In the Flesh (20 page)

  'I'm blind, not deaf,' Goldberg told Klein, still perusing the cards. When he eventually looked up it was to squint at Vanessa. 'I told them it would end badly . . .' he said softly, and Vanessa knew that beneath this show of fatalism he felt the loss of his companions acutely.'. . . I said from the beginning, we were here to stay. No use to escape.' He shrugged, and returned to the cards. 'What's to escape to? The world's changed. I know. We changed it.'

  'It wasn't so bad,' Vanessa said.

'The world?'

They way they died.'

  'Ah.'

  'We were enjoying ourselves, until the last minute.'

  'Gomm was such a sentimentalist,' Goldberg said. 'We never much liked each other.'

  A large frog jumped into Vanessa's path. The movement caught Goldberg's eye.

  'Who is it?' he said.

  The creature regarded Vanessa's foot balefully. 'Just a frog,' she replied.

  'What does it look like?'

  'It's fat,' she said. 'With three red dots on its back.'

  'That's Israel,' he told her. 'Don't tread on him.'

  'Could we have some decisions by noon?' Klein butted in. 'Particularly the Gulf situation, and the

Mexican dispute, and -'

  'Yes, yes, yes,' said Goldberg. 'Now go away.'

' - We could have another Bay of Pigs -'

  'You're telling me nothing I don't know. Go! You're disturbing the nations.' He peered at Vanessa.

'Well, are you going to sit down or not?'

  She sat.

  'I'll leave you to it.' Klein said, and retreated.

  Goldberg had begun to make a sound in his throat - 'kek-kek-kek' -imitating the voice of a frog. In response, there came a croaking from every corner of the courtyard. Hearing the sound, Vanessa stifled a smile. Farce, she had told herself once before, had to be played with a straight face, as though you believed every outrageous word. Only tragedy demanded laughter; and that, with the aid of the frogs, they might yet prevent.

In The Flesh

  When Cleveland Smith returned to his cell after the interview with the Landing Officer, his new bunk mate was already in residence, staring at the dust-infested sunlight through the reinforced glass window. It was a short display; for less than half an hour each afternoon (clouds permitting) the sun found its way between the wall and the administration building and edged its way along the side of B Wing, not to appear again until the following day.

  'You're Tait?' Cleve said.

  The prisoner looked away from the sun. Mayflower had said the new boy was twenty-two, but Tait looked five years younger. He had the face of a lost dog. An ugly dog, at that; a dog left by its owners to play in traffic. Eyes too skinned, mouth too soft, arms too slender: a born victim. Cleve was irritated to have been lumbered with the boy. Tait was dead weight, and he had no energies to expend on the boy's protection, despite Mayflower's pep-talk about extending a welcoming hand.

  'Yes,' the dog replied. 'William.'

  'People call you William?'

  'No,' the boy said. 'They call me Billy.'

  'Billy.' Cleve nodded, and stepped into the cell. The regime at Pentonville was relatively enlightened; cells were left open for two hours in the mornings, and often two in the afternoon, allowing the cons some freedom of movement. The arrangement had its disadvantages, however, which was where Mayflower's talk came in.

  'I've been told to give you some advice.'

  'Oh?' the boy replied.

  'You've not done time before?'

  'No.'

  'Not even borstal?'

Tait's eyes flickered. 'A little.'

  'So you know what the score is. You know you're easy meat.'

  'Sure.'

  'Seems I've been volunteered,' Cleve said without appetite, 'to keep you from getting mauled.'

Tait stared at Cleve with eyes the blue of which was milky, as though the sun was still in them. 'Don't put yourself out,' the boy said. 'You don't owe me anything.'

  'Damn right I don't. But it seems I got a social responsibility.' Cleve said sourly. 'And you're it.'

  Cleve was two months into his sentence for handling marijuana; his third visit to Pentonville. At thirty years of age he was far from obsolete. His body was solid, his face lean and refined; in his court suit he could have passed for a lawyer at ten yards. A little closer, and the viewer might catch the scar on his neck, the result of an attack by a penniless addict, and a certain wariness in his gait, as if with every step forward he was keeping the option of a speedy retreat.

