“Why are you guys sitting like that?” I asked. “Let's get out of here.”
Nancy raised an eyebrow and tilted her head at the bathroom.
I met her eyes. “I do have to go, but it can wait until we hit the lobby. Let's go. Now.”
“No one's going anywhere!” someone said from behind the bathroom door.
I forgot all about minor annoyances like having to use the toilet and fighting a man on the elevator, and began to worry about the personal safety of my cousin, my girlfriend, and myself as two skinny guys emerged from the bathroom.
One was the third bellhop, still in uniform. The other, who was doing the talking, was also in his mid-twenties, dressed in an Adidas tracksuit. He looked vaguely familiarâI struggled for a moment to place him. His hair was a giveaway. Ramen Head! The fanboy who saw Mei-ling perform at the night market and then followed us to the post-show snack. He didn't look so innocent now. Not with that gun he was holding to the side of his leg.
“Wood Duck isn't getting Mei-ling back,” said Ramen Head. “She came to me, man.”
The bellhop smiled, walked to the door, and locked and chained it. “Just relax and stay quiet. We're working on a plan here.”
Dammit! Why did that guy have to have a gun? Big Eye had better have some contingency plan. As the two men put their heads together and whispered, I took a step back and forced myself to look away from the gun. I tried to give Mei-ling and Nancy a reassuring look but I think I only scared them more.
Maybe I could find something I could work with. I looked around the room. There was Mei-ling's handbag in the corner next to a desk. I recognized some of her clothesâwhat she was wearing when she split on meâhanging on the chair and her shoes neatly placed near the door. So this was where she was staying the entire time. It wasn't too bad a setup. The room was spacious and had a nice view of street traffic. I saw a maid outfit with a short skirt hanging on the closet's lever doorknob.
“Is that one of the sex outfits, Mei-ling?” I accused. Nancy gave me a stern look.
“No,” said Mei-ling. “I clean rooms during the day. Early afternoons.”
“Nancy,” I said, “did you know that Mei-ling's been doing nudie shows here at night?”
“Is that true, Mei-ling?” she asked.
Mei-ling shifted on the bed. “There is no actual genital sex,” she offered. “And it's only with other women. Tell him, Jimmy.”
Ramen Head had a name. Jimmy brushed the handle of the gun against his waist. “It's a classy act,” he said, “because I'm a classy guy.”
“I remember you, Jimmy,” I said.
He smiled. “I remember you, too.” He didn't like me enough to put the gun down, though. “Mei-ling had a good show at the Shilin Night Market.”
The bellhop snapped and pointed a finger at me. “I saw you on TV! Aren't you the guy at the night market who blocked the bullet with a pot?”
“That's me,” I said. They both nodded and made knowing sounds.
Jimmy tapped the flat side of his gun against his thigh. “You don't have a pot now, Jing-nan,” he said. “Can't stop a bullet this time!” The bellhop chortled with delight. “Benson,” Jimmy said to the bellhop, “this is Mei-ling's cousin.”
“No shit,” said Benson. “She's related to the hero of Shilin Night Market!”
Jimmy lifted the gun to waist level and took an uncertain step toward me. If he pulled the trigger, the bullet would go into the floor, two feet in front of me. “He ain't no hero,” said Jimmy. “He's a chump. You should see him kissing all that tourist ass for money.”
“What's wrong with making money?” I asked.
“You make money on your knees. I'm building an entertainment empire. Adult entertainment. Playboy 2.0. I've got girls. Talented ones who aren't just pretty.” Jimmy tilted his head at Mei-ling. “Her first album isn't going to have Hello Kitty crap on the cover!”
I kept my eyes on the gun and kept the conversation going. “If you're so successful, then why does Mei-ling have to work cleaning rooms?”
He rubbed his nose with his empty hand. “Mei-ling's been making major money doing the nudie shows. Soon, she'll be able to afford her own apartment.”
I turned to Mei-ling. “Can you see what's happening? Before long, he's going to turn you out as a prostitute.”
“Jimmy's a legitimate producer, not a pimp!” said Mei-ling.
I nodded slowly. “Jimmy, why don't you let us go? Mei-ling can come back and record for you any time you want.”
His face twitched. “Fuck that!” I saw that Benson was becoming uncomfortable with the situation. He didn't know what Jimmy had planned any more than we did. Maybe there wasn't any plan at all.
