It's a Love Thing (27 page)

She raised her eyebrows. “If your
rudeness hasn’t scared me off by now, I doubt it will suddenly
start working.”

Dex rolled his eyes. “Forgive me.
Imminent death looks good on you.” He slumped onto the couch.
“Well, let’s get started and get today’s sermon over
with.”

Sera laughed then cut it off when she
sounded more like she was choking. “Got a date?”

“
As a matter of fact,
yes.”

Sera ignored the hurt that stuck in
her throat. “Oh, where are you taking me?”

The shadow of a smile passed over
Dex’s lips. It made Sera’s heart leap. “No offense, El,” (Sera
tried not to giggle when he used a nickname), “but most people
don’t take well to dining with zombies.”

This time Sera laughed softly under
her breath. “That’s true.”

Dex waited through a few moments of
awkward silence before sighing loudly. “What? You disapprove of
dating now too?”

Sera shook her head. “Not at all. I
just hope she deserves you.”

Dex barked out a single hack of harsh
laughter. “Which is a nice way of saying you think I’m scraping the
bottom of the dating barrel. That’s everyone after
Sera.”

Sera hoped Elspeth’s
terrible skin tone masked the heat rushing up her face. Then again,
she could probably use the color. “How would I know who you’ve been
dating?” she asked instead. At least she hadn’t lied and said
she
didn’t
know.

Dex leaned forward. “You know the last
words Sera said to me but not who I’ve been dating?” he accused.
Sera opened her mouth, trying to think of something to say—that
didn’t sound triumphant—but Dex leaned back and shook his head.
“Sometimes I think I’m going crazy, Elspeth.”

Sera frowned. “Why?”

“
Because every once in a
while I think I might believe that you
did
see Sera somehow. Sometimes it’s
even like . . . like you’re . . . channeling her or
something.”

She wanted to reach out and touch his
hand, but she held it back. “So do you believe me then? That I’m
here because Sera sent me?”

“
I don’t know,” he
admitted. “I wish I really could believe it.”

Sera wrung her hands. “So believe it .
. . please, Dex.”

“
That’s so easy to
say
isn’t it?” he
snapped. “Just believe. And I thought I could. But when she died I
couldn’t help doubting—”

“
That’s when you get on
your knees, Dex. Nobody, least of all Him, expects you to do it on
your own.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t help,
Elspeth. I know you want this really bad, but I just don’t believe
anymore. If God is out there, He left me alone.”

“
No, no, Dex,” Sera said,
feeling anguished. Her heart twisted to hear him say that. She
leaned forward. “He would never.”

Dex looked up at her. “Has anyone you
loved ever died, Elspeth?”

She froze, searching her
memories. She didn’t know for Elspeth, but she did for herself. No.
Not until she had to be taken from Dex, and that was different.
She
knew
he lived
on because she could touch a computer screen and see his
face.

“
No,” she
whispered.

“
Exactly. It’s final. It’s
the end,” he said. She shook her head, but he held his hand up.
“You’ve done your best. If Sera came to you in a dream or
something—maybe you really believe that. And I can’t explain the
things you say or the things you know, but nothing has happened
since Sera died to make me believe she’s waiting for me in
heaven.”

*****

Dex couldn’t believe he
actually hesitated at the door of the club.
Why is Elspeth affecting me at all?
He gritted his teeth. No matter how close to Sera Elspeth
might make him feel, she’d be dead in a day or two, if not sometime
tonight. And when Elspeth was gone, he’d feel the same way he had
when Sera died. Wouldn’t he? He’d remember how alone he was. How
empty. For even an inkling of belief that he might actually see
Sera again someday, that she waited in heaven, he had to hear
Elspeth say it constantly. When he left her—and when she left
him—any small assurance he’d collected disappeared.

I’m so weak
. . . The thought surprised him. Being weak meant
needing help. He shook his head.
No.
Relying on an imaginary Being for comfort is weak.
He tried to make it sound final in his mind, but
it didn’t.

