In the Spotlight (21 page)

Somehow, we found our way back to the green room, hands intertwined, only to have a chorus of praise from our fellow cast mates. The rest of the show sped by, and I barely heard Ms. Bard’s notes and praise. Hayley, my parents, Grandma, and Duke were all there as promised with hugs and flowers. There was no sign of Harlow but that didn’t surprise me, and it didn’t upset me in the least. I blushed as Josh’s mom gave me flowers.

“We’ve been waiting for months to hear that Josh finally asked you out,” she confided, causing my blush to deepen tenfold.

Josh offered to bring me home, and I was so red by that time that when Dad said, “We won’t wait up,” with a playful nudge and a wink, I nearly fainted. Everyone laughed.

Then Grandma came up and clapped her hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Well done tonight, young man,” Grandma said. “Now are you my granddaughter’s boyfriend?”

“Way to beat around the bush, Grandma,” I muttered.

Grandma, of course, didn’t notice, she just waited expectantly for Josh to answer.

Josh shifted uncomfortably as Grandma leaned heavily on him. He glanced at me, and I stared into his eyes to see what he would say. “Well, yes, I am,” Josh affirmed. The look in his eyes asked me to confirm.

I sighed. “Okay, Grandma, now you know he’s my boyfriend. Happy?”

Grandma ignored me. “Now listen, young man,” she said, leaning in close with a confidential tone. “This girlie needs to get laid.” “Grandma!” I gasped.

Josh had the decency to blush. I, however, nearly fainted.

Luckily, Josh steered me away from Grandma and Duke, and if his hand hadn’t been on my back, my knees very nearly might have buckled. Who says things like that? Who has a grandmother like mine? Seriously. I was fairly certain I’d never recover from the trauma of that encounter. Funnily enough, I wasn’t even all that embarrassed, it was more the response Josh had given that was really causing tremors to race through my body.

“Have you, um, done that a lot?” I asked boldly.

“Done what?” Josh asked, grinning. “Dealt with crazy grandmothers? Sure, all the time.”

I cleared my throat. “That’s not, um, what I meant.”

“Oh, you mean do I make a habit of getting girls laid?” Josh asked directly, seeming to enjoy my vague discomfort.

“Um, yeah,” I muttered.

“Not yet,” Josh said. And he left it at that.

The tradition for opening night was a bonfire at Ms. Bard’s house. Thankfully this year the school had a teacher’s institute day scheduled for Friday so we could stay out as late as we wanted.

As we got in Josh’s car, I couldn’t relax. When Josh reached over to take my hand, I nearly jumped out of my skin. He leaned over and looked me directly in my eyes. “Is this all still okay with you?”

“What do you mean?” My brain wouldn’t let me think straight.

Josh hesitated. “You and me.”

“You and me?” I repeated. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with us?” Us. Just the sound of that word caused me to shiver in pleasure.

“You’re just so tense. I thought maybe…” Josh trailed off.

I blinked in disbelief. All this time I thought Josh wasn’t making a move because he was being a gentleman or because he thought I still had feelings for Kyle, when in reality he was insecure. Painfully so.

“Thought what?” I pushed.

“I thought you might be having second thoughts now that things are, you know, official,” Josh said, dropping my gaze.

I laughed. Josh looked up startled at my reaction. “Never!” I said emphatically. “It’s just…I’ve never really had a boyfriend before.”

And that’s when I reached up, pulled him to me, and kissed him. He seemed surprised but pleased as he returned the kiss. We drove to Ms. Bard’s feeling lighter, dizzier, but closer and more secure.

Ms. Bard lived on a farm just outside of town. She built a huge bonfire out in a field, she read by firelight while we all enjoyed the freedom of the night.

There was a lot of sneaking off to make out at Ms. Bard’s bonfire. I’d learned over the past two years that if I didn’t want to stumble upon a couple and be horrifically embarrassed, I stayed near the bonfire and roasted marshmallows. And tossed sticks into the flames. And lamented the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend .

Now I had Josh, and I had no idea what was going to happen when we got to Ms. Bard’s house. Suddenly I felt very tense again.

By the time we got there the fire was blazing, Ms. Bard was reading, and couples had already begun to scatter into the darkness. Josh didn’t ask what was going on. He seemed to instinctively know how things worked. I wondered what traditions had been observed in the theater department at Josh’s old school. I made a mental note to ask him later.