“What are you going to do with that gun, Jimmy?” I asked, careful to enunciate clearly. “You don't want anybody to get hurt.”
He swallowed. “You've already hurt me, Jing-nan.”
“
I
hurt
you
?”
“At the night market. You ignored me, just the same way everybody's always ignored me. Except for Mei-ling. She respects me.” He was getting choked up.
I didn't want to contradict him. The guy with the gun always wins an argument, anyway. “I'm sorry, Jimmy. I was preoccupied with so many things that night. I should have introduced myself to you.” Nancy's face was neutral when our eyes met. I knew that at some point one of us would spring something and the other would have to read the situation fast. “Are you all right, Nancy?” I asked.
“Stop talking to her!” Jimmy ordered as he swung the gun up and pointed it at my forehead.
There was an insistent knock at the door. Benson and Jimmy looked at each other.
“Get it, Benson,” said Jimmy. “I'll cover you.”
Benson snuck up to the door. “Yes?” he asked.
“What's the hold-up with the girl?” The deep voice must belong to a big man with little patience. Benson threw off the chain and opened the door, revealing exactly that, a broad-shouldered brute in a suit.
Jimmy stomped in anger. “Why did you open the door, asshole?”
Before Benson could reply the big man swept into the room. “You!” he declared, pointing to Mei-ling. “Come with me.”
Jimmy stood his ground and waved his gun in the air like a winning racing ticket. “She's staying with me. Got that, cocksucker?” I had to admire the balls on Jimmy. Even if I had a gun I wouldn't be saying that to a man who was a foot taller and twice my weight. The man backed up, his eyes on fire. “Get out of here!” The man touched his tie and left.
Jimmy walked to the door and kicked it shut. He pounded on the door with his free hand, yelling, “Fuck off, fuck off!”
I noticed the maid uniform slip off the closet's lever knob. The door was now slightly ajar. I glanced at Nancy and Mei-ling to see if they had caught the movement but they remained fixated on the gun.
When Jimmy's tantrum was over, Benson tried to talk sense into him. “Jimmy, what the fuck are you doing? That was one of Wood Duck's bodyguards!”
Jimmy worked his jaw side-to-side. “Getting cold feet, bitch?”
“Look, we were just going to ask for more money and let Mei-ling go. Wood Duck is going to kill us if we delay this any more. Don't be stupid, Jimmy.”
“Don't call me âstupid'!” Jimmy clocked him in the right temple with the butt of the gun and the bellhop crumpled. I inhaled deeply. If Jimmy were willing to beat down his pal, what would he do to us? “Still worried about that old Wood Dick?” he pointlessly asked Benson.
Jimmy swung the gun to my head. “Don't move!”
“I didn't.”
“Keep your hands where I can see them!”
I held up my hands and tried not to look at the closet door. “Jimmy, when are you going to record Mei-ling's album? I have some ideas.”
Mei-ling spoke up. “We need some more money first.”
“We could just ask your dad,” I said.
The bed springs creaked as she flinched. “Fuck him! I wouldn't take his money if I was starving in the streets.”
Nancy put her hands on her knees. “I agree with Mei-ling. Big Eye is despicable and all his money is bloodstained.”
“I'm not going home!” Mei-ling added.
“You don't have to leave, Mei-ling,” said Jimmy. “You always have a place with me.”
“I want to get my own place,” she said.
Jimmy glanced at me. “Mei-ling, let's talk about that later.”
“I'm looking forward to Mei-ling's album,” I cheerily added. “I'll admit that I didn't like the music at first but seeing her perform won me over.”
“She did a great show,” Jimmy said. His enthusiasm was genuine.
A crackling sound came from a walkie-talkie concealed by Benson's prone figure, then a voice that sounded familiar. “Benson? This is Daddy. Are you still with Jimmy?”
Jimmy took a deep breath. “Oh, shit.”
I looked over at Nancy. Her legs were still and her arms were crossed. In fact, she seemed more impatient than scared. Mei-ling was a tougher read. She didn't want to go back to Big Eye but it seemed that she was fed up with Jimmy as well.
“Benson! Benson!” the walkie-talkie squawked.
“What am I going to do about his fucking dad?” Jimmy asked.
