she want Dalton to leave?

“No. It’s better to go ahead and face the music,” she answered as she looked out the window. The door closed behind Sally as she exited. Jewel took several deep breaths attempting to center herself and prepare herself for seeing him again. But as the door opened and his presence filled the room, she knew there was nothing she could do to prepare herself. Dalton was a force of nature. Like a tornado or hurricane, he was impossible not to notice.

Jewel began to turn slowly until she was finally facing him. She raised her head until her eyes met pale blue eyes the color of ice and just as cold. The first thing she noticed was that the markings that had shown up on his neck when they’d come in contact were still there. Again she didn’t understand what it meant. The second thing she noticed was that the man before her wasn’t the man she’d left standing in the room that Volcan had ripped her from. The man before her was dark, angry, and empty. She so badly wished she could see inside his mind to know what he was thinking as he looked at her.

“Hey,” Jewel whispered, not really knowing what else to say.

Dalton stood staring at her with an intensity that made her feel as though he could still see into her mind. She wished she could read his mind in that moment.

“You left me.” His words weren’t said as an accusation. He was just stating a fact. But she didn’t miss the hurt in his voice. “I thought you had died,” Dalton told her, his voice rough with emotion. It was the only sign of emotion she’d gotten from him since she’d laid eyes on him. His face was as expressionless as stone and his body language made it clear he was like a ticking time bomb that could go off at any minute.

“I felt the bond break,” he continued before she could address the first two statements. “And then you were gone completely. There was just nothing. The only thing I could think that would cause such a complete separation was death. Out of everything I’ve experienced in my long life, it was the single most painful thing I’ve endured.”

Jewel opened her mouth to say something but his sharp voice cut her off.

“Until I saw you yesterday with bruises―” He paused and Jewel’s heart twisted as she watched Dalton struggle to hold on to his control. “Bruises on your face, pain written in every little movement, and a new awareness in your eyes. All of this I saw, only a glimpse but it was a glimpse I was so damn thirsty for, and then you were ripped away from me.” His breathing had begun to increase as his hands fisted at his sides. “Never, ever in my long life have I ever felt such agony ― not agony for myself, but for my mate. You needed me and you wouldn’t allow yourself to be with me. You denied me the right and privilege to take care of you!” She flinched at his raised voice.

“I,” she started to try and speak again, but once again Dalton stopped her.

“What right do you have to decide what I need? This” ― he motioned between them ― “is about us. There is no longer only ‘I.’ It’s ‘we,’ you and me, a team, a partnership. I realize that I shouldn’t have let you be taken in the first place and I bear that responsibility. I should have kept you safe and I failed. I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out why you would not want to be with me, and I can only come up with two scenarios. One, you’re angry with me for letting you get captured. You hold me responsible as your rightfully should, but it’s just too much to forgive. Or two, the bond was the only thing really drawing you to me, and once it was gone, you no longer felt anything for me. I just need to know which it is, Jewel? Which reason has caused you to reject me? Which reason was the one that caused the look of fear in your eyes when I saw you yesterday? WHICH ONE?” he finally roared.

Jewel was pretty sure the house shook from the force of his voice. She’d only known Dalton a very brief time, and most of that time had been spent talking to him through a mental bond. Yet she’d never thought he would lose his cool. He always seemed so in control, so steady.

She heard footsteps on the stairs just before the door flew open. Dalton jumped, doing a 180 in the air, and landed in a crouched defensive position in front of her. He faced the intruders, and by the looks on their faces, he wasn’t exactly smiling.

“Everything okay in here?” Dillon asked in a calm, even voice. He was looking at her, which was apparently the wrong thing to do because Dalton growled and took a step toward his Alpha.

“What did you expect us to do when you roared like a feral beast?” Dillon snapped at his Beta. “We just wanted to make sure that Jewel was alright.”

“She is the only one safe from me,” Dalton told him. “It is all of you who should be worried.”

“There is no need for threats,” Lucian spoke up. “We are on your side, but just as you would protect any healer, not just your mate, we too have to protect Jewel.”

“I won’t hurt her, no matter what.”

Jewel felt as though she’d been slapped.

Peri stepped around her mate, her hands slamming down on her tiny hips. “You can just knock that crap off right now,” the fae commanded. “Before you go licking your wounds over what she did, you need to stop and consider what she’s been through. Do not assume anything, Dalton Black. Remember what I said. This is about more than just you and your hurt feelings.”

All of a sudden Jewel felt an anger rising up inside of her. She didn’t like Peri shaming her mate. His feelings were valid and he had a right to them. Jewel took a step forward so that she was standing next to Dalton. She leaned her hip against his large form, a physical reminder that she was with him. “Everything is under control here,” she said politely. “You guys can go back to whatever important things you were doing and let Dalton and me continue our conversation.”

As one by one they turned to go, Jewel had an overwhelming need to feel his arms around her, to have his scent all around her. She wanted to turn and wrap her arms around him and reassure him that she was not dead ― she hadn’t left him for good ― that she was still there, and that she still wanted to be his. But she was afraid. If he rejected her, Jewel didn’t know if she could heal from that. Once everyone was gone, she took a step back giving them both a little space. Jewel looked up at him and waited until his eyes met hers.

“I’m—” her voice cracked so she stopped and swallowed, pulling herself together. “I’m so sorry. I—”

Dalton held up his hand stopping her. He looked away as he spoke. “It wasn’t your fault. You have nothing to apologize for. I let my emotions rule me instead of logic. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” His voice had lost the passion it had held before and Jewel wanted to scream. She would rather have him yelling at her in anger than speaking to her like a cold, emotionless robot.

