Jake & The Giant (The Gryphon Chronicles, Book 2) (25 page)

“What a woman,” Snorri breathed. Then he froze, as if he had not intended to say it out loud.

When the boys laughed at him, the lovelorn giant turned red and stared at his toes.

Princess Kaia chuckl
ed.

“C
ome on, Snorri!” Jake stood up and clapped his hands together, inspired. “Time to go.”

“Where?”

“We’ve got to get you signed up for this contest, of course!”

“What?”
The giant shepherd sat bolt upright, his eyes widening. “Me?”

“You heard me,” Jake replied. “You must enter this contest, Snorri, and it’s imperative you win. I don’t want Loki getting a crack at any o
f those mighty warriors, or it’ll be doomsday for us all.”

Snorri broke out into a sweat, nervously glancing back and forth from Jake to Kaia.

In truth, the great oaf was the last person in the world that the fate of the world should ever have to rest on, Jake reflected. But Snorri was too caught up in embarrassment over what this could mean for his friendship with Kaia to remember what was at stake.

No big thing, just the end of the world.

“Y-y-you wouldn’t have to marry me i-if I won, of course,” he stammered. “I would never make you. That is, y-y-you could be free.” He suddenly turned away. “Oh, this is a stupidest idea!”

“Why?” Archie asked.

“Me, win? Against all those shiny knights and princes?” Snorri threw up his hands in dismay and only managed to knock a decorative shield off the wall. “Sorry.” He bent down to pick it up, fumbling as he hung it up again. “Never happen! Not in a million, chillion years.”

“There’s no such thing as chillion,” Archie said.

“You could win, with our help,” Jake declared, while Kaia kept mysteriously quiet. “We could be your coaches, like. All those warriors brought helpers and advisers.”

“
But I’ll be a laughingstock! It’d be the joke of the year! Stinky old musk-ox me against all those heroes?” Poor Snorri was practically hyperventilating at what they were asking him to do.

“We all make fools of ourselves over something,” Jake said
in a philosophical tone. “Might as well be for a good cause.”

“H
e’s right, Snorri,” Archie encouraged him. “Do you want Her Highness to be forced to marry someone else?”

Princess Kaia gazed at her devotee
with her big, blue eyes. Snorri stared back.

“W-w-well, of course not,” he
said with a gulp.

She smiled.
“You’re awfully brave, Snorri. You’d really do that—risk yourself—for me?” the princess asked softly, and if there was any doubt, at that moment, Snorri was a goner.

He gave her a miserable look like a doomed man, but nodded.
“Why not,” he said with a sigh.

“Excellent!
Come on, then, you big oaf,” Jake ordered. “Let’s get you signed up for the contest and figure out how you’re going to win this thing.”

“You heard the dwarves.”
Kaia sent her hapless friend a pitying smile. “Thank you, Snorri,” she added as they headed for the door. “See you at the feast tonight?”

He nodded again,
forcing a smile. But as the boys led him off to sign up for the contest, Snorri walked out like a prisoner headed for the gallows.

CHAPTER THIRTY

The Giants’ Feast

Later that night, a gigantic pig turned on a spit over a raging bonfire. King Olaf himself hosted the feast to welcome all the visiting knights and princes before kicking off the great tournament tomorrow morning.

The whole village had turned out to join in the
festivities, and the boys marveled at everything they saw.

The
music was deafening, and the earth shook as numbers of the giants danced in rings. Everywhere the warriors drank mead and boasted back and forth. In one corner, the visiting princes arm-wrestled. In another, brawny knights took turns sharpening their weapons on an iron rod. Sparks flew as metal honed metal.

The
giant children, each as tall as pillars, listened to a giant bard telling stories about the gods. Jake and Archie exchanged a wry glance to hear him tell of the rollicking adventures of the on-again, off-again pair of friends/enemies, Thor and Loki. It was no mystery which was the favorite of the populace.

Jake
wondered if Loki might be motivated in part by jealousy of the red-haired thunder god. Thor was everyone’s hero, but the children booed when Loki’s name was mentioned.

Archie snapped
pictures here and there with his miniature camera. They spotted Princess Kaia dancing with the others—and Snorri trying hard not to stare at her.

They also got their first look at King Olaf,
an extremely manly Norse chief with a snowy beard and a shock of white hair beneath his rugged iron crown. A dragon brooch clasped the ends of his red cloak at the shoulder.

An imposing figure, he was
accepting the compliments of the visiting princes, who lifted their drinking horns to him with many a toast. The boys heard him telling the foreign visitors a little about the contest ahead. “There will be three parts to our tournament: a test of strength; a test of courage; and a test of wits.”

“That last one should be interesting,
under the circumstances,” Archie mumbled.

Jake smiled wryly at him.

