Authors: Julie Lessman
“You could, but I wouldn’t count on it,” Nicki whispered to Lacey, muffling her voice with a pat of her napkin.
“Hey, how come Chase didn’t come tonight?” Sarah asked, taking a sip of her mango Shirley Temple while her brown eyes blinked wide over the sugared rim of her glass.
Jack’s eyes homed in on Lacey, curiosity thinning his gaze. “Yeah, I asked you in the elevator where he was, Lace, but you didn’t answer.”
Lacey sank deeper into the leather and teak chair as she and Nicki exchanged glances.
“I’ll tell you where he is—at home—because
someone
forgot to invite him,” Matt said with a tweak of Nicki’s neck, his knowing wink at Lacey ensuring her that her secret was safe with him. He stood, offering Nicki his hand. “Come on, Someone, you can redeem yourself on the dance floor.”
Nicki paused, her eyes following Jack as he led Jasmine out for a slow song, causing Justin and Nate to follow suit with Sarah and Kelly. “Why don’t you dance with Lacey first, Matt—I need to visit the little-girls’ room, okay?” She rose to brush a kiss to his lips before giving Lacey’s shoulder a squeeze.
“Sure,” Matt said with a crooked grin, “as long as the dancing queen doesn’t step on my brand-new shoes.” He offered her his hand with a wink while Nicki made her way to the restroom. “I’ve heard stories of your dancing skill, Lace, or lack thereof.”
“I beg your pardon, Matthew Ball,” she said in a pretend huff, “but your cousin over there did some damage as well. Nearly put me in a foot cast, as I recall.”
Matt grinned. “Well, he
was
a bit of a nerd back then, nose in the books all the time, so what d’ya expect?”
Lacey took Matt’s hand, eyeing Jasmine plastered against Jack so tight, they could have been one. “Well, I’d say he’s certainly picked up a thing or two since then,” she muttered as Matt led her onto the floor. Relief expanded in her chest when he chose a spot on the other side, his hold loose and comfortable. She exhaled slowly, enjoying the airy feel of glass garage-style doors that opened onto a balcony with cozy couches, umbrellas, and fire pit, all overlooking a beautiful river view. “I can see why Rocks on the Roof is so popular,” she said. “The atmosphere up here is wonderful.”
Matt smiled, but she didn’t miss the sobriety in his eyes. “Usually, although not as much tonight, I guess.”
Head tipped, she gave him a curious gaze. “Why’s that?” she asked, although from his tender expression, she had a suspicion.
He nodded in Jack’s direction, his tone gentle. “About tonight, Lace, I’m really sorry. If I’d known Chase wasn’t coming, I would have never said yes when Jack asked to bring a date.”
“It’s okay, Matt,” she said quickly, striving for a casual air. “I’m fine, really.”
He focused hard, as if searching for the truth behind her forced smile. “Are you?” The soft concern in his voice caused a sting of moisture at the back of her lids. When it came to Jack, she and Matt had always shared a camaraderie over the years—the wild cousin who felt a kinship with the wild girlfriend. And like Jack and her, it seemed Matt and his cousin had traded places too, Matt’s wild ways mellowing into a solid faith while Jack threw caution—and any prior beliefs—to the wind. As Matt studied her now, he probed with a knowing look that dismantled any desire to pretend she was all right. “Nicki says you still have feelings for him …”
She gave a little shrug, her tone suddenly more somber than before. “Sure I do, Matt, why wouldn’t I? I was in love with the man—those feelings don’t just go away completely. So of course I still care about him.”
“And he cares about you, Lace, more than he’s willing to admit.”
She sighed, her smile tinged with sadness. “I know. Which is exactly why I asked Nicki not to invite Chase tonight. No reason to cause Jack anymore hurt, you know?”
Matt’s smile tipped on one side. “Yeah, I do. It’s too bad he didn’t feel the same way.” He glanced across the dance floor where Jasmine was nuzzling Jack’s neck. “But I got the distinct feeling that he can’t handle the idea of you and Chase, which is why he brought Jasmine tonight. She’s his buffer against the feelings he doesn’t want to have for you.”
She shook her head. “I know. It’s a mess, isn’t it? Two people whose love was torn apart at the seams, still tethered by slender threads of caring way too much.” The song came to an end, and she sighed, lifting on tiptoe to press a kiss to Matt’s cheek. “Thanks, Matt, for being such a good friend to us both.”
