Jett (13 page)

After dinner, I lit a fire in the massive fireplace, and we sat on the rug in front of it, sharing the things we remembered about all the years we spent together, and filling each other in about the ones we missed.

“Do you remember Field Day?” she asked, her eyes full of amusement.

“How could I forget? I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my life.”

“You were my first kiss, Colt,” she said.

“I don’t think that really counts as a kiss, Jett,” I replied, my eyes lingering on her lips, remembering the very real kiss we had shared earlier.

The fire sparkled in her eyes, and watching her smile and laugh, for once completely at ease, was absolutely mesmerizing.  She was so much more beautiful than she was when she was a kid.  I had spent so many nights stealing glances at her under the moonlight, I had memorized her face.  But not this face.  Her face now was new.  She was new.  She would never be the Jett I used to know, and that was at once uncomfortable and incredibly exciting.

She spent hours telling me about the places she had traveled to, but never got to really see much of.

“There were occasional photo ops in tourist spots, but for the most part we just traveled into a city, went to the hotel, and then the venue, and then we were on to the next, until they turned into an endless cycle of nameless places.  Half the time I don’t even know what city I’m in.”

“Don’t you miss having a home?”

“No. I mean, I still fantasize about disappearing into my cabin in the woods where nobody knows who I am, but I don’t miss having a home.  I never really had one.  You can’t miss something you never had.”

“You have a cabin in the woods?” I asked.

“Yeah, I do. About an hour outside Portland. I bought it after visiting there once, and I’ve never been able to make it back.  It’s just sitting there rotting and waiting for me.”

“That’s too bad,” I said.

The fire crackled in front of us.  She sat close to me, her breathing slow and steady.  She smelled like whiskey and lavender.  I wanted to taste her again, I wanted to hold her, and tell her I understood.  I never had a home either.  What Ciara and I had was nothing more than a lousy excuse for a place to crash.  

“Sounds like we’ve both been deprived of that feeling, of having a home to miss.”

She nodded silently, her eyes distant and lost in the fire.  I looked over at her, the amber flames flickering in them, turning her green eyes brown. 

“Beautiful…” I murmured, and she turned to look at me.  “You’re beautiful.  I hope you know that.”

An easy smile played across her face.

“Do the compliments come with your salary or are you trying to get a raise?” she asked teasingly.

“I think you already gave me a raise,” I said, my voice thickening once again with desire. 

She laughed, shaking her head, her black hair shimmering around her face making me want her even more.

I knew this whole game was useless.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back from tearing her clothes off and devouring every inch of her, but I needed to at least resist as long as I could, at least until Crazy Jack was out of our lives.   The last thing I needed to do was face him naked, with a wet, raging cock that I couldn’t keep in my pants.

I knew he was coming.  And I needed to be prepared.

Unfortunately, my swollen cock didn’t seem to understand what was required of this particular situation.

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I watched the three of them leave the next morning.  They looked so happy, it was absolutely sinful.  I had no doubt she had fucked them both, probably all night and more than once.  She had frolicked naked with them, letting them touch her, their rough, filthy hands scraping over her perfect skin. How could she let them near her?

Didn’t she know she was better than that?  I shuddered to think of them defiling her, the things they had done to her.  I bet they used her like a toy.  She probably let them call her names, and pull her hair, and push themselves into her flawless body.  

Well, almost flawless.  The dirt would wash off.

I would wash the dirt off.  No, I would scrub it off, as hard as I could until her skin was pink and shiny and new again.  Untouched, virgin skin.

My skin.

When I finally had her, once she was finally clean, she would be new again, she would be fresh, she would be innocent.  Clean.  Nothing less would do.  

No matter what it took, how much scrubbing, whatever bleaches or cleansers I needed…I wouldn’t stop until all traces of her sins were gone.

She would be my angel then.  She would be all mine.

The vibration in my pocket made me jump in my seat just as Jett and the two vile creatures she was with looked my way.  Quickly, I looked down, and fished my phone out of my pocket.  By the time I looked up, they were out of sight and the tour bus door was closing behind them.

“Yeah?” I answered, irritated to have drawn any attention to myself.

“Portland.  The Nines Hotel.”

“Got it,” I said, disconnecting the call.  I stood up and collected my things, heading out to my car.  I had a long drive ahead of me.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Kissing Colt was exactly how I had imagined it to be.  Colt pulling away, citing professional reasons?  That was not how I imagined the kiss to end.  In my fantasies, the kiss never ended, and we withered away in some far away bed, secluded from all other humans, making love until we starved to death, because we couldn’t find the will to untangle ourselves from each other long enough to find nourishment.  

