Illicit Temptations (Tempted Series Book 1) (42 page)

She was no fool.

I was the fool.

The fool that pushed her away and let her go.

I didn’t just love her I fucking cherished her. That woman owned me my body my soul and my black heart.

I jumped off the top bunk needing to shake her from my head, I positioned myself on the concrete floor and started to do pushups. It didn’t always work it was the one thing I used to distract myself when I started to think of
her
. Sometimes I would feel my arms burn from the vigorous repetition before the ache in my heart dulled or the vision of her gorgeous face faded from my mind. I wondered if I’d ever forget her full mouth or what it felt like kissing her until her lips swelled or those chocolate eyes that looked at me like I was something even though I was nothing. Would I always be haunted by the memory of long brown hair that I’d tangle my fingers through or her body that I had worshipped like it was my temple?

I grunted as the sweat started to bead on my forehead, pushing my body up and then dropping my weight half way off the ground doing it over and over doing everything to make her go away. I ignored the sound of the bars sliding open and pretended like I didn’t hear the C.O. had just stepped foot inside my cell. I prepared myself to block out what would happen next telling myself I didn’t give a fuck that no one came to see my sorry ass anymore or that it didn’t sting when Cheech left our cell because his woman came from Yonkers to see him.

“You too Bianci," the correction officer said, forcing me to pause mid pushup. “Something happen to your hearing when Gomez knocked you out? I said you too now let’s go.”

I rose to my feet slowly turning around to glance at him, Cheech patted me on the back and stepped out of the cell following the other officer into the visiting room. The C.O. raised a single eyebrow as he crossed his arms against his puffed out chest.

“Move it Bianci I don’t have all day.” He said impatiently before mumbling something about losing fifty bucks on a schmuck like me. My wide shoulders brushed passed him through the tight entryway of the cell and I started down the long hallway. I could hear the inmates whisper as I passed their cells wondering just as much as I was who the fuck was here to see me. The C.O. walked me to a door handing me to another officer who would take me to the visitor’s room.

I tried to go through the list of people that were approved to see me trying to figure who I’d have to face, but then again, it didn’t matter knowing whoever was here was probably only here on Victor’s behalf anyway. I cracked my knuckles as the C.O. opened the metal door to the visitor’s room the loud sounds of hundreds of people talking washed over me, forcing me to look around at the mostly
happy reunions of the prisoners with their loved ones.

I froze all the noise faded away as my eyes landed on her. She had her back to me as she sat alone at one of the metal tables. I might not be able to see her face, but I had memorized every single thing about her before I had left and I’d know that backside anywhere. Her hair was a dead giveaway too always so shiny and if I touched it, I know it would feel like silk under my fingertips. I should turn around and deny the visit go back to my pushups and try to forget that Adrianna Pastore existed, but my feet moved towards her betraying my common sense.

The truth was I couldn’t deny myself her never could. I had set my sights on her when were teenagers and I wouldn’t stop until she was mine. The shitty thing about that was after I finally had her I got cocky and arrogant and thought I’d never lose her. I wasn’t fucking around when I said I never did a drug, but still I was a junkie when it came to the woman I was addicted to and I could never deny myself a fix. I rounded the table feeling her eyes on me as I took the seat in front of her trying not to look at her just yet knowing that when I did I’d start to feel that burn in my chest that I seemed to get every time I looked into those eyes of hers. I clenched my fists in my lap so that I wouldn’t reach out and take her face in my hands trace my fingers over every perfect feature on her face and kiss her until they carted me back to my cell. I blew out a breath, lifted my head, and succumbed to my own torture as my eyes met hers.

Those sad eyes held me captive wishing like hell that
I had never left my fucking cell because the brokenhearted girl that sat before me tore my heart to shreds. She was pale and had circles under her eyes that made her look like she hadn’t slept in weeks yet still she looked stunning. Even on a bad day, she could turn the head of any guy she encountered. I could just imagine what the C.O.
’s say when she struts her tight ass through the metal detectors.

