Authors: Lisa Wilde
“Oh yeah?
Hmmm
, that should be interesting.”
“
Sighhhhhh
, night Henry,” Ryan said and then began making what sounded like kissing noises into the phone.
Henry chuckled, “Night Ryan.” He ended the call with that. He just couldn’t bring himself to make those noises in return; he doubted Ryan would care anyway. From the sound of it he was feeling no pain.
T
HE NEXT morning Henry texted Ryan to let him know that he was stopping for bagels, cream cheese, and some donuts before heading over to the loft. Ryan never replied to the text, so Henry assumed that he was probably still asleep. When he got to the loft he had to ring the buzzer several times before someone finally let him in. They didn’t bother to ask who it was. When Henry got up stairs the door was already unlocked. Walking in, he found two of Ryan's friends on the sofa, head to foot. One of them looked like he was trying to get comfortable so Henry presumed that was who had opened the door for him. He put everything down on the counter; the guy didn’t bothering rolling over to look at him or say anything so Henry didn’t bother either.
He looked over to the bathroom door it was open, where was Cole? Ian and Kev were the ones occupying the sofa. Henry had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach; he almost didn’t walk over to the bedroom, he was too scared of what he would see. He stood stock still for a minute before his curiosity got the better of him and he steeled himself for whatever he would find on the other side of the wall. Henry tried to remind himself that they never said they were exclusive, the only mention of
anything
was Ryan's,
my
man
comment from the day before and they had not yet had a chance to talk about that. But he still couldn’t help feeling like he was Ryan’s man and vice versa.
When he turned the corner some of the dread left him, not all, but some. They were both in the bed but they were also both fully dressed. Henry cleared his throat but no one moved. He debated just leaving the food and a note and leaving, but he really didn’t want to leave while this guy was still in Ryan's bed. He went over and sat down where Ryan was face down in the pillow.
He ran his fingers through Ryan's hair and leaned down to his ear, “Hey you, wake up.”
Ryan began to stir.
“I brought food,” Henry whispered.
“
Mmmm
. Time is it?” Ryan asked in a grainy low voice.
“Early I guess, nine.”
“Damn.”
“I'm sorry, want me to go?”
Ryan pulled himself up slowly to his hands and knees and arched his back in a cat-like stretch, then shook his head. Finally, he responded, “No stay.” Ryan moved to the edge of the bed. Henry stood to give him room, Ryan looked back over his shoulder at his snoring friend and then at Henry.
Henry tried to act indifferent but Ryan clearly saw right through that.
“No.”
“No, what?” Henry asked innocently.
“No, I know what you’re thinking and just no.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything,” Henry tried to act dumb, putting a hand up to his chest.
“You’re a bad liar, Henry.”
Don’t I know it.
“Let me take a leak and brush my teeth,” Ryan yawned as he got up and stretched his arms above his head. “God, I need some water, my mouth is so fucking dry.”
Henry followed him out of the room.
While Ryan was in the bathroom he started unpacking everything that he brought. Kev must have smelled the food; either that, or he had never actually gone back to sleep after letting Henry in. He got up and leaned on the bathroom door jamb, waiting for Ryan to come out so that he could go in. He still hadn’t greeted Henry but hell, he wasn’t even sure that the guy had his eyes open.
Ryan came out and went right to the kitchen sink and turned on the cold tap holding his hand under it for a few seconds then pulling it away and sticking his face under the faucet and gulping water for a good fifteen seconds. When he stood up and shut off the tap he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the dripping water from his face. Henry just watched him.
Ryan shrugged, “Let me go change my clothes.”
Was he going to change in the room with the friend?
Damn Henry, stop with the jealous bullshit.
He’d gone from never getting jealous to maximum velocity pretty damn fast.
Kev came out of the bathroom and came into the kitchen area. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Henry said.
Scratching his head, he asked, “What you got there?”
Henry didn’t bother answering in words just moved back from the counter so he could see for himself
“Sweet.”
Well, that perked him right up.
Henry went to the other side of the counter and sat on one of the bar stools. Ryan came by with some clothes in hand and went into the bathroom. Henry smiled with relief.
“Want some coffee, dude?” Kev asked.
“Sure,” Henry replied. He couldn’t have brought them all coffee on his bike so he had decided to forego buying any. He also knew that Ryan always seemed to have some in the house, at least when he had been here; so he knew that they wouldn’t go without.
Henry watched this guy search around in Ryan's drawers and cabinets, he was confused because the coffee maker was right there on the counter and there was a little set up next to it of everything that he would need. Kev reached into the fridge and pulled out a big can of red bull. Henry watched him pop the top on the over-sized can and then open the water reservoir on the coffee maker and pour it in. Henry stayed silent, but watched with a curious stare. When the can was empty he opened a small bottle, a five hour energy shot that he had found in Ryan’s fridge as well. No way was he going to pour that in there too? Yup, sure enough he did. Henry rubbed his eyes with one hand then dragged it down his face. When that bottle was empty he reached up into the cabinet behind him and grabbed a bottle of vodka.
What the fuck?
Henry thought he had seen it all, when he was just about to say something. When this guy did something that rendered him speechless. He leaned over the counter to grab his jacket and dig through the inside pocket, he pulled out a small packet, with white powder in it.
No. Fucking. Way.
He opened the packet and tapped some of the substance into the concoction.
Henry was dumbfounded. He wasn’t a prude or a narc or some shit, but this was definitely not his deal. He was a probation officer. This isn’t shit he needed to be dealing with. This was also Ryan’s friend. If this dude thought that Henry was drinking that shit, he was bat shit crazy! Kev looked up at him while it was brewing; Henry was just gaping at him, still in shock. The guy reached into the donut box, grabbed a double chocolate and bit off a good half of it, nodded to Henry and turned to the cabinet to pull out a cup.