He paused, his hands on her arms while his face dipped in question. “I’ve been wondering, Lace, do you think …” A sigh blustered from his lips as he tunneled his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. “Well, I’ve seen the pull between the two of you, you know, and I can’t help but wonder …” He hesitated, the love for them both shining in his eyes as he pinned her with a hopeful look. “It’s just that you and your faith would be so good for Jack,” he whispered.
“I agree.” The very notion of loving Jack again ushered a warm shiver through Lacey’s body, but reality quickly doused all romantic notions. “But as a friend, Matt, nothing more, which is what I’m praying for. As far as a man I can marry someday?” She shook her head as she hugged her arms to her waist, her tone laced with regret. “He seems to have this vendetta against God and faith that scares me and puts me on guard. And you and I both know, Matt, I can’t afford to give my heart to a man who not only doesn’t share my faith, but is downright hostile to it as well.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly, slipping his hands in his pockets. He peered up with a half smile, concern deep in his eyes. “I’m just not sure Jack can be friends with you, Lace, and not want to take it further, you know?”
A knot ducked in her throat. “I know.” She managed a wobbly smile. “But it doesn’t look like either of us has a choice right now, not with the wedding.”
“Nope.” Matt slipped an arm to her waist to guide her back to the table. “But for what it’s worth? I’m hoping that somehow, someway, you’ll be the one to finally break through that wall of bitterness Jack’s erected against God. A wall that his mom, Shan, nor I have been able to scale, so my prayers are on you, Lacey Carmichael, as the love of his life.”
“
Ex
love of his life,” she said with a shaky smile, Matt’s words unleashing an unsettling mix of both fear and hope.
Chuckling, he pressed a palm to the small of her back, the jest in his tone at odds with the serious look in his eyes. “For you, maybe, Carmichael, but something deep down inside is telling me loud and clear that it’s not the same for our boy.”
I am such an idiot.
Jack seated Jasmine after their sixth dance, the floor finally clear while the band took a break. His gaze strayed to where Lacey wandered slowly to the open glass doors by herself with a swizzle drink in her hand, obviously with the intent to check out the view. Or to grab a moment alone, he suspected, away from being the only single in the group. Sure each of the guys had asked her to dance—all but him because of Jasmine’s stranglehold—and she certainly seemed to be having a good time. But he sensed her awkwardness, even from across the room, or maybe it was his own unease at being stupid enough to bring a date. Either way, he couldn’t help the clamp of his jaw at the realization that Lacey Carmichael was the only woman he knew who could make him feel like a heel.
“Jack?”
Jasmine’s hand on his arm jolted him from his reverie.
Make that one of two women.
The anxious look in her eyes ensured him she was worried about his feelings for Lacey. She’d made that perfectly clear in the parking lot after they arrived, letting him know as always that she was ready to give him her all, something he’d been dodging since he’d first asked her out six months ago.
Back when Lacey had left, she’d taken his heart with him, leaving him no stomach to ever get close to a woman again. And then his father had left, all but destroying any faith Jack may have had, and suddenly he’d found himself trading in one Savior for another. Medical school became his new salvation, his only focus other than family until he coasted into his first year of residency, when his grueling schedule had him sleeping more hours at the hospital than at home.
Only he’d done way more than sleep in that call room in his early heyday as an intern. A cold slither of “what-ifs” iced his skin at how reckless he’d been. Heyday? More like “play day,” when any morals he had left were more exhausted than he. There had been no shortage of nurses, then, willing to usher him back into the world of dating, and he quickly earned a reputation as a player, which suited him just fine.
Until
a “player” broke his sister’s heart. Jack’s stomach cramped. Shannon, his sweet and gentle sister, had fallen for the wrong guy, a womanizer just like Jack had been. Far too gentle of a soul for this world, she’d had a breakdown when all was said and done, and that was when Jack called it quits on playing it loose. He made a pact with his sisters right then and there, pledging to wait until marriage if they did too.
A pact honed to iron after a trauma of Jack’s own. Sweet Dawn Janis had helped seal the deal, apparently “head over heels” and pregnant to boot, even with the protection both she and Jack had used. He had expected to be relieved when she miscarried early on, but the whole situation had just hollowed him out. Made him sick inside. Children were far too important to risk on pleasure or lust, he’d decided, and certainly too valuable to be branded an accident.
Of course, everybody thought he slept with every nurse he dated, including Matt, but Jack always stopped short of making love to a woman, refusing to give that part of himself away to anybody but a wife ever again. He fought a quirk of his lip. A mindset that seemed to entice the various women he dated all the more, and none more so than the green-eyed beauty who waited before him now. Forcing his attention back to Jasmine, he rubbed her arms with his palms. “Sorry, Jasmine, what did you say?”
