Authors: Adrienne Wilder
“No. Make them stop! Make them get back.”
“He can hurt you.”
“He won’t.”
“Jack, this is not a game. If you do not do as I tell you, I will take away all of your privileges.”
“I don’t care! You tell them to get back. It’s not his fault. He’s scared. He’s just scared!”
Dr. Chance made a slashing motion with his hand. “Get ready to take him down.”
And I knew what Dr. Chance meant by take him down. “No!” I turned to Noah. “Put the chair down. Noah, please, please put the chair down.”
A moment of lucidity let him see me. Know me. His gaze found mine and his grip loosened on the chair. I took a step forward. Behind me, Dr. Chance made more demands for me to back away, but I ignored him.
“Noah, please.”
On Dr. Chance’s orders the orderlies rushed forward and Noah screamed, high pitched angry, it made my ears ring and my vision blur. I had no idea a sound that loud could come out of a human mouth. It ate into my skull, scrambled my thoughts. Pain, agony, and suffering wrapped up in one feral cry. Noah swung the chair and my head snapped back but I didn’t feel any pain until I stumbled into the wall. Everything blurred. White on white. Too many arms, too many bodies. They converged on Noah. He didn’t stop. Even when they got the chair away from him. He hit, spit, bit, kicked until his voice shattered and all he could do was cough blood.
“Take him to the water room.” Dr. Chance followed the group of orderlies as they carried Noah out of the dayroom.
I pushed myself up. My stomach rolled.
“Are you all right, Just Jack?”
I blinked, trying to see Grom beyond the haze. “Yeah, yeah.” I wiped my cheek, smearing blood on the back of my hand.
He offered me a hand up and I took it. I started after Dr. Chance but Grom didn’t let go. “It’s best if you don’t anger the Grand Duke, or he will have you arrested.”
I didn’t care. I pulled away and staggered down the hall where they’d gone. The corridor was narrow and tiled black and white. I’d never been in this area of the hospital. It smelled wet and moldy and the way the air tasted reminded me of the cellar back home. About halfway down, Dr. Chance stood outside a door with several orderlies. I tried to figure out what they were doing because what I saw made no sense, it made no sense at all. One of them held a fire hose and sprayed water into the room.
I came up behind them. Noah slid against the tiles, arms flailing, fighting the blast of water. His feet slipped and he tumbled across the floor. As soon as he got his legs under him he’d be knocked to his knees all over again.
“What are you doing?” I grabbed the man with the hose. “Stop it! Goddamn you, stop it!” One of them snatched me by the arm and lifted me up. I kicked, spit, and punched. I was shoved to the wet floor and my hands were pinned to my back. “Let me go, you son of a bitch! Let me go!”
“Stop it, Jack.”
I could just turn my head enough to look up at Dr. Chance. Beyond him, through the door, Noah was no longer able to stand up. He’d make it to his hands and knees only to be bowled over and rolled into the wall.
“You’re hurting him!”
“This is none of your concern.”
It was my concern. “He’s my friend! Let me up!”
“Only if you turn around and walk out of here!”
I watched horrified as Noah no longer fought the flow of water. He just lay limp in the corner like a broken doll.
I strained against the orderly holding me. “You fucking bastard! I hate you! I hate all of you!” I kicked and almost caught Dr. Chance in the shin.
“Take her out of here.” I was hauled to my feet. When I refused to stand the orderly picked me up and carried me to my room.
It wasn’t until I was dropped onto the floor that I realized it had been Frank holding me down. He stared at me. Face hard, eyes cold. He didn’t have teeth, claws, or blood red eyes, but what I saw was a monster.
“Get out!”
He reached behind him and shut the door.
“Get out of my room now!” I scurried back.
Frank took a step forward and the wet soles of his shoes squeaked. “The nurses here say you think you’re a boy.” His gaze raked over me and his mouth curled. “You don’t look like a boy to me.”
“Get the hell out of my room, now!” I ran out of space and my back pressed against the wall.
“How about we find out whether you are or not?”
Frank put his hand on his belt.
“Help me!” I made a run for the door and Frank’s big arm wrapped around my waist. “Somebody help me! Help me!” I slammed my fists into his arm, trying to get him to let go.
“No one around to hear you right now. Everyone’s busy with your little friend. Shame he’s so afraid of fire.”
