Invisible Assassin (25 page)

"You seem to understand him well," she commented.

"I do. I knew him as a youth. When I found him, he was as he is now, filled with an uncontrollable rage that made him murderous. He tried to kill me several times for no other reason than I was alive. Over the years he learnt to control it, and now he must find that control again, or even you may be in danger. You remember how he was before his retirement? When he's like that again, then release him."

"I see." Chiana gazed at him. "It seems I need to understand him better than I do, Elder Talon. Can you not spare the time to tell me more about him? Will you sit, have some wine, a meal perhaps?"

Talon hesitated, looking reluctant, then shrugged and sighed, lowered himself onto the cushions and accepted a cup of wine. "Before his retirement, I would not have spoken of his past, you understand? A working assassin must necessarily be a mysterious fellow, or else his ways would lead to his downfall.

"In Blade's case a deeper understanding of him would definitely undermine his abilities. So I've kept silent all these years, as a mentor must, for the performance of his pupils reflects upon his teachings. If they meet their end through his carelessness, the Guild will chastise him. Even to the Queen herself I could divulge no details, but now..." He shrugged. "What would you like to know?"

"What was he like when you found him?"

"A killer, to put it bluntly, my lady. He ambushed me in an alley and tried to bash out my brains with a rock. He wanted my money, but, being an assassin, though recently retired, I was a match for him. I knocked him unconscious, and almost left him to die in the gutter, but before I did I had to see who I had beaten. Imagine my surprise to find him such a youth. He looked about fourteen, but in fact he was then sixteen years old. I have to say, at first I thought him a girl in boy's clothes.

"Thinking this, I took him back to my rooms and revived him. He puzzled me exceedingly at first, for his voice was too deep for a girl, or a boy of fourteen. The first thing he did upon awakening was to try to kill me again. Never have I seen such hatred in a boy's eyes, such rage..." Talon shook his head and sighed.

"I had to tie him up, and kept him bound for nearly two tendays. By that time I had tired of his stench, and managed to talk to him a little, although all he did was growl like an animal. I had started to wonder if he was an idiot, when finally he condescended to speak, and promised not to try to harm me." Talon smiled ruefully.

"Of course, as we all now know, he's a consummate liar. Still, I released him and persuaded him to bathe, gave him clean clothes and fed him. For two nights he remained calm, then he attacked me again on the third. As you may not know, I was not a dagger man. Close combat was not my strength. It isn't for any assassin, and I used a crossbow when I traded. He wounded me with a kitchen knife, but once again I subdued him. I was younger then, and he was weak from starvation.

"I tied him up and spent time-glasses, no, days, talking to him, trying to persuade him to become my apprentice. I had realised by then what an excellent candidate he was. He didn't like the idea at first, nor did he agree for several moons. During that time, he came and went as he pleased. I fed and clothed him, still hoping to persuade him.

"Finally he agreed, and I began to teach him. He chose his weapon quickly and spent all his time perfecting his skill, for he had no other interests. Because of this, I also taught him the Dance early on to give him something else to do. He excelled at both skills, and spent all day doing one or the other."

Talon paused to take a gulp of wine. "By then, I had realised what he was, and saw a way to use it to his advantage. Even now, he's a handsome man, but at sixteen he looked more like a woman, quite honestly. He was furious when I made the suggestion. He ran away for a tenday, and returned thin and dirty.

"I didn't broach the subject again for some time, and when I did, he took it more calmly and allowed me to experiment with face paint. But the first time he saw the result in a mirror, he tried to throttle me."

Talon shook his head again. "Ah, Regent, you have no idea of the... confusion he suffered from. What it must be for a boy of sixteen, on the verge of manhood, to be robbed of it. To long for manly things, but to have skin like milk and hair like silk... and to look so captivating with just a little paint and powder. He hated it, he hated himself, and me, and the Cotti. He hated everyone. I didn't attempt to persuade him further along those lines. Seeing his need, I made him exercise brutally, and I admit, sometimes overmuch.

