Indulgence (Taking Chances #1) (4 page)

“There’s no easy way for me to say this, so I’m just going to say it.”

“Very good, Courtney.  Nice form,” came Brix’s voice from close by.  He had a tendency to walk around the room as we moved into poses to make sure we wouldn’t hurt ourselves.  I was too engrossed on what Jacoby was about to say to pay attention to Brix’s exact location, but his voice always made my stomach flutter with butterflies.

“You know Eddie and I have been seeing each other for some time,” Jacoby hesitated.

“Yeah,” I droned.  Jacoby took a deep breath and pushed it out, making him have to readjust his balance.  “Are you okay?  Did something happen with you and Eddie?” I asked, my heart fluttering.  

I heard him swallow hard.  He turned his face, shielding his eyes from me.  “Yes.”

My heart sank even lower in my chest.  Sure, I wanted a chance to reignite that lost flame, but something was bothering Jacoby.  He was antsy, just like he was the day he informed me he was gay.

“Wanna talk ab…”

I was interrupted by the words I never expected to hear.  “Eddie and I are engaged.”

Those five little words felt like cold water being poured over me while taking a hot shower.  In a matter of five words, my whole world turned upside down once again.  I felt as if I would be sick.  I knew he didn’t want me back.  That I could handle.  I’d come to terms with the fact that we were only meant to be friends, even if my heart wanted to think otherwise, but for him to marry Eddie, I couldn’t bear the thought.  It ripped me to the very core.  Tears burned my eyes, but I fought them as hard as I could.  I wouldn’t allow him to see me break.  Not this time.

“Three-legged dog, left,” Brix instructed.

I lifted my left leg in the air, balancing myself on my right foot and hands, not really paying attention to my movements.  I felt frozen in time.  This couldn’t be happening.  Not only had Jacoby left me for a man, but now he was marrying said man.  Talk about a major blow to a girl’s ego.  On top of that, I was alone.  Sure, I could get a date—that was easy—but I wanted what Jacoby and I once had.  I wanted what Jacoby now had with Eddie.  I wanted love.  Devotion.  Admiration.  A companion.  

How could everything be so off?  My chest felt like an elephant had sat on it.  I closed my eyes, forcing myself to stay calm and to breathe.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I’m fine,” I stuttered, trying to process everything.

“You don’t seem fine,” he pressed.  “Your face is turning redder than your hair.”

I ignored his concern and forced out, “Congratulations.  I know you and Eddie will be happy together.”

“You mean that?”

“Three-legged dog, right,” Brix announced.  His voice sounded closer, but all of the blood had rushed to my head, so my ears could’ve been playing tricks on me.

“I do,” I muttered, finding the irony in those little words.  I moved into position, thankful that the new pose kind of hid my face from Jacoby.  I didn’t want him to see the disappointment in my eyes.

“I’m so happy to hear you say that.  You have no idea how much I fretted over telling you,” he blathered.  “And Eddie said I was mad for even considering asking you to be…”  Each word that came out of his mouth sounded like a sound bit that had been slowed down to the point that it was almost unrecognizable.

All of the sudden, I felt dizzy.  The room seemed to be collapsing in on me.  I’d never been the type of person to panic, but if I had to label this feeling, I’d call it that.  PANIC!  My leg wobbled beneath me and I corrected my position.  “Addison, did you hear me?  I want you to be my maid of honor.”

Just as those words escaped his lips for a second time, two large hands wrapped around my hips.  “Addison, you need to…”

I screamed and jumped, startled by Brix’s unannounced touch.  But instead of jumping straight up, as a normal person would, I fell forward, bringing Brix down with me.  He fell into the woman in front of me, who toppled into the lady in front of her, causing a domino effect that could only be described as the funniest scene in a movie.  Yet it wasn’t funny, because it was happening to me.  

I stood up.  The blood rushed to my face.  People struggled to get up from their fall, all staring at me as if I’d grown a third head.  My eyes met Brix’s and I could feel the tears brimming.   “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry,” I repeated over and over.