So he strode forward, grasped the
metal handle, and yanked. The heavy sound of bass thumped louder,
blasting toward his ears and drowning out the disconcerting
thoughts.

“
DEX!”

A voice near the bar attracted Dex’s
attention. He looked up to see Greyson Alexander pushing his way
through the throng of people toward him.

“
Hey, Grey,” Dex shouted
over the ear-splitting music. Why did it sound so much louder than
it usually did?

Greyson clapped Dex on the shoulder.
“Where ya been, man?” he asked.

“
With a friend.” Dex shoved
his hands into his pockets, and scowled when he wondered what
Elspeth was doing.
Stupid
girl
.

Greyson seemed to see something in
Dex’s expression. “Dude. Sorry.” He grimaced.

Dex forced a smile and a cold laugh.
“Hey, if I got broken up for everybody dying around here, when
would I stop crying?”

Greyson nodded. “Sure.” Dex didn’t
think Greyson believed the cool act. He’d know it reminded Dex of
Sera. “Well, I know what can cure that,” Greyson said, pushing Dex
toward the bar he came from.

“
Exactly,” Dex
muttered.

Elspeth’s voice shot
through his brain, somehow taking on the same tonal quality of
Sera’s.
Is that really making you happy,
Dex?

“
Shut up,
Elspeth.”

“
What was that?” Greyson
asked, turning to hand Dex a drink.

“
Nothing.” Dex accepted the
drink gratefully. He swirled it, watching the lights glint of the
deep, red liquid. Again, hesitation surprised him.
Will it make me happy?

For tonight. And that’s
enough.

. . . Or is it?

“
What’s up?” Greyson looked
puzzled.

“
You know, I can’t figure
it out, but I’m not sure this
will
help.” He clenched his teeth. Part of him wanted
to bolt the drink, knowing that with it would come the carelessness
he needed. Part of him knew that no matter how much he drank, he’d
never be as numb as he wanted.

Greyson laughed.

Dex started to push the drink back to
him. “It’s crazy, I know. Not tonight, though.”

“
Dex! You’re late. You said
you’d be here an hour ago.” A gentle swipe from the small of his
back up to his shoulder accompanied the smooth voice that
interrupted.

He turned. “Stella.”

She wrapped her tanned arms around his
waist, resting her hands in the back pockets of his jeans.
Something like glitter shimmered on her naked shoulders, matching
the small sheath of sparkling fabric masquerading as a shirt. His
free hand unconsciously stroked her bare back.

She chewed on her bottom lip, drawing
his attention to her mouth. “I missed you.”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah.
Sorry.”

Stella unhooked one hand from his
pocket to take his drink. She sipped it, scowling at the burn at
first then smiling. “Hard stuff?”

“
Hard day.”

She leaned closer, kissing below his
ear. “Poor baby.”

“
Yeah . . .” he breathed.
Stella’s soft touch, her kiss—that was a reminder of love he’d much
rather have.

Love?

Shut-up, Elspeth.
But it wasn’t her voice. He ignored the guilt. He
brought the drink to his lips and tossed it down. More than alcohol
seared down his throat. He handed his glass to Greyson, smiling,
although it felt ghastly.

“
We’re going to need a few
more rounds.”

*****

“
Elspeth? . . . Ellie,
honey, I think it’s time you went to bed.”

Sera turned away from the dark window
where she’d watched since Dex’s car pulled out of the driveway.
“I’m going to wait for Dex to come home.”

Corinne sighed and stepped into the
room. “You look exhausted.”

Sera tried smiling. “I’m sure I look
worse than exhausted, but I’m still going to stay up and wait for
him.”

Corinne walked to the couch and sat
down. “Elspeth . . .”

