She hasn't become fearless. Knowing that something tangible lies beyond death has only made the idea of living sweeter. She understands that the gift of the world and her place in it is precious.
But for the bandas, life is a cheap commodity—a coin easily spent. Once that made her afraid. Now it makes her angry.
She knows Jack and Luz and the others are mourning her in the cemetery. Pablo, her family, Connie and Veronica and her other friends will be mourning her, too. She wants nothing more than to be with them. To reassure them that she has returned.
Instead, she enters the bar.
It's noisy—even at this time of the afternoon—but everything goes still the moment she steps inside. There are at least a dozen bandas seated at the various tables wearing their colours, and twice that number of hangers-on and girlfriends.
Sitting like a king at a center table is Roberto Pena, La Mano Grande. She knows him. Everybody knows him, if only to turn down another street when they see him coming. Today she walks right up to his table.
La Mano Grande doesn't have disproportionately big hands. He gets his nickname because when it comes to the barrio, he has his hand in everything illegal that can make money. Drugs, cars, guns.
He has tattoos on every visible piece of skin—even on his shaved head. It makes him seem like some kind of strange art installation—though he is far more dangerous than anything you might find in a gallery.
His gaze lingers on her as it travels up her body.
"I don't know who you are,
chica
," he finally says, "but unless you're offering up your sweets, you just stepped into a world of trouble."
He might not recognize her, but she sees that others in the room do. Eyes widen. More than one person makes the sign of the cross. The man sitting beside Pena picks a newspaper up from the floor and drops it on the table in front of the gang leader. Pena glances down at it.
"So what?" he asks. "You her sister or something?"
"Tell yourself that, if it makes you feel better, but it doesn't change who I am."
"You don't look like a ghost to me."
"I'm not," Maria says. "I just came back."
He gives her a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
"Is that supposed to scare me?" he says. "You don't scare me. I could have you killed just like that."
He snaps his fingers.
Maria doesn't start. A strange calm has fallen over her. Her gaze is steady as it meets his. He reaches behind his back and pulls a handgun from his belt. He lays it on the table, his hand resting beside it.
"Go ahead," she tells him. "But the next time I return from the dead I won't come with the same courtesy as today. The next time I might come to your bedside, and you could die without ever knowing I was there."
She can see that she's getting to him. He knows she's not afraid in the same way the barrio dogs can smell fear. It makes him cautious. He didn't become the leader of the 66 Bandas because he's stupid. He became the leader because he's acutely perceptive and considers all possibilities before he acts.
"Is there a point to this?" he asks.
Maria nods. "Keep your business out of the barrio. I'm tired of seeing old ladies scared to leave their houses because your macho men are strutting around. I'm tired of innocent people dying in drive-bys. I'm tired of this place being a war zone, twenty-four/seven. You know, even wild animals don't shit in their own nests."
Pena continues to hold her gaze. He tries to give nothing away.
"I thought you people just robbed rich gringos," he says. "Why are you messing with us?"
"Are you even listening to me?"
He shrugs. "You open your mouth and all I hear is blah-blah-blah."
She starts to turn to leave and Pena picks up the gun, pointing it at her.
"Did I say you could go?" he asks.
"Shoot me or don't," Maria says, "Either way, I'm going to catch the tail end of my graveside service."
"Yeah, yeah. Because you'll just come back and kill me in my sleep. But maybe I won't kill you. Maybe I'll just blow out your knees and your elbows and let you live for awhile."
Maria braces herself for the shots, but they don't come. After a long moment, Pena lays the gun down on the table again.
"The Garzas want their money back," he says.
"Who are the Garzas?"
"The Garza Cartel," he says like he's talking to an idiot.
"And I told you what I want," Maria says.
"Nobody cares what you want. I'm letting you walk out of here in one piece so that you can bring me the money you stole from Crase. You've got twenty-four hours."
"And if I don't come back?"
"Don't make me send my boys out looking for you," Pena tells her. Maria waits to see if he has anything to add. Finally she turns around and starts for the door again. She expects a bullet in the back at any moment.
