Invisible Assassin (12 page)

"No, but your mother would."

She inclined her head. "Probably. But we stray from the subject. We are not here to argue the policies of previous monarchies, but the proposed punishment of Lord Dorgon." She looked at the assassin. "Blade, your sister is against it and so is Kerrion. I take no sides in the matter, so it seems that you are without support."

"As I expected," he growled, glaring at Kerrion. "Then it is the price I demand for your brothers' assassinations."

Alenstra gasped, looking away as if she could not bear the sight of her brother, and Kerrion eyed Blade with a frown. "I see. Both of them?"

"If you wish."

"It would certainly be a bargain. Dorgon is not an important lord, only a minor one with a small following. I do not particularly want him dead, but if you make it your fee I have little choice. I am surprised you do not ask it as payment for Ronan's death."

Blade shrugged. "Ronan's death will cost you more, and at the moment my Queen forbids me to attempt it."

Kerrion glanced at Minna. "Yes, I know. I understand that you do not expect to survive the mission."

"I may have mentioned that in passing, though it does not deter me from the task. My sister's freedom is part payment, so his death warrant is signed, so to speak. All I await is my Queen's approval, and Prince Ronan dies."

The King nodded. "I see. Well, as to the other, I shall order Dorgon to the palace, thus making your task easier. I suppose, since it is your fee for services rendered, I must be your client."

"No. My services are available only to the Queen. She must give the order that will gain me the payment I demand." Blade turned to look at Minna, who gazed at him with sad eyes.

All three looked around in surprise when Alenstra burst out, "No, My Queen, I beg you, don't give the order."

Minna's brows rose. "You beg for the life of your former master?"

"No, I don't care if he lives or dies, but I don't want my brother to kill again. He condemns himself to eternal damnation."

"I think he has already done that," Kerrion muttered, earning himself a stern glance from the Queen.

Minna turned to Alenstra, looking sympathetic. "My lady, you know what your brother is, I presume? It is his trade, and one that he has excelled at for years. Another assassination makes no difference to him."

"But not on my behalf. It's bad enough that he has disgraced his family by becoming what he is. I don't want to give him an excuse to kill again."

Kerrion shot an amused look at Blade, who ignored it. Minna also glanced at the assassin, but in concern and shock. She turned to regard Alenstra with a frown.

"Lady Alenstra, your brother is no disgrace to his family. Rather, he has covered himself with glory and is to be greatly admired. He has accomplished feats thought impossible by other men, and helped to bring about an end to the Endless War by assassinating King Shandor and Prince Lerton, enemies of Jashimari.

"He has earned titles and wealth beyond imagining, the respect of his Queen and even his former enemy, King Kerrion. As Lord Protector of Jashimari, husband of Regent Chiana and foster father of Queen Kerra-Manu, as well as a sacred Knight of the Veil, he is assured a place in the Everlasting. Any insult to him is an insult to me, my Regent and my daughter."

Alenstra shrank from the Queen's diatribe, looking lost and uncertain. Minna softened her tone, adding, "I am bound by the bargains made here today. I can fail to give the order, thereby earning Blade's ire and the loss of his services, which we need greatly just now. Prince Ronan plots to murder me, and the only way to stop him is to kill him before he acts.

"I can see that you, raised in a lord's harem, have no notion of politics or the brutality of the world. If you wish to spare your former lord, you must apply to your brother. At this moment only he has the power to prevent Dorgon's death."

Alenstra turned despairing eyes upon Blade, who did not meet them, but schooled his expression to a study of disinterest. He accorded the Queen a brief bow and headed for the door. Minna watched him leave, and he wondered if she sensed the pain he tried to hide.

Blade lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling with dull eyes. Alenstra's words echoed in his mind, and he could not deny the truth of them. Despite the Queen's defence of him, he agreed with his sister. He was a disgrace to his family. His father would have shunned him as his sister was doing. His mother would have wept and torn her clothes; his brothers would have jeered and reviled him, then chased him from the family's land and ordered him never to return.