“Jimmy,” I said soothingly. “Mei-ling, Nancy, and I are leaving.”
“Nobody's leaving!”
“Okay, how about this. Why don't you just leave? Run away somewhere. Something bad is going to happen.”
“I have to think!” Jimmy started to pace when another knock came at the door.
“Benson!” a man called out. “Open the door!”
Jimmy sprinted to closed door. “Benson's not here!”
“I'm going to kill you, Jimmy!” Keys jingled outside the door.
Jimmy tiptoed until he stood near the closet so that he had all of us and the front door covered.
The door blew open and the male desk clerk stomped inâthe one I had just kneed in the balls.
Jimmy pointed the gun with both arms extended, the deadly prow of a ship. “You're going to kill me, huh?” he taunted the desk clerk.
He gave Jimmy a withering look. Benson himself began to stir but his father didn't bother to look him over. Instead, he focused on me as if he were a man dying of thirst and my throat was the plastic tab on a bottle of water. He raised a fist and I noted that his bruised-blue nose contrasted sharply with his red eyes.
“Fuck your mother!” he yelled at me.
“Sorry,” I said, “but you started it.”
The desk clerk sighed with the weight of a man accustomed to suppressing his feelings in a bureaucratic criminal enterprise. “Let these people go, Jimmy. Don't delay things.” Benson's dad shook his head. “I can't believe you brought a gun here. It shames all of us.”
Jimmy took the gun in his right hand and let it drop to his side. He remained on the offensive, however. “Mr. Chang,” said Jimmy, “I'm not willing to put in twenty years with Wood Duck so I can end up wearing a bowtie, like some fucking rabbit like you.” “Rabbit” in this usage also meant “faggot.” The two words don't sound similar in Taiwanese, but the slur connects the bent paws of upright rabbits with the perceived limp wrists of gay men.
Mr. Chang, newly incensed, brought up an accusing finger. “You're still the same kid who wet the bed when you stayed over at our house!”
Mei-ling laughed out loud.
“Shut up, you slut!” said Jimmy.
Her eyes hardened and her mouth slid into the smallest smile. That expression may seem innocuous, but when an Asian makes it, she is done with you. My arms twitched.
“You're an asshole, Jimmy,” said Nancy.
“I've got a bullet for you, bitch,” he said. “I've got enough bullets for all of you.”
I never have alpha-male impulses but after Jimmy insulted both my cousin and my girlfriend, I wanted to pound his face in.
Benson made a funny sound, like when a cartoon character swallows a bite that's too big, and rolled on his side.
Mr. Chang muttered, “This whole thing is your fault, Benson. You told me to vouch for your stupid friend.”
“Don't call me âstupid,' you rabbit!” said Jimmy.
Fearless, Mr. Chang raised a hand and walked to Jimmy to deliver a room-service slap. There was the sound of a sledgehammer on a steel plate as Jimmy shot Mr. Chang through his opened palm.
Mr. Chang stumbled but managed to smear his hand across the left side of Jimmy's face before folding to his knees. Jimmy wiped his face and was entranced by the sight of blood on his hand. He took a few steps before the closet door flew open. Because he slouched slightly, it caught him right in the face. Jimmy knelt against a wall as the gun dropped to the floor.
Frankie stepped from the closet and put his right foot on the gun. Now that the door was opened, I saw a large hole. There was only sheetrock between the closets of adjacent rooms. Cheap but appropriate for a hotel that catered to Chinese.
“Everyone all right?” he asked. “Thought I heard something.” He glanced at us and then surveyed Jimmy, Mr. Chang, and Benson. “Reminds me of a poker game I was at, years ago.”
Jimmy leaned back and looked up at Frankie. “Who the hell are you?” he demanded.
“I'm the guy who did this,” said Frankie. He took a drag on his cigarette and blew smoke at the ceiling fire alarm.
Nothing happened.
Frankie shook his head and spat, “That cheap piece of . . .”
A piercing sound tore through the room. It was so loud it seemed to originate from my head. It was disorienting and we were all cringing and covering our ears, but Jimmy completely freaked out, writhing on the floor and crying. The alarm revived Benson and he helped his father up.
Frankie put the gun in his waistband, hopped on to the nightstand and removed the battery from the smoke alarm, killing the sound.
Frankie playfully leapt down and picked up Jimmy by the arm.