In the quintessential role of Kitri in
Don Quixote
, Vanya’s performance was emotionless and lacked the necessary energy to make the role truly memorable. Instead of sexy and flirtatious, her movements were rigid and uninspired. The dance demanded soaring leaps and split second turns. Each movement required quickness and technical follow through. Paired with Richard in the pivotal scene, the fanciful
Pas de Deux Mauesque
, she should have been brilliant. But instead she was robotic and stiff.
As Vanya’s solo began, Richard exited the stage. Juliet handed him a few tissues to wipe his face. He looked at Juliet and shook his head. “I’ve never seen her dance so poorly. She’s like a zombie on a Thorazine drip.”
Juliet nodded. There was nothing she could say. Vanya had begged for this opportunity and she’d failed miserably. When the performance was over the audience applauded politely. But joy and exuberance was lacking in her performance and Vanya knew it.
She had tried too hard and had failed. When she left the stage Nadine walked over to her and handed her a towel. She didn’t say a word, she just walked away. Vanya turned in the other direction and headed for her dressing room.
Juliet congratulated the troupe and stopped a few minutes to speak with Peter and Richard before leaving. She walked to the back stage door then paused remembering this same performance nearly fifteen years ago. She turned and headed back to the dressing rooms.
Juliet knocked on the dressing room door and waited until she heard the doorknob jiggle. Vanya stuck her head around the door and peeked out. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. She had been crying. “What do you want?”
“To talk.”
Vanya began to close the door.
“Vanya,” Juliet called out holding the door at bay. The door stopped and Vanya walked away leaving the door ajar.
“If you’ve come to gloat, make it fast.”
Juliet walked into her small dressing room and stood just beyond the mirror watching Vanya’s reflection as she removed her makeup.
“I didn’t come to gloat. I came to offer my assistance.”
“I don’t need your help,” she snapped.
“I think you do.”
Vanya looked at Juliet for the first time. “Why are you here?”
“I’m here because I was exactly where you are about fifteen years ago. I got my big break when the prima ballerina broke her foot. The break never healed properly and she never returned to the stage. I went out on stage in her place and I stunk, just like you did tonight. But, I was lucky. She came to my dressing room and told me something I’ve never forgotten.”
Vanya turned around and looked up at Juliet. “What?”
“She told me that I had forgotten something.”
“What, some kind of good luck charm.”
Juliet bit at her lip but decided to be patient with Vanya. “No, she reminded me of why I was out there on stage in the first place. I’d forgotten that I loved to dance more than anything else in the world. And that the next time I went out on stage I needed to remember why I was there. I needed to feel the dance in here, in my heart, in my soul.”
“I was horrible,” Vanya said as a slow tear crept down her thin face.
“Yeah, you were. But you forgot why you were out there. Try remembering that next time. It’s not the dance that makes the dancer, it’s the heart.” Juliet turned to leave. Just as she opened the door and passed through, Vanya called out her name, she stopped and turned.
“Who was the dancer, Lena Palmer?”
Juliet smiled. “No, it was Nadine Palmer.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
The doorbell’s chime sent her heart racing. She already knew who was standing on the other side, J.T. She’d been avoiding him for days with one excuse after another knowing of course that one day she’d have to face him. Apparently today was the day. He called earlier and said to expect him later that day and he refused to accept any more excuses.
She hobbled to the foyer door, placed her crutches behind it and cautiously limped to the front door. The doctor in the ER told her to stay off her foot for the next week or so and she should not have problem.
Juliet opened the door. Her mouth suddenly went dry as they each stood staring. “Vanya?”
“Hi Juliet, I hope you don’t mind. Richard told me where you lived a long time ago when he and I were,” she flushed red looked away and shrugged, “together.”
“Come in,” Juliet said finally getting over the shock of seeing Vanya standing in her doorway. Vanya took a few steps and waited for Juliet at the entrance of the foyer. “And for the record, there’s no need to be embarrassed about your relationship with Richard. I think it was pretty obvious at the time. The two of you seemed well-suited.”
“I know,” she stuttered quietly. “It’s just that you and Richard are…were…”
“…Are the best of friends and that’s all we ever were and ever will be. There was never anything physical or romantic between us.”
“But, I just assumed that… well you know… I mean Richard never actually said anything… I mean I thought that since you two were so close… doesn’t everybody think that you and he…” she spoke in half-broken sentences and never actually completed a single thought.
“Vanya, you haven’t been at this company for very long. There’s a lot you have to learn and not all of it takes place on stage. You’ve been a dancer for a long time I’m sure, but being a dancer and knowing the business of life are two different things.”