Thus it was with assassins, those few who had a family. Most were orphans and waifs as he had been, found by a retired assassin and instructed in the trade, then obliged to support their mentor for two years after they received their tattoo. Had he been warned of Alenstra's discovery, he would have sent her straight to Jashimari without ever risking a confrontation and the shame that would ensue. There was no way to hide it from her once she had met him. Kerrion had already given it away by using his trade name, and his elevation to such high rank could not be explained any other way.

A timid knock at the door made him tense, and he called out for the applicant to enter. Alenstra came in with a lamp, which she set on the table beside the candle already there. Blade frowned at her.

"What do you want?"

She looked down at her twisting hands. "I've come to ask you not to kill Lord Dorgon."

He lay back with a sigh. "I should have guessed. It's late, and I have no wish to discuss this now."

"What is there to discuss? It's a simple request, which I had hoped you might grant, since I'm your sister."

"I'm not doing it for you, so you have no say in the matter."

"I think you are. The thought of what he did to me is eating you alive, isn't it? But I'm the one he humiliated, not you, yet I have no wish for revenge. Two bad deeds don't add up to any good, and if you kill him it will make me more ashamed. If you want to do something for me, since you seem to have so much power around here, then bring me my children. They're your nephews and nieces, and I'd like them to be raised as Jashimari."

"That can be arranged."

Alenstra came closer, stopping beside the bed. "And Lord Dorgon? Will you let him live?"

"He deserves to die."

"Perhaps, but to forgive is more difficult and therefore more noble than revenge. It was revenge that led you to become what you are, and it's done you no good." She perched on the edge of the bed. "It's not too late to turn from this path and seek another. Each time you kill, you die a little yourself, for you're not a bad person inside."

He turned his head to look at her, frowning. "And if I do this, will you stop shuddering at my touch?"

"I'll try. It's difficult not to think of all the blood you've spilt, all the men who have died at your hands. But if you give it up now, we could return to Jashimari together and be a family. You're an uncle; you could help to raise my children as if they were your own. My youngest is only five."

Blade sat up, studying her. "This would make you happy?"

"Yes, of course."

His eyes narrowed. "You're lying, Alenstra. You don't want an assassin for a brother any more than the next person. You'll always shun me, even if I swear never to kill again and burn this mark from my skin. Then I would be worse than an assassin, I'd be nothing. There are no paths leading off the one I'm on, and you can't change that. When I became an assassin, I thought myself alone, and now I won't allow you to make me feel ashamed."

She stared at the tattoo visible above the open neck of his loose white shirt. "Papa would have wept -"

Blade swung his legs off the bed and jumped up. "Don't tell me what our father would have done, I know! He wouldn't have wept, mother would, and Rykar would have chased me away. Orcal would have shouted insults and Shinda would have cried, little Ryana would have been utterly confused. Father would have done exactly what you're doing, shunned me. I remember them too. I haven't forgotten their names, have you?"

She shook her head, wringing her hands. "I've tried not to think about them too much."

"Then remember them now, in order of birth, Rykar, Alenstra, Conash, Orcal, Shinda, Ryana. My name is there too, cursed though it may be to you. Rykar, eldest son, kin of the wolves. You, Alenstra, eldest daughter, kin of hawks... where is your familiar?"

"Dead."

He nodded. "Of course. Then there's me, Conash, second son, kin of cats, and Orcal, third son, kin of deer. Shinda, second daughter, kin of horses, and lastly Ryana, third daughter, kin of humming birds. I haven't forgotten anything about them, and my name belongs with theirs no matter what I am now."

She bowed her head, and his voice rose to a shout. "Am I boring you?" He picked up a vase and hurled it across the room with a mighty crash. "Don't lie to me! Don't make promises you cannot keep! I've suffered enough already. I don't need to be misled by my sister!"

Blade looked around for something else to break, but the room was quite bare of ornaments, so he swept up the half-empty bottle of wine and smashed it against the wall. "I've had fourteen years of hard looks and furtive spitting behind my back, snide remarks and insults from strangers, innumerable attempts on my life! I don't need it from you! I have paid enough for what I am!"