  You're still a young man, the last judge had told him, you still have time to change your spots. He hadn't disagreed out loud, but Cleve knew in his heart he was a leopard born and bred. Crime was easy, work was not. Until somebody proved otherwise he would do what he did best, and take the consequences if caught. Doing time wasn't so unpalatable, if you had the right attitude to it. The food was edible, the company select; as long as he had something to keep his mind occupied he was content enough. At present he was reading about sin. Now there was a subject. In his time he'd heard so many explanations of how it had come into the world; from probation officers and lawyers and priests. Theories

sociological, theological, ideological. Some were worthy of a few minutes' consideration. Most were so absurd (sin from the womb; sin from the state) he laughed in their apologists' faces. None held water for long.

  It was a good bone to chew over, though. He needed a problem to occupy the days. And nights; he slept badly in prison. It wasn't his guilt that kept him awake, but that of others. He was, after all, just a hash-pusher, supplying wherever there was a demand: a minor cog in the consumerist machine; he had nothing to feel guilty about. But there were others here, many others it seemed, whose dreams were not so benevolent, nor nights so peaceful. They would cry, they would complain; they would curse judges local and celestial. Their din would have kept the dead awake.

  'Is it always like this?' Billy asked Cleve after a week or so. A new inmate was making a ruckus down the landing: one moment tears, the next obscenities.

  'Yes. Most of the time,' said Cleve. 'Some of them need to yell a bit. It keeps their minds from curdling.'

  'Not you,' observed the unmusical voice from the bunk below, 'you just read your books and keep out of harm's way. I've watched you. It doesn't bother you, does it?'

  'I can live with it,' Cleve replied. 'I got no wife to come here every week and remind me what I'm missing.'

'You been in before?'

Twice.'

  The boy hesitated an instant before saying, 'I suppose you know your way around the place, do you?'

  'Well, I'm not writing a guidebook, but I got the general lay-out by now.' It seemed an odd comment for the boy to make. 'Why?'

  'I just wondered,' said Billy.

  'You got a question?'

Tait didn't answer for several seconds, then said: 'I heard they used to ... used to hang people here.'

  Whatever Cleve had been expecting the boy to come out with, that wasn't it. But then he had decided several days back that Billy Tait was a strange one. Sly, side-long glances from those milky-blue eyes; a way he had of staring at the wall or at the window like a detective at a murder-scene, desperate for clues.

  Cleve said, 'There used to be a hanging shed, I think.'

  Again, silence; and then another enquiry, dropped as lightly as the boy could contrive. 'Is it still standing?'

'The shed? I don't know. They don't hang people any more, Billy, or hadn't you heard?' There was no reply from below. 'What's it to you, anyhow?'

'Just curious.'

  Billy was right; curious he was. So odd, with his vacant stares and his solitary manner, that most of the men kept clear of him. Only Lowell took any interest in him, and his motives for that were unequivocal.

  'You want to lend me your lady for the afternoon?' he asked Cleve while they waited in line for breakfast. Tait, who stood within earshot, said nothing; neither did Cleve.

  'You hear me? I asked you a question.'

  'I heard. You leave him alone.'

  'Share and share alike,' Lowell said. 'I can do you some favours. We can work something out.'

  'He's not available.'

  'Well, why don't I ask him?' Lowell said, grinning through his beard. 'What do you say, baby?'

Tait looked round at Lowell.

  'I say no thank you.'

  'No thank you,' Lowell said, and gave Cleve a second smile, this quite without humour. 'You've got him well trained. Does he sit up and beg, too?'

  Take a walk, Lowell,' Cleve replied. 'He's not available and that's all there is to it.'

  "You can't keep your eyes on him every minute of the day,' Lowell pointed out. 'Sooner or later he's going to have to stand on his own two feet. Unless he's better kneeling.'

  The innuendo won a guffaw from Lowell's cell-mate, Nayler. Neither were men Cleve would have willingly faced in a free-for-all, but his skills as a bluffer were honed razor-sharp, and he used them now.

  'You don't want to trouble yourself,' he told Lowell, 'you can only cover so many scars with a beard.'

  Lowell looked at Cleve, all humour fled. He clearly couldn't distinguish the truth from bluff, and equally clearly wasn't willing to put his neck on the line.

  'Just don't look the other way.' he said, and said no more.

  The encounter at breakfast wasn't mentioned until that night, when the lights had been extinguished. It was Billy who brought it up.

