Jaded (The Butterfly Memoirs) (12 page)

Besides, I needed to regain the control I’d lost in less than the fifteen minutes I’d been here.

Zack cleared his throat and carried the plates to the table. I followed with my wine glass. Like a perfect gentleman, he pulled out my seat.

“Another toast?” he asked when he returned with his glass.

“Sure.”

Our glasses poised in the air, he studied me with those hazel eyes. “To a night of firsts I’m sure neither of us will forget.”

I forced myself to sip slowly and remember this was my idea. I valued Zack’s friendship and did not intend to screw it up. Zack was a man with desires and needs like any other.

I had opened Pandora’s Box.

“How was your day?”

“Slow, it seemed like it would never end.” I swirled pasta onto my fork and glanced up in time to see his eyebrows crease with interest.

The realization we were completely alone with no interruptions or his mother becoming a part of our conversation left so many opportunities. Maybe opening the box could be fun.

“I dreamed about you last night.”

Zack froze before putting a forkful of food in his mouth. “I hope it was a good dream.”

I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “I’ll know for sure by the end of the night.”

Zack’s wicked grin came back.

Before long, we were both finished with our meal. It was incredible. He’d chosen something filling, but light. The last thing I wanted was to be full, get naked, and feel fat.

“Let me get that.” I reached across the table, gathered his plate, nestled it with mine, and walked over to the deep stainless steel kitchen sink.  I ran water and reached for the dishwashing liquid.

“I have a dishwasher.” Zack joined me, leaning against the counter.

“It’s not a problem; you made dinner. I don’t mind cleaning up.” That made him smile. “Besides, I love being in the kitchen. That’s one thing I miss about not being in my own place. If I want to cook, I have to go to the hotel’s kitchen. Our cook hates people messing things up after she’s cleaned and left for the day.”

Zack put up the leftovers, wiped down the stove and table, before refilling our empty wine glasses. He walked past and I heard the scrape of the barstool as he sat behind me.  I could feel his eyes on my body. I focused on cleaning the few dishes thoroughly. Why not let him get an eyeful of what he would be getting?

“You can cook here anytime you want.”

Water swirled down the drain as I reached for a dishtowel to dry my hands. I glanced around at the clean lines of the kitchen. Dark mahogany cabinets complemented an equally dark hardwood floor, while stainless steel appliances fit perfectly. The overhead air ducts and pipes reminded me this was indeed a refurbished warehouse. I loved this place.

“I might just take you up on that.” I reached for my wine glass and reclined against the counter I had just cleaned.

There was a moment of silence as we stood across from each other. Only a few feet separated us.

“Yasmine,” Zack said, his voice low, his hazel eyes darkened.

“Yes?” My body ached with anticipation as I licked my lips. His gaze instantly went to my mouth.

The feel of his lips and the way he’d held me came back to mind. I ran a finger across my mouth in anticipation.

“I could tell you how beautiful you are, but you already know that.”

I laughed lightly. “No girl gets tired of hearing it.”

He nodded, got off his seat, and took a small step towards me. I could feel the heat of his body as he stepped into my presence, even though we weren’t touching.

“I’ll say this instead, you are…,” his eyes traveled lazily over my body, “unbelievably sexy.”

I felt myself getting lost in his eyes as they ate me alive. “Thanks, I—”

Zack held up a finger. “You are sexy, but for reasons that have nothing to do with the physical.”

His words made me pause.

“Your true sexiness comes from here.” He ran a finger across my temple. “Your mind. Your smart, witty, take no bullshit temperament is what turns me on.” He took a final sip of his wine and set the glass on the counter beside me.

I froze in place. The last thing he said about my mind was hotter than anything else.

“The one thing men fail to appreciate is the beauty of a woman’s mind.” He took my glass and placed it next to his. “A woman’s strength comes from here,” he touched my temple again, “and translates to the physical…here.” His finger ran the length of my jaw lightly.

I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. Never had I been this turned on in my life. My heart raced, my breathing quickened, and my body vibrated with the need. He’d barely even touched me.