He dropped me on the bed.
“How about it?”
I shook my head.
Frank worked the buckle of his belt loose and rubbed a hand down the front of his pants. “I’m willing to bet one time with me and I can knock all that boy nonsense out of your head.”
“Leave me alone.”
He laughed. “You cry like a girl.”
I slapped the tears off my cheeks. “Please go away.”
Frank grabbed my shirt and his hand knotted up the front. He gave it a hard pull and the front ripped wide. “What the hell is this?” He picked at the bindings around my chest and laughed. “You holding back on the goods, I see. Well, we can’t let something that tasty go to waste now, can we?” I knocked his hand away. “Now, now, little lady. There will be no fighting. You be quiet or I’ll have to hurt you.”
“Get out!”
“I don’t think so.” He tried to grab my hair but it was still too short, so he grabbed me by the neck instead. I drew my legs up and double barrel mule kicked him right in the groin.
Frank hit the floor and I made another attempt to get away. His hand shot out and he grabbed my ankle. I fell. My breath wooshed out and my chin smacked against the floor. I tasted blood.
“Bitch.” He dragged me under him. “You wanna play that way? We can play that way.”
I could feel him, hot and heavy, his weight crushing the air out of my lungs. The stench of cigarette smoke soaked his skin. Frank clawed at my clothes, ripping my pants. I couldn’t get away. I was too weak, too small. Helpless.
The door open and Frank stopped. For a moment I thought I was saved, that it would be Dan or Dr. Chance. My hopes were crushed when Frank said, “Get out old man.”
Grom puffed up his chest. “I think you sir, are the one who should vacate the premises.”
“Help me!”
Frank shoved me against the floor and my head bounced on the tile. “Shut up!” He looked at Grom. “And you! Get out or I’ll have you thrown into solitary for a week.”
Grom’s gaze met mine. His expression was sad and angry. I wanted him to do something, but to my horror Grom pulled the door closed and I watched as the sliver of light from the hall shrank back until there was nothing left but shadows.
Frank grinned at me. “Now, it’s just you and me.” He tried to kiss me and I bit his lip. Frank’s big hand clocked me on the side of the head where the chair had struck and black flowers burst in front of my eyes.
He yanked at my clothes until nothing was left between us. The floor was cold on my skin. I knew what he was going to do, but I didn’t want to think about it. I just hoped when he was done he went ahead and killed me.
Frank sat up to get his pants undone. I saw the edge of his briefs, then the door opened again. “I told you, old man.” There was a blur of movement. The bed pan Grom held smashed into Frank’s face, ringing like a gong. Another swing caught him in the side of the head and sent him to the floor.
“Yap! Ingrate! Bum Steer! Flim-Flam!” With every insult, Grom delivered another blow and added another dent to the bed pan.
I lost count after ten. I rolled over and tried to sit up.
Frank wasn’t moving anymore and his face was nothing but a bloody pulp. Grom took a step back. The mangled bed pan hit the floor with another metallic clang.
“I think we should go, Just Jack. I do not know how long my stun spell will work.” Grom grabbed the sheet off my bed and covered me up.
“I want to kill him.” Not just kill him, but tear off his legs, his arms, carve his heart out of his chest. Burn him like Markus was going to do to Noah. I’d never hated anyone like I did then.
Grom’s hand cupped my cheek. “I know you do, young sire. We will speak with the Grand Duke. Perhaps we shall have a trial in the courtyard and a public beheading.”
Frank’s head wasn’t the part of his body I wanted to cut off.
*** *** ***
I spent a day in the infirmary getting poked and prodded in the most embarrassing ways.
Dr. Chance came in to check on me. I didn’t want to talk to him. The shot the nurse had given me made me tired but that wasn’t why I didn’t want him there. He’d hurt Noah. Every time I closed my eyes I would see him struggling against the flow of water. The orderlies hadn’t been laughing in real life, but in my head they did.
“How are you feeling?”
“Fuck you.”
He frowned at me. “I know you’ve had a traumatic experience, Jacqueline.”
“Jack! My name is Jack!” I slung the sheet off and threw my pillow at him. My arms were too weak to make either go far.
“The nurses have assured me you weren’t injured.”
I hadn’t been injured. What about Noah? Was he hurt? Was he scared? “Where is he?”
