Impulse: Southern Arcana, Book 5 (7 page)

The fact that he hadn’t laughed at her eased some internal tension. Sera relaxed and propped both elbows on the table. “I don’t know why I still go. I guess because it’s peaceful, and it makes my mother happy.”

His gaze sharpened inquisitively, but he only said, “It made mine real happy too.”

She’d have to tell him eventually, because the one thing she wasn’t willing to do was skip a visit to her mother. “After church, I visit her—my mother. She’s at a place outside of town. It’s a sort of…” The words felt like glass in her throat, painful to push out. “A mental institution for supernaturals, I guess.”

His jaw tightened, and he released a long, slow breath. “I’m sorry.”

“She’s been there most of my life,” Sera said quietly. “It’s how things have always been. She’s happy, I think. The priestesses take care of her.”

“Franklin never mentioned it.”

No, he wouldn’t have, she supposed. Not only because he thought he’d failed, but because he’d spent too much time apologizing for moving on. “He can’t visit her. It upsets her too much. But I go every Sunday. I could skip tomorrow, if I had to—”

Julio spoke over her words. “Or I could go with you. If that’s all right.”

She finally lifted her gaze to his face. She hardly ever looked straight at him. She couldn’t, almost as if the unchecked dominance in his eyes sent her sliding away like pushing the wrong ends of two magnets together.

Now he looked careful. Cautious, but his dark brown eyes held a hint of protectiveness that warmed her.

She could drown in him. It would be so easy. So very, very good.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and her lips tingled. Her whole body felt wild with the urge to climb over the table. Or under it. Curl up against him, stroke and touch and kiss. Rub against him until their scents were unmistakably entwined.

She just wanted him.

“You’re welcome.” He stretched his hand across the tabletop, open and waiting.

So dangerous. She held her breath as she settled her hand on top of his, her fingers looking pale and small against his callused palm.

“What time do you attend mass? Eight? Eleven?”

“Nine.” Oh, she was breathless. “Though I have to work late, so maybe eleven’s smarter.”

“Eleven,” he agreed. “Then we’ll get lunch and go see your mom.”

“Okay.” Temptation beckoned, and she gave in, rubbing the pad of her thumb along the side of his index finger. Her skin was too tight, leaving every nerve exposed.

His fingers clenched for a split second before sliding free of hers. “Okay.”

The loss hit her in the gut, too hard and too intense for something so trivial, and the truth settled around her like a judgment.

She was entirely, completely screwed. And she hadn’t even taken her pants off yet.

Chapter Five

Anna had called the concealed-carry paperwork a bitch. Sera was starting to think she’d been too generous. “So I still need to go get fingerprinted, get a passport photo
and
dig up the paperwork from my divorce?”

Jackson finished signing her training form with a flourish. “You can go to McNeely’s station house for the printing. He’ll take care of you.”

Sera reached across the receptionist’s desk for a Post-it note and scribbled down that instruction. The desk was neater than she’d ever seen it, with most of the knickknacks stacked to one side. Holt and Jacobson Investigations was down one partner and one assistant with Kat and Alec out of town, which made the office seem lonely.

It made Jackson look a little worn around the edges too, though Sera supposed fatherhood could be partly to blame for that. “Any luck finding someone to replace Kat?”

The corner of his mouth ticked up. “I hired a part-timer, but I think we both know there’s no replacing Kat.”

“No, I suppose not.” Sera added
passport photo
and
call about divorce paperwork
to her list of tasks. “She texted me this morning. They’re on their way back up to Wyoming soon. I think Kat’s planning to stay there until Nicole has her baby, even if it could still be a few months.”

“Not surprised. Kat’s crazy about that kid already.”

“She really is.” Whatever reservations Kat had about having kids of her own clearly didn’t extend to playing enthusiastic aunt to her cousin’s offspring. Derek and Nicole’s baby was going to have a baker’s dozen of doting aunts and uncles, assuming any of them could get past Derek in overprotective daddy mode.

A baby. Sometimes Sera wanted one so much it hurt, and she couldn’t even pretend it was all the coyote, though the coyote was the reason she couldn’t think about it. Each generation seemed destined to suffer more than the last, and she would
not
do that to a child.

