Ink and Ashes (32 page)

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I will find a way to make this right. What I did was stupid, but I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” The misery on his face seemed genuine.

I glanced up and saw Forrest in the doorway. “Mumps,” I said. “I think you need to leave.”

“I think what she means,” Dad said, his posture straight and his arms folded, “is she will take your apology under consideration, but I would strongly advise that you give her some space when she gets back to school.”

Mumps nodded and stood up. He turned slowly and started to leave. Forrest walked right up to him and, with his good arm, punched Mumps in the jaw.

Mumps dropped to the floor, grabbing his face. He wobbled as he tried to get back on his feet and looked at my dad. Dad shrugged. Mumps scrambled out of the room.

Dad leaned over and whispered, “I think I like Forrest a little more now.”

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Forrest said. He shook his hand and winced. “But ow! That really hurts.”

Dad patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll give you guys some privacy,” he said, then pointed at Forrest with a squint. “But no funny business.” He left.

FORREST PUSHED DOWN
the rail of the bed.

I scooted over. “Sit next to me.”

He struggled with his one good arm to crawl into the bed. “I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket and producing my grandmother’s necklace. He held the familiar silver chain, but along with the bead it had a new pendant attached: a cloisonné panda.

I patted my chest, and realized it had been taken off me. “My dad has gotten me jewelry like this on his business trips to Japan,” I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized his business trips were something different than I had previously imagined them to be. “I didn’t realize you even knew what cloissonné is.”

He turned the panda in his hands. “See how the fine metal wire details the intricate features of the animal and encases the brilliant colors of the enamel?” He laughed. “Okay, I didn’t. Your mom helped me.”

“It’s beautiful. I love it,” I said. “Can you hang on to it for me until I get home?”

“Of course. And one more thing.” He reached into his pocket again. “Your ring.” He slid the plastic ring on my finger and leaned in closer. His mouth skimmed my ear. “You smell amazing,” he said.

He stroked my hair and trailed his hand along my cheek as if he couldn’t resist. “It’s nice to see you awake.” He spoke with a soft voice. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and I couldn’t believe how happy I was we were both there, together and alive. I stared deep into his eyes. They reminded me of the color of the ocean, with thin whitecaps stretching over waves of deep blues and greens.

“I would only see you too,” I said.

Forrest raised an eyebrow, puzzled.

“When I was hallucinating at the warehouse, I saw you, and you said you would only see me.” I took his hand in mine. “I would see only you too. If you were one of the trillions of stars, I would only see you.”

He leaned in and his lips brushed mine.

He pulled back. “I’d like to do a lot more right now, but this cast is getting in the way, and I don’t want to do anything that would delay getting you home.”

“I’m fine,” I said through the pain. “Get back here.” I grabbed the front of this shirt and pulled him closer.

He kissed me again, then pulled away. “Trust me. I plan to ravage you later.” He laughed. “I’m kidding. You know I’m kidding, right? What does ‘ravage’ even mean?”

“You’d better not be,” I said and tugged on his shirt again.

“Shhh,” he said. “Your dad’s probably standing right outside the door.”

“Just one more then,” I said.

He kissed me longer this time.

“Nicholas is up!” Fed shouted.

Forrest shot up straight. “Euh. For a second, I thought it was your dad.”

“You’re adorable,” I said. “Let’s go see Nicholas.” I squeezed Forrest’s hand.

Forrest jumped off the bed and then helped me get down. Fed navigated the wheelchair over to the bed. “How fast does this thing go?” He inspected the wheels.

In Nicholas’s room, Fed gathered with Parker and Avery in front of the TV to watch the University of Utah football game. Nicholas’s bed was fully elevated. He shouted at the referees as if he were completely healthy.

His attention shifted when I wheeled in. “How embarrassing! We wore the same outfit today,” he said.

