Impossible Girl (Sexy Nerd Boys #2.5) (10 page)

I’m elbows deep in play-doh helping Maya make every animal she can think of, while Dex sits back and watches the two of us.

“Are you going to have Thanksgiving with us?” Maya asks.

“Uh…” I look to Dex, unsure how I should answer. I haven’t exactly been invited.

“Sorry darlin’, I would’ve invited you sooner, I thought the invite was implied. Of course we’d love to have you for Thanksgiving.”

“I’m not sure, I usually spend thanksgiving with Nikki. And, I’m sure she’s got a thing with Lee, Ethan, and Abby. I’d feel weird having a holiday without her.”

“Hey ma,” Dex calls out. His mom pops her head into the living room. “How would you feel about a full house for Thanksgiving?”

Her face lights up.

“I’d love it. Just tell me how many we’re expecting so I can make sure to cook enough food.”

“Problem solved, you’re coming for Thanksgiving.”

With a pleasantly full stomach and both of my favorite girls within arm’s reach I can honestly say that this has been the best Thanksgiving ever. Asher and Eve showed up together (no surprise there) and announced they’re officially dating (finally). The whole day has been full of food and family.

As everyone digs into my mom’s famous pumpkin pie, there’s a knock on the door. My mom gets up to answer it and several seconds later I hear her surprised gasp.

“Chelsea?”

I feel Remy stiffen beside me and I can feel my face contort in confusion. Chelsea? I haven’t even heard from her in a year, and we never had the type of relationship that would’ve made it normal for her to show up here unannounced. My mom returns to the living room with Chelsea in tow and my mouth falls open.

I almost don’t recognize the woman standing in front of me. The last time I’d seen Chelsea had been when she’d left for college almost four years ago. She’d been a vivacious girl, bubbly, always taking pride in having her hair and makeup done perfectly. This woman standing before me is bedraggled, her skin is waxy, and she looks sick she’s so thin. When she spots Maya, she crouches down and attempts to greet her.

“My baby,” she coos.

Maya’s eyes go wide and she seeks Remy’s arms for comfort. In spite of the severe awkwardness of this moment, I can’t help but feel a swell of emotions when Maya sought Remy, and Remy opened her arms for her, as naturally as breathing.

“Chelsea, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t I come see my baby on Thanksgiving?” she snaps, her eyes narrowing as Remy cradles Maya to her chest. I open my mouth to tell her that ‘no, she can’t just show up here unannounced and terrify my little girl. And, she should at least call first’. But, then I realize that this conversation is too much to air in front of everyone, and Maya doesn’t need to hear any more of this.

“Let’s go talk in private for a minute,” I suggest, grabbing her arm and steering her towards the door. As soon as we’re outside, she turns and glares at me.

“What the fuck, Dexter?”

“I don’t understand what you’re doing here. You haven’t so much as asked to see a picture of Maya since the day you left the hospital. Then, all of the sudden you burst in here, looking homeless, terrifying my little girl. So if anyone should be saying ‘what the fuck’, it’s me.” I struggle to keep my voice even. But, all I can think about is my scared little girl and that makes me go all papa bear. Chelsea sniffles and looks up at me like a lost child. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. But, honestly, what are you doing here?”

“I think about her all of the time. I just want to get to know her, please?”

I grit my teeth. In reality I get that she has every right to get to know her daughter. Actually, legally she has no rights to Maya because she signed her parental rights over, but I understand wanting to know your child. Something about her unkempt appearance is making me nervous, though, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s sick or on drugs.

“Is everything okay with you? You really don’t look like yourself.”

She stiffens and glares at me.

“I’m
fine
,” she hisses.

I yank my hands through my hair, trying to decide what to do.

“Alright, you can come with Maya and me to the children’s museum next weekend.”

She nods curtly and turns to stumble away. A sinking feeling in my gut tells me she’s on something. Maybe if I’m lucky she won’t show up to the museum.

Maya snuggles up to me on the couch, still on edge after Chelsea showed up. That woman looked like she was high off her ass on something. I glance towards the door, waiting for Dex to come back in. I hope everything is okay.

When he comes back, his hair is disheveled like he’s been running his hands through it repeatedly, which (knowing his nervous ticks by now) I’m sure he has.

He slides onto the couch beside me and everyone pretends not to be interested in what’s going on.

“Is everything okay?” I whisper.

Dex shrugs, his shoulders tense.