"And,
chica
," Pena calls after her.
She stops, but doesn't turn her head in his direction.
"I'll shit wherever I want—¿
tú entiendes
?"
Maria leaves without acknowledging him.
She welcomes the sun on her face when she steps outside. A shiver starts up in the pit of her stomach and goes through her entire body.
Up close to La Mano Grande as she'd been, she'd seen the edge of crazy in his eyes. But was she any less
loco
than Pena, she wonders to herself.
What had she hoped to accomplish in there, anyway?
She realizes she has no idea, and continues down Calle Adelanto to Mission Street.
Maybe she just wanted to look into the face of the enemy before she helped bring him down.
Maria is filled with anxiety when the bus stops at San Miguel Cemetery. She thinks she'd rather be walking back into Luna Diablo than face what is to come. She feels so guilty for what she put her family and friends through. Mamá and Papá will be devastated. Pablo will be so angry. Connie and Veronica…
Who else will be there?
How can she even begin to explain being back?
But when she walks through the gates she sees only Luz, Jack and the boys standing around a mound of fresh earth, heads bowed. Will is the first to notice her. He gives a shout and then they're all running towards her, grinning. As Jack's gaze meets hers her panic ebbs, replaced by a sudden shyness. But he gives her no chance to be reticent. He catches her up in his arms and lifts her, turning in a circle, holding her close.
Maria responds gladly. The shyness goes the way of the panic and she's glad to be back with them all again. Their voices are a babble of happy sounds all around her, everybody taking their turn to give her a hug.
For the first time since she came back she feels real. She looks at Luz, who is grinning from ear to ear.
It takes awhile for everything to calm down. Then Maria asks the question that has been lying under her happiness to trouble her:
"Where is everyone else? Did only you come?"
Will smiles. "Oh, girl. You should have seen it. The church was packed from front to back, and half the barrio came to the cemetery for the service here. Who knows how many people will show up at the community center for the potluck?"
"Your funeral was awesome," one of the Glimmer Twins agrees.
"And my parents…my family…"
"They were all here," Luz says. "They're really broken up."
Maria nods. "I have to go see them—to let them know I'm…you know…"
"Not dead," Ti Jean says.
Maria nods again.
"It's weird that you didn't come back when I did," Luz says.
"Maybe I did," Maria says. "When you took my hand everything spun away and I found myself back where I died."
Jack gives her shoulders a sympathetic squeeze.
"That must have been hard," he says.
"No, it was okay," she says. "But then I did something stupid."
She tells them about the old woman seeing her appear where she'd died, and how she went into Luna Diablo to confront La Mano Grande. They're all quiet when she's done. She's grateful that no one points out how crazy she was to go there.
"Twenty-four hours," Will finally says. "That's not a lot of time."
Jack nods. "But doable. And now we know whose money it was." He smiles at Maria. "You go to the community center. See your family. We'll deal with this."
"Deal with it?" she says. "This isn't just robbing some house. This is the cartels. You're just five guys."
"Yeah," Ti Jean says with a wink, "but we're mythic, so we'll be okay."
"It's not a joke," Maria starts, but Luz lays a hand on her arm.
"I'll go with you to see your family," she says.
"But…"
"Let the boys handle it."
"Twenty-four hours," Ti Jean says as they watch the girls leave the cemetery. "The bandas aren't going to wait any twenty-four hours."
Jack nods. "I know. They're giving her just long enough to go to her family. Then they'll hit the whole place and have a room full of hostages to make sure they get their money."
None of the boys speak. They all know that the money is gone, already given away to those in need. There's no time to steal that much again in time to save Maria and the funeral mourners.
Her miraculous return is about to turn from joy to horror. Maria and Luz will die. All her friends and family will die. The cartels make a point of sending clear messages about anyone who crosses them.
"So what do we do?" Will finally asks.
Jack turns to him. "We stop them."