My face lit up when I saw him. I threw myself at him like a wild animal, attempting to balance hugging him with all my might and respecting his fragile state, not to mention my IVs. He tried to hide the fact that he was wincing in pain. I must have erred on the hugging-him-with-all-my-might side.

He cringed back from me a little. “Ease up a little, Kiki.”

I loosened my grip, but I couldn’t bear to let go.

He pointed his chin in the air. “Not many guys can say truthfully they’d be willing to take a bullet for you.” The corners of his mouth reached into a wide grin.

“I’m hoping no one ever has to say that again.” I fixed myself next to him. “I didn’t even know what to do when I thought—”

“I know,” he said in almost a whisper. “I can’t tell you how helpless I felt when I saw you tied to the chair, and I didn’t know what he was going to do to you.” He grabbed my hand and clutched it tight against the bed. “Kiki,” he choked. “I owe my life to you.”

I stared at him as if he had gone completely mad.

The seriousness in his expression didn’t waver. “I lost a lot of blood. They say I would have bled to death if you hadn’t been there. And if I didn’t bleed to death, the cold would have gotten me, but having your body next to mine helped. He was going to leave us to die, Kiki, or maybe something worse, and you saved us.”

“You wouldn’t have even been there if it weren’t for me.”

He wiped a stray tear off my cheek. “True, but then I wouldn’t have this scar to impress the ladies.” He grinned as he yanked down the shoulder of his hospital gown and revealed the bandages covering his wound. He patted the back of my head.

He tilted his head to the side. “We make an unbeatable team, our three families, don’t we?”

“A powerful triumvirate.”

Nicholas raised a brow. “A what?” He nodded, but his eyes wandered, trying to figure out where he had heard it before.

“The first triumvirate was during the Roman Empire, a regime dominated by three powerful individuals, or in our case, three families. I’ve been thinking the Axis Powers is due for a name change.”

“A powerful triumvirate.” He gave a nod in agreement. “Axis Powers unite!”

We shared silence for a moment. I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“You too.” He clasped my hand again. He sneaked a look at the rest of the guys. “I’m glad you gave Forrest a chance,” he whispered. “Life’s too short.”

“It is,” I said.

He sighed. “And man, you’ve made my life easier.”

I shot him a questioning look.

He gave a sly smile. “Haven’t you wondered why we always set you up with total losers? It takes a lot of work.”

“I knew it.” I drew my hand back to whack him, but saw the bandages and thought I should probably give him a break. I let go of Nicholas, and Forrest wheeled me back to my room with his one good arm.

“I’m hoping I only have to endure one more night of hospital food,” I said.

“It’ll be nice to get you home,” he said. “I’m sick of sleeping on the waiting room floor.” Forrest helped me climb back into bed and pressed the nurse call button to let her know we had returned. She came within minutes to inject some more sedative into my IV so I could rest.

I made myself comfortable on the pillow. Forrest draped a blanket over me.

“Do you think things will ever really get back to normal?” I asked.

“I think it will take some time, but I think we’ll be all right.”

“You’re still my best friend,” I said.

“And you’re mine.” He kissed my forehead. “I hope that never changes.” He relocated to the guest couch.

“Best friends forever?” I asked.

“And beyond.” He propped pillows at the end and covered himself with a blanket.

I fought to keep my eyelids open long enough to agree with him. But I knew my life would never be ordinary again.

anime
(ah-nee-meh): Japanese animated production

Arakaki-san
(Ah-rah-kah-kee sahn): Refers to Jiro Arakaki. The addition of -san to the end of a surname is a Japanese honorific, or title of respect, similar to Mr. or Mrs.

butsudan
(boo-tsoo-dahn): a Buddhist altar or shrine, which can be found in temples or homes

