Imagined Love

Imagined Love Copyright © 2010 by Diamond Drake.

This book was produced using
PressBooks.com
.

Gary, Indiana 1981

Frantic and beside herself with guilt, Willa Caldwell barreled into the parking lot of Franklin Elementary School then came to a screeching halt. She took a quick look at herself in the rearview mirror before heading to the principal’s office. Once inside, she sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be any problems. Willa had already experienced one of the worst days of her life and wanted nothing more than to get her daughter and go home. Unfortunately, things didn’t quite work out that way.

“Hi, how you doing? I’m Willa Caldwell and I . . .”

“Yeah, I know who you are,” Mrs. Boggs spat. “Principal James will be out to deal with you in a minute. Right now she’s busy with someone who actually cares what happens to your daughter. So go sit down somewhere and wait until she calls you,” the secretary said, dismissing Willa with a wave of her hand.

“Umm, excuse me? Who do you think you talking to?” Willa snapped, still a bit stunned by the woman’s attitude. “In case you’re having trouble seeing, I’m not one of the little kids that go to this school. Something you might wanna keep in mind when you speak to me. Otherwise I’m gonna come behind this counter and show you what happens to people who talk stupid to me!” she threatened, staring angrily at the middle aged woman. “Now that we’ve got that established, you need to bring my daughter in here so we can go. Oh, and you can forget about me sitting around waiting for the principal to come ‘deal’ with me. Y’all need to know that I’m grown and I don’t get dealt with. So bring Jade in here like I said.”

“Well, maybe if you had shown up an hour ago when school dismissed, nobody would have to deal with you,” Mrs. Boggs snapped. She wasn’t the least bit intimidated by Willa’s outburst. “And then you have the nerve to come sashaying up in here in those big sunglasses and all that makeup like you some kind of Hollywood movie star! Meanwhile, your ten-year-old stood outside alone and frightened wondering where you were. And from the looks of it, I’d say you were off getting your hair and nails done! So don’t you dare threaten me, honey, because I’m not the selfish, irresponsible one who forgot about my child . . . that would be you!”

As furious as Willa was she couldn’t really say much in her own defense. She hadn’t been in a beauty salon like the secretary suggested but she had made a very selfish decision that led to her current predicament. Embarrassment and guilt nearly brought Willa to tears. However, she refused to give Mrs. Boggs the satisfaction of seeing her cry and lashed out at the woman instead.

“You know what? I honestly don’t give a damn what you think. As far as I’m concerned all of y’all can kiss my . . .”

“Mrs. Caldwell, please! There are children in here,” Principal James shouted as she exited her private office. She directed Willa’s attention towards two little girls sitting with their mother near the front door.

Willa couldn’t care less about those kids being in there and was about to say so when she spotted her own mother coming out of Ms. James’s office. Oh great, she thought, letting out a long sigh. The last thing Willa needed was another lecture from Dorothea about being a good wife and mother despite the fact that she’d been neither!

“I see you out here acting a fool as usual,” Dorothea said, with a disapproving scowl on her face. “But you look good, Willa Ann. I’m glad to know my grandbaby sitting out on the side of the road somewhere didn’t interfere with your day at the beauty salon. It must be nice not to think about nobody but yourself, huh?”

“You should know. Or is it different when you think more about your men than you do your own child?” Willa sneered, rolling her eyes at her mother.

“Why don’t we all go into my office and sort things out,” Principal James suggested. She sensed things were about to get out of control and tried to run interference.

“There’s nothing to sort out. You need to bring my daughter out here so I can take her home. End of story.”

“Well, not exactly, Mrs. Caldwell,” the principal stated then went on to remind Willa about the recent kidnappings that had taken place in the area. She felt as though Jade’s life had been jeopardized and wanted an explanation for why the girl had been left.

“Oh, stop . . . this is ridiculous!” Willa shouted. “Jade’s been going to this school for five years and I’ve never been late dropping her off or picking her up! I volunteer in her class every week and do all the stuff parents are supposed to do, so don’t stand there looking down your nose at me like I’m this unreliable mother who doesn’t give a damn about my child!”

“Nobody’s saying that, Mrs. Caldwell. I’m merely expressing my concern for your daughter. I know she was very fearful and upset to be left alone and . . .”