Sera reached out and took her hand.
Corinne grimaced at the thin, spindly fingers, but didn’t comment.
“I know you don’t understand,” Sera said. “I’m only here to try and
save Dex. I’m sorry. You must feel like you’re losing your last
moments with me, but I have to do this.”

Corinne shook her head and tried to
swallow. “I’m . . . I’m thankful for the extra time,” she
whispered.

Sera scooted over and wrapped her arms
around Corinne’s shoulders. “I’m going to be just fine. I wish I
could explain.”

Corinne laughed through tears.
“Perhaps spending so much time with Dex made you forget that not
all of us have lost our faith.” Sera furrowed her eyebrows. “Just
the fact that you came back to us—for whatever time we get—was a
miracle, Ellie. I don’t doubt that I’ll see you again. And you seem
to glow, like you finally believe that too.”

Finally?
“I . . . I. . .” Sera didn’t know what to say. She
waited for a reaction from Elspeth, but didn’t know why. Elspeth’s
voice and thoughts had long since faded out.

“
I guess being so near
death tends to change your perspective?” Corinne answered when Sera
couldn’t. “Don’t worry about this mission you have with Dex.”
Corinne chuckled lowly. “Seeing you happier than you have been in
years? That’s a miracle too. I can let you go. It’s almost easy
when I know you know where you’re going.”

Sera exhaled and wrapped her arms
around Corinne again, trying to force back the confusion. What kind
of life did Elspeth have?

Corinne leaned back and fished a
tissue out of her pocket. She wiped her eyes and then glanced
outside. “Headlights,” she pointed out.

Sera ignored them and brushed at some
stray tears on Corinne’s cheek. “Thanks.”

Corinne leaned over and kissed Sera on
the cheek. “Goodnight, dear.”

Sera nodded then finally turned to the
window. She watched Dex get out of his car. She glared when he
walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. A tall
girl slid gracefully out, linking her fingers with Dex’s. A
sequined top, covering only her front, glittered in the porch
light. Dex wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close,
kissing her with passion—drunken passion, Sera could tell with
disgust. Her heart thumped. Dex’s parents were gone for the night.
He mentioned that earlier just as he was leaving. That was the
reason for the date.

She pushed the blankets off
her legs.
Give me the strength to stop
this
. With adrenaline pumping through her
veins, she hurried as fast as she could—not near fast enough for
her—to the front door, but she crossed the enjoined lawns with
care. Having to get back up after falling would take more strength
than she had.

Dex and the girl were already in the
house when she reached the front porch. They hadn’t bothered to
close the blinds in the living room. Sera looked purposefully away
from the lighted window when she banged her fragile fist against
the door. Still images burned her brain. Dex’s arms pulling that
girl closer, into his lap, his lips tracing lines along her jaw,
her neck. Sera swallowed back nausea.

“
Elspeth?” Dex’s slurred
voice sounded shocked. His top button was undone. “What are you
doing here?” He sounded angry.

“
What do you think I’m
doing here?” she demanded, feeling angry and hurt.

Dex pushed at the door, but not hard
since Elspeth shoved her arms against it. “Go home.”

“
No.” With strength she
didn’t know she had, she shoved at the door again. Dex must not
have tried too hard to keep her out. She stepped inside. “Sera
would be heartbroken.”

“
SERA IS DEAD!” Dex
shouted. “Now get out!”

“
NO!” Her own yell sounded
weak in comparison. She hoped the fire in her eyes made up for
it.

“
Should I leave?” voice
interrupted, followed by an intoxicated giggle.

Dex turned. “No. Just go back to the
living room—better yet,” he turned maliciously toward Sera, “you
can go on up to my room. I’ll be up in a minute.”

The girl giggled again and sauntered
to the stairs. She tripped and planted her face into the third step
from the bottom. Sera tried not to feel vindicated.

Dex turned back to Sera, obviously
unconcerned for his companion. “Now is not the time, Elspeth. I
told you. You tried; I’m not buying it so butt out.”