She glanced at her watch. “I said I have a friend who works downstairs, so I promised I’d pop in to say hi when her shift begins at eight.” She leaned in to slowly brush her lips against his. “Wanna come? We won’t be long.”
He reeled her close to finish off her kiss with one of his own, luring a soft moan from her lips. “No, you go—I should stay here, and I need to hit the head anyway.”
Her full lips pushed into a tiny pout. “But it’s
you
she wants to meet, Jack, Dr. McDreamy in the flesh.”
He shook his head and chuckled, doubting he’d ever get used to all the attention women doled out, not after so many years with his head in the sand. He deposited a kiss on her nose. “If she’s just starting her shift, then she’ll be there when we leave, so how ’bout I meet her then?”
She sighed, her pout easing into a sulky smile. “I guess. But I promised I’d come by at eight and she’s probably waiting at the door, so I’ll go tell her we’ll be by later, okay?”
Leaning in, he skimmed her mouth with his own before he rose to his feet, pulling her up along with him. “Sounds like a plan, Nurse Augustine. Now hurry back, because I’ll be waiting.”
He watched her leave, grinning when she blew a kiss at the door. The elevator closed behind her, and his gaze immediately flicked outside. Taking advantage of Matt entertaining the table with one of his wild coaching stories, Jack zeroed in on the terrace, determined to make things right with Lacey.
Any other night, the balcony would be teeming with people, every loveseat and table occupied and standing room only, but Nicki had been smart enough to plan this get-together on a Thursday, so Jack had no trouble spotting Lacey. She was leaning against the brick balcony wall at the far end of the building, arms folded on the steel crisscross railing beneath a towering palm. His pulse picked up as he made his way to where she stood alone, those silky blonde curls fluttering in the breeze. In natural reflex, his gaze slowly roamed down her very short dress, affording him a generous view of her beautiful legs.
Whether entranced by Savannah Bridge at twilight—a watercolor wash of purples or pinks spilling into the water—or the sounds of foghorns muffling his footsteps, she didn’t seem to hear his approach. Careful not to startle her, he slowly eased a hip against the brick wall, her profile dusky pink in the waning light. “I owe you an apology, Lace,” he whispered, so low he wasn’t sure she even heard it.
Her gaze remained fixed on the sail-like, cable-stayed bridge that was so much a part of Savannah’s historic riverfront, and she never moved a muscle. Except, of course, for the barest curve of her lips as the sea breeze toyed with her hair. “Don’t be silly, Jack, we’ve both moved on with our lives, I know that. Besides,” she said with a glimmer of a grin, “a hottie like you with a medical degree? I’m surprised you don’t carry a stick.”
He laughed, turning to lean over the railing like her, hands casually clasped over the steel grid. “I leave it in my car.”
The tease in her eyes nailed him as she tilted her head. “Needed it in the parking garage, did you?” She finally angled his way, the dry slant of her lips telling him loud and clear what she’d seen in his car.
He winced, his gaze trained on the swirling waters below. “So that was you, huh?” Hoping to distract her from the heat crawling up his neck, he slid her a sideways grin while the breeze drifted the familiar scent of peach shampoo his way. “I didn’t think good Christian girls advocated hotel rooms for unmarried couples.”
It was her turn to blush apparently, the shadows of a fuchsia sky unable to hide the deepening tint of her cheeks. “I make it a practice to stay out of the personal lives of ex-boyfriends, Jack, so your secret is safe with me.”
“There are no secrets, Lace,” he said with a casual drawl. “I’m just a nose-to-the-grindstone medical school graduate who finally decided to play the field, that’s all.”
She peered up at him out of the corner of her eye. “Pretty crowded field the way I hear it, Dr. McDreamy.” Her face crinkled in a scrunch. “And Jasmine’s okay with that?”
He shrugged, choosing to stare out at the meandering river current rather than Lacey’s face. “I’ve made it perfectly clear to Jazz and every other woman I’ve dated that after spending the last seven years killing myself, I just want to have a little fun for a while.” His gaze veered up to the moon, a slice of tangerine dribbling a golden ribbon across rolling waters. “I’ve always figured honesty is the best policy, and they always have the option of saying no, right?”
“But few do, it seems,” she said, her soft chuckle almost accusatory.
Sucking in a sharp breath, he faced her with a hip to the wall, his voice painfully serious. “You did.”