“Hey sweetie, why don’t you go grab your favorite stuffed animals to show everybody,” I suggest to Maya. She smiles and jumps off my lap, racing towards her bedroom. “That was Maya’s mom, I take it?”

“Yeah, she wants to spend time with her.”

“You said she signed over her parental rights though. So, she doesn’t have any rights to see her, right?”

“Yeah, but I feel like maybe I should let her. I don’t know, I want Maya to know her mom if possible.”

“I’m worried. It seems like she might’ve been on something.”

He nods tersely.

“We’ll give it one shot. I told her she could come to the children’s museum next week.”

I lace our fingers together and rub my thumb along the back of his hand to comfort him. It’s obvious he doesn’t like this any more than I do.

“Do you mind if I tag along or will that be weird?”

“Of course I want you to come.” He kisses the top of my head and we drop the subject as Maya returns with an armful of stuffed animals. She proceeds to tell anyone who will listen every animal’s name and their entire backstory.

Maya is having an absolute blast in the play grocery store at the children’s museum. She’s blissfully unaware of the fact that she’s been stood up by her mother. Part of me is glad Chelsea didn’t show, it’s less complicated this way. But, I can’t deny I worry about how it’s going to make Maya feel in a year or two. When she starts school and realizes that other kids have moms, but she doesn’t.

“It’s probably for the best,” Remy assures me, sidling up next to me as we watch Maya play.

“Yeah, I just worry. I guess that kind of comes with the territory.”

“Of course, but Maya’s a happy kid. You’re doing a great job with her.” Remy’s head drops on my shoulder and I let out a long breath. It’s nice to have someone to share this with for a change.

“I don’t want not having a mom to mess her up, you know? I see how much it’s messed you up to not have a dad and I never want her to feel that way.”

Remy tenses and I realize how shitty what I just said was.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right, I’m screwed up.” Her words are tense as she puts a few inches of space between us.

“I only meant that not having your dad around has made you scared of commitment.”

“I’m not scared of commitment. I’m smart enough to know that men leave. Protecting my heart from that is not ‘messed up’, it’s fucking pragmatic.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I turn her to look at me, tilting her chin so she can look into my eyes and see how serious I am. “I am
not
going anywhere.”

She swallows hard and nods. I lean down and plant a gentle peck on her lips before we turn back to watching Maya.

After dropping Maya back off with Dex’s mom, we head back to my apartment. Dex has practically moved in with me, although neither of us mentions it. He sleeps at my place pretty much every night, and I’m certainly not complaining. I never knew what I was missing, sleeping without a pair of strong arms wrapped around me every night until now. It’s nice.

“Let’s order a pizza and snuggle,” Dex suggests. I can’t hold back the giggle that erupts past my lips. “What’s funny?”

“Just surprising to hear a big man like you saying he wants to snuggle.”

“Hell yeah, I want to snuggle with my girl.” He grabs me around the waist and drags me onto his lap on the couch, nuzzling his nose against my neck. “Snuggling with you fucking rocks.”

“I-” I clamp my mouth shut. I
almost
just told him I love him. My heart is pounding in my throat, hoping he doesn’t question what I was about to blurt out. His gaze bores into me, waiting for me to keep talking. When I don’t he jumps in.

“There’s something I want to tell you, but I’m scared,” he says.

“What could possibly scare my sexy cowboy?”

“You.”

“
Me?
” I tilt my head to the side, searching his eyes for answers.

“I’m not scared
of
you. But, of losing you? Hell yeah, that terrifies me.”

My heart melts a little at his words. As though I’m some sort of prize to him, like I’m someone worth wanting to keep.

“You can’t lose me.” I lean forward and brush my lips against his.

His teeth gently graze my bottom lip as we fall into a languid, decadent kiss. Our tongues don’t battle like usual, instead they dance together as we get lost in each other.

“I love you Remy,” Dex murmurs against my lips. I freeze, my heart hammering out of my chest. I didn’t imagine that did I? Dex really told me he loves me? I’m sure I look like a wide mouth bass as I open and close my mouth, trying to form the words. Can I say it back? What if he leaves me? “It’s okay if you’re not ready to say it back darlin’. I just needed you to know. I can’t remember how I lived before you and I don’t ever want to go back to that. You’re the moon and the sun. You and Maya are my life.”

“Oh Dex...that was so corny,” I tease to lighten the mood.

“I know, but I meant it.” He pulls me back to his mouth to continue our kiss, effectively ending our conversation.