“If Jade was upset about anything, it would’ve been because she was worried about me. She’s the only one of you who knows I would never intentionally leave her like that,” Willa began to cry. She grabbed a handful of paper towels from the counter then pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. Upset and completely drained, Willa absent-mindedly wiped off her caked on makeup to reveal a black eye and several cuts and bruises.

“Well, it looks like somebody dealt with you,” Mrs. Boggs remarked, coldly.

“Oh my god, Mrs. Caldwell! What happened to you?” Principal James gasped, as she stared at Willa’s face.

Willa felt completely exposed and vulnerable.

“Look like that smart mouth of yours got you in trouble again,” Dorothea smirked. “So I guess this is your excuse for leaving Jade out there waiting to get snatched by some fool!” she said, pointing at Willa’s face.

“Yeah, Mama, that’s right. Instead of being here to get my baby I chose to be passed out on the kitchen floor with my brains bashed in!”

“Well,” she shrugged, “if you would shut your stupid mouth and do like you supposed to then you wouldn’t have to worry about it, now would you? But you

big, bad Willa. Always gotta get the last word. So I figure you must like having your brains bashed in.”

“Wow,” Willa’s lips quivered, as she tried hard not to cry. “It’s always my fault, isn’t it? Miles being a damn fool who beats me because I won’t let him control me has nothing to do with it, right, Mama? Because according to you, I’m just supposed to sit there and let him talk to me like a dog and accuse me of all kinds of junk, and then have his way with me. Right?” she asked, moving closer to Dorothea. “Well you know what, Mama? I’m not you! I’m not gonna be at the mercy of men who beat and cheat on me because I can’t take care of myself. That’s why I work and make my own money. And I’m sick of you making me feel like it’s something wrong with that. Like it’s something wrong with me for wanting more out of life! I don’t wanna be like you, Mama. And I don’t understand why you would try to make me. I thought parents were supposed to want better for their children. But I guess that’s only when they love them, huh?”

“I guess so,” Dorothea smirked. “But not everybody can be loved. Some people you just tolerate because you have to. Know what I mean?”

Noticeably upset, the lady who’d been sitting in the office with her two kids got up to leave. Ms. James and Mrs. Boggs, however, kept watching the two women as if they were on an episode of All My Children! At one point, the secretary waved a teacher away from the door so he wouldn’t disturb what was happening inside.

“Well, look, I didn’t come up here for this. They called saying somebody needed to get Jade. So if you want me to take her while you get yourself together, I will. Or you can run to the bathroom right quick and put your face back on. You know, spruce up a little bit. Straighten up your diamond necklace and rings. Dust off your new outfit. Then you and Jade can ride off in that new Monte Carlo Miles bought you and go home to y’all big beautiful house in Glen Park.”

“And you think that makes it all okay, don’t you? What’s a few black eyes and busted lips when you can have nice things, right? As long as your beloved son-in-law pays your bills and showers you with wonderful gifts then who gives a damn what I go through. Who cares if I get bloodied and bruised . . .?”

“Oh shut up, Willa! It’s your own fault ’cause you ain’t learned how to keep your smart ass mouth closed! Miles work like a dog so you and Jade don’t want for nothing and all he ask is for you to stay home and take care of your family like you supposed to. If you didn’t want this kind of life then you shouldn’t have been laying up having babies in high school. But you did. So it’s too late to be out there chasing dreams and rainbows. Your sole purpose in life is to take care of your husband and children. That’s what you chose. So you better learn to keep your mouth shut and be grateful you got a man that really love you. He wasn’t like a lot of ‘em who would’ve ran out on you. He stood by your side and broke his back to

take care of you and the baby. And then, after all that, you think he just gone sit back and let you talk to him any old kinda way?” Dorothea asked, incredulously. “You wouldn’t have nothing if it wasn’t for Miles. You oughtta be bending over backwards to make sure that man got everything he need. Everything he need! It’s the least you can do. So keep your ass at home and take care of your own man instead of running around that office catering to some other one for a few little pennies!” Dorothea sneered. “You better get your priorities straight, little girl, or you gone lose the best thing you got.”

