Authors: Jo Davis
He saw them out and then cleaned up the house some. Nothing heavy, just made sure the drops of blood were off the kitchen floor and the bathroom was spotless. He didn't give a crap if experts had already scrubbed his showerâfuck that, he was doing it again. With gloves. Which he promptly tossed in the garbage afterward.
Next he considered whether he should stay at Robyn's house another night or come on home. He didn't want to impose and, after their conversation at breakfast, wasn't sure staying with her was the right thing to do. She wasn't ready to commit. And frankly, his staying there reeked a bit of desperation. He didn't want to force her into a relationship.
Decided, he remained at home. He still had a few things in her guest bedroom, but he could get those later. There was nothing he couldn't live without. Flopping on the sofa, he intended to watch TV but ended up falling asleep. He awoke sometime later to an afternoon talk show blaring, and he switched it off, sitting up.
First, he made an appointment with a reputable alarm company for the following day. That done, he glanced at the clock on the DVD player and saw it was almost three in the afternoon. He needed to get to the store and replace some food and, yeah, the shampoo and body wash. He'd never look at them the same way again.
Slipping on his shoes, he grabbed his wallet and keys,
then headed out. The tech team hadn't been by with his stuff, but he wouldn't be gone long. He drove to the store and roamed the aisles, stocking up on food, coffee, milk, and toiletries. His phone buzzed in his pocket as he was heading up the aisle to check out, and he stopped and checked the display.
“Hi there,” he said to Robyn. “Are you on break?”
“No, I picked up Maddy from school and came home early. Where are you?” she asked, voice tinged with concern.
Suddenly feeling awkward about explaining, he was glad she couldn't see him. “Oh, I went home and took care of some things. Tonio and the captain stopped by, too. They had news about the tests on my household items.”
“What did they find?”
“The poison was in my shampoo and body wash.” He grimaced. “Guess what I'm at the store buying?”
“That's diabolical,” she said breathlessly. “How did he get into your house?”
“I'm not sure. I never detected a break-in and my buddies didn't find an entry point when they were searching. The captain just raked me over the coals for not having an alarm system, so that's going in tomorrow.”
“Good for him. So, are you coming back after you put your groceries away?”
“Well . . .” He faltered, not sure how to refuse, or how much to say about the real reason he shouldn't go back.
“If it's about earlier, I'm sorry.” She sounded sincere, and a bit sad.
He blew out a breath. Hell of a conversation to have in the middle of the grocery store. “It's all right. I guess I just don't want to push so hard that I drive you off. The more I'm around you, the harder it is to take things slow.”
“You're not driving me away,” she insisted. “But I don't want to do the same to you.”
“I don't know what you want, gorgeous. Maybe I should stay away until you figure it out.” That hurt to say out loud. Much more than he'd thought it would.
“No! That's not what I want. At least come to dinner tonight? Maddy asked about you the second we came in and you weren't here resting. She was disappointed.”
“Using the kid to guilt me into dinner? Why, Dr. Lassiter, that's conniving.”
“Did it work?”
He laughed in spite of himself. “Yeah, I suppose. What time?”
“Six thirty?”
“Okay, sure. That sounds good. Anything I should bring? I can pick it up while I'm here at the store.”
“Red wine? I have steaks.”
“Mmm, red meat and wine. Two ways to a man's heart. I'll be there.”
“Great! See you soon.”
Hanging up, he shook his head.
Ford, you're a pussy. Face it now.
A few minutes later, he had picked a good Cabernet. Finished at the store, he checked out and went home. He was tired when he arrived, especially after he put all his stuff away. Damned if he hadn't overdone it today, but he
was too stubborn to cancel his plans. Besides, the girls would be disappointed.
You can't win her by running, either. Man up.
When it was almost time to go, he went to the bedroom and retrieved his gun and holster from the night table drawer. He rarely went anywhere without his weapon, and he'd felt naked the last couple of days. With it securely on his belt, he was nearly human again.