A glimmer of pain streaked across her face as she hugged her arms to her waist. “Come on, Jack,” she said softly, “I told you before—it was me, not you. I just realized I wasn’t the right girl for you nor was I ready for a commitment back then, so I ran away. And now everything’s changed and the tables are turned because I want things that you don’t want anymore.” She reached out to place a hand on his arm, her tone issuing a plea. “I care about you, Jack, more than I can ever express, but please … can’t we just move on and be friends like we decided at that wedding last week? For Matt and Nicki’s sake as well as ours?”
He studied her face in the moonlight, a face he’d kissed and adored so many times on summer-scented nights just like this, and he ached to hold her like he used to. To return to a time when she longed for his touch as much as he longed for hers right now. To make love to her on a blanket on the dock like she’d begged him to do so long ago on so many moonless nights. But God had stood in their way back then through Jack’s misguided devotion, and now it was God Who still stood in their way today through hers. Sliding his hands in his pockets, he filled his lungs with a deep draw of sea air and slowly released it again, almost wishing she had never come home. “I don’t know if I can do that, Lace,” he said quietly. “Every time I see you, I almost feel like we belong together, so when guys like Chase flirt with you, I get …”
“Jealous?” She cocked her head, lips in a slant. “Talk to me when you see Chase and me playing Twister in the front seat of his car.”
He couldn’t help but grin. “You know what? I think I liked it better when I hated you.”
A dark brow angled high. “That can be arranged, Dr. McDreamy, just give me the word.”
His smile faded into soft affection as he expelled a slow and surrendering sigh. “I guess the ‘word’ is going to have to be friendship then, Lace, although I have no earthly idea how I’m going to do it.”
Her smile was as tender as his. “Well, I suspect there’s a drop-dead gorgeous nurse inside who’s more than ready to make house calls, Jack, so I’d take advantage, my friend.”
He couldn’t resist the tease in his tone. “Already have.”
“Oooo-kay,” she said with great exaggeration, giving him a playful roll of eyes. “Then I think you’re going to be just fine.”
“Yeah, until I see you with Chase.” His smile leveled off.
Every line in her beautiful face softened. “Right now Chase and I are just friends, Jack, just like you and me.”
He glanced up with a half-lidded smile, a bit of the devil in his eyes. “Only he has kissing rights and I don’t,” he countered.
She shook her head, her grin traveling ear to ear. “No, you most definitely do
not
, Jack O’Bryen. Your kisses are way too deadly as I’ve learned all too well in the past.”
His gaze traced every feature of her face, every dimple, every faded freckle, every twinkle in hazel eyes that still haunted his dreams. “I love you, Lacey. Always have, always will.”
A sheen of tears glazed in her eyes. “I love you, too, Jack. Forever and ever, amen.”
His heart cramped at the reference to the Randy Travis song they used to ham up together fishing on the dock or just floating in the dory.
Their
song, Lacey had called it.
Once.
“Ah … so
this
is where you two are hiding.”
Both Jack and Lacey whirled around to find Chase striding forward, a crooked smile on his face. “Hey, Jack, good to see you again,” he said, offering a handshake before turning to Lacey with a sheepish smile. “It seems my invitation got lost in the mail, but Nicki threatened me with my life if I didn’t come anyway.”
Lacey managed a chuckle, the sound as awkward as Jack felt. “I knew she was a bully, but I didn’t realize she’d stoop to badgering the clergy as well.”
Chase laughed, his interest in Lacey as obvious as the twinge in Jack’s gut. “I think the band just started a new set,” he said, nodding toward the dance floor through the mile-wide doors. “You up for it?”
“Uh … sure …” She shot Jack a glance steeped in apology before her hesitant gaze returned to Chase. “Jack and I were just finishing up, so how ’bout I meet you back at the table?”
Jack cleared his throat. “No, really, Lace, go on—we’re done here.”
Palms in the air, Chase took a quick step back, concern crimping the bridge of his nose. “Hey, man, I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to interrupt, it’s just that Nicki said Lacey was out here and that your girlfriend was looking for you too.”
“Yeah, I need to get back.” Jack clapped him on the shoulder before reaching to gently squeeze Lacey’s hand. “And no worries, Chase, we’re done,” he said with a stiff smile.
“You sure?” Chase paused, gaze flicking from Lacey to Jack, “because I can wait if you’re not.”
Chest in a vise, it took everything Jack had to eke out a casual tone. “Nope, we’re through, I promise, so she’s all yours.” He shot them both the mask of a smile on his way to the doors.
Whether I like it or not.