As we walked across the field, Josh took my hand, and we headed to roast marshmallows. We stuck to each other like glue the entire night, whether we were talking to people or feeding each other burnt marshmallows. The funniest part of the whole new relationship situation was that I’d always pitied girls who clung to their boyfriends. And here I was, one of the club. To be fair, though, Josh stuck to me just as much as I stuck to him.

Toward midnight, Josh leaned over and murmured, “Do you want to take a walk?”

Shivers of anticipation danced along my spine. “Okay,” I agreed. We slipped away into the dark and walked until we were out of sight of the bonfire. Josh dropped down on a patch of grass and playfully tugged my hand until I sat down beside him. He wrapped his arms around me. The stars winked at us in the vast black sky. The air was warm with just a hint of chill when the breeze blew, giving the whole night a dreamy quality. As we sat, cuddled in the grass, I wondered why Josh wasn’t making a move.

We were as alone as we were ever going to be, and weren’t teenage boys supposed to be all hormones? Maybe there was something wrong with me. I almost laughed out loud. Now who was the insecure one?

Still, I blurted, “Is there something wrong with me?”

Josh chuckled softly. “What would make you ask that?”

“You aren’t, you know, trying anything,” I muttered so glad for the darkness. Josh was quiet for so long that I actually started to laugh nervously. A high pitched, tiny laugh that sounded strange to my ears. “Wow, this is awkward.”

“Han,” Josh said, “I want nothing more than to try something, as you said. I promise there is nothing wrong with you.

I just don’t want to move too fast and ruin what we have. This is too important to me.”

My heart flipped over. It was amazing to actually hear the guy I was in love with tell me exactly what I’d been dreaming of him saying. And his arms were tightening around me, turning me slightly.

He kissed me then, long and deep and thoroughly. That kiss made me believe in every cheesy romance novel, love song, and sappy teen movie ever made. Ever. It was that good. And it banished any fear I had of him not wanting me. I got another long, sweet kiss as he dropped me off.

Chapter Twenty

Arriving at the auditorium the next afternoon, the butterflies I felt in my stomach turned carnivorous. The thought of seeing Josh in the flesh after all that had happened the night before terrified me. I was shaking so badly by the time I got to the green room, I had to sit down in the nearest chair. Thankfully, I was the first person there, so no one noticed. Unfortunately, I was so preoccupied with my nerves that I didn’t notice Josh come in.

I jumped out of my skin when he slipped his arms around me and kissed my neck. “Whoa, it’s just me,” he murmured into my ear.

His voice made me melt into a puddle of warmth. I relaxed into his arms and smiled. “Hi you,” I sighed.

We started to get ready, putting on costumes and make-‐-up.

It was amazing how comfortable it felt to finally be his girlfriend.

We were out in the open with our feelings, and even though I knew not everyone was happy about us, I was.

Soon everyone else started to arrive and the green room was abuzz with excitement, fresh off our success the night before. Josh and I were sitting in some metal folding chairs laughing when I realized I didn’t have the right shoes on. I ran to the principal’s dressing room to grab the vintage jelly shoes I’d secretly come to love. On the way out of the dressing room, I nearly plowed into Claudia.

“Oh hey,” Claudia said, rummaging in her bag.” Kyle said you left this at his house when you were rehearsing.”

She handed me my brown suede coat that I had left at Kyle’s house back in February. A deep gash ran down one sleeve. Stupid tears sprang to my eyes.

“Thanks,” I muttered turning away. That’s when I realized that Josh had witnessed the whole exchange.

“Kyle?” Josh said his voice eerily calm and intense. I nodded. Josh quickly closed the space between us, pulling me into a warm hug. “Why didn’t you tell me that night?” he demanded.

“I knew you’d go punch the living daylights out of him,” I sniffled.

Josh laughed. “Okay, you’re right about that.”

“And I just wanted to be with you so much that night,” I continued. “That’s the night I think I fell in love with you.”

Josh stilled. I realized what I’d said, and even though I knew it might freak him out, I wanted him to know everything about how I felt. “If I’d known, I probably would have beaten him senseless,” Josh repeated. “I’ve been so in love with you since I rescued you from the basketball at that game.”

