Indigo Summer (15 page)

Quincy's demeanor changed. He became quiet and standoffish as he ushered me out of his room, down the staircase and through the front door. After that, things were never the same. Even his walking me to class seemed artificial, as if he was just going through the motions. There was no enthusiasm in his voice when we talked on the phone, or when he saw me on Monday after a long weekend. In fact, it was me who did all the calling. If I didn't call Quincy, there was a good chance we might not talk. When he did call, it was in return of my phone call. I sought him out in the mornings before school to say good morning, and rushed over to the football field after dance team practice just to say good-night. Things were definitely different.

Still, I made him promise to come over on Christmas Day.

“I'll try, Indi,” he said. “I have relatives from out of town here. It's going to be hard breaking away.”

“You have to,” I said.

“It will have to be sometime in the afternoon, after I spend time with them,” he'd said. “I'll see if I can get my mother's car.”

 

Three o'clock had come and gone. It was a quarter past five and I was becoming restless. I called his cell phone three times, and had left two messages. Christmas was nearing its end, and there was no Quincy. Mistletoe hung in the doorway between the living room and kitchen, a rib roast had been cooked in the oven, cakes and pies were all over the dining room table. Opened Christmas gifts and wrapping was scattered about; I'd received just about everything I'd asked for—a brand-new stereo, gift certificates from Victoria's Secret, Charlotte Russe, 5.7.9, and the Disney store. Every CD I asked for, I got. A leather Gucci purse and a pair of boots were mine too. But no Quincy.

When the doorbell sounded, it echoed through the entire house. I exhaled and shut my eyes for a moment. I didn't want to seem anxious, so I let someone else get it as I observed myself in the bathroom mirror. My eyes were still a little puffy from crying, but they weren't bad. A little Visine would clear them right up. I refreshed my lip gloss and combed my hair.

“Indi,” Mama called, and I waited a few minutes before answering. “Indi, you got company.”

My heart beat a little faster than its normal pace. I couldn't wait to see Quincy. Even though he was over three hours late, my anger seemed to vanish the moment the doorbell had rung. I walked slowly down the steps and could swear I heard Mel's laughter echo through my house. It was definitely a woman's voice that I heard. It was definitely Mel.

“Hey, Indi,” Tameka said. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and handed me a package wrapped in silver paper. “Merry Christmas, girl.”

I grabbed the gift, a flood of emotions rushing through my veins. I hoped my disappointment wasn't obvious, as I faked a smile.

“Hello, Indi,” Mel said. She was dressed in sexy low-cut jeans and a sexy top. “Santa Claus been good to you?”

“Yes, ma'am,” I said, and gave a half smile.

“Open the gift,” Tameka urged. “Hurry up.”

Inside was a set of silver bangles and a matching pair of hoop earrings.

“Thank you,” I said, and hugged Tameka. “These are cute.”

“Did Quincy ever show up?” she whispered as we embraced.

“Not yet.”

I said “yet” because for some crazy reason, I was still hopeful.

 

When Mel and Tameka invited me to the movies, I declined.

“Might do you some good to get out of the house, Indi,” Nana said.

“Ain't that the truth?” Mel agreed, as the two of them rearranged my evening for me.

“Come on, Indi. Go with us,” Tameka said.

I was afraid that if I left my house, Quincy might show up. But after much convincing, I agreed to a movie with Mel and Tameka. Anything was better than sitting at home.

 

A bag of popcorn in one hand, and a soda in the other, we searched for the auditorium where our movie was showing.

“Here, hold this,” I told Tameka. “I have to go really bad.” I bounced around as my bladder was about to explode. Mama told me about holding it until the last minute. She said I would damage my insides by doing that.

I handed Tameka my popcorn and soda and made a beeline for the ladies room. As I swung the door opened, I slammed into a girl coming out. Looked up and discovered it was Patrice Robinson, dressed in a pair of tight jeans that looked as if they were painted onto her body.

“Dang, watch where you going,” she said and rolled her eyes when she realized it was me.

“Excuse me,” I said with attitude and walked on past her.

“You excused.”

After handling my business, I stood in the mirror for a moment. I washed my hands, and made sure my hair was okay. Tameka and Mel waited for me just outside the door. As I strolled toward them, I caught a glimpse of Quincy standing in the line for the concession stand. I dropped my purse at the sight of him. He was dressed in a Michael Vick jersey and a pair of jeans that sagged a little. His arms were wrapped tightly around Patrice's small waist and hers were around his neck, as they gazed into each other's eyes and shared a kiss. Her round hips and overdeveloped body was pressed up against his. He was lost in the moment until his eyes met mine. Instantly he dropped his hand from her waist.

