She turned to a blank page and rather frantically began an altogether different verse. After a few moments of composition, a sly smile of satisfaction began to curve her lips.
You're going to love this one, Mr. Surrey-Dixon,
she thought proudly.
And it's just exactly how I feel when you're gone!
I cling to a slender, shining thread,
Suspended from God, or so someone said.
I swing across starry heavens,
Past chanting galaxies, howling comets.
Embraced, then let go, on the one side of the universe,
Clutched at by icy fingers on the other;
Back and forth, back and forth,
Laughing and screaming,
Burning and freezing,
Soaring, soaring,
Falling, falling.
I cling to a slender, shining thread,
Suspended from God, or so someone said.
Los Angeles International Airport can be a busy place on a weeknight. But Jon Surrey-Dixon's arrival at 5:00 on a Friday evening couldn't have been more ill-timed. Elisabeth had left her Pasadena office at 3:30, wildly cutting in and out of traffic, and finally arriving at the airport more than an hour later. By the time she found a parking place, it was 4:58. And by the time she found the right gate, it was 5:10. Her heart was pounding, her face was sweaty, and she longed to stop and brush her hair.
She glanced at the arrivals screen.
Naturally his flight is on time. Flights are only late when I'm early.
Jon was wandering around, looking lost and forlorn, when she caught sight of him. His face lit up with an expression of relief. “There you are!” He dropped his carry-on bags and took her in his arms. “I'm so glad to see youâyou look beautiful!”
Relaxed in his embrace, Betty stared at him in wonder, at his red hair and clear blue eyes. He was really here! All her fears vanished at the sight of his smile. Of course he loved her. How could she have doubted it for a minute?
“Are you tired?” she asked as they headed for the car, her arm through his.
“No, not too bad, actually. I slept almost all the way back. I was awfully tired when I boarded. The group hadn't slept for three nights, riding trains and buses out of the provinces. I sure missed you, Betty.” His voice was soft.
“I missed you tooâI kept wishing you'd call or something.”
“Call?” He threw his head back and laughed. “I'm afraid there aren't many call boxes in the jungle, Betty. Believe me, if I could have called, I would have.” He paused and looked at her thoughtfully. “I did bring you a present, though.”
“What?” She stopped expectantly and held out her hand.
“No, no. Not now. I'll give it to you later.”
“Why not now?”
“Because it's special, that's why.”
“Okay, okay.” Her eyes narrowed. “What is it?”
“Betty . . . no!”
She shrugged and laughed. “Well it never hurts to try. Are you here to stay âtil the wedding?”
“I'm here for the duration,” he said, “unless, of course, somebody makes me an offer I can't refuse . . .”
Betty frowned at him as fiercely as possible. “That would have to be a pretty good offer!” She had arranged for him to stay in a condominium adjoining hersâa neighbor was out of town. They drove there directly.
Placing his luggage in the neighbor's condo, they sat down together in Betty's living room. Jon's arm was around Betty's shoulders, and her head rested quietly against his chest. There was a moment of silence.
“Where's my present?” she finally said, suddenly caught up in her curiosity.
“Did I say something about a present?”
“Don't toy with me, Jon!”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. “I know we decided not to do this, Betty . . .”
“Not to do what?” She opened the box and caught her breath. A spectacular diamond blinked back at her. “Jon!”
Betty was speechless. They had, indeed, decided to forego an engagement ring in lieu of an extended honeymoon. “Does this mean no honeymoon?” She looked at him suspiciously only for a moment, unable to keep her eyes off the diamond for more than a few seconds at a time.
“No, it means we're doing bothâan engagement ring and a honeymoon. I couldn't help it, Betty. Try it on. See if it needs sizing.”
Betty removed the birthstone ring from her left hand and ever-so-carefully slipped the diamond in its place. It was perfect.
Why would he do this with only a week to go until we're married?
she thought.
“Now maybe the other men in your life will leave you alone while I'm out of town.”
