“
Yes, I am. We
’
re actually in the middle of a pretty rough divorce. I thought she was the love of my life, but I found out she was having an affair.
”
“
Oh my gosh! I am
so
sorry to hear that.
”
A wave of sadness rushes over me. I can almost see him in a whole new light. He
’
s a survivor of sorts. He looks heartbroken.
“
Thanks. I
’
m coping the best way I know how. We were married ten years, and we have two beautiful daughters. They haven
’
t been coping very well.
”
His heads droops just a little. I want to hold him and comfort him. I almost forget I
’
ve only known him a couple of hours now.
“
Yes, that must be rough on them. My parents got divorced when I was a teenager. It was the hardest time in my life, watching them fight and having my life torn apart. If I can give you any advice it would be to keep the routine as normal as possible and find a way to get along for the children
’
s sake. There
’
s nothing worse than seeing your parents go at each other
’
s throat,
”
I tell him.
“
That
’
s very true. I just want what
’
s best for them. Have you been married or have any kids?
”
he asks, turning the tables on to me. I freeze up for a moment, caught off-guard. I haven
’
t had many people ask those questions before.
I chug the rest of my beer and slam the bottle down a little too hard.
“
Nope. I
’
ve never been married and no kids.
”
He looks surprised.
“
Wow
. I
’
m shocked. A beautiful woman like you
—
I was sure someone had snagged you up.
”
I blush just a little. I have to admit, he can definitely put on the charm. If I was attracted to him, I just may have fallen for it.
“
No. Came close once, but didn
’
t work out. I
’
m married to my work, and that
’
s probably been my downfall. Men don
’
t seem to like take-charge, independent women.
”
“
Oh, I beg to differ,
”
he says.
I smile, but also realize this conversation is just getting a little too personal. I
’
m definitely at fault for this one. I should have kept the personal questions to a minimum. I look at the clock on the wall and realize it
’
s almost eight o
’
clock. I
’
ve been here way longer than I anticipated.
“
Well, it
’
s getting pretty late, and I have a day
’
s worth of information to go over.
”
“
Let me walk you out then,
”
Jonathan says, standing up from his seat.
I nod my head in agreement. My car is parked on the darker side of the building, so I
’
m thankful for his offer. We head out the side door. I bundle up as I push the door open. As soon as I step out of the door, I am greeted by two lovebirds making out against the building. I clear my throat to warn them of my presence, and just as Jonathan follows behind, placing his hand on the small of my back, the man
’
s head lifts up and meets my gaze. I pause but quickly gather my composure. It
’
s Kyle, with Elizabeth
’
s body wrapped around his and his hands all over her. She gives me a look of pure satisfaction and triumph. Him, not so much.
This is nothing out of the ordinary in a bar setting. I think I had just hoped or thought for one split second that we had a connection of some sort. That maybe for one moment he was attracted to a woman like me
—
a woman that
’
s almost ten years his senior. It made me feel young again, and a little badass, but I should have known. I must be getting old if I can
’
t even read a man
’
s vibes correctly.
Kyle immediately removes his hands, straightening himself up, and begins to unglue her body from his. I reach my car and turn to thank Jonathan. He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I get into my car. As I pull away from my parking spot, I realize I am being watched. I shake my head, reminding myself to get over my
“
boy crush,
”
and I continue to drive off. Tomorrow
’
s a new day. I have a big decision to make ahead of me, and I
’
ll be damned if I
’
ll allow my schoolgirl hormones to cloud my judgment.
CHAPTER FIVE
Kyle
Shit!
Shit!
I can
’
t believe I just allowed this to happen. What the hell was I thinking, locking lips with Beth? I knew I should have laid off on those shots. Now I have awaken the clinger and given her more of a reason to latch on. And then there
’
s Max.
Damn!
I don
’
t know why it
’
s bothering me so much, but the fact that she just saw me in that predicament is killing me. Why the hell do I care so much? I saw her eyes. I saw something that I recognized as disappointment.
I begin to walk toward her before she drives off, but Beth stops me. She grips my upper arm and pulls me back.
“
Hey, where are you going? Your car is over there,
”
she says, pointing to the main parking lot.
I watch as Max pulls off, and when I can
’
t see her taillights any longer, I begin to walk to my car. Beth follows. I turn to stop her dead in her tracks.
“
Where are you parked?