The drive over to Robyn's was short, but he wasn't up to his normal walk. He pulled into her driveway and shut off the Camaro, then went to the front door and knocked. Maddy threw it open and nearly tackled him in her enthusiasm.
“You left!” she accused. “Why didn't you stay?”
He gave her a hug. “I had some things to do, munchkin. But I'm here now to eat with you guys, if that's okay?”
“Uh-huh. Mommy's in the back, with the steaks.”
“Lead the way.”
She took him by the hand and pulled him along, which he thought was cute. He let her drag him through the living room and kitchen and out the patio doors. Robyn was grilling, flipping the steaks. Maddy let go of him and he went to her mother, pulling her in for a hug and brief kiss.
“Those smell wonderful,” he said, gesturing to the meat. “Rib eyes are my favorite.”
“Good. I should have asked how you like them cooked.”
“Medium-rare to medium. But honestly, I'm not picky. If it has four legs, I'll probably eat it.”
Maddy wrinkled her nose. “Eeewww.” With that, she ran back inside.
Robyn chuckled, watching her go. “Kids. They're so funny about food. She doesn't care for steak much, but I talked her into it tonight.”
“What, no lecture about the evils of red meat?” At her pointed stare, he held up his hands. “Just kidding.”
“I can hardly lecture if it was my idea.” She gave one a good poke. “I think they're ready.”
“Here, let me.” Taking the pronged grill fork from her, he stabbed the steaks and put them on the platter she had waiting. Then he followed her inside.
“Let's eat in the dining room,” she said, pointing. “We'll have more room than on the small kitchen table.”
He went into the dining room and set the platter on the oak table. Then he returned to the kitchen to see what else she needed help with. Robyn was handing Maddy a large bowl of salad.
“Can she get that?” His first instinct was to take over, but he was shot down.
“It's not heavy,” Maddy said, frowning at him. “I can do it.”
“Okay, sprite. Sorry.”
After she disappeared, Robyn grinned at him.
“She's at the stage where kids want to do everything by themselves,” she told him, opening the oven. Using a mitt, she started gathering foil-wrapped potatoes and put those in a bowl. “She wants to be independent, so I have to give her tasks she can complete. The salad bowl is a bit big, but it's plastic. If she drops it, nothing will be hurt but the salad.”
“Good thinking.”
“I've had some practice.”
“So, I won't try to take over and do things for her. Got it.”
“She
will
try to get you to do her math, though. Don't fall for it.”
Once the table was set, they dove into dinner. Robyn served, dishing up a steak and potato for them, then putting salad in their bowls.
“Can you moosh my potato? It's hot.”
He looked at Maddy's earnest face and melted. Never in his life had he
mooshed
a child's potatoâor had taken care of a kid in that way at all, come to think of it. As he squeezed the potato open for her, adding butter, he was pleased that Maddy didn't want to do quite
everything
for herself. It was nice to take care of something for her.
“This is delicious,” he said. He closed his eyes in bliss as he chewed his steak.
“I'm so glad you like it.”
“Are you kidding? This is so tender and juicy, I'm in heaven.”
They ate and he listened to them talk about their day, Maddy interjecting a million questions. A normal thing for a child her age, and he didn't mind. The chatter was happy, and he was, too. He tried to tell himself not to get used to it. Not to fall for them both, but it was hard.
He was afraid it was already too late.
“Is that a real gun?”
Maddy's question surprised him, though it shouldn't have. He knew she'd get around to asking eventually.
Nodding, he answered, “Yes. It's real. Do you know what to do if you ever see this gun, or any other one, lying on the table or anywhere?”
She thought about that. “Don't touch it.”
“Exactly. That's very smart,” he praised, and she sat up straighter. “I'm used to keeping it beside my bed at home, because I live alone. But since we're spending time together, I'm probably going to get a lockbox for it, to put the gun inside when I take it off.”
“Okay. Even if it's not in the box, I won't pick it up.”
“Good girl.” The image of the gun in her small hands accidentally going off filled him with horror. He shook it off and silently vowed to buy a box tomorrow. First thing.