“What? What other men?” Betty said as she pulled her eyes from the ring to look at Jon in disbelief.
He studied her closely. “A woman like you is bound to attract attention now and then, Betty. Don't pretend you don't.”
She was stunned.
Surely he doesn't have his own insecurities and fears! Surely not!
“I've never noticed. I never pay any attention to anyone else, and I don't think they pay attention to me, either.”
He watched her face closely. It couldn't have worn a more innocent expression. Jon shook his head and chuckled. “Well, good. Besides, it will make your wedding band look a lot more impressive. Nowâare you ready to go eat? I'm starting to feel hungry. How about you?”
They talked almost ceaselessly throughout the evening. When Jon left her for a moment to call his answering service, Betty contemplated her left hand during his time away from the table.
It's almost blinding . . .
She marveled at the beauty of the blazing solitaire gem, thinking back on Jon's words. For all the world, it sounded as if he'd seriously worried about her being involved with someone else during his absences.
It had been a while since her day-trip to Laguna and the old Victoria Beach tower. Her anxieties had ebbed and flowed continuously since that day until Jon's arrival tonight. Each had been clearly relieved at the sight of the other. Each had evidently struggled with doubt and mistrust. Each needed the other more than either dared admitâeven to themselves.
The following Monday, Betty began a leave of absence from Outreach Unlimited Ministries where she'd been working as a writer for more than a year and a half. Once Jon arrived, she knew she would be preoccupied with him and with her wedding plans.
And so she wasâthe two of them drove off every day to take in some part of Southern California that Jon had never seen. His New Zealand upbringing had kept him far away from the Golden State until recent years, when he had visited on assignments for various national and international magazines. Now he and Betty went to the San Diego Zoo. To Palm Springs. To Magic Mountain. To the Queen Mary and the Spruce Goose and Catalina Island.
When they weren't making small talk about the various points of interest they were visiting, their conversations probed each other's mind and heart intensely. Something intuitively inspired them to find out all they could as quickly as possible. They were curiously driven to delve deeper and deeper, even though a lifetime of dialogue awaited them.
A week and a day before the wedding, Jon seemed distracted when he arrived at Betty's door for morning coffee. “I had a call from
Newsweek
on my answering service. They want me to do a quick job for them next week.”
“Around here?” Betty asked naively.
Jon raised his eyebrows and chuckled. “Hardly. Have you ever heard of a lovely little town called Beirut?”
“What!” Betty's eyes widened. “Beirut? Isn't that where Westerners always wind up as hostages? Jon, what did you tell them? You did say no, didn't you?”
“Betty, you have no idea how much money they offered me. It's twice the normal daily rate for a job like this. And it's perfectly safeâthey're giving us a Druze escort. They are militiamen from one the most powerful factions in Lebanon,” he added knowledgeably.
Tears began to fill her eyes. Next week was supposed to be the most wonderful week in their lives! “You're going?” she barely whispered.
“If I go, I'll leave Sunday night and be back Thursday night.”
“What do you mean âif'? You've already made up your mind. I can tell Jon. What if something goes wrongâthe wedding is Saturday!”
“They know all about that at
Newsweek,
and they said they'd get me back here no matter what. I know these guys. I've worked for them before. It's an important account Betty, and listen . . . ,” he took her in his arms, seeing her begin to cry in earnest. “Shhh. Listen, now, Betty. It's only four days, Sweetheart. What's four days when we have the rest of our lives to be together?”
Wedding preparations are more work than fun,
Betty scowled as she hung up the phone.
We should have eloped!
If it hadn't been for her beautiful pale blue silk dress and the lingering vision of a romantic ceremony, she might have suggested just that to Jon. Her interest in last-minute details had lagged dramatically after his unexpected call to go to Beirut. She had wanted to enjoy his company during this time, not waste it on endless minutiae.
There were flowers to be confirmed. Caterers to be instruct-ed. Guests to be directed. Travel plans to be double-checked for people like Harold Fuller, who was flying in from Oregon for the big occasion.