  'You shouldn't have done that,' he said. 'Lowell's a bad bastard. I've heard the talk.'

  'You want to get raped then, do you?'

  'No,' he said quickly, 'Christ no. I got to be fit.'

  'You'll be fit for nothing if Lowell gets his hands on you.'

  Billy slipped out from his bunk and stood in the middle of the cell, barely visible in the gloom. 'I

suppose you want something in return,' he said.

  Cleve turned on his pillow and looked at the uncertain silhouette standing a yard from him. 'What have you got that I'd want, Billy-Boy?' he said.

  'What Lowell wanted.'

  'Is that what you think that bluster was all about? Me staking my claim?'

'Yeah.'

'Like you said: no thank you.' Cleve rolled over again to face the wall.

  'I didn't mean -'

  'I don't care what you meant. I just don't want to hear about it, all right? You stay out of Lowell's way, and don't give me shit.'

  'Hey,' Billy murmured, 'don't get like that, please. Please. You're the only friend I've got.'

  'I'm nobody's friend,' Cleve said to the wall. 'I just don't want any inconvenience. Understand me?'

  'No inconvenience,' the boy repeated, dull-tongued.

'Right. Now ... I need my beauty sleep.'

Tait said no more, but returned to the bottom bunk, and lay down, the springs creaking as he did so. Cleve lay in silence, turning the exchange over in his head. He had no wish to lay hands on the boy; but perhaps he had made his point too harshly. Well, it was done.

  From below he could hear Billy murmuring to himself, almost inaudibly. He strained to eavesdrop on what the boy was saying. It took several seconds of ear-pricking attention before Cleve realized that Billy-Boy was saying his prayers.

  Cleve dreamt that night. What of, he couldn't remember in the morning, though as he showered and shaved tantalizing grains of the dream sifted through his head. Scarcely ten minutes went by that morning without something - salt overturned on the breakfast table, or the sound of shouts in the exercise yard - promising to break his dream: but the revelation did not come. It left him uncharacteristically edgy and short-tempered. When Wesley, a small-time forger whom he knew from his previous vacation here, approached him in the library and started to talk as though they were bosom pals, Cleve told the runt to shut up. But Wesley insisted on speaking.

  'You got trouble. '

  'Oh. How so?'

'That boy of yours. Billy. '

  'What about him?'

  'He's asking questions. He's getting pushy. People don't like it. They're saying you should take him in hand.'

  'I'm not his keeper.'

  Wesley pulled a face. 'I'm telling you; as a friend.'

  'Spare me.'

  'Don't be stupid, Cleveland. You're making enemies.'

  'Oh?' said Cleve. 'Name one.'

  'Lowell,' Wesley said, quick as a flash. 'Nayler for another. All kinds of people. They don't like the way Tait is.'

  'And how is he?' Cleve snapped back.

  Wesley made a small grunt of protest. 'I'm just trying to tell you,' he said. 'He's sly. Like a fucking rat. There'll be trouble.'

  'Spare me the prophecies.'

  The law of averages demands the worst prophet be right some of the time: this was Wesley's moment it seemed. The day after, coming back from the Workshop where he'd exercised his intellect putting wheels on plastic cars, Cleve found Mayflower waiting for him on the landing.

  'I asked you to look after William Tait, Smith,' the officer said. 'Don't you give a damn?'

  'What's happened?'

  'No, I suppose you don't.'

  'I asked what happened. Sir.'

'Nothing much. Not this time. He's banged about, that's all. Seems Lowell has a hankering after him. Am I right?' Mayflower peered at Cleve, and when he got no response went on: 'I made an error with you, Smith. I thought there was something worth appealing to under the hard man. My mistake.'

  Billy was lying on the bunk, his face bruised, his eyes closed. He didn't open them when Cleve came in.

'You OK?'

  'Sure,' the boy said softly.

  'No bones broken?'

  'I'll survive.'

  'You've got to understand -'

  'Listen.' Billy opened his eyes. The pupils had darkened somehow, or that was the trick the light performed with them. 'I'm alive, OK? I'm not an idiot you know. I knew what I was letting myself in for, coming here.' He spoke as if he'd had a choice in the matter. 'I can take Lowell,' he went on, 'so don't fret.' He paused, then said: 'You were right.'