Investment in Love (Contemporary Romance) (9 page)

When Ellie opened the door of the house the next morning, she didn’t know what she was expecting. Maybe she thought Calvin would grab her and kiss her all over again, or maybe that he would revert to being entirely distant—but instead, when she followed his call of “Upstairs!” she found him sitting at the library amid piles of books, looking wild-eyed and exhausted. He had not shaved yet, but the beginnings of a beard only seemed to make him look more attractive.

“Ellie, you’re not going to believe it!” he said enthusiastically.

“Believe what? Have you slept?” Her brow furrowed in concern.

Calvin brushed it off. “I started reading the diaries. I think I know who he is!” Calvin held up one of the old photos they had discovered, and Ellie realized that the old chest was in here too, amid the leather-bound diaries.

“Seriously?” For a moment, she forgot everything but her curiosity.

“Yes! Loretta started keeping a diary when she was like 15—but only a few entries in, she mentions meeting a boy who was visiting from out of town. His name was Edward,
just like the family in the newspaper article.
Edward Talbot. I think that’s him.” Calvin gestured around, clearly looking for the newspaper clipping, but shrugged when he couldn’t find it.

“It was love at first sight—for Great-Aunt Loretta, anyway. But then the Talbots left again after the summer and she was so heartbroken. That’s when she switched to writing the diary entries to ‘You’—I think ‘you’ is Edward. The boy she loved!”

“Oh wow,” said Ellie, staring at the pile of diaries. “And she kept writing to him for her whole life? What happened?”

“Well, things get happier for a little while, kind of. Her life was pretty tough, but Edward and his family came back visiting two summers in a row. The only problem is that Loretta wasn’t allowed to write to him. It sounds like his family didn’t approve.”

“How sad.” She could feel the pain the other woman must have felt, still a teenager but already being told she wasn’t good enough.

“Mhm. Listen. ‘I don’t know how much I can bear being away from you, my love. It seems forever until June, even if it’s only two more miserable months. Surely, now that you are of legal age, we can be together.’ But that didn’t work out. Listen to this one the next summer.”

Calvin dug around wildly in the pile for another diary. “Sorry,” he added as an aside, seeming sheepish. “I was up all night reading these. I couldn’t stop. I hope we don’t have anything to work on.”

“It’s okay,” she said, chattering nervously. “They’ll pull out the rest of the furniture today, but we just have to stay out of the way. It should be fine to read. They don’t need the books.” She closed her mouth sheepishly, realizing that she was babbling.

“Aha!” He held up a volume victoriously, seeming not to have heard anything she’d said, and opened to a page marked by a ribbon. “’Oh, dearest, I don’t know what madness you’ve led me into. My head is all awhirl with what we’ve done. I feel so happy, but also not, all at once. I don’t think I could deny you anything—nor you me, at least in that moment this afternoon. But all the same, I know this is wrong. We can’t go on like this. Surely now you’ll marry me! I don’t care what your parents will think. Our love is real.’”

Fascinated, Ellie held out her hand for the diary, and stared down at the angst-filled words on the page. “So they became lovers,” she breathed.

“Yes, I think so!” said Calvin, his blue eyes shining in excitement. “She risked her reputation—but I guess he never did marry her. That’s as far as I’ve gotten.”

For a moment, they rested there, eyes locked on one another. “Ellie, listen,” said Calvin, suddenly sounding very serious. “I’m not with Mallory. I told her I won’t be seeing her anymore.”

Ellie felt her eyes go wide. She didn’t know what to say. Was it possible? Could he really be interested in her instead? The hope that she had kept buried in her chest sprang to the surface. “Are you sure?” she asked softly. “I… I really want to be with you, Calvin. But you haven’t seemed interested.”

“Ellie, look. I want to be with you. Just you. I was being an idiot.”

Her mouth was dry as she responded. “Why now? What changed?”

Calvin stood up and moved before her, and she felt her breathing speed up nervously. “I didn’t even like Mallory, honestly. That was only our second date. But, Ellie, yesterday, standing there by the waterfall, it hit me how much I feel for you. And now, reading these”—he gestured at the diaries on the table—“I don’t want that to be us. I don’t want one of us pining after the other for a lifetime.”

“Oh,” she said. This close she could see each eyelash that framed his gorgeous, deep blue eyes.

“And that kiss, Ellie… It was mind-blowing.” Though Calvin sounded calm, Ellie saw him swallow nervously.

“It was,” she breathed. They stood together for a moment, frozen.

Instead of waiting for him to make the move, this time Ellie led. Her lips brushed his cautiously and then caught, deepening into a slow, sweet kiss. Calvin’s mouth was gentle but firm, and as the embrace intensified, he slid a hand into her hair and pulled her tighter to him.

“Ellie,” he said, breaking away for moment, “I’m so sorry about yesterday. I don’t want to lose you.”

She had to catch her breath before replying. “You’re not seeing Mallory anymore, right?” She still felt vulnerable from yesterday’s shock.