”
“
I thought I would go home with you
—”
I shake my head.
“
No, Beth. I
’
m sorry. I should have never
—”
“
Never what? Never put your tongue down my throat? Put your hands all over my body?
”
she finishes, crossing her arms and putting all of her weight on one foot.
I sigh.
“
Yes. We shouldn
’
t have done that. It was the drinks. I
’
m sorry.
”
I turn to open my car door. I hear her huff, turn, and stomp off to her car.
The night didn
’
t end up how I expected. And watching Jonathan with his hands all over Max really pissed me off. Where does that dude get off? He
’
s still freaking married. I
’
ll be damned if he
’
s going to get his claws into her.
I do have to admit, I feel a little guilty about Beth. But she threw herself at me
—
what does she expect? Does she expect me to marry her because of a kiss and some wandering hands? She already banged Matt, one of my coworkers, just a month ago to get me jealous. Did she really think having someone else inside her was going to make me want her back? Disgusting.
In order for me to get any sort of chance with Max now, I
’
m going to have to work overtime. This might just be impossible, considering how classy she seems to be. She
’
s not just some normal girl. She
’
s a woman, a woman with purpose and charge. A woman who likes to be in control instead of being controlled.
I
’
m not too sure how I feel about that, considering I
’
m always the one holding all the cards, but this change might be exhilarating and, honestly, a bit of a turn-on. I think in this case I just might allow her to think she holds all the reins. This should be interesting to see played out. I can
’
t wait to mention my plan to Jeff. He
’
s going to get a kick out of all this.
I pull up to my apartment and turn off the ignition. Before I step out of my car, I see headlights pulling up behind me through my rearview mirror. The car parks right next to mine. I look over and see Beth. My stomach drops. This is
not
good.
I step out of my car and walk around to her driver side window.
“
What are you doing here, Beth?
”
I ask, completely aggravated.
A tear slides down her cheek. Great. I hate seeing a girl cry. I never know what to do or say, and I always panic. I
’
m sure she
’
s counting on this reaction.
“
I don
’
t know. I was driving and I ended up here. I just want an explanation. What did I do that
’
s so wrong? We were so close, and then you just pushed me away without even explaining why,
”
she answers. Tears are now flowing steadily down her cheeks.
I run my hand over the top of my head, stalling to come up with a reply. I can
’
t just pinpoint
one
thing she did. It was just a feeling that came over me. She just wasn
’
t the one, and once I realized this, everything about her began to bother me. Instead of hurting her feelings, I just distanced myself, and that
’
s when her other side came out. A side I never saw, a side that she obviously kept hidden from me so I wouldn
’
t think she was crazy. Well, too late now, because I
’
ve already seen and witnessed the real her
—
and it
’
s not pretty.
Now, seeing her here uninvited and crying just proves to me that I made the right decision. I don
’
t care how fucking hot she is
—
and she is
smoking
—
it
’
s a complete turn-off. Once I
’
m turned off, there is no turning me back on.
It
’
s clear that I am going to have to be abrupt and a little painful in order to get my point across this time.
“
Listen Beth, we just aren
’
t right for each other. I don
’
t want to be in a relationship right now. You have to just accept it. We are
not
going to be together,
”
I say, raising my voice.
“
Like I said before, I
’
m sorry for earlier. It was the liquor. I know that
’
s no excuse, but it
’
s the truth. That
’
s all I got for you,
”
I say.
I wait quietly for her response as she thinks it over. She looks up at me as though the devil has just entered her body. Oh no! This is
not
good.
“
You told me I was special! You told me you cared for me!
”
“
Beth, I
did
care for you. I didn
’
t lie, but I realized we just weren
’
t meant to be! Just accept it and move on! I mean, geez, you even fucked my friend Matt for God
’
s sake! You
’
re fucking crazy!
”
I yell.
Normally, yelling at a girl is something I am extremely against, but enough is enough. I don
’
t know how else to get it through her crazy, thick head. She
’
s left me no choice.
“
I
’
m not
crazy
Kyle. I
’
m hurt. There
’
s a difference! Matt meant nothing to me. I was upset and he comforted me. That
’
s it.
”
I throw my arms up.
“
I don
’
t care! I don
’
t care who or what you fuck or why you fucked, ok? Just leave me the fuck alone! I can
’
t believe this has even gotten to this point,
”
I scream.