“You see,” his voice dropped lower as he inched closer, his mouth nearing my ear, his breath tickling the side of throat, “the physical can wither away with age and sickness. This,” he kissed my forehead and trailed slow, butterfly kisses across my temple, “can never be lost.”

He tilted my chin, and then his lips were on mine. My body melted into the counter. Zack’s free hand came around my waist, and pulled me against his body. I molded to him, allowing myself to give in the way I wanted the night we kissed. My hands held the back of his head as our lips glided over each other. His tongue slipped out, tempting mine to come out and play. The moment it did, I tasted sweet wine.

Zack’s mouth drifted to my throat while his hand slid down to my breasts and stroked. I arched in his hand.

A moan escaped me without shame. “Where’s your bed?”

Chapter 14

Zack chuckled against my throat. Wasn’t he turned on as much as I was?

His kissed me long and slow, then pulled away. “Anxious?”

“Horny as hell.”

He smiled. “So am I, but good things should not be rushed.” His hand ran down the side of my throat and stopped just above my racing heart. “And it’s going to be good.” Zack kissed my shoulder, then worked his way up the side of my throat before stopping abruptly. “Dance with me.” He stepped back and held out his hand. “The night is young and we have plenty of time.”

My eyebrows creased. How in the world could he think about dancing? After the way he kissed me, why would he want to take things slow?

“There’s nothing to be afraid of this time.” His thumb grazed the inside of my wrist, sending a rush of desire through me. “Besides, we dance well together.”

We walked over to the large stereo system in the living room. Zack picked up the remote and turned it on. Mellow and smooth jazz began to play. He set the remote down and pulled me into his arms.

He was right: we were good at this. I could only imagine what it would be like moving together in bed.  After all, dancing with our bodies pressed against each other was like having sex with our clothes on.

I pulled my hands free from his embrace and placed his hands on my hips, letting my hands drop to my sides. I focused on his eyes and swayed seductively with my hips. Zack pulled me against him, his eyes focused on mine.

His attentive gaze left me feeling sultry and sexy.  I slid my hands up his chest and played with the buttons of his shirt, releasing them in time to the music. I couldn’t resist the opportunity to seduce him the way he’d seduced me in the kitchen.

Zack’s chuckle was deep and low. “Just can’t wait, can you?”

“Not when you’re moving me like this,” I cooed.  His shirt half undone, I ran a hand over his smooth chest. He had surprisingly defined pecs. I continued up around his neck. His mouth parted, an open invitation to give him more of what we’d already shared.

Zack wasn’t much taller than I was, but in my heels, we were nearly eye-to-eye. I leaned forward to tease his full bottom lip with my tongue before pulling it in my mouth. He groaned and grasped my hips, pulling me tighter against his groin. The hard bulge between us was what I wanted to feel, the hardened muscle that said he was as aroused as I was.

I pulled back, expecting him to pull me down on the floor and consume me. Instead, he continued to move us in time with the music.

“Not yet.”

My eyes narrowed. He smiled.

I bit my lip and thought back to everything I knew about him. Zack held a quiet confidence, yet never boasted. He was intelligent, thoughtful, and always willing to please.

He’d also been celibate for a year. No sex meant…

I reached behind my neck and untied the strap of my dress. His eyes narrowed and his body stiffened when I pulled the straps down and stopped, exposing only the top curve of my breasts. I pulled his hand from my waist and placed it on bare skin, just above the fabric. Zack licked his lips, slid his hand low, and rubbed his thumb over me, stroking my hardened nipple through the material. I sighed in pleasure.

He lowered the fabric to reveal naked flesh. He groaned and resumed the motion. The contact of his large hand covering my breast sent my mind spinning. It had been so long since I felt a man’s hands on my body. I moaned and reached for his hand, holding it there to savor the connection.  A moment later, heat rushed through me as he lowered his head and took me with his tongue. I gripped the back of his head and arched against his mouth.

When he released me, his lips were parted and eyes thick with passion. “Not…yet…,” he panted.

I stared in disbelief, on the verge of being desperate.

“Zack, what are you waiting for?” I was seconds away from dropping down on my knees to beg.