“No,” he said. “Trust me, please. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it to you in the first place.”

***

Calvin looked at Ellie’s wide vulnerable eyes and her pretty pink cheeks and knew he’d meant what he just said. He wanted this woman to trust him absolutely.

She laid her head on his shoulder and murmured, “Of course I trust you,” and a knife of guilt twisted in his stomach. She had no idea that he’d been lying to her—lying to everyone about why he was in Carterville. Calvin looked down at the soft waves of Ellie’s hair against his shirt and felt how perfectly she fit into his arms. He didn’t want to leave her.

He made a decision. It had seemed hard, but now, looking down at Ellie, it was incredibly easy.

He wasn’t going to take the inheritance. It wouldn’t be right to take advantage of Ellie and try to rush her into marriage for the sake of money. “Ellie,” he said slowly, tipping her face up toward him, and stealing another quick kiss, “I know it’s early for this, but I need you to hear something. I—I really care about you. I will do whatever it takes to be with you. I don’t know if you feel the same, but—”

Ellie gasped softly, lips parting and eyes lighting up. “Calvin, I…”

“Shh, just listen,” he said. He silenced her with another kiss, though this one lasted rather longer than intended. Breathing shakily, he finally broke it and continued. “I have to go back to New York soon. I took a three-month leave of absence, but that’s nearly over and if I don’t go back I’ll lose my job. I don’t want to leave you, and I swear we’ll make it work somehow, but for a while it’s going to be tough.” He wasn’t quite brave enough to reveal exactly how deeply he felt for her, or explain why he’d come out here in the first place, but he needed Ellie to know that he was really committed.

“Oh.” Sadness tinged the corners of her coffee-colored eyes, but then she smiled with forced cheer. “Well, I guess we’d better not waste a moment then.” She tugged his face back to level with hers and kissed him again, pausing only to add one thing. “Oh, and of course I feel the same. Why do you think I kept coming back?”

Calvin responded by picking her up and kissing her deeply as he twirled her around in a circle. “That’s wonderful news,” he said warmly. He kissed her again, tasting her warm lips. “Wonderful. Can I take you to dinner to celebrate?” He grinned wildly at her, looking much younger than he had.

“Well,” Ellie said, looking longingly back at the books on the table, “what if you made dinner and we stayed here? We could find out what happened with your great-aunt and Edward.”

“Hmmm.” Calvin pretended to mull it over, but he thought it was actually a great idea. “Well…” he said teasingly, “I suppose we might be able to do that. On one condition?”

“Yes?” Ellie’s eyes lit up as she caught on to his teasing mood.

“We can read the diaries,
if
you sit in my lap and let me steal kisses while we do so.” For good measure, he leaned forward and dropped another tiny kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Ellie giggled. “Oh, I think I could manage that.”

They spent the afternoon choosing upholstery fabric together, and Calvin felt the warm, blissful feeling of complete happiness overtake him. The work crew she’d hired was still moving things around, so they kept things mellow and almost professional in front of them, but he still spent most of the time holding her soft, small hand and stealing a kiss whenever he could.

When the work day was over, together they made a quick but delicious spaghetti dinner and then settled down with the box of diaries. After Ellie reminded him that the sofa and other downstairs chairs were out being reupholstered, they ended up in the guest bedroom, snuggled into Calvin’s bed.

At first, it was hard to focus on the books with Ellie right there next to him in a bed, but Calvin told himself to be patient. There was time to let things develop naturally—and he really did want to find out what had happened with Loretta and Edward. Was he the one who had given his great-aunt her money?

Calvin read page after page out loud, with Ellie’s head pillowed on his shoulder. They relived his great-aunt’s pain as a young woman, when she gave up her virtue as part of a gamble that didn’t pay off. Edward left after the summer, still insistent that his family wouldn’t approve of their relationship
and unwilling to marry Loretta, even though he claimed to love her. The pages that followed were angry and sometimes tear-stained, as young Loretta wrote letter after angry letter that she couldn’t even send.

Then he turned the page and felt a bombshell hit. “I suppose I should have foreseen this,” he read. “We knew the risk we took. But Edward, for this to happen now, and me with no way to write you… I have not had my monthly since before you left, and I can feel a slight swell to my belly now. There is no denying it, and I think I will be delivered of him or her before you ever return. Oh, how could you leave me to this on my own? Thank God, it is only Maude that I have to tell—if Mama and Daddy were still here I do believe they’d kill me.”

“Oh my God,” said Ellie. “She was pregnant.”

Calvin stared at the page for a long, quiet minute. “Not much she could have done about it in those days,” he said. “Not in a small town like this. She couldn’t raise a child alone without becoming a pariah.”

“And no way to tell Edward…” Calvin squeezed Ellie closer and dropped a kiss on her forehead at the pain in her voice. “I wonder what she did,” Ellie continued.