“Frank has been removed from the facility.”
“No. Noah. Where is Noah?”
The bed squeaked when Dr. Chance sat on the edge. If my legs hadn’t been so numb I might have kicked him. “I know what happened seems terrible to you, but Noah is very sick. When Noah gets like that, nothing can calm him. He’s dangerous when the fits happen.”
“Only reason he was dangerous was because that bastard Frank gave Markus a lighter.”
“Now, we don’t know that for sure. Markus has a history of taking things that don’t belong to him.”
“He did. I know he did.” Frank had all but admitted doing it.
Shame he’s so afraid of fire
. It was obvious to me that Dr. Chance didn’t care.
I pulled the pillow back up and clung to it, soaking up the tears on my cheek. The muscles in my back ached from crying so much.
Dr. Chance started to reach for me but seemed to think better of it. “How’s your head?”
“Fine.” I wished he’d just go away.
“You’re very lucky. You could have had a concussion.”
“I don’t care. I just want to know where Noah is.” I waited for him to tell me and at the same time I was afraid of what he might say.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Noah had to be given a treatment to calm him down.”
“A treatment?”
“Yes.”
“What does that mean?” Another pill, a shot, what?
“It’s a special type of therapy called ETC.”
“What is that?”
“It’s when we use electrodes to send small pulses of electricity into the brain. I promise you Noah will be back in his room in the morning. However, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t recognize you.”
“Why wouldn’t he recognize me?” What could possibly make Noah forget who I was? He was my best friend. We played checkers and I held him when it thundered. Dr. Chance had to be lying. I felt ill.
“The small electrical pulses sometimes cause memory loss. Most of it is short term and corrects itself within a week, but sometimes there are lingering effects.”
“Why? Why would you do that to him?”
“Because he’s very ill and the alternative would be a lobotomy.”
I didn’t even know what that was, but it sounded evil. “It wasn’t his fault.”
Dr. Chance nodded. “You have to understand, when Noah has an episode, he can be very dangerous, to himself and to others. He hit you with a chair. Surely you can understand my concerns.”
“He was trying to hit the orderlies, not me.”
“Jack.”
“It’s the truth. He would never hurt me.” An image of Noah fighting against the water tumbled through my mind. “The only one who hurt anybody was you.”
“I only do what’s in the best interest for the people here. Even Noah.”
Liar.
I rolled over. “Just get out. Get out and leave me alone.”
Dr. Chance patted my hand. “I’m here when you’re ready to talk about this. Just let the nurse know.” He pulled the blankets back up over my legs where the gown wouldn’t cover them before he left.
The nurse allowed me to go back to my room early the next morning. Noah’s door was closed so I knocked. “Noah? Noah, it’s Jack.” I hoped what Dr. Chance had said wasn’t true. I didn’t know what I would do if Noah had forgotten who I was. I solved the problem by refusing to believe it.
I pressed my ear to the door and heard nothing. I tried the knob. It turned and I went inside. Noah was laying on the bed facing the wall. All he had on was a pair of briefs. His bare legs and back was covered in a cobweb of scars.
“Noah?”
He whimpered and his legs uncurled, but he didn’t look at me. There was a stack of clean scrubs at the end of the bed and long johns.
I walked over. “Hey.” There were marks on the side of his head. Red circles almost the size of a quarter. I touched one and Noah flinched. Dr. Chance had said they sent electricity into his brain. I tried to imagine what that had to be like and knew it could only be painful.
Had they tied him down? Had he screamed for them to stop? “Noah, it’s me. You’re safe now.”
I sat down beside him and rolled him over. His mouth slack, eyes half lidded, he didn’t look like the boy I knew. I wiped the drool off his chin and tried to sit him up. I wound up climbing up beside him so I could hold him between my knees with his head tucked under my chin. He didn’t even seem to see me.
“Talk to me please.” I rocked him. I petted his hair. I kissed his forehead. I just wanted him to say something, even a whisper, anything that told me he knew I was there. Noah stayed silent.
Dr. Chance had broken him and now I could only hope he would come back. I could only hope I hadn’t lost him like I’d lost Momma.
I didn’t think I could cry anymore but I was wrong.
“Sire?” Grom stood in the doorway, Santa hat in his hands.