Whether he and Robyn stayed together, it suddenly sounded like a good practice. Being a bachelor, he'd never given it much thought. At home he had the big safe in the closet, but the box could be moved around.
They finished their meal and he helped Robyn clean up. Then Maddy skipped off to her room, claiming she had no homework. He wondered if that was true and chuckled. If he got his wish, he'd learn all sorts of things about kids.
If not Maddy, then his child someday. Maybe he could have both?
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
He smiled. “Nothing.”
After they were done, he went with her into the living room to curl up on the sofa, listen to music, and talk. Domestic, sure. Some of his bachelor friends would give
him a hard time, but he didn't care. They were just jealous if they made fun.
At eight, Robyn went to run Maddy's bath and he sat listening to the sounds of them talking, the little girl giggling. He also found his gaze straying toward the pictures of Greg, and resenting them. A ghost stood in the way of his moving forward with Robyn. As much as the man's death had hurt herâand had no doubt been terrible to live throughâChris wanted her to himself. If that made him a selfish bastard, so be it.
“Hey,” a soft voice said. Robyn joined him again, touching his face. “I keep meaning to take those down and move them to Maddy's room for her to have. I just haven't done it yet. I don't really
see
those pictures most of the time.”
Until then, he hadn't realized he'd been scowling at the photos. He shrugged, not trusting himself to say something that would upset her. “It's none of my business.”
“I don't want you to feel that way. That's not how
I
feel.”
“I don't know how to respond,” he said truthfully. “I want to be a part of your life, and that means trust all around. I'm not sure you trust me.”
“I want to,” she said softly. “The past is sometimes hard to shake.”
“Let me help you, baby.”
“Give me time. Please.”
Aching inside, he nodded and stood. “I can do that. Not forever, but for a while.”
“Where are you going? You're not leaving?”
“I need to go. I've got the alarm company coming in the morning and things to do. Walk me out?” It was an excuse and he knew it. But he needed to lick his wounds in private. “And you'll be safe here. If you need me, call and I'll be here right away.”
“Okay.” She sounded disappointed.
Taking her hand, he walked outside. On the porch, he framed her face in both hands and covered her mouth with his. Slipped his tongue inside and licked, tasting. He inhaled her sweet scent and tried not to think about losing her. His erection pushed insistently against its confines but he didn't give in to his body's demand. This didn't feel like the right time for sex.
Stepping back, he kissed her forehead. “I'll talk to you tomorrow.”
“All right. Good night, Chris.”
“Sleep tight.”
It was so hard to leave. Got harder all the damned time, every second. He pulled out of the driveway and was back at his own house in minutes, but the short distance between them seemed like the Gulf of Mexico.
As he stepped from his car, he was lost in thoughts of their evening. Which was why he almost missed the shadowy figure that ducked behind a bush on the side of the house.
Every cell in his body fired in alarm, and his hand went to his side, unclipping the strap on his gun. He set out in a jog, determined to catch the bastard and find out if it was the same fucker who'd poisoned him.
The prowler either heard or saw him coming, and bolted from his hiding place. He took off running, not caring about Chris's shout.
“Freeze! Police!”
Yeah, that never worked except in movies. The asshole put on more speed, crossing the alley and ducking between two houses. Chris palmed his gun and ran as fast as he could. But being knocked on his ass with the poisoning, and being fresh from the hospital, had taken its toll. He pursued for three blocks before the suspect finally ditched him, and he came to a stop. Leaning over, he braced his hands on his knees and wheezed as though he was about to have that heart attack he'd narrowly avoided before.
As he straightened, a wave of dizziness almost overcame him. He took two steps in the direction of home and knew his body was done. He'd finally pushed too far for one day.
With a shaking hand, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and considered who to call for a ride. Robyn was outâhe didn't want her to wake Maddy. He tried Tonio, but the call went to voice mail. He didn't leave a message. Shane and Daisy's place wasn't really close by, and he hated to drag them out of the house to carry him three blocks. He could call the station and have dispatch send the nearest squad car. But the thought of the guys knowing he was in such bad shape he couldn't walk home?