"But when he started to see the results as his shoulders broadened and his body hardened, he pushed himself harder than I had. I trained him for two years. Usually it takes four, but he was ready for his first kill at eighteen, and got his tattoo just a few days later. For two years after his tattooing, he shared his profits with me, as is the rule. After the first year, he won the belt and became the Master of the Dance, which gained him a great deal of work."

Talon drained his wine cup and put it down. "I don't know when he started disguising himself as a woman to make his kills. He never spoke of it, and only I knew how he came to be known as the Invisible Assassin. I was sad when he left my house. I missed him, although I had another apprentice. He was special."

"He still is," Chiana murmured.

"Indeed, you'll get no argument from me. But now perhaps you can see that I never meant him harm, and when I wished him dead it was for his sake. You have only known him recently. You didn't see the struggle he went through to come to terms with what he is.

"I flattered myself that he might have cared for me, but over the years I've come to believe that he has not cared for anyone since his family died. Unlike my other apprentices, who visit me often after they become assassins, once Blade no longer shared his living with me, he vanished. I didn't see him for years at a time, and then only when he was forced to come to guild meetings and defend his title."

"And you believe that what he is going through now is the same as he went through when he was sixteen?"

Talon shook his head. "No, it's worse. Then he was young and headstrong, bent on avenging himself upon any who stood in his way. Now he's had his revenge, achieved his goals, lost his trade and title, and become nothing. He has no future unless he takes an interest in his estate, but here he has nothing to occupy him, for he cannot take an apprentice while he dwells in the palace.

"With no prospect of love or family... I beg your pardon, my lady. He's your husband, of course, but... Assassins don't wed, but they do fall in love and have families, especially after they've retired. I have four sons and a daughter. I believe, due to his... condition, he'll never allow himself to grow attached."

"He does care for me, Elder Talon," Chiana stated.

"No, my lady. I beg your pardon again, but I think not. He may care about you, and is proud of you, I'm sure, but nothing more. You're a thing he never thought to possess, yet he hates his inability to be a proper husband. The Elder Queen, may God rest her precious soul, did a wonderful thing when she made him a sacred Knight of the Veil. As you may know, eunuchs often find attachment to other men, but Blade had a mortal loathing of such a thing. I believe that's why he left me when he could."

Talon coughed, looking embarrassed. "It's a delicate subject, Regent. Let's just say that he shuns all attachments for fear... not so much of hurting others but of being hurt himself."

"But I would never do such a thing." Chiana blinked. "Why would he fear it? What could I do? I am his wife; I cannot leave him, nor spurn him."

"No, it's not that which he fears. Doubtless he's certain of your affection, but the slightest hint that you long for children he cannot father, or the intimacy of which he is incapable, would injure him deeply, if he cared. Assurances of the opposite he would discount as lies, for he knows the ways of the world too well."

Talon frowned at her sorrowful expression. "My dear lady, it grieves me to tell you these things, but I must. You cannot win his affection, no matter how hard you try. I would venture to say that he feels more for me than you, and that's little enough."

She struggled to control her expression. "He has sworn that he would defend me, and avenge me if necessary, and that he would never harm me."

"That doesn't mean he cares." Talon shook his head, looking pained. "He would guard you as he would his estate or a prized horse... I don't mean to insult you, but it's true. He looks upon you as a possession, nothing more. Naturally he would not harm you, any more than he would burn down his house or slaughter his horse. It's not love as you would wish it."

"I see."

Talon studied her. "I pray that you do, my lady. If the lady I love was killed, I should not only avenge her, but mourn for the rest of my life, even become sick with it, I'm sure. If you were killed, Blade would avenge you and perhaps regret your loss a little, but it would not touch him any deeper than that."

"Is there no way to reach him?" Chiana hated to discuss such intimate details with a stranger, but Talon seemed sympathetic and understanding, drawing her further into the subject.

