Illicit (11 page)

The steady beat somehow settled me down again, and when he started humming what sounded like a lullaby, I could've sworn I'd heard it before.

The familiar sound tickled at the edges of my memory, but I couldn’t place it no matter how hard I tried. Anna wasn’t one for lullabies as far as I can remember, but maybe she had been when we lived here before?

I got the feeling sometimes that there was a lot different about my mom in the years before she’d made off with me, that maybe her life hadn’t always been one of moving around from place to place.

But when I’d ask before, she’d shut down, and as the years went by, I stopped asking. Now I wasn’t so sure that I should have.

Now I had more questions than before, but there were no longer the inquisitive questions of a child wanting to piece together her past.

Now I needed to know why I sometimes got this feeling that Thorn was a part of my past, or how it was that he had been in my dreams for years and was now here.

As the days had gone by I had been giving more and more thought to that strange occurrence and coming up with some very outlandish answers. Hopefully the truth was less hair-raising than my imagination.

He kept humming the lullaby and I found myself drifting away, caught up in the sweetly familiar melody as my heart slowed to normal and my mind cleared.

I saw a quick flash of a baby girl running through a filed of flowers with a young boy running after her.

There was laughter and happiness; a joy so strong, I could feel it, but just as quickly as the image came it faded, leaving me empty.

The humming ended and I came back to my senses, still wrapped safely in his arms.

***

It was sometime before I realized that he had once again side stepped my question about him reading my mind; just as he’d done when I asked him about his strange words to my dad that night in the kitchen.

What did he mean I would die without him? And how had he known that I’d decided to ignore him?

It all played into my over active imagination that was telling me that there was more going on here than met the eye, but I had no experience with such things.

The town sure fit the setting though, with its eerie backdrop and constant darkness. Just in the last day or so I’d noticed that the dark cloud that always seemed to be hanging over the place had grown darker and seemed to linger longer.

There was also a chill in the air that no one else seemed to notice except me. Like the day he had taken me for my walk and everyone else were dressed in sweaters while I felt like I needed my parka.

I’d put that down to me being sick, or the fact that maybe the locals had grown accustomed to the temperatures though.

But I couldn’t deny the heavy feeling that seemed to be lingering over our house, especially when Thorn was here. Maybe all old New England towns had a touch of the fey about them.

Whatever the case, I couldn’t deny that there was also a certain feeling of coming home, and after the days spent with him, I realized it was as much about him as it was the town.

Like the two were connected somehow, which made no sense, because Mark had said the Azarovs had only just arrived right before I did.

Maybe I should look up his family name, since he wasn’t very forthcoming about himself. I grew suddenly tired and cuddled into his arms more deeply.

“You need to have your bath now lyubov moya.” I