Alenstra covered her face and wept. Blade hurled a wine cup across the room with a satisfying clatter, then strode over to her, gripped her wrists and yanked her to her feet. "Stop it! I don't want your tears, or your pity, and certainly not your lies! You will get your children, and you'll be rid of me soon enough!"

Alenstra shrank from him, her eyes wide, and he released her to swing away and stride in a circle like a caged cat. She made a dash for the door, desperate to escape his fury. Blade caught her and yanked her back, pushing her against the wall. She stared at him, gasping with fear.

He thrust his face close to hers. "I am your brother!" he bellowed, "Nothing can change that, do you hear me? Your brother!" His voice dropped almost to a whisper. "And you're afraid of me, aren't you? Not because your master ill-treated you. I will wager he never had to beat you for disobedience, did he? You're afraid of me for the same reason that everyone else is; because I'm an assassin. You think I just love to kill, that I do it for fun, and always have a dagger at hand."

He released a dagger from its wrist sheath and let it slip into his hand, holding it before her eyes. "There it is. Clever, hmm? Do you think for one second that I would use it on you? Do you have any idea what you mean to me? I see myself in you. You're a part of me, and I would more likely kill myself than harm a hair on your head."

Blade drew back his hand and smashed the dagger into the wall beside her head, twisting the blade and making her jump and squeak in fright. He growled, "My wife has more courage than you, and she took a greater risk! I would kill anyone who so much as insulted you, and that's why Dorgon must die. Don't you feel just a little bit privileged to be so cared for by a man who cares for nothing and no one else in this world?"

Blade swung away, inspecting his hand, which bled from a nasty gash. "Ah, what's the use? You'll shun me no matter what I say. Funny, isn't it?" He gave a harsh laugh. "So many people have longed for my affection, but the one person who has it doesn't want it."

Alenstra swallowed hard, looking pale and ill. Blade turned his back on her, fully expecting her to slip out of the door now that she was free to do so. Instead she approached him, staring at the blood on his hand, and walked around to stand in front of him. He regarded her dispassionately, his mouth twisted with bitterness.

She gulped, brushing a tear from her cheek. "You're wrong. I do want it. You're all I have -"

"You're lying again." He shook his head. "You always were a bad liar. You never fooled me. You lied to the Queen too, which I dislike. All that nonsense about eternal damnation, about not wanting me to kill Lord Dorgon because you were concerned about me. All lies. Why don't you try telling the truth? Do that, and I might not kill your beloved lord. Admit it; you love him, don't you?"

Her eyes slid away. "For a few years I was his favourite. I even thought he would marry me. He's not a bad man, and you're right, he never beat me. I think he loves me, or used to."

"At last, the truth. How inconvenient to be taken from him by a brother you would rather was dead."

"That's not true. I'm glad you found me. I'm happy you're alive."

The assassin sighed, watching the blood ooze from his hand. "No you're not. Maybe at first, but since you've learnt what I am you cannot bear the sight of me." He raised his eyes. "Just get out."

She hesitated, glancing at his hand. "You're hurt, let me help you."

"No. Go away."

"You won't kill Lord Dorgon?"

"Get out!"

Alenstra fled from his furious bellow, slamming the door behind her. Blade sank down on a chair and stared at the floor. Perhaps worse than her rejection of him was Alenstra's affection for the Cotti lord. It turned his triumph of finding and freeing her into a travesty, and made a mockery of his plans to avenge her enslavement. The one person who might have brought him happiness had betrayed him, shunned him for a Cotti lord, and the pain of her defection cut deep. Raising his bleeding fist, he slammed it against the table top, the pain momentarily dulling the torment within him with a far more familiar kind of suffering.

Chapter Seven

The next day, Blade surprised Minna-Satu with another visit, and she sensed that something was amiss. She dismissed her handmaidens with a flick of her fingers, and, when he had settled on a cushion before her, he wasted no time in coming to the point.

"I no longer wish to assassinate Lord Dorgon, My Queen. I would ask that my sister be sent back to him as soon as possible."

Minna plucked a grape from a nearby fruit bowl to hide her surprise. "I see. Kerrion will be pleased. Dare I ask what has brought about this change of heart, My Lord?"