“What happened to your eye?” She whispers softly, lifting her hand to touch the bruise under my eye, but drops her hand deciding against it and folds her hands neatly on top of the table.

Thank Christ because I can’t handle her touch not when I’m fucking trapped in a cage.

“What’re you doing here A? Pretty sure told you not to come here no more.” I grind out diverting my eyes to the inmate next to me that’s sharing a laugh with wife and son. I wonder why he’s in the can wonder what choice he stupidly made that took him from his family.

Her eyes filled with water as she shook her head slightly.

“I don’t know what happened to you.” She leaned closer and my eyes instantly dropped to her chest indulging in the tiny bit of cleavage she had on display. Her tits looked twice the size I remembered them to be, and I knew tonight when I was lying in bed trying to forget her I’d jerk off to that little glimpse of heaven she was giving me right now.

“Is someone bothering you here? Do you--- “
      
I lifted my head abruptly, shaking my head slightly as I wondered when she would stop having my back. One look at me with a black eye and she was ready to go to bat call a lawyer or a fucking congressman if she had to switch me to a different jail. She was a good girl, and I was a lucky son of a bitch to have had her in my corner. I hope the next guy knows how fucking lucky he is and treats her like gold. I hope he has the sense to hang on to her doesn’t blow it like I did.

“I don’t need your help Adrianna.” I clip. “So if you would just get to the fucking point and then be on your way.” I look away from her knowing that
I’m hurting her but I don’t have a choice. She has to hate me because I can’t handle her loving me.

“For the life of me, I can’t understand why I don’t hate you. I want to hate I want to hate you so bad, but something inside me doesn’t let me.” She says sounding defeated.

“You should hate me.” I turn my head and lean forward so my cold eyes stare deep into hers. “You should hate me with everything inside of you. You should fucking despise me A.”

“But I don’t.” She whispers her eyes searching hopefully for something as she looks at me.

“I don’t want you coming here anymore; I don’t know how many fucking times I have to tell you. I don’t need you looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you can’t live without me.” I said angrily. “It’s really not fair to you because I live just fine without you every day.”

“Is that why you let people beat on you? You’re doing so well in here that you’re someone else’s punching bag?” She tilted her chin toward my eye. “Yeah, you’re doing amazing in here.”

“Has nothing to do with you.” I lie every fucking thing I do revolves around her, but she doesn’t need to know that she needs to forget me. She needs to let me go.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you.” She says before looking down at her hands. She remains silent for a few moments before she lifts her head and there are tears making their way down her cheeks. It’s agony watching her cry pure fucking torture.

“Look, whatever you came here for doesn’t matter.” I grip the edge of the table. “You need to leave.” I push back my chair and mentally prepare myself to walk away from her again.

“Anthony there is something I have to tell you.” She cries like full fledge crying now. I don’t get up like I planned instead I remain perfectly still as I look at her expectantly.

“Yeah? What’s that?” I say irritated that I’m still there watching her cry.

“I’m pregnant.” She whispers closing her eyes, unable to look me in the eye.

It’s the strangest thing because for a split second I’m elated and it’s like I’ve waited my entire life to hear those words come from her mouth, but then I realize she’s not having my baby and that realization hits me harder than anything ever before it breaks whatever’s left of my heart.

“I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.” She whispers sadly wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “It wasn’t planned.” She says like she’s trying to ease the blow of her carrying another man’s child.

I’ve really lost her.

“Please say something.” She begs as she stares at me.

“What the fuck do you want me to say? Congratulations, but you really didn’t have to drive all the way here to tell me you’re knocked up.” I pushed my chair back for real and stood up. I stared down at her at one point of my life I had probably wondered what A would look like pregnant may have even looked forward to it, but looking at her now had exceeded anything I could’ve ever dreamed. My eyes drifted down to her flat stomach and pictured what she’d look like in a few months she was going to be a great mother. I opened my mouth probably to tell her just that, but I quickly closed it giving her one final look taking her in one last time before I walked away from her again. The difference this time was that it was the last time I’d walk away because I’d never walk back in to get close enough to leave her again.