I risked a peek up at him. He was smiling down at me. There was something deliriously beautiful about his eyes at that moment.

We stared at each other for an eternity before he leaned down and kissed me.

“Sorry to break up this little love fest, but you’re blocking my way,” Kyle sniped, breaking our reverie.

Josh tensed and I felt his hands ball into fists. I wrapped my arms around him tighter, because even though what Kyle had done was unforgivable, I was past it, and we didn’t need that kind of trouble before curtain.

Kyle raised an eyebrow when he noticed I was holding my jacket. “I see Claudia returned your jacket to you from our little rendezvous,” he said. Then baiting Josh, Kyle continued, “Good luck with her, man. She’s frigid.”

The rumble came from deep down in Josh’s chest. It was almost a growl, primal and angry. If my arms hadn’t been around him, I think he may have leapt on Kyle and pounded his face in. As if on cue, Kaylee appeared by my side with her clipboard and tapped her pen on it.

“Come on, Kyle,” she said, in an official voice. “I need to go over some notes with you from Ms. Bard. She just had a few questions.”

Kyle lost interest in us quickly. “He’s a pretentious jerk,” I murmured to Josh. “Not worth our time.”

Josh nodded, a pained expression on his face.

I grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the stairs. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

We slipped out the back door of the orchestra room. When I looked at Josh again, I thought I saw tears glinting in his eyes. This was almost too much for me. Tears formed in my eyes again.

“He hurt you,” Josh said slowly.

“I know,” I replied stupidly. “But I’m okay now.”

“If I’d known…” He choked with emotion.

“You might have done something stupid,” I said, swallowing more tears.

Josh paced back and forth, shaking his head. Finally, he leaned against a tree and shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I went over to stand beside him. The rough bark of the tree gave me something tangible to focus on. “I was so embarrassed,” I began. I knew I could do this—talk about this experience—because I had done it with Hayley and it was okay. “Here was this guy that I’d spent three years trying to get to notice me. It never occurred to me that if he wasn’t interested to begin with, maybe he wasn’t worth my time. And then when he did notice me, look what happened. I felt so stupid.”

Josh groaned. “And I made it so much better with all my teasing. I was so jealous because I thought you had feelings for him. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I wrapped my arms around him and nestled my face into his chest. “I just wanted you to stop and believe me so you’d like me, but that’s a moot point now.”

“True,” Josh said, smiling a small smile.

“Do you want to know what makes it a thousand times worse?” I asked. Josh looked at me expectantly. “After all that happened, we had that girls’ cast slumber party. Well, we played a game of truth or dare, and Claudia admitted that she and Kyle had been sleeping together since the beginning of the year. So he would have been cheating on Claudia with me. And she thinks I’m one of her best friends.”

“What a mess,” Josh said.

We slumped against the tree, emotionally spent. “How do you think we’ll do tonight?” I asked after awhile.

“Oh, we’ll be fantastic,” Josh said. “I just hope there aren’t too many kids in the audience tonight.”

“Why?” I asked.

Josh grinned and pulled me to him. “Because tonight Chad won’t be kissing Kelly. I’ll be kissing you.” He paused and leaned close to my ear. My whole body exploded as desire zipped to all my nerve endings. “And it’s going to be amazing.”

I gave a weak laugh. My knees shook a little, and I was glad that Josh was holding me up. “I don’t know if I’ll survive.”

That made Josh laugh. And everything felt okay again. Love was good. It made me believe that even with all the bad things that had happened, love would make it okay again.

The show went off without a hitch, and Josh was right. Our kiss was hot. I won’t go into details because it really was obscene how hot that kiss felt. And it was in public. I seriously felt like a brazen hussy. And yet, I was relieved to know that the audience just

assumed

that

it

was

part

of

the

show.

Chapter Twenty-‐-one

The matinee the next day went better than anyone could have hoped, and for the first time ever, I cried during the curtain call. How could it be over so quickly? It just didn’t seem possible.

As we struck the set, I was impossibly grateful for the opportunity to be Kelly, but I was looking forward even more to the coming week with prom and Grandma’s wedding. As soon as the set was down, we headed to Claudia’s house for the official cast party.