“He told you he loves you and you didn’t say anything back?” Nikki gives me her best judgmental eye roll.

“Be nice or I’m going to dump my hot coffee over your head,” I threaten as we sit across the table from each other at the coffee shop on campus. Ever since she moved out and I started dating Dex we haven’t had much time for each other.

“Okay, I’ll be nice. But, you
do
love him, don’t you?”

I let out a long sigh. Can I say it out loud? Will it give him more power to hurt me when he leaves?

“You don’t even have to answer. I can see it in your eyes. You love that man something fierce.”

“What about when he leaves?” I whisper, afraid to even speak my fears.

“What if he stays?” Nikki counters.

I give her a wry smile. She knows as well as I do that men don’t stay.

“Okay, changing the subject...what’s new with you?”

“Not much. I miss you. We never see each other anymore. Oh, we should go to a party together next weekend. It’s been so long since we’ve gotten crazy at a frat party.”

I scrunch my nose up at the idea but Nikki turns on the full pouty face that I’m powerless to resist.

“Fine,” I groan.

“Yay!” she claps her hands and bounces in her seat.

Standing outside Chelsea’s parents’ house I try to talk myself into turning around and going home. I was relieved that she didn’t show up to spend time with Maya, as selfish as that is for me to say. But, I can’t walk away without making sure she’s okay. There’s little doubt she’s a drug addict. Maybe it’s not my problem, but I feel like I need to at least check in on her. I still remember where her parents’ house is. I spent almost nine months over here, helping her through the pregnancy. I’m hoping that if she’s not here, they’ll at least know where I can find her.

I knock tentatively and then wait.

When the door opens, I’m greeted by Chelsea’s mom. She looks like an older version of Chelsea, or at least what Chelsea looked like before. Her eyes widen in surprise.

“Dexter?”

“Yes, ma’am.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, and take a deep breath. “I’m looking for Chelsea, is she here?”

A sadness seems to cloud her eyes as she nods, stepping back to allow me to come in.

“She’s in the living room.”

I nod and turn to start down the hallway, but before I can move a small hand lands on my forearm.

“How is Maya?” she asks, barely above a whisper.

“She’s perfect, best kid on the whole planet. Do you want to see a picture?”

Her eyes light up and she nods. I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, opening it to my picture gallery. The only pictures I have on here are of Maya so I hold it out to her and let her flip through them. A single tear rolls down her cheek as she watches my little girl, her granddaughter, age before her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” I take my phone back and shove it into my pocket.

“I meant, thank you for taking such good care of her.”

“I know.”

She pulls me in for a very motherly hug before waving me in the direction of the living room again.

I find Chelsea asleep on the couch and I hesitate. Maybe this was a mistake. Obviously she’s alive, and she’s with her mother so I’m sure the situation is being handled. I hold my breath for a second, trying to make a decision.

“Dex?” Chelsea asks, blinking away the sleep from her eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” I shift my weight from foot to foot, looking around the room for a good place to sit. I settle on a chair near the head of the couch and ease into it.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, sitting up and blinking several times, like she expects me to evaporate before her eyes.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. When you didn’t show up to meet Maya, I got worried.”

Her brows furrow and she tilts her head to the side.

“At the children’s museum, yesterday…” I trail off as no hint of recognition lights her eyes. “You have no idea what I’m talking about?”

She shakes her head and yawns.

“On Thanksgiving, you showed up to my mom’s house and wanted to see Maya. I told you to meet us at the Children’s museum instead.”

“Thanksgiving? I must’ve been high as a goddamn kite because I don’t remember any of that.”

“What’s going on with you Chels? This shit isn’t you. The girl I knew was an honor roll student, not a junkie. What happened?”

She lets out a humorless laugh.

“Life happened. School was really hard so I started taking some uppers to help me stay awake longer, study harder. Then I figured work hard, play hard.” she shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“What are you on?”

“God Dex, you sound like my parents,” she gripes.

“That’s because your parents care about you and so do I. I know things never really worked out between us romantically, but you gave me Maya and I can never repay you for that. Don’t throw your life away.”

Her expression softens.

“Can I see her?”

“Not like this. You get clean, then feel free to call me and we’ll set something up.”

She nods, a look of determination in her eyes.

“Take care, Chels.” I lean forward and give her a kiss on the cheek before getting up to leave. I’ve done all I can, it’s up to her to figure shit out from here.