"We have to get this Mano Grande," one of the Glimmer Twins says.
"Yeah," the other twin adds. "He already killed her once."
Jack's eyes are dark with anger.
"Oh, I remember," he says. "He's first on my list."
"We're going to need an army," Will says.
"I know," Jack says. "We'll have to call in the rest of the boys."
His companions exchange glances.
"But," Ti Jean begins.
Jack holds up his hand.
"Don't say it. I know what it means," Jack tells him. "If we do this, we have to go back to the green wood. Maria will be safe, but we won't see her again."
He looks around at them, meeting their gazes one by one. "I can't ask you to do this for me."
Will laughs. "You're kidding, right?"
Jack doesn't smile. He lays a fist against his chest.
"You honour me with your loyalty," he says.
The boys respond with the same gesture.
"Okay," Ti Jean says. "Let's get this show on the road."
Jack nods. "The Glimmer Twins will go back to camp to get our weapons. We'll meet you at the community center."
It was so hard to go to the cemetery. But this is harder still. Maria knows she would not be able to do this without Luz at her side.
The community center is full of people when they step through the door, arm in arm. Her cousin Rico is first to notice. His eyes widen and he makes the sign of the cross. Beside him, an older man is the next to see her. He clutches the table and has to be lowered into his chair. Maria recognizes him. It's Juan Valdez, the undertaker. He lives just down the street from her parents' house. Of course they would go to him.
A ripple of silence spreads from Rico and Señor Valdez through the hall until it reaches the table at the far side of the room where her parents are sitting. For a long moment, all they can do is stare. Then Mamá stands slowly and approaches the two girls, leaning on Pablo for support. Pablo's face is white. Papá walks on the other side of him.
But before her family can reach her, Maria hears a high-pitched squeal. She turns to see Connie and Veronica running towards her.
Luz drops her arm and steps aside.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" Connie cries.
Then her girls are on Maria, firing questions, hugging her, crying. Veronica's eye make-up runs. They only step back when her family has come close.
"Maria Ana?" Mamá says.
She looks so old, Maria thinks. Both her parents do. This has been harder on them than it has been on her.
She steps toward her mother, arms outstretched. Mamá clutches both her hands. She pulls Maria in close and begins to weep. Papá puts a tentative hand on her shoulder, as though he's assuring himself that his returned daughter is flesh and blood, not a ghost. Then he holds both her and Mamá in a tight embrace.
The silence is the room is so profound that Maria can hear the pulse of her own blood.
Mamá pulls away, but still holds on with one hand. She wipes her tears with the other.
"Sis?" Pablo says. "How—how is this possible?"
"I don't know," she tells him. "I remember dying, but then I was back, standing in the same place I fell. It was like I'd never been hurt. I didn't even know what had happened until an old woman told me about the funeral."
"The things I have heard," Mamá says. She shakes her head. "They think you're a part of that gang—the one that robs all the rich people."
"Los Murrietas," Maria says.
Mamá nods. "Such nonsense. I have told the reporters a thousand times that you have nothing to do with them."
Maria's gaze goes to Luz, who gives a small shake of her head. But Maria knows why she was allowed to come back.
"That's not true," she says. "I was their leader."
Her mother sways and has to lean on Papá. She makes the sign of the cross. The crowd in the community center presses closer to hear.
"This is
loco
," Mamá says.
Maria shakes her head. "No, it's about justice. Here in the barrio we are stuck between the banks and the bandas, and there is nothing left over for the rest of us. If no one will help us, we have to help each other."
Mamá is shaking her head the whole time Maria is talking.
"No, no," she says. "You will come to harm. You have already come to harm."
"I know it's dangerous," Maria says. "But I came back, didn't I?"
She looks to her father and brother, but she can't tell what they're thinking. Before she can ask, a gunshot booms in the parking lot outside the building and the quiet murmur of conversation that had been building up in the community center is cut off again.
"Where's my little Maria?" a familiar voice calls from outside. "Or better yet, where's my money?"