“The last man standing after all these deadly challenges will have proved himself worthy to marry my daughter and inherit my crown,” King Olaf declared. “Not that I’m in any great hurry to be rid of either!”

The princes laughed at his jest, and the boys moved on
, taking care to avoid getting stepped on. Archie was nearly drenched when one of the giant knights sloshed mead from his drinking horn above them. Jake saw it coming and yanked him out of the way just in time, otherwise, his cousin might have drowned under the cascade.

Snorri must have seen the near-miss,
too, for he came running over. “Are you all right, Master Archie? I can’t have anything happen to my coaches!”

“I’m all right, thanks.”
Archie nodded and dried his spectacles.

Jake was about to
challenge Snorri to ask Princess Kaia to dance when a fierce-looking, dark-haired giant came swaggering over to them.

His eyes shone aggressively, and Jake suspected he had already had too much ale
to drink. “Well, if it isn’t the village idiot! So, shepherd—” The towering warrior paused to let out a mighty burp, punching himself in the chest to force it out. “I hear you’ve entered our contest.”

Snorri backed away from him a little. “Hello, Gorm,” he said warily.

Gorm propped one huge fist on his waist and clapped Snorri as hard as possible on the back in what was supposed to look like a friendly greeting. “You do realize, dolt, that I’m going to crush you, right? To be honest, I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Leave him alone, Gorm!” Kaia came marching over and
stood between the two. She must have seen the trouble brewing. “Snorri can enter the contest if he wants to!”

Gorm scoffed. “He has no chance of winning, but
just suppose he did. Think of your future, married to this buffoon!”

“You’re the buffoon!” Snorri answered.

“What did you say?” Gorm demanded, moving toward him.

Kaia stopped him, planting her hand on his armored breastplate. Gorm glanced down at her in wa
rning. “It’s cruel of you, letting your stooge do this for you, Kaia. He’s just going to get humiliated again and probably killed. All the feats are dangerous. But perhaps our fearsome shepherd isn’t worried about dragons?” Gorm taunted, staring past her at his rival.

Archie looked at Jake, wide-eyed.
“Dragons?”

“Blimey,” Jake
whispered in anticipation.

“Even I don’t relish going into those woods,” Gorm said i
n an ominous tone, gazing at Kaia. “But I shan’t hesitate, my love. Because you’re worth it.”

“Ugh,” she muttered
.

Gorm flashed a smarmy grin. “I kno
w you think I’m angry about your refusal to marry me and your father’s notion of this silly contest, but you’re wrong. I don’t mind a bit. I’m not afraid to
earn
you. By the time it’s over, you’ll come to your senses and realize I’m what’s best for you
and
for Jugenheim.”

“No, you’re not,” Snorri said with that same pugnacious look on his homely face that Jake remembered from the cave.

Once more, Gorm reacted accordingly. “What did you—”

“Gorm—save it,” Kaia ordered. “Snorri, don’t
bait him.”

Snorri glared and stayed silent, while Gorm managed a wolfish smile. “As you wish, milady,” the warrior said, flicking a derisive glance at his
foe. “I suppose you’re right. There’s no real harm in letting him participate. We could always use some comic relief.”

As Gorm swaggered away,
Kaia grabbed Snorri’s arm. “Don’t let him get under your skin. Come, dance with me!”

Snorri loo
ked terrified of this order, but there was nothing the boys could do to save him as she cheerfully dragged him away for a dance.

Meanwhile,
Jake and Archie could hear Gorm talking to his wild Viking henchmen in the corner. “Now, tomorrow, when the contest starts, I want to hear you cheer for me. It’s important the people see that I’m the clear favorite. We need to get the people on my side against the others. It’s a mental advantage.” He pointed shrewdly to his temple, and the big brute warriors all nodded with dawning understanding.

“All right, Gorm, we’ll cheer!”

“Good,” he said, looking around at all of them with a cold nod. “After all, why should we let one of these foreign strangers come in and marry our chieftain’s daughter? Become our next king? I think not.”

T
he warriors shouted agreement, pounding on the table.

“She belongs with
one of us,” Gorm said, “and I’m the obvious choice.”

“Aye
!” they said again.

“
Why would the king insult you like this, Gorm?” one of his followers said cautiously.

“Ahh, i
t’s not the old man’s fault. It’s Kaia’s doing, but don’t worry. She’ll learn to do as she’s told and mind her place when she’s my wife. As for His Majesty, why, he probably went along with it just to test my mettle. See if I’m really worthy. But I know I am, so I don’t mind. I enjoy the challenge. So great a prize should not be won too easily. Believe me, if I was angry about it, you’d know,” he added with an ominous laugh.

“Right, Gorm,
nobody wants to see you angry, Gorm!” his followers nervously assured him.