Though if the father wasn’t a coyote…

She trampled the thought before it could finish forming and swiftly changed the subject. “Speaking of adorable kids and the people who are crazy about them, how’s Cody doing?”

A sudden smile chased the exhaustion from his features. “Eight going on eighteen. I don’t know how Mackenzie’s going to handle the next ten years without going nuts.”

Mackenzie knew all about being valued only for her ability to save her species from extinction. Faced with the choice between the cougar she didn’t love and the human she did, she’d chosen love. And then she’d chosen to adopt a young wolf who needed a family.

Josh would probably call her a freak, too. Sera could think of worse company to be in. “She brought him around to Dixie John’s a couple weeks ago. He knows how to melt every adult woman in a ten-mile radius already. The servers were fighting over who got to give him milkshakes and cookies.”

Jackson groaned. “Lord help us.”

“He’s your kid all right,” Sera pointed out, trying not to laugh. “Do you think I’ll get to see him before Julio picks me up?”

He checked his watch. “They should be here in a few minutes.”

Sera picked up a pen and hesitated with the tip hovering over the top form. “Can I ask you something kind of personal? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”

“Shoot.”

She tried to think of a way to ask the question that wouldn’t make her own inner turmoil painfully transparent, but Jackson wasn’t just a detective with a keen understanding of human nature. He was the man who’d had to heal her face after Josh had smashed it in. He was the man married to a woman who’d fought her own battle against the coming death of her species.

He’d know. But she didn’t think he’d tell anyone else. “Is it hard? Raising a wolf when you’re…not one?”

“Yes,” he answered seriously. “But I don’t know that it would be easier if I were a wolf. Being a parent is supposed to be hard, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” She filled out her name in carefully formed letters. Seraphina Agatha Irene Sinclaire. Her mother had named her for three different saints, and had raged when none of them proved worthy protection. “I guess for some of us, it’s worrying about the line between hard and tragic.”

“I think that line is unique to individuals, darlin’, and not always something you can see coming.”

“You’re probably right.” Sera made herself smile. “Hey, maybe the line’s not as thin as it used to be. Things are looking up around here, right?”

“They are,” he agreed. “Lots of changes, and plenty more on the way.”

Sera caught a whisper of Mackenzie’s voice at the edge of her hearing, still muffled by the wall but familiar enough to be recognizable. She capped the pen and swept all of her papers into a neat stack topped by a bright pink Post-it. “I think I hear Mac.”

Jackson didn’t quite jump out of his chair, but he did push it back and rise as the door opened with a jingle. Cody walked in first, his features schooled in a mask of concentration. “Ask me another one.”

“All right, smart guy.” Mackenzie grinned at Sera over Cody’s head. “Six times eight.”

“Forty-eight.” He didn’t wait for confirmation that he was correct, just whooped and stomped over to Jackson’s desk. “I’m practicing my times tables.”

“So I hear.” He ruffled Cody’s hair. “Good job.”

“Thanks.” The boy leaned on the desk for a moment before easing past Jackson to crawl into his desk chair. “Hey, Sera.”

“Hey, Cody.” He had dark hair and serious eyes, along with a tough little alpha shell that made her wonder what Julio had been like as a boy. “I think you’re better at math than I am already.”

His nose wrinkled. “But you’re a grown-up.”

Maybe this was too early for a stay-in-school lecture. Sera wrinkled her nose back at him. “Some grown-ups aren’t good at math. My favorite subjects were science and history.”

“I like P.E. I’m the fastest runner in the class—” He bit off the words with an apprehensive look at Mackenzie. “But I don’t run
too
fast, I promise.”

“I know you don’t, honey.” Mackenzie perched on the edge of the desk and smoothed a strand of Cody’s hair back before smiling at Sera. “How’re you doing, Sera? I heard you had some trouble the other night.”

Mackenzie’s concern pressed in on her, different than the dominant power that flowed from the wolves but every bit as real. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to put a little push behind the words. “Everyone’s got it under control.”

For a few seconds the older woman studied her, and the concern tipped over the edge. Not only pressing, but smothering. So well-meaning, but Sera couldn’t help the way it made her feel smaller.

In that heartbeat, Sera wanted to run away.