“Anthony…” She pleaded as I walked passed her headed straight for the metal doors. The C.O. buzzes me into the hallway and I hear the metal doors slide close behind us as we walk the long hallway back towards my cell.

Adrianna’s pregnant. How was I ever going to wrap my head around that?

I step into my cell just as the officer locks me up I turn to him.

“You want to make money? Bet on me.” I say almost feeling sorry for my opponent as I grab the tape and prepare to tape my knuckles. The need to punch something consumes me so does the need to crush someone so he can feel how I do. I know that when I put my gloves on I’m going to be fighting for all the things I let slip through my fingers. My opponent doesn’t stand a chance he’s going to suffer the wrath of me losing the love of my life for good.

Poor Bastard.

The Riverdale Series:

Pieces (Book One)

Blurb

Jake Lanza is one of Riverdale New York’s favorite sons. He owns a tattoo parlor in the small upstate town and prides himself on being a fun-loving, live by the seat of your pants type of guy. He has everything he wants in life, a thriving business, a great family and a best friend with whom he could never live without.

Cara Sloane weaved her way into Jake’s life when they were fifteen years old. After her life fell apart at such a young age, Jake helped her heal, and began to pick up the pieces of her fallen life. His unconventional ways slowly had him becoming the anchor in her life.

Now fourteen years later Jake begins to see Cara in a new light. The things he thought he never wanted, he suddenly began to yearn for. The only problem was they were both too frightened to lose the greatest love either of them has ever known. Can Jake convince Cara there is more for them than just a friendship? Is he willing to take that gamble himself?

Broken Pieces (Book Two)

Blurb

Nick Foti left Riverdale New York, seven years ago, leaving his dreams and the only family he ever knew behind. Most of all he left the one girl that managed to completely unravel him. Samantha Lanza was his best friends little sister. She wasn't meant to be his, she was his to protect like a sister.

When he finally decided he couldn't fight his attraction to her, events unfold that force him to leave her and the only life he has ever wanted behind. Forced to work for his father in Seattle, Nick is miserable. He spends most his time in the boardroom playing the corporate mogul. The rest of the time he loses himself in a bottle and random woman that will never compare to the one he left behind.

One day Nick hits rock bottom and decides he’s had enough, he hangs up his suit and tie and sets out to reclaim the life he was meant to have. He heads back to Riverdale just when the family he has always loved as his own needs him the most. Everyone welcomes Nick with open arms, except Sam. She wants nothing to do with him. Can he convince her he’s a changed man who wants nothing more than to have her in his arms forever? Or has is the betrayal she feels too great to forgive.

Fitting the Pieces (Book Three)

Blurb

You’ve laughed with them. You’ve cried with them. Now it’s time to say goodbye to the Lanza Family, in the final installment of The Riverdale Series.

Luke Lanza is a man who has always done the responsible thing. He has faced a lot of challenging obstacles in his life; from raising his daughter on his own, to building a successful business, even being the only viable donor that could save his brother’s life. Knowing this about his brother and knowing that he was going to die, Jake asked him to look after the love of his life. Now Luke is torn between the promise he made to his brother and the pull of something he’s never known before.

“Promise me, I need to hear you say it, Luke.”

Luke swallowed. “I promise I’ll take care of Cara, you don’t have to worry about her.” A tear slipped down his cheek as he finished his vow to his little brother.

Jake smiled slightly and closed his eyes. “I could always count on you.”

Cara Sloane is struggling with the loss of her first love and the power of addiction. Jake had been her rock for so long, with him gone she realizes how broken she is. She doesn’t want to feel anything, least of all the emptiness in her heart.

“I know you’re at peace and I should be thankful for that, but I can’t be. I never realized what a selfish person I was. You were suffering and all I could do was pray for you not to leave me.”