It wasn’t like that, though.  And with the help of the contents of the whiskey bottle, and a few moments alone in the shower with my fingers, I was able to let it go.  For now.  Spending time with Colt was a lesson in patience, and the chemistry between us threatened to explode at any moment.  If only he would let it.  I didn’t give a shit about being professional.  I did give a shit about my safety, but now that we had Jesse, I didn’t see any reason why Colt couldn’t protect and devour my body all at the same time.

He had other plans, apparently.  Plans I didn’t agree with.  Or, maybe it was my plans that he didn’t agree with.  Either way.

What the fuck did he expect?  He was fucking smoldering, his body a sculpted masterpiece of flesh and muscles, and those fucking eyes of his seemed to have a direct line right to my clit, because all he had to do was make eye contact, and I was squirming in my leather pants and buzzing with frustration.  

And he knew it, too.

All day he teased me.  Quick touches to the small of my back as we walked out of the hotel, or grabbing my hips as he squeezed past me once we got on the bus.  The heat of his eyes followed me as I walked up and down the aisle, lingering on my hands making a drink and then staring at my legs as I settled into the leather lounge seats in the back.  He followed me back there, not talking much, but very much in my space.  I could almost get used to it.

If it weren’t for the constant, excruciating way my body was affected by his mere presence, that is.  This?  This constant yearning, this need that didn’t seem to have any way of being met that didn’t include him? This nagging desire that kept an endless loop running in my brain of the moment our lips met? I would never get used to that.

The most I could hope for was that someday, very, very soon, he would allow me to obtain some other, more satisfying loops to play in my head.

I had never wanted anyone more than I wanted Colt James.  And now that I thought about it, I had never been told no, either.  It was no wonder he was under my skin.  But with a body like that, well…fuck.  There was no hope for me.

The drive to Portland was long as hell.  Ten hours of being on the bus and sitting next to him, listening to his low vibrato that hit me right in the gut with every word, the leather-scented heat that rolled off him and right into my pants.  It was pure fucking torture.

And hell yeah…he knew it.  He loved it, I could tell.  But two could play at that game.  Did he think I couldn’t wear him down?  Did he underestimate me?  I might not have to use it often to seduce someone, but if I needed to, I could turn it on.  For fuck’s sake, I did it every night on stage.

As painful as it was to not be able to do exactly what I wanted with Colt, I was filled with a constant thread of gratitude for his presence.  And Jesse’s, too.  

After a while, Jesse joined us in the back, and it made me like him even more.  I could breath a little easier than when I was all alone with Colt.

We laughed and joked, playing cards as we headed North on the highway.  Jesse and I drank a few beers, while Colt ate everything in the refrigerator.  After a while, I retired to my bunk, hoping to get a few hours of sleep.  

I awoke to the sound of rain falling on the bus, and when I got out of my bunk, I saw it was already dark outside, even though it was only five o’clock.  Wind swept through the trees, turning the street into a frenzy of wet leaves and rain.

“I guess we’re in Portland,” I said, sarcastically to Colt, who sat in the back talking quietly with Jesse.  They looked out the windows, and laughed.

“Don’t worry, darlin’, I don’t think a little rain is gonna hurt you.  You aren’t that sweet,” Colt teased, giving me a wink from his seat. He looked so fucking handsome, it was impossible to get mad at him.

“Fuck you,” I said, mustering all the sweetness into my voice that I could.  It wasn’t easy.  My voice was usually full of torment, pain, and jagged edges.

The boys laughed, and I joined them.  We pulled up to the Moda Center, the bus entering a private gate as we drove past the ever present waiting crowd.  Despite all the intense pressure, I was grateful for the fans.  If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t have this life.  I wouldn’t have all these people that depended on me to feed their families and give them jobs.  The fans are the ones who fed this machine.  The irony of one of them wanting to kill me, or get close enough to hurt me, wasn’t lost on me.

When the bus stopped, I gathered a few things from the bus and followed the production manager inside.  I had met Harvey before, at our last show in Portland, and it was nice to see a familiar face.  He had been particularly helpful last time, helping me sneak out the back of the venue in a secret car so that I could go out and try to have a good time for a few hours after my show. 

There was something about Portland that made me want to really let my hair down, in a way no other town did.  In Portland, I just wanted to be normal, hang out at bars, meet regular people, watch some bands, go to a strip club, just party.  Last time I was here, I had done just that, and the memories that I did have of that night were fondly engraved in my brain.  

“It’s great to see you again, Jett!” Harvey said.  Harvey was a burly guy, with an unruly blonde beard to match his long blonde hair.  He was handsome, in a blue collar kind of way that appealed to me. He was solid. He looked like he’d make a good husband.