Kev was still inhaling the donut when Ryan came out of the bathroom. He walked up to Henry, drying his wet hair with the towel. Ryan stopped next to him and dropped the towel on the empty bar stool, he leaned in and kissed Henry’s cheek, “Thank you for bringing all this you didn’t have to do that. Is everything okay with your fam?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, it’s okay.” Henry was still in a stupor over the
coffee
that was brewing.
Ryan went around the counter and pulled out a few more cups.
“I made special brew man,” Kev said.
“Oh? Oh shit, is that why he looks like you just killed his dog?” Ryan asked pointing to Henry.
Henry stared at Ryan; he was being so cavalier about this.
Seriously?
He couldn’t stay shut any longer, “Special brew, really?”
More like toxic brew.
“Sure special brew, college coffee, show starter whatever,” Kev said with a big grin on his face.
Was Henry over reacting? He didn’t think so but he was starting to feel foolish. He shook his head in clear disgust, or at least he hoped it was clear.
“You probably want a regular coffee, huh? Want me to run to Dunkins?” Ryan asked, his look told Henry that he got it. He understood what Henry’s problem was.
“
Ummm
yeah, I mean, no.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, I want a regular coffee. No, I don’t want you to go get it for me.”
“Okay, I can make you a fresh pot. How’s that?” Ryan asked.
Henry waited to reply, watching Ryan; waiting to see if Ryan actually would pour that toxic shit into his coffee mug. Once he did, that was it Henry got out of his seat, talking as he moved. “Hey, you know what? I think I'm going to Dunkins and get myself that coffee.” Without another word he walked out the door, never once turning around. He would forever deny the pain he felt when he didn’t hear Ryan call out to him to try and stop him.
Henry didn’t want to go back home after that so he went up to the hospital to sit with his father, turning off his phone once he was there. They would still have family dinner that night, so he would just go from the hospital to his parents and wouldn’t need to turn the phone on because as long as his family could get him, he was good.
~~~~~
“What’s up with him?” Kev asked after Henry made his hasty retreat. Ryan wasn’t naive enough to believe that Henry was coming back.
“Nothing man, forget about it.”
“He coming back?”
“I doubt it.” Ryan replied. He tried tone down the disappoint that had to be evident in his voice. “It’s … whatever.” But it wasn’t
whatever
. He should have known better. When he had talked to Cole a week ago they had started to plan for the guys to come down, Ryan had been excited to see them. He didn’t think too much about having his friends here and Henry around at the same time. He was scared about how clingy he was feeling in regards to Henry. Ryan thought getting some friends to come hang out would help with that.
When they said they wanted to come down he thought it was a great idea. He had missed them and was glad they were here. But he hadn’t really thought it through, they weren’t good for his pseudo-sobriety and now he knew he had royally fucked up.
“Hey, Ry why don’t you come back with us for a few days?”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on it’ll be great, Cole’s birthday is Tuesday. We can go celebrate. You can stay with me and Ian.”
Ryan wanted to go, but there was something niggling at the back of his mind. He wasn’t sure it was the best decision but he couldn’t say for sure why. He would have to blow off an appointment with his counselor and therapy, that wouldn’t go over well with his parents. Maybe he could find a few meetings to attend while he was in New York.
“Maybe. Let me think about it a little more.”
“What’s there to think about? Mr. High and Mighty, just walked out. You have nothing else going on, do you?” Kev, asked sipping his coffee.
“Don’t call him that.” Ryan warned.
“Chill out, Ryan I’m not trying to get in your business or anything but…”
“But what?”
“He’s kind of uptight. Are you that hard up or is it just that good?”
“Shut the fuck Kev, don’t talk about him. You don’t know shit and he’s not uptight.”
“Whoa, relax. Sorry for talking about your boyfriend, Rhianna.” Kev said with a smug grin.
“That’s not funny. He’s not my boy-, “Ryan cut himself off with a shake of his head, “and what did I tell you about calling me Rhianna, asshole!”
“Did someone say Rhianna?” Ian grumbled from the couch.
“No!”
“Yes! Ryan is going to do his Rude Boy dance for us. Come on Rhi-Rhi, get up here on the counter and do your thang, girl.” Kev laughed.
“That’s not going to fucking happen.”
They all started laughing and it wasn’t long before Cole had joined them.
“See, there’s the Ryan we know and love. No moping, come back with us and we’ll plan something epic for Cole’s birthday.”
“Wait, you’re going to come to the city? You’ll be there for my birthday?” Cole asked hopefully.
Ryan looked at Cole and smiled. Then to the others, “Fuck it. Yeah, I’m coming.”
Maybe this was what he needed. If he got too attached to Henry, it would make it that much harder to say goodbye. He needed a reminder of his old life. Plus, if he were being honest with himself he was a little pissed off that Henry had walked out on him again. He didn’t want the guys to know how upset he was about that. He could be pissed at Henry all he wanted but if they started talking smack, there was going to be a problem.
~~~~~
Henry followed through with his revised plan for the day. That night he lingered at his mother’s which got him some curious looks from her.
“Everything okay, kiddo?”
“Yeah Ma, why?”
“Well, usually you’re gone by now.”
“Ma stop, you make it sound like I hate being here.”
“No, I didn’t say that but you’ve stayed much longer tonight.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Oh shut up, you.”
Henry laughed at that, “I just felt like hanging out with you tonight, okay?”
“It’s always okay. Since you’re hanging out with me tonight why don’t you help me change your father’s bed so it will be fresh for him when he comes home?”
“Deal.”
They stripped Pat Senior’s bed, sprayed it with freshener, made it back up and then cleaned the room from top to bottom. It was a little uncomfortable being in there cleaning with his Pop not there as if…