He sighed. "If there is, I don't know it. Kindness, praise, or caring will not suffice, for mine did little. In fact, he seemed to prefer it when I was hard on him, and punished him for some wrong doing. Then he would become friendlier, but whether or not it was an act I cannot say. He's a complex man. Few would be able to understand him."

"Perhaps his sister did. He found her in Cotti, one who survived, and she rejected him because of his trade."

"I would guess that to be very bad for him, my lady. Whereas he may appear to thrive on harshness from those he doesn't care about, to receive it from one he does care for would be painful for him."

Chiana stared at her empty wine cup, her thoughts distant, and Talon waited for her to return from her reflections. After a while, he murmured, "If you're contemplating some sort of test to try to divine his feelings, don't. You'll be the one who's hurt."

She raised her head. "I was not. I am not a fool. I was merely pondering my unhappy situation. I have kept you too long from your other duties, please accept my apologies."

Chiana put down her cup and rose, brushing at her skirts. Talon rose to his feet and bowed. He hesitated, then dug inside his jacket and produced a leather bag, opening the drawstring.

"I brought this to give to you. I don't know what significance it has for Blade. It was tied around his neck when I found him, and I took it from him while he was unconscious. I felt that it was a source of great anguish to him, so I didn't give it back."

He dipped his hand into the bag and drew out a hank of glossy, tightly braided black hair. One end was tied with a leather thong long enough to encircle a neck. Chiana took it and studied it. The hank was a good six hand spans long, and appeared to have been hacked off at one end.

"One of his sisters, perhaps?" she suggested.

Talon shrugged. "I have no idea. Perhaps he'll tell you now, since it's so far in the past, but I recommend that you delay until he's himself again."

"I shall. Thank you."

Talon bowed again. "My pleasure, Regent."

After the elder assassin left, Chiana contemplated the hank of hair for many time-glasses, running it through her hands as she tried to imagine where it had come from and why Blade had carried it with him from the desert. It remained a mystery, however, for the assassin was still confined to the dungeons, and would be for some time yet.

A further two tendays passed before Blade stopped shouting and tugging at his chains. During this time he found many ways to enrage and humiliate his jailers, so much so that Chiana was afraid to visit him. Then an icy calm descended on him, and his jailers found him sitting quietly, not resigned, but coldly seething.

After one day of this, Chiana ordered his release. He went straight to his rooms and soaked in a tub for several time-glasses, scrubbing away the layers of dirt. As soon as he was dressed, he started packing, and was so employed when she went to visit him.

Upon entering his room she received a cold glare, and she sank down on the bed when she saw his occupation. "You are leaving?"

"What did you expect?"

"I did not want to do it, I had to. I would not do it again."

"You will not get the chance."

"I am not going to try to stop you going this time. I know now that it is better if you leave." She noted the two daggers in his belt as he turned to take another shirt from the cupboard and stuff it into the leather bag. "Why do you not let Arken do that?"

"I can do it quicker."

"I must talk to you before you go."

He shrugged. "So talk."

"I had to stop you from drinking yourself to death."

"Why bother?"

She sighed, shaking her head. From his demeanour, he was beyond caring about her opinion or feelings. "I asked Talon to help, and he told me what to do."

"I should kill that bastard, but I could not be bothered."

"He gave me this." She pulled the hank of hair from the little bag and held it out.

Blade stopped to gaze at it, then swung away again. "I wondered where that went. So he kept it all these years. I wonder why?"

"He thought it was important to you."

"He was wrong."

"Is it your sister's?"

He paused to stare at her. "What do you think I am, a ghoul?"

"Whose is it then?"

"It is mine."

Chiana hesitated, confused. "Why?"

Blade stuffed the last shirt into the bag and pulled the drawstring tight, then walked over to her and took the hank of hair, running it through his hands. "Keep it as a souvenir, if you want." He tossed it back to her.

"Please tell me, Blade. Why did you cut it off and keep it?"

Blade went to the door to bellow into the passage for Arken. When the servant appeared, Blade ordered a meal and a horse to be saddled in one time-glass. He wandered over to the window and stared out.