“Well, let’s find out,” Calvin answered, turning the page—but he had a growing suspicion in the back of his head that he didn’t want to put words to yet.

They read on, discovering that Loretta had written to her sister Maude—Calvin’s grandma—in California, where she was living with her husband, John. Whatever the exact communication had been didn’t make it into the diary, but Loretta was first distraught over her sister’s harsh words and then incredibly grateful for her kindness.

Calvin’s eyes flew over the page. “Though I begged her not to, Maude has told John, and perhaps it was for the best because they have come up with a solution. They shall drive up to get me this weekend, and I will come stay with them until the baby is born. Maude has put word out that she is expecting, and when the child is born I shall give it up to her. I wanted to call him Edward, for you, but Maude insists that if she is to raise the child, it shall be called Philip for our father or—” Calvin’s voice broke. “Or Ann, for our dear, departed mother.”

Ellie turned to look at Calvin, who was staring at the page in disbelief. “So your grandmother raised Loretta’s child alongside her own? Was…” She trailed off, clearly not knowing how to continue, and Calvin took a deep, steadying breath.

“My mother’s name was Ann,” he said, hoarse with emotion. “The baby was my mother.”

***

Ellie tentatively reached over and grasped his hand. “Are you okay?” she asked uncertainly. This was all too new for her to be certain where she stood with Calvin, or how to comfort him when he was upset.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks,” he said, squeezing her hand. “Guess it’s just kind of a shock.”

“Do you want to keep reading? We could take a break.”

“Yeah, actually,” Calvin said. “I’d like to hear how it all played out. Would you mind taking over, though? My voice is tired.”

Ellie nodded and took the book from his strong hands. She started where he left off, and enjoyed the safe warm feeling of his body next to hers and the suspense of the pages as she read the slanted cursive handwriting.

At some point, as she relayed the boredom of young Loretta’s days at a house she hadn’t been allowed to leave for fear of a ruined reputation, the pain of Ann’s birth, and then the sad and lonely days of her return to Carterville, Calvin’s head settled on her shoulder and his breathing deepened. She looked over and saw him peacefully sleeping, face relaxed. It was adorable.

She thought about sitting the book down, slipping out of the house, and leaving, but the story was too enticing and she didn’t want to leave Calvin.

Instead, she read on late into the night, discovering how Loretta had at long last seen Edward again the following summer, and told him of their child, and how they had cried together when he told her that it was for the best because he was engaged to a girl his parents approved of. Ellie found tears in her own eyes when she read about the touching scene. She wanted to share this all with Calvin, but he was sound asleep and she couldn’t stand to wake him.

Ellie read and read and read, voraciously turning page after page and immersing herself in the life of a woman she’d never met. She read how Edward had pleaded with Loretta until she’d agreed to take his money and visits whenever he could get away from his new wife. She read how when his parents had died in a train crash, he had given his mistress a piece of his inheritance: their vacation home and the very house that Loretta had then left to Calvin.

She read Loretta’s shaky hand explaining that Maude had allowed only a few visits between her and Ann, and how those visits wouldn’t be happening anymore so they didn’t confuse the little girl. Loretta agreed that it was for the best, but the poor, lonely woman was heartbroken, all alone in her giant house waiting for less and less frequent visits from her married lover. Ellie cried again when she read it.

Finally, she turned a page and a small photograph fell out onto her lap—a wide-eyed baby boy.
Maude has written me that Ann and her husband have been delivered of a healthy baby boy. They’ve called him Calvin, and I think it a fine name. Oh, Edward, if only you were here to see this picture and to admire his fine head of curly hair, just like your own. Even if I have not seen you in more than two years, here is a picture of our very own grandbaby and I know you would cherish him as much as I do. I only wish that I could see him and dote on him as Maude can. Even though I’ve never held him in my hands, I love him so terribly much that it hurts. My Ann has certainly done well by herself.

Without thought, Ellie shook Calvin awake.

“What?” he asked blearily, sitting up and looking around in confusion. “Ellie, have you been crying? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Calvin,” Ellie said, close to tears, “your great-aunt loved you so much.”

Maybe he was still half asleep, because Calvin didn’t grab the diary that she held out to him. Instead, he rolled over and pulled Ellie to him groggily. “Don’t cry about it,” he said sleepily. “I love you so much, too, you know. You’re so sensitive and sweet.”

Ellie held her breath, waiting for him to take back his profession of love
or realize that he was talking without being all the way awake, but instead he just blinked at the light and pulled her even closer. “Calvin…” said Ellie, breathless as he nuzzled at her neck.

“D’you want me to stop? I will if you say so,” he murmured, dropping a line of kisses down the soft skin to her collarbone.

Ellie sighed at the warmth of his caress and tried to think. “No,” she said, “you don’t need to stop just yet.”

Calvin leaned over her
and she gave into what she wanted and kissed him thoroughly. “On second thought,” she added a few moments afterward, “you don’t need to stop until you want to.”

And so he didn’t stop, at least until much later.