Jake and Archie exchanged a worried glance while
Prince Gorm held out his cup for someone to go and refill it.

“Let’s just get this contest over with
, and later, once I’m king, we’ll see about expanding our people’s territory. This land is getting too small for us. Why should we not lay claim to other kingdoms? It will be like the old days of our ancestors, sailing off to distant lands—plunder and pillage!”

“Good times,” they said.

“That’s right! Stick with me, lads, I’ll make you rich!” he promised. His followers let out a hearty cheer, and Prince Gorm lifted his chin proudly.

A
s the boys watched from a safe distance, Jake knew in his bones that Gorm would do whatever it took to win.

He was mulling over how to make sure Gorm didn’t cheat during the tournament, when a
ll of a sudden, Jake was lifted off his feet without warning.

“Look! Dollies!”

He let out a yelp as a giant little girl lifted him high in delight. “Hello, nice doll! What’s your name?”

“
Put me down!” He kicked and struggled to no avail as the ten-foot-tall six-year-old giggled happily and hugged him.

“Help! Archie, do something!” he bellowed, muffled against her shoulder as he kicked.
“Put me down!”

Archie, curse him, was trying not to laugh.

But then, the wee girl’s big (very big) sister ran over to investigate. She was slightly older, maybe eight or nine.

She bent down a little, resting her hands on her knees as she beamed at Archie.
“Oh, look at the cute little gnomes!” the second giant girl cried.

Archie
backed away.

“Don’t be afraid! I won’t hurt you, lit
tle gnome!” she said sweetly.

“I’m sorry, miss, we’re not gnomes and we’re not dolls, either. Would you please tell her to put my cousin down?”

“But what are you, then?” the older one asked.

“
Obviously, we’re
dwarves!
” Jake bellowed when the smaller one let him up for air.

“Did someone say dwarves?”
A third giant youngster joined them presently—a boy this time, about Jake’s age—probably their brother, judging by their family resemblance.

The minute Jake saw the mischievous gleam in the giant boy’s eyes, he knew this one was trouble.

“Look, everyone!” the giant boy called to the other children. “Dwarves! Ho, ho, you know what that means?”

“Dwarf tossing!”
the other children cried. “C’mon!” they shouted to each other. “Peter’s found a dwarf!”

Peter laughed heartily, lifting
Archie off the ground.

“Help!” he
cried.

“Put him down!” Jake warned, pushing against the giant girl’s two-handed grip around his waist to free himself.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be next!” Peter boomed merrily as his friends ran over to join the fun.

“Higher
, higher!” the children chanted as Peter began tossing Archie into the air like a ball and catching him again.

“Noooooo!” his cousin pleaded.

They ignored him.

Well, Arch,
Jake thought, watching in dismay,
you wanted to fly. Here’s your chance.

“Go over there!” Peter
waved one of his friends a few yards off. “I’ll throw him, you catch.”

“You’ll kill him!” Jake protested.

“No, we won’t,” Peter said while his chum ran off, laughing, and got into position to catch Archie.

“Pleas
e don’t do this,” Archie was begging them.

“Ready?” the giant boy called to his friend.

The friend waved. “All set!”

Peter began swinging Archie. “One… t
wo…”

Thankfully, Kaia
heard the “dwarves” screaming, for she was already running toward them, leaving Snorri dancing by himself. “Children! Stop that at once!” she ordered—but she was too late.

For at th
at precise moment, Peter let go of Archie, hurling him into the air.

“Ahhhhhh!”
he screamed, his arms and legs pin-wheeling as he soared through empty space, this time, without the help of any flying machine.
“Hellllp!”

He landed abruptly in a soft
place: Princess Kaia’s bosom, where he bounced once, then fell, vanishing with a yelp down the front of her giant dress, through no fault of his own, of course. The princess also shrieked as if a spider had dropped into her clothes.

She had meant t
o catch him, but not like that!

A moment later, Archie’s head popped up li
ke a baby bird in a nest. “Jake?” he whimpered, gasping for air. “Help?”

The giant children roared with hilarity and even Jake had to hold back laug
hter. The proper young English gentleman was perfectly mortified. Poor Archie didn’t know where to look. He held up his hand to shade his eyes from things he ought not to see. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Your Highness!” he stammered.

Princess Kaia plucked him out of the front of her dress, frowning sternly at the giant children. “It’s all right, Master Archie. It wasn’t your fault,” she said, striving to regain her
royal dignity.

She set him back down gently on the ground, the
n pointed sternly at the giant little girl, Jake’s captor. “Anna, put him down! Children, that was most uncalled for. Peter, all of you, leave the dwarves alone. They are our guests! We must treat them with respect. If you bother them again, I’ll have your parents take you home to bed.”