“It's about time you married a real man,” Betty's father had rumbled, once he learned that Jon was macho enough to survive in the Southeast Asian jungle for a week. “I just hope he doesn't leave you one of these days for some cute little China doll.”
“Daddy . . .” Betty started to defend Jon's fidelity, then shrugged in resignation. “It'll be good to see you.”
In spite of her initial horror over Jon's impending journey, all her negative thoughts about his decision were overshadowed by floods of tenderness for him. He seemed to be responding to her the same way. They found themselves not saying a word, holding each other more closely.
His proximity to her apartment made it possible for them to spend every waking moment together. As Saturday passed from afternoon into evening, it became more and more difficult to imagine saying good night. After dinner, they lightheartedly discussed their future together. They had decided, after returning from their honeymoon, to live in Betty's condo while they looked for a larger home. Arm in arm they walked around, trying to figure out where to fit in Jon's possessions, how many items to place in storage, and what they'd need to buy.
“New towels,” Jon said emphatically. “Believe me. You haven't seen my apartment in New York, Betty, and it's just as well. My towels, sheets, and half my furniture are going directly into the trash. Most of my gear isn't even worth washing, much less moving.”
“Good. When we get back from England, we'll go shopping. We should have enough to buy a few towels, considering the small fortune you're making on this job of yours.”
Jon looked at her sadly. He brushed his hand across her hair and kissed her forehead. “I wish I'd said no, Betty. I really do. The closer I get to leaving, the more I wish I'd said no.”
“Is it too late to cancel?” she asked, barely allowing herself to hope.
“It's far too late. I'm leaving tomorrow, remember?”
To Betty's surprise, tears appeared in his eyes. She hadn't understood just how sorry he was to go. “Well, like you said, it's only for four days, Jon.”
“I hope so . . .”
“What?” Betty stiffened. “What do you mean âI hope so'? You have to come back by Saturday, Jon! You're getting married! You aren't afraid, are you?”
“To tell you the truth, I've got a sort of unsettled feeling about leaving. Maybe it's because every time I leave you I find myself worrying, thinking you'll change your mind or some such thing. I guess I shouldn't be so anxious, considering the fact that the wedding's a week from tonight.”
“I have never so much as thought of leaving you, Jon. I've never even looked at another man. I really haven't.”
They were in Betty's bedroom, trying to sort out which chest of drawers would stay and which would go. Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, Jon whispered softly, “Betty, please. I want to make love to you before I leave.”
From the beginning, Jon and Betty had been affectionate with each other. But for spiritual reasons of their own, they had opted to play out their courtship by the book. To keep the rules. To wait for the ring. But this unanticipated moment transcended all such determination. It caught them both off guard.
Jon enfolded her with his arms, powerfully and with great yearning. Betty looked into his eyes and brushed his face softly with her fingers.
The hours that followed were theirs alone. They slept and woke and slept again, blanketed in tenderness. No one knewâno one would ever know about this one last night together. It would remain their precious secret forever.
Sunday morning they bypassed church and went out to breakfast. A new serenity shrouded the day with warmth, and an incomparable sense of belonging. However, as the hours passed, Jon's departure grew closer. Around 2:30 Betty sadly watched as he packed his camera gear, hung his clothes in his flight bag, and zipped his carry-on shut.
“Are you sure you can't call somebody and say you're desperately ill?”
“I am feeling a little sick, to tell you the truth. It makes me sick to leave you, Sweetheart. I was a fool to take this assignment. Greedy and foolish.”
“Well, you had to pay for my diamond, remember?”
“Maybe I'll bring you another oneâfor the other hand.” He kissed her right hand wistfully and then checked his watch. “I guess we'd better head out for the airport.”
The lengthy ride to the airport was filled with nervous conversation, both Betty and Jon trying to be relaxed and casual for the other's benefit. When they came to the terminal, they found that the British Airways flight to London was on time. Jon checked his bags, watched while the airline representative examined his passport, and started for the gate.