Willa just stood there shaking her head in disbelief. “I feel sorry for you, Mama. I really do. But I refuse to let your 1950′s mentality and the fact that you have no self worth continue to influence my life. I’ve wasted a lot of years trying to please you when you’ve made it quite clear that I’ll never be able to. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you hate me so much but I’m sick of trying to figure it out,” Willa said, throwing her hands up in mock surrender. “Miles has done a lot for me but he didn’t buy me like you seem to think. And he doesn’t have a right to put his hands on me just because he doesn’t like what I say. You tolerated that mess because you thought you didn’t have a choice. Well, I do. And that’s why I served that abusive bastard with divorce papers and took my ‘few little pennies’ to get a place of our own for me and Jade. I’ll do everything in my power to show her she can stand on her own two feet and that she never has to settle for being with someone who mistreats her because she can’t take care of herself. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she never becomes you!”

“Well,” Dorothea shrugged, with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “I guess you don’t need me to take Jade then.” She clutched her purse and left the office without another word.

Willa used the rest of the paper towels to wipe away her tears and smeared makeup.

“Mrs. Caldwell, I’m so sorry. I didn’t. . .”

“Where is Jade?” Willa demanded. She wasn’t interested in hearing anything Principal James or anyone else had to say.

“She’s in the gym watching the jamboree rehearsal. I’ll get her,” Mrs. Boggs volunteered. She felt like it was the least she could do for how horribly she had treated Willa.

“Mrs. Caldwell,” Principal James said, gently touching her arm. “I know I’m the last person you want to talk to and I don’t blame you for hating me. Just know that if there is ever anything I can do to help you and Jade, I will.”

“Thanks,” Willa mumbled, wiping at her tears. “I appreciate you saying that, but we’ll be fine. Excuse me.” She headed for the door. “Oh, sorry,” Willa said after bumping into the woman and her two kids. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, girl. Here you go. I brought you some wet paper towels. I thought they might work better than them dry, hard ones.”

Willa, unable to speak, nodded her thanks and used the wet towels to wipe away her tears.

“I’ll be with you momentarily, Mrs. Thompson,” Principal James said before closing the door to her office. She plopped down at the desk and let out a loud sigh. She couldn’t believe how badly things had turned out or how completely wrong she had been about Willa. It made her stomach turn to know she had mistreated someone solely based on the jealous ranting of some extremely bitter women. Even with the cuts and bruises, Willa was an incredibly beautiful Black woman and it was no wonder some of the other mothers talked about her constantly. It wasn’t hard for Ms. James to imagine that at 5’9″ with caramel skin and hazel, almond shaped eyes, Willa had caught the eye of a few, if not all, of their husbands and the women resented her for it. It explained why they always had something negative to say about her. And Ms. James had indulged them every time. Worse than listening to all the gossip was the fact she had repeated it all word for word to Mrs. Boggs. Idiot, she thought before laying her head on the desk.

“I know what you going through, Willa. Oh, is it okay if I call you that? I heard them say your name. Plus our girls are best friends. I’m Katrina’s mom, Cicely Thompson,” she said, extending her hand. Then she decided against it and gave Willa a hug.

“Oh, okay,” she said, withdrawing from the woman’s embrace. “Jade talks about Katrina all the time and I kept saying we were gonna have to meet so the girls could play together sometimes. I didn’t expect it to be like this but . . .”

“Don’t even worry about that, girl. When God have a plan it work just the way he want it to. We was supposed to meet today. ‘Cause like I was saying, I know what you going through. My ex-husband couldn’t keep his hands to his self either. And Mama thought it was just a part of marriage that would stop if I quit making him mad. And even though she kept telling me I was a fool for trying to leave, I had to get me and my kids up out that mess. So I know. But y’all gone be just fine ‘cause you strong, girl.”

“I hope so because . . . oh, there she is,” Willa said, smiling as her daughter came running down the hall hand in hand with her friend.

“Oh my goodness!” Cicely shrieked. “Can’t nobody say that ain’t your baby, Willa. She look just like you! In a couple of years she gone be the same height and we won’t be able to tell y’all apart!” she laughed. “Woo, honey, you gone have to beat them little boys off with a stick.”

“Yeah, and it looks like the same is true for you,” Willa said, as she looked at the tall, light-skinned beauty with the big, magnetic smile running with her daughter.