Dobash
(
doh
-bash)
cake
: a cake made of alternating layers of cake and pudding

gaman
(gah-mahn): enduring what seems unbearable with dignity and grace

gomen nasai
(goh-men nah-sahy): Japanese phrase meaning “I’m sorry”

irezumi
(ee-reh-zoo-mee): traditional Japanese method of tattooing by hand

itadakimasu
(ee-tah-dah-kee-mahs): Japanese saying to express gratitude for the food about to be eaten

juzo
(joo-zoh): prayer beads

kanzashi
(kahn-zah-shee): Japanese hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles

katana
(kah-tah-nah): a type of Japanese sword

kimono
(kee-moh-noh): a traditional Japanese garment that is a T-shaped, straight-lined robe

koa
(
koh
-ah)
wood
: comes from a flowering tree, Acacia koa, which is endemic to the Hawaiian islands.

kolohe
(koh-
loh
-hay): Hawaiian word meaning “rascal” or “naughty”

manga
(mahng-gah): Japanese comics

Maori
(
mah
-aw-ree): a member of the native Polynesian population of New Zealand

moshi-moshi
(moh-shee moh-shee): in Japanese, means “hello” when answering the telephone

netsuku
(neh-tsoo-koo): to go to bed, or being in bed for a long time

obi
(oh-bee): Japanese sash used as a belt

Obon
(Oh-bohn)
Festival
: A Japanese Buddhist celebration to honor the spirits of one’s ancestors

oma
(oh-mah): German for grandma

otochan
(oh-toh-chahn): Japanese for father

oyabun
(oh-yah-boon): the leader or godfather of a yakuza clan

shi
(shee): Japanese for the number four

shikata ga nai
(shee-kah-tah gah nahy): Japanese phrase meaning “it cannot be helped” or “nothing can be done about it.”

Spritzkuchen
(
shprits
-koo-ken): German fried pastry similar to a donut

tsuchigumo
(tsoo-chee-goo-moh): a spiderlike mythical Japanese creature

“Ue O Muite Arukou”
(oo-ay oh moo-ee-teh ah-roo-koh): A Japanese song released in 1961, and to date, one of the only Japanese-language songs to hit the Billboard Hot 100 charts in the United States.

unmei
(oon-meh-ee): fate or destiny

yakuza
(yah-koo-zah): Japanese organized crime syndicates

yubitsume
(yoo-bee-tsoo-meh): a ritual to atone for offenses by means of amputating one’s own finger

*Americans have incorporated some of these words into the English language, but they pronounce them differently. While there can be slight variances in pitch or intonation, the Japanese language does not put stress or emphasis on individual syllables in a word. The pronunciations in this glossary reflect the Japanese pronunciation.

** The sound for ‘R’ in the Japanese language is similar to the sound of a Spanish R, between an R and L sound.

I am a fourth-generation Japanese American, yonsei. Because my family immigrated to the United States just after the turn of the century, in the early 1900s, the Japanese practices I grew up with might differ from those practiced in Japan. After so many years, I’m sure certain aspects and understandings of traditions were lost or convoluted. Although my family isn’t Buddhist, we participated in Buddhist rituals because of my extended family, and some traditions became more cultural rather than religious.

In addition, many Japanese Americans, whose families immigrated over a hundred years ago like mine, were affected deeply by World War II. Some were placed in internment camps where they were not allowed to speak Japanese. There were also Japanese people who were not interned, who chose voluntarily not to speak Japanese to their families and/or participate in rituals in order to avoid persecution or prove they were loyal Americans. As a result, there are traditions that have not been preserved in the way they might have been under different circumstances.

Before writing this book, I’d asked my mom why we weren’t supposed to pass food with our chopsticks to someone else’s chopsticks. She said all she knew was that it was bad manners. This story allowed me to learn more about my heritage and the meaning and purpose behind some of the things we did. However, I chose to depict the Takata family with the same partial understanding I grew up with because I’m sure there are children out there like me. This experience has given me a deeper appreciation for my ancestry and culture as well as a desire to learn more. I hope there are readers who feel the same yearning to learn about and embrace not just the Japanese culture, but all kinds of diversity.