She nodded understanding. “I know I should have called first, but I wasn’t sure that you’d talk to me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Juliet motioned for her to continue walking through the foyer and into the living room.
Vanya slung her dance bag over her shoulder, turned and walked into Juliet’s house. She stopped short in the living room admiring the wall of mirrors and the dance barres on both sides of the room. “This is magnificent,” she remarked with added enthusiasm. She grasped the barre, looked at her reflection in one mirror then turned slightly and looked at herself across the room. “I love this idea. How did you do this?”
Juliet watched as she continued to observe her body in the mirrors. She was like a kid in a candy store. “Simple, I hung mirrors, seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Aren’t you gonna miss this?”
“Yes, terribly. But lately I’ve realized that life goes on, yes, even off stage,” she paused for a second then shook her head slightly and smiled. For the first time in a long time she actually believed it. She knew that she’d survive her last performance on stage just as she had survived her first. The new life awaiting her, whatever she chose to do would be just as exciting as the nightly ovations.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yes,” Vanya said. “I just wanted to thank you for the other night. I guess I was pretty bad out there. It was just so hard. I thought that…”
“…It would be easier?”
Vanya nodded.
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“On how prepared you are.”
Vanya nodded. “Anyway, thanks for afterwards. It really got me thinking. When I was growing up my mother and father were very strict. I had to practice for hours and hours every day. I never had any friends. I was always too busy and,” she paused in moment and shrugged, “scared. Ballet is all I know. It’s all I ever wanted to do. But when I realized that I couldn’t do it.”
“Who said you couldn’t do it? You just need a little trust.”
“In what?”
“In yourself.”
“But I am confident.”
“No Vanya, I didn’t say being confident. I said having the kind of trust inside that takes your talent to another level. Once you’re there they’ll be nothing you can’t do.”
“I don’t think I understand.”
“You were nervous when you were on stage last night, it’s understandable. Being the center of attention and carrying the entire performance is a tremendous responsibility.”
“You did it at my age.”
“I had help.”
“Nadine and Lena.”
“Yes, among others.” They gave me a sense of trust in my ability. It filled my heart with dance and the emotion flowed from there.”
“I still don’t think I get it.”
“I’ll tell you what. If you like, I could show you a few things to help.”
“Would you really?”
“Of course, anytime.”
“How about now, I have my tights and shoes in my bag and since you have this room,” she said motioning around the empty room, “Maybe you could show me now?”
“Great idea, why don’t you go upstairs and change, warm up and I’ll put some coffee on.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Of course not, the guest bedrooms are upstairs rear, it doesn’t matter which one you use.”
“Thank you Juliet,” Vanya said happily and hurried upstairs.
Vanya danced for the next three hours, listening to Juliet’s input and altering her technique accordingly. Two pots of coffee later they were sitting on the floor as Vanya stretched to relax her tight muscles. She’d gone upstairs and changed back into her street clothes and returned to Juliet’s side. “I have to dance Kitri again tonight.”
“You’ll be wonderful.”
“Not as good as you,” she offered.
“I’ve been doing this a long time. Believe me, you’ll do just fine. Just trust in the love of the dance. The performance will naturally come. Did you get a chance to speak to Nadine?”
“Yes, this morning, she gave me a list of things to work on for tonight’s performance.” Vanya smiled a smile of a young girl with optimism. She pulled out a piece of paper and began listing the points that Nadine suggested she work on. “Line, elevation, and purity.”
“Sounds like my first list.” They both smiled. “Listen to her, she knows. She’s been where I am and where you will be in time.”
“Thank you. No one’s ever helped me like this before. It’s like you know exactly what I’m going through.” Vanya looked down at Juliet’s bandaged foot. “I’m sorry about your ankle. Is it very bad?”
“I’ll be back just in time for my finale.”
“I can’t wait to see it. Everybody’s talking about it. I just know it’s going to be incredible.”
“I hope so.”
Just as they stood to leave the doorbell rang. Juliet’s heart jumped, J.T.. She and Vanya walked to the door. A delivery man stood with a clipboard. “I have a delivery for Juliet Bridges. Sign here please.”
J.T. stood and paced his office like a caged lion. He walked over to the window stood a moment then walked back to his desk and sat down. He punched a few keys on the keyboard, and began running the program he had currently been developing again. The four monitors that made up the multi-screen system on his desk came to life. He typed in his digital access code and began.
Five hours later he glanced at his watch. It was six o’clock and although he’d been highly productive, the day crawled by. He looked at the four monitors in front of him. Admitting that he wasn’t getting much done, he began shutting down the system.
Half an hour later he decided that it was time to see Juliet. He drove to her house, parked and then rang the doorbell. She answered the second time he rang.