“For you to let go and let me take control. You spend too much time trying to be in charge of everything. You can’t control this…let me, Yasmine…”  He caressed the side of my breast.  “Let me be your guide.” This time his mouth wasn’t gentle.

Intensity I never experienced before flowed through me from the contact of our bodies, the heat of his mouth, and the sultry flow of his words. My knees went weak, forcing me to sway against him.

Zack’s grip tightened before he walked me backwards. My back hit the brick wall of the living room. He quickly pulled me against his body, braced his hand against the brick, and protected me from the rough wall. His lips traveled over every inch of exposed skin while his free hand slipped further down my body, gripped the edge of my dress, and hiked it up. He pushed into my panties and slid his fingers between my thighs.

My head rested on his shoulder as I whimpered. His firm, yet gentle caress took me to a place I hadn’t been in months. Within seconds I called his name and came. His mouth found mine, while his body replaced his hand as he ground against me, fully clothed.

When my high ended, he pulled back. His eyes were full of lust. “Can you stand?”

Somehow, I found the strength to nod.

Zack let go, stepped back, finished unbuttoning his shirt, and slipped it from his shoulders. His pants followed. Naked, he came back to me and pulled my dress and panties down my body.

Kneeling, he supported me as I stepped out of my clothes; he tossed them aside. His hands were firm as he slid them up my legs and kissed his way up my thighs, stopping to linger in-between.

“Zack…”I moaned.

He stood and pulled me into his arms. “I’m about to give you everything you want…everything you need.” His voice was so low it sounded like a growl.

He guided me to the sofa. Sitting down, he pulled me onto his lap, pausing to slip on a condom. Where had that come from? I was so caught up in what he’d done to me that protection of any sort had slipped my mind. Thank God he was prepared.

After what felt like an eternity, he guided me down. I straddled his lap and watched his face contort in an expression of pleasure when our bodies connected. He gripped my hips and rocked my body.

I sat up, allowed my head to fall back, closed my eyes, and bit my lip.

He was a perfect fit. My hands rested on his shoulders as our rhythm began to mimic the motion of our bodies as we’d danced.

“You feel so good…” He gripped me tighter.

I forced my eyes open to watch him. He was amazing. His eyebrows pulled together tight, his firm lips parted as he panted while thrusting underneath me. And all the while, those deep hazel eyes watched me with an intensity I’d never known. It was as if he needed to know every thrust he made pleased me.

It was obvious we connected on a different level the night we went out to dinner and shared the pain of our past relationships. But now this…this physical connection threatened to push me closer to a point I swore I’d never go.

A part of the wall protecting my heart fell away. No man ever had this effect on me. I closed my eyes to cut off the emotional link forming and remembered what this was: a means to pleasure myself, to pleasure him.

Just as I found a perfect rhythm, Zack changed our positions and laid me down.

My mind blown, my body neared the edge once again; my arms were wrapped around his neck and my thighs wide, giving him as much of me as I could in the space of the sofa.  Zack paused long enough to reposition my legs exactly where he wanted and pushed deeper. We both cried out. His grunts and the sound of our bodies as they slapped together was music to my ears.

Then he came, burying himself inside of me; I joined his release with yet another one of my own.

Zack collapsed. My arms were still around his neck locked in an embrace. I didn’t want him to move an inch.

The room was silent except for our labored breath and the music that played. Somehow the sultry sounds of the trumpet reflected the passion we shared.

Passion?

What was wrong with me? This wasn’t a relationship meant for anything but great sex.

Zack provided dinner, actual conversation, and romance before seducing the hell out of me. Neither of those things were a requirement. This was not the kind of friends-with-benefits relationship I was used to. Javan never treated our time together like this, not even the night he’d proposed. It had all been about sexual gratification. Conversation before or after was a bonus.

Zack had given me everything I could want from a man who genuinely cared about me.

He couldn’t care…could he?

Zack pushed up and balanced himself so he didn’t crush me. He didn’t speak, only studied me with eyes that made me feel as if my soul were lay bare for him. No man had ever looked at me that way, especially after sex. That thought alone made me want to dress and flee. But I couldn’t. Beneath his warm body, I drifted into a state of bliss.