“Hey, Indi, what's up?” he had the nerve to ask.

“Yeah, what is up, Quincy?” I asked.

“You know Patrice, right?” He smiled. Patrice smiled, too, and gave a little superficial wave.

“Hey, Indi,” she said.

I didn't even address her. I spoke directly to Quincy. “What are you doing? I been waiting for you all day. You said you were coming by,” I said.

“Me and Patrice been hanging out today. She gave me this jersey for Christmas,” he said, and turned so that I could see the back. “You like it?”

I just stared at him in disbelief. His mouth was moving, but I had lost track of what he was saying.

“Are you okay, Indi?” Mel asked. Her and Tameka were both by my side now.

“Yes, ma'am.”

“He's a loser. You don't need that. Drop him like a bad habit,” Mel said, and wasn't whispering.

But I couldn't let it go. “Why are you hanging all over Patrice like that?”

“Me and Marcus is together now,” Patrice boasted. “Tell her, Marcus.”

“Yeah, tell me Marcus,” I said to him.

He didn't say a word. Just stood there looking like the cat who had swallowed the canary.

Suddenly, I felt Tameka's hands on my shoulders.

“Let's go, Indi. Forget him, he ain't about nothing,” Tameka said, pulling me away.

“We can leave if you want to, Indi,” Mel said. “We can see a movie another time.”

I was so happy that she said that, because I was on the verge of tears. Couldn't wait to get outside so I could let them go. I couldn't cry in front of Quincy or Patrice. They weren't even worth my tears.

“You wanna leave?” Mel asked.

“Yes,” I whispered, and before I knew it, we were in the parking lot at Mel's car. I didn't even remember how we got there.

My heart was hurting so badly. Worse than anything I had ever experienced. Worse than the whipping I got with Daddy's belt when I cut up at school. Worse than the punishment I received when my grades dropped. So much worse.

My first real boyfriend, and my first real heartbreak all at the same time. It was too much to handle.

Indigo

Christmas
Day didn't feel much like Christmas after all.

Mama and Daddy had already retired for the night, but Nana was still up when I got home. She sat in the recliner next to the window, the moonlight hitting her face, reading glasses resting at the tip of her nose, as she flipped through a
Jet
magazine.

“Movie was over that fast?” she asked when I walked through the door. Fighting mad, I snatched my winter coat off, slung it across the chair in the family room. Life was so unfair, and it seemed that God just allowed it to be that way.

“We decided not to go.”

“Saw Quincy at the movies, did you?”

“Mel called you?” I asked, and she nodded a yes.

“You okay?” she asked softly, and I'd held onto the tears up until that moment. They crawled down my light brown cheeks.

“No, but there's nothing I can do about it.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked. “It always helps to talk things through.”

I kneeled at Nana's feet and rested my head in her lap. She stroked my hair, as the tears began to rush down my face like a waterfall.

“No, I don't wanna talk about it,” I mumbled, and continued to cry. I had cried all the way home in the backseat of Mel's car, too. “Not right now.”

“Okay, then. We won't talk about it right now,” she said. “But I do have one thing to say, Indi. You're not the first girl to have her heart broken, and this certainly won't be the last time, either.”

“You mean I'll have to feel this way again someday?”

“Most likely, yes.” Nana was nonchalant about the whole thing. “It's something that we all go through at some point in our lives.”

“You had your heart broken before, Nana?”

“Plenty of times,” she said.

“By who?” I asked and sat up. Looked into her eyes.

“I remember when I was a young girl, a little bit older than you are now. There was a young man who lived on the other side of the railroad tracks. His name was Sonny. Sonny Ray. I tell you, I was crazy about that fella. He was handsome, a spiffy dresser, had charisma—he was about eighteen years old at the time. I was probably sixteen, maybe seventeen. Had my head in the clouds for about six months, Sonny did. I mean I was gone, had the biggest crush. Well, one day he decided he was going away. He had joined the United States Navy, and decided he was going to sail the seas. “‘Once I get settled, I'm coming back for you, Virginia. That's what he promised. ‘I'm sending you a train ticket to wherever I am and we getting married.' I was so excited! Ran around telling everybody, me and Sonny getting married. Just as soon as he get settled, he's gonna send for me.”