“Addy,” Jacoby stood up, moving toward me.  I stepped back, stumbling over my shoes.

“I have to go,” I rasped, unable to breathe.

Brix was helping a woman from the floor, but reached for my hand.  I pulled away before he could touch me.  “Addison, this type of thing happens.  Please stay,” his comforting cadence implored.

But the damage was done.  My world had gone completely off kilter.  How could he even ask me to be his maid of honor?  How could he be getting married?  This couldn’t be happening.  It was okay for him to date Eddie, but this was a commitment I wasn’t ready for.

I raised my hands in the air, not giving anyone a chance to say anything else.  I picked up my sneakers and mat and ran out of the room.  The mat flew wildly behind me, like a cape, as I reached the door.

“Addison!” Jacoby yelled.  “Put on your shoes.  It’s freezing out there.”

I didn’t, though.  I rushed out of the building wearing nothing but socks on my feet, which soaked up the freezing cold rain the instant they touched the ground.  Thankful for automatic locks, I pulled the door handle on my car and jumped inside.  Throwing my yoga mat in the passenger seat with my tennis shoes, I pressed the brake pedal and pushed the start button.  The car’s engine rumbled to life.  I backed out of my spot, refusing to look at the building.  It wasn’t until I was pulling out of the drive that I dared to look at my rearview mirror.  Brix and Jacoby stood just outside the door, shivering.  Jacoby rubbed his hands up and down his lanky arms, looking as distressed at I felt.  Brix stood tall and still like a statute, his expression uncertain and confused.  Of course he didn’t understand the true reason for my abrupt departure.  He probably thought I was humiliated by my act of clumsiness, which I was, but it was far more than that.

Maid of Honor! Was he fucking crazy?  What was he thinking?

Tears burned my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t blink them away.  The Bluetooth in my car started to ring.  A robotic voice announced, “Incoming call.  Jacoby Cross.”

I hit the button on my steering wheel, ignoring the call.  I couldn’t talk to him.  Not at the moment.  I needed to get myself together before we had this discussion.

My head swam as I drove.  I blinked hard, fighting the tears.  The roads really weren’t as bad as everyone had been making them out to be.  The rain wasn’t sticking to the ground, but still, I needed to keep my focus and get home.  After I got there, I could fall apart in a tub of rocky road ice cream and feed my bruised ego with Celine Dion on repeat.

Once again the robotic voice came over the speakers. “Incoming call.  Amber Sachs.”

Ugh!  Jacoby called her.  It was no use ignoring her.  Amber was a spitfire and wouldn’t give up until I answered.  

I pressed the talk button on my steering wheel and answered, “Hello.”

“Are you okay?” came Amber’s exasperated greeting.

“I’m fine.”

“Jacoby called me.  I know you’re not fine.  Fuck!  What was he thinking?”

“He wasn’t.”

“Men are idiots.”

“Tell me about it,” I mumbled.

“Where are you?”

“On my way home.  I just want to be alone.”

“Nonsense.  Come over here.  This isn’t the time for you to be alone.”

I sighed, “It’s no big deal.  I’m just going to go home.”

“Get your ass over here or I’m coming to look for you.”

Amber wasn’t joking.  I knew she’d get in her car and track my ass down.  It was better to just suck it up and go over there.  “Fine,” I groused.  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“See you then.”

We disconnected the call and I merged on to the freeway, making my bumper-to-bumper trek to Amber’s place.

I parked my car in Amber’s driveway and sat there staring at the house.  It was New Year’s Eve, yet it looked as if Christmas was still in town.  Many of her neighbors had already begun the tedious task of pulling down the decorations, but not Amber.  She’d leave them up all year around if she could.

A small smile tickled my lips as I took in the winter wonderland that was my dear friend’s home.  As a cake decorator, she had an eye for beauty and art.  I envied her in that factor.  White lights outlined the rooftop with perfect precision.  A large Christmas tree, decorated in traditional colors, blinked merrily in the picture window of her front room.  Bright red poinsettias housed in gold flowerpots, lined the sidewalk all the way to the front door.

Now, while that all sounds normal and even romantic, if anyone were to pay close attention to the lights or the way the garland wrapped around the tree, they’d quickly discover a pattern.  Every light bulb rested in a certain direction.  The garland was spaced so many inches apart.  The poinsettias were all the same height, shape, and size; and in the same type of flowerpots.  Amber was a control freak in the truest sense of the phrase.  But it was for that reason she was good at her job.  She had a keen eye and a clever palate.

Cutting the engine, I reached for my cell phone, not caring to look at the number of missed calls I had from Jacoby.  There were quite a few.  After I tossed my wet socks and slipped on my shoes, I got out of the car and ran to the front door.  The wind had died down, but the temperature continued to drop.  A large, green wreath, matching the poinsettias on the walk, welcomed visitors with Christmas cheer.

I lifted my hand about to knock, but before I could, the door flew open.  Pure warmth and the scent of peppermint poured from the house and engulfed me.  I may have even sighed in relief, but it was hard to tell due to Amber shouting from behind the door, “Whatcha standing out here freezing your ass off for?  Get in here!”

No one had to tell me to get out of the cold more than once.

The moment I stepped inside, the door swung closed behind me.

“Took you long enough.”  

I whipped around to find Amber standing where the door had been.  Her long, blonde hair hung over her shoulders in perfect waves.  Big, hazel green eyes stared back at me.  Amber’s plump pout was painted to match her silk red dress.  How blondes could pull the bright red lipstick look off always amazed me.  If I attempted to wear red lipstick it would clash with my hair, making me look like a giant lobster instead of a sexy minx.  

“Traffic’s a bitch out there,” I complained.

“Ugh,” Amber groaned.  “I was afraid of that.  Oh, well.  I guess that means we’ll have to leave earlier than expected to get there on time.”  She gave me a wink and started down the hall.

“I beg your pardon?  Get where on time?” I asked.  She was directing me back to her bedroom, which confused me.

“Indulgence, of course,” she replied, as if my question was absurd.

I stopped dead in my tracks.  “Indulgence?” The word fell from my tongue in one long syllable.

Of course.  That explained the dress, but then that meant…

I shook my head.  This wasn’t possible.  I’d already jumped to enough conclusions today and I wasn’t about to jump to another one.  I must have misunderstood her.

Amber turned around and smiled that perfect grin of hers, which always seemed to capture the attention of any man she wanted.  “Yes, Indulgence.  You’ve had a crappy—no, scratch that—shitty day, and this is the perfect remedy.”

“Is that so?” I admonished.

“Yes, it is.  After Jacoby pulled his stupid little stunt tonight, I figured this would be a quick fix.”

“An erotic masquerade is your suggestion to fix my problems?”

“No,” her voice rose.  “Kicking Jacoby in the nards would fix your problem.  This is just a Band-Aid to help you remember you’re a successful, sexy, thirty-year-old woman with needs that must be met.”

A loud burst of laughter exploded from my chest.  I knew she had to be joking, but the idea of me jamming my knee into Jacoby’s nuts was better than visions of sugarplums in my head.

Amber continued down the hall to her bedroom.  My feet, moving of their own accord, followed her into her personal sanctuary.

The room was bright and open, meeting Amber’s demands for order.  Everything was in its proper place, and not even the slightest speck of dust was visible.   The only thing out of order was a slinky, black lace dress, which was laid out on the bed.  Beside the evening wear rested two masquerade masks.  One was silver with red feathers strategically placed at the corner of the eyes, and the other was a subdued black mask.  There were no sequins or frills.  It was elegant, lined with lace matching that of dress resting beside it.

“Oh my god!  You’re serious!” I exclaimed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  Amber gave me a nonchalant shrug.

I walked over to the bed and brushed my fingers along the ridge of the mask.  “Amber, we both know that I really can’t go to this thing.  For one, I wouldn’t know what to do there.”

“That’s a no brainer, my dear.  You get fucked.  Hard, fast, and thoroughly until you can’t walk or see straight.”

I rolled my eyes and groaned.  The thought had merit.  One night.  No strings attached.  “Fine.  What about the fact that I don’t have an invitation?  I never sent in my paperwork.”

Amber turned around and opened the top drawer of her dresser.  She extracted a white envelope and tossed it on top of the dress.  Much to my surprise, the package was addressed to me.  I dropped my cell phone and keys on the bed and picked it up, shocked to find it was sealed.  Amber pursed her lips and motioned for me to look inside.  I ripped open the envelope and pulled out a sheet of heavy parchment.  At the top was the
Indulgence
insignia, which was followed by some of the most beautiful calligraphy I could’ve imagined.

Dear Ms. George,

It is my sincere honor to notify you that you’ve been selected to participate in this year’s Indulgence celebration.  There are a few things you should understand in accepting this invitation.

Blah, blah, blah. The letter continued until I reached the bottom to find Sebastian Hawk’s signature in closing.  

I looked up at Amber with my mouth gaped open.  “Is this for real?”

“Yep.” She beamed.

“How?”  My eyes darted back and forth between my friend and the letter in my hand.  Sebastian Hawk had actually signed this letter.  He held this paper in his hand.  The schoolgirl inside me giggled with glee.

“You did all the leg work.  I just sent it in,” Amber confirmed.

That little sneak.  She must’ve taken my completed paperwork from my house.  God, I loved this woman.

“And why are you just now showing it to me?”

Amber linked her fingers in front of her, hunching her shoulders forward, swaying like a little girl in trouble.  She lifted her eyes to meet mine and grinned.  Her expression screamed mischievousness.  “I never had any reason to tell you.  You made it clear that you had no intention in attending, but going through all the work and not following through with the completion about drove me crazy.”

“You have some serious control issues,” I chuckled, dropping my gaze back to the paper in my hand.  My thumbs traced Sebastian’s elegant signature.  It was as pretty as he was.

“That might be true, but at least I know how to live a little.  Which is exactly what you need to do tonight.  Forget about Jacoby.  Forget about finding Mr. Right, and just enjoy Mr. Right Now.  Or hell, how about trying on Ms. Right Now, too.  Maybe have them both at the same time.  The sky’s the limit,” she suggested with a wiggle of her sculpted eyebrows.  

“You realize I’m not a lesbian, yes?”

“Neither am I, but I can tell you that a woman can eat pussy better than many men can.  Men are only good for their dicks and rock hard bodies.”

My mouth dropped.  I knew Amber was promiscuous and that she’d been to other events such as
Indulgence
, but it never dawned on me that she might partake in something beyond heterosexual sex.  Not that I’m naive, but she’d only ever dated men.  Who knew?

Amber laughed at my current fish impression.  With the tips of her fingers, she clamped my mouth shut.  “All I’m saying is don’t knock it until you try it.”

I shook my head, unsure what to think.  “I don’t know.”

“What’s to know?  Let loose, live a lit…”

The vibration of my phone rumbled against the lace on the bed, interrupting her dialectic.  I groaned, expecting to see Jacoby’s name appear, but instead it flashed
Ralph Eddington
.

The poor guy; I’d go by Eddie too if my parents had named me Ralph.  Every Ralph in the history of television was a bumbling idiot, which Eddie wasn’t in the least likely bit.  His only real flaw seemed to be that he had seen one too many John Hughes films in his life.  I swear that man had a John Hughes quote for every occasion.  On top of that, he drove a candy apple red 1983 Porsche 944.  No wonder he fell for Jacoby.  He fit right in with Eddie’s Jake Ryan fantasy.  

“That man has some cojones calling you,” Amber growled.  Before I could grab my phone, she had it in her hand.  “Let me handle this.”  She swiped the screen and engaged the speakerphone.  “Addison George’s phone.  Speak, Asshole.”

“Oh, thank God, she’s there,” Eddie said, sounding relieved.

“Of course she’s here.  After what your
fiancé́
did to her, where else would she go?” she spat.

“Amber, I understand you’re pissed and you have every right to be.  You’re only protecting her, but please know I had no hand in this.  I told Jacoby that this was a terrible idea.”

“Oh and that makes things all better?” she snarled.

“Amber,” I warned.

“Addison, is that you?  Jacoby is worried sick over here.  He feels like a complete ass for everything that happened today.”

“He
is
an ass!” Amber exclaimed.  “Not only did he break her heart a year ago, but he took advantage of her kindness today.  That asshole doesn’t deserve to have her as a friend.”

I ran my fingers through my hair as tears formed that would never spill.  “Stop it, Amber.  I can handle this.”  

“Stop being so nice to them.  They don’t deserve it.  Let out that fiery redhead temper I’ve seen a million times before.”

“Amber, stop antagonizing her.  What Jacoby did today was foolish, but having her yell at him isn’t the answer.  She’s had him worried, and her running out on him like she did was uncalled for.  He’s been nothing but a good friend to her.”

My eyes shot open.  “He’s been a good
friend
to me?” I repeated in disbelief.  How dare this man suggest that I had been anything but a good friend to Jacoby.  Most people would’ve told him where to take a long walk off a short pier after what he did, but no, I stood up for him.  All that money out the window on a wedding that would never happen, and I defended him.  Protected him.  Cared for him even while I felt the world crumble around my head.  “
Fuck you!”

A half smirk creased the corner of Amber’s mouth.  Without a word, she handed me the phone and stepped back.  I inhaled deep, closed my eyes and allowed everything that I’d held deep inside to be released.  Enough was enough.  “Listen,
Ralph
,” I could practically feel him cringe at the sound of that name, “tell Jacoby that I said fuck off, you insensitive prick.  For the last year I’ve swallowed my pride and accepted him coming out of the closet while breaking my heart in the process.  I’ve endured the torture of watching him grow closer to the man who replaced me.  I even befriended
you
, never allowing my smile to falter in his presence.  But today, he threw that smile, along with my pride, back in my face.  And your accusation that I was being childish…”

“I didn’t say that,” Eddie argued.

“No, you
implied
it, and I wasn’t being childish.  I was hurt and needed to get away.  So, again I say, fuck you.  And fuck your boyfriend, fiancé, whatever.  I’m done playing the dutiable friend for now.  Other women would have tossed him to the curb when he did what he did, but not me.  Well, now I need space.  Give it to me.”

This time it was Amber who was impersonating a fish.  She blinked her eyes and a huge grin exploded across her face.  In the middle of her bedroom, she started doing a jig of celebration.

Eddie remained silent.  Even though I was breathing very hard, it was almost as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  All this time I’d carried those feelings with me, and in a moment of clarity, I realized that all the guys I’d been dating hadn’t been as douche-y as I thought.  The douche was me, because I was holding on to the past.

“Is that all?” Eddie asked, his tone soft and steady.

“Yes.  Now, I have to go.  I’ve got to get ready to be fucked by a real man tonight.”

Amber went from doing a jig to full on twerking.  It was amazing to watch her move like that in such a delicate dress, but that woman had the moves.

I ended the call without giving Eddie a chance to say another word.  A deep sigh pushed from my chest.  I threw the phone on the bed and laughed.  I laughed long and hard; to the point I was breathless.  I laughed so hard that I hunched over, grappling the bed for support.  After a few minutes, Amber started laughing with me.  Every time either of us tried to say something, it came out as a jumble of words.  Swimming in laughter, we fell back on the bed, uncaring of the dress and accessories beneath us.  We just laughed.  It felt good.  Liberating.