The moment broke. Mackenzie rose to her feet and kissed Cody’s head. “I gotta run. I’ll see you at home in a couple hours, okay?”

He nodded. “Can we have pizza tonight?”

“How about homemade pizza?”

“Pepperoni?” he asked hopefully.

“The kind we slice ourselves,” Jackson promised. “C’mon, kiddo. Mom’s got to go.”

Cody slid his arms around Mackenzie’s waist in a quick squeeze. “Bye.”

It was a sweet moment. Two parents and their child, negotiating over pizza. No sign that one cast spells and the other two should have been enemies in the supernatural world.

And now Sera had to go back to Julio’s apartment with his grown-up dishes and his warm, quiet safety and pretend she wasn’t imagining a life there with him and an adorable baby wolf with Julio’s dark eyes.

The institution looked more like a wilderness retreat than a hospital or temple. Julio sat on a stone bench outside a side door at one end of the sprawling building and toyed with a yellow poplar leaf while he waited for Sera.

But she wasn’t the first person to push through the exit. Callum appeared, his usual suit jacket discarded in favor of a crisp button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He veered toward Julio, an almost foreign smile on his lips. “Sera told me you were here. It was nice of you to bring her.”

He talked about it the same way Sera did, as if he’d done her a favor. “She shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“These visits can be hard on her.” The empath leaned one shoulder against the wall and tilted his head toward the building. “But Kelly’s been having a good week, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Is there something else going on?”

Callum didn’t run with anyone in Alec’s inner circle, so there was no reason he should have heard. “Josh showed up the other night. I guess he doesn’t like the
ex
part of ex-husband.”

“I see.” A crack appeared in Callum’s civilized demeanor, a vicious, predatory gleam in his eyes. “I assume someone is taking care of the situation?”

Another reminder that the empath before him was different from Julio’s sister or Kat. A realist. “I’d have ripped the bastard’s head off already—if I could have. I sent Anna after him to make sure he goes home. If not…” Julio shrugged.

Callum’s lips tightened. “The situation is more complicated than you might realize. But there’s not much I can say about—”

An enraged female shriek cut through the air and ended on a howl. Callum whirled and lunged for the door, but Julio caught it first, yanking it open with an alarming creak.

Sera stood at the other end of the hall, both hands extended toward a snarling coyote. “I’m fine. I’m fine, there’s no one—”

Another howl rose over her words, and the coyote turned and bared her teeth at Julio, her paws scratching over the hardwood floor as she prepared herself to pounce.

Fighting with Sera’s mother wasn’t an option, so he froze and backed against the wall. “What’s wrong with her?”

Sera looked too stricken to reply, her expression caught between guilt and misery. It was Callum who strode forward, one hand outstretched. “Kelly, be calm.”

The coyote shuddered and slumped to the floor all at once, like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Sera scrambled to her knees, smoothing her mother’s ruffled fur as frantic words fell from her lips in an incoherent jumble. Julio only caught a few. Mostly
I’m sorry
and
I’m safe
.

Callum lowered his hand. “Sera, you have to let us tend to her. She won’t calm down while you’re here, you know that.”

Sera flinched under the blunt words, but eased away and rose carefully. She didn’t meet Julio’s eyes as she walked toward him, moving like every step hurt. “Take care of her,” Sera whispered, then darted past Julio, shoving through the door and out into the sunlight.

Julio had to chase her. “Sera, wait.
Sera!
” He caught her arm, careful not to jerk her to a halt.

She was gasping for breath, dragging in deep lungfuls of air, as if she couldn’t get enough. “I’m so stupid. I know better, I know better.”

“Better than what?” He drew her closer. “What set her off?”

Sera shook her head so hard her hair whipped against his face, tousled red strands wrapping their floral scent around him. “Can we run?” she asked, her voice plaintive and shaking. “I need to run. I can’t be in my skin anymore.”

They couldn’t have built a place like this without safe space for such things. Julio nodded and peeled off his jacket. “Do you know where?”

She kicked off her sandals with such force that one tumbled into a nearby flowerbed. “There’s a path behind the fountain.” Her cheeks were flushed, her movements jerky and uncoordinated as she stripped off her T-shirt to reveal a pastel-green bra edged with ruffles and lace. “Lots of land to run.”