“Did he send for you, Nana?”

“A whole year went past before I heard from him again. And when he finally breezed through town, he had another woman hanging on his arm, her belly poked out as big as a watermelon. They had gone down to the justice of the peace and got married, and was expecting a child.” She leaned back in the recliner. “Needless to say, that was the end of me and Sonny Ray.”

“Did you do something? Say something?”

“Wasn't nothing to be said, baby. He had made his choice, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. My heart was broken for a little while, but I got over it. I survived. It didn't kill me—you see I'm still here. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. I had many more heartbreaks after that,” she said. “You see, baby, we all make choices in this life, and sometimes we hurt others in the process. Sometimes we get hurt ourselves. But as long as we don't die, and we learn something from it, then we have to go on.”

“But it hurts so bad, Nana.”

“I know it does, baby. But you'll get through it. You're strong, and you're brave. You're a Summer, and you're cut from good cloth.” She took my hands in hers, squeezed them and then kissed my forehead. “It's okay to hurt for a little while, as long as you don't stay there. You understand?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“You cry and you get it all out. Don't hold it inside. And when you go back to school after the holidays, you hold your head up high, and you don't drop it for anyone. You walk through those hallways, and you let him see that you've moved on.”

“Marcus tried to tell me that Quincy was a dog. But I wouldn't listen.”

“Some things we have to discover for ourselves,” Nana said.

“I thought Marcus was just saying those things because he wanted me for himself.”

“Could be that he wanted you for himself.” She was so calm. Nana never got excited about much. She removed her reading glasses and set them and the book on the end table. “Or it could be he just simply cares about you. Didn't want to see you get hurt.”

“Well he was right about Quincy, Nana,” I told her. “I was so mean to him. Blaming him for Jade moving away. I wouldn't even speak to him when he tried to plead his case. I'm sure he hates me now.”

“I wouldn't be so sure about that,” Nana said. “Hate is not something you develop overnight. Besides, he came by to see you today.”

“He did?” I raised up and looked at Nana in surprise. That cheered me up and made my heart a little lighter. She grabbed my face in her hands.

“He left you something.”

“For real? What is it?” I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

“It's over there under the tree.” She pointed her head in that direction. “Said he wrapped that one himself.”

It was the only gift left under the tree. Wrapped in bright red, silky paper with a big red bow, it looked as if Marcus had wrapped it. I rushed over to the tree, grabbed it and ripped the paper off. Opened the white cardboard box to see what was hidden inside. The red hair was a dead giveaway as I pulled the Raggedy Ann doll out of the box and held it in the air. It was identical to the one I had when I was little, wearing the same cute little outfit. A tear trickled down my cheek. Not only had Marcus remembered what I said about Raggedy Ann, but he had also put some thought and effort into finding the perfect gift for me. He had to have searched high and low for it. They just didn't make dolls like that anymore. That touched my heart. Had me wondering how could he be so thoughtful, when I had been so mean to him.

The tears rushed from my eyes again. A combination of heartache over Quincy and guilt over the way I treated Marcus. I needed to see him, to thank him. To tell him how sorry I was. I slipped my jacket around my arms.

“I'll be right back, Nana,” I said. She nodded a knowing nod as I dashed out the door, ran across my yard and ended up on Marcus's front porch. His Jeep was gone, but I wanted to at least ask his father if he knew when he might be home. I rang the bell and waited for response. Killer was inside going crazy, barking as if he'd lost his mind. I rang the bell again. No answer. I stood there for a moment, and then slowly walked off the porch. I rushed back home and stepped inside from the cold.

“He wasn't home,” I told Nana.

“Well, he's gotta come home sooner or later,” she said, still reading her magazine. “Maybe you can catch him in the morning.”

Morning would be too late. I needed to see him tonight, and was willing to wait. Disappointed, I trekked upstairs to my room. Decided to run myself a warm bath, with bubbles floating everywhere. I sat on the toilet with the lid down, braiding my hair as the water flowed in the tub. Once the tub was filled, I stepped in and let the water soothe every muscle in my body. Unfortunately, it wasn't able to soothe my aching heart, so that part of me just continued to ache. According to Nana, this was a process that took some time. Soon I would feel better. I had to believe that.

I decided to wait up for Marcus, and ran to my window every time I heard a car door slam, hoping it was him. But each time, it was someone else. Before long, my eyes became heavy and sleep found me. With Raggedy Ann in my arms, I finally gave in to it.