Despite the coolness in his voice, his words weren’t the truth. Jewel wanted his words to be true, wanted it with every fiber of her being. But it wasn’t. It
was
her fault. “You’re wrong,” she told him. “I agreed to go with him thinking I would be protecting the other girls. Instead of coming to all of you and telling you what was going on, I tried to handle it on my own.” She paused and met his eyes needing him to understand how sorry she was. “I should have trusted you.” The longer she spoke, the more disgusted she was becoming with herself. Why had she thought that she could handle one as powerful as Volcan on her own? Why had she been such an utter fool. And now
he
was inside of her. His blood flowed in her and tainted her. The tears were no longer falling one at a time. Now they fell all at once like a raging waterfall pouring down her face. Her eyesight was blurry but she still saw Dalton come closer to her with his hands reaching for her. Jewel backed up quickly.

“No, please don’t touch me.” She was so scared that if he touched her Volcan’s spell would activate. The look in his eyes at her plea was a punch to the gut. He looked as though she’d ripped his heart out and set it ablaze right in front of him. She needed to explain, needed him to understand, but she was so scared. What if he decided the curse from Volcan was too much of a risk and didn’t want to be around her? What would she do? Jewel had stupidly thought that she could walk away from Dalton. She had thought it was for the best. Once again she’d been a fool. Bond or no bond, Dalton was a part of her and she could never willingly walk away from him.

D
alton stopped in his tracks not only at her desperate plea but at the look of horror on her face. Did she feel revulsion for him now that the bond was gone? Had her feelings for him only been because of the supernatural bond that destined them for one another? He had wanted to rage because of how it had torn him apart when she left him yesterday, but Peri had taken the wind out of his sails. And now she’d just jerked away from him as though he had a disease she didn’t want to catch. The idea that she didn’t want him because she no longer loved him, or even liked him, was like a ton of bricks being dropped onto his chest. It hurt; it more than hurt. His questions didn’t remain unanswered for long as she spoke again.

“I’m not good anymore. I’m not pure.” She had to stop because a sob wrenched from her throat.

Dalton just wanted to hold her. He wanted to feel her heart beat against him, reassuring him that she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. His wolf was pacing restlessly. He didn’t care that there wasn’t a bond. He’d claimed Jewel and he would never want anyone else. Dalton, despite not feeling the supernatural pull to her, still wanted her. He felt a different kind of pull and it was all her. Jewel’s kindness, her intellect, her willingness to sacrifice for others, her beauty — inner and outer — all of it pulled him to her and he wanted it all for himself. He wanted to experience the intimacy of learning more about her, knowing things that she only would share with him. He missed the connection of their minds, but that certainly didn’t mean that he didn’t still want her.
Mate, touch, need,
Dalton’s wolf was so distraught that his thoughts would only come out in single words, making him sound like a Neanderthal ― which really wasn’t far off at this point.

Pushing all of those thoughts away, he focused on her statement.
I’m not pure.
She’d spoken the words with such horror in her voice, as though telling him caused her anguish. His blood felt as though it was lava flowing through his veins as he registered what she meant. Volcan would not just die by his hands, he would peel the flesh from his body slowly. Dalton would have caused him pain because he’d taken Jewel from him, but if he had touched her against her will, Volcan was going to beg him to end his life.

“Were you, did he?” Dalton clenched his jaw together as he attempted to get his anger under control. Once he was sort of sure that he wouldn’t phase and scare Jewel, he spoke again, “Were you forced against your will?” It was a question no man ever wants to have to ask the woman he’s sworn to protect. It was a blaring sign that reminded him of how badly he’d failed.

Jewels eyes widened. “No,” she said quickly. “No, he didn’t touch me, at least not like that. No one did.”

Dalton would like to say that his anger cooled just a little, but the terror in Jewel’s eyes kept him from being able to calm down. “What do you mean, not like that?” His wolf was so close to the surface that his voice was a low growl. He watched her closely, and though he couldn’t read her mind, he could see her thoughts all over her face. She didn’t want to tell him. It was another knife in his heart. She didn’t want to confide in him, at least not anymore. His next statement took every ounce of selflessness that he didn’t know he had. But apparently with Jewel there wasn’t much he wouldn’t give her. “If you don’t want to talk to me, if it makes you uncomfortable, I can…” ― he motioned to the door ― “I can get someone you trust to talk to.” Dalton locked down every emotion rushing through him and erected the wall that kept him from feeling. He knew his face would show no signs of the pain he was enduring. He’d perfected the ability long ago, but never thought he’d use it with his mate.

“What?” she breathed out as though he’d punched her in the stomach, forcing the air out of her. “Do you want me to talk to someone else?”

“I want you to feel safe while you are having to relive the hell you’ve been through. Since the bond that drew you to me is gone, I understand if I’m no longer the one who makes you feel safe. We haven’t known each other that long and I know for humans it takes longer to build that kind of intimacy, if they even can. Such things are instant with our true mates, as you know.” His voice sounded flat even to himself. Dalton wished desperately to be able to hear her thoughts and know her emotions as he had before.

“You think humans aren’t capable of the level of intimacy that your race has between true mates?” Her voice had taken on a biting sharpness that surprised him. It was so different from the vulnerability she’d been showing him. To his relief, he didn’t need to read her mind to know that she was well and truly pissed. “How the crap would you know?” she practically snarled at him. “Last I heard, you weren’t human. So how could you possibly know what a human is capable of feeling?”

Dalton started to speak but Jewel made a cutting motion in the air. “I’m not done. You question the depth of human emotion, so let me give you some facts about my race and our kind of love. It has been scientifically proven that falling in love causes the same euphoric sensation as taking cocaine. It has been proven that looking at just the picture of the person a human is in love with can relieve physical pain. It has also been proven that when a person who is in love loses that loved one, or is separated from them because of a break up or divorce, it can physically weaken the heart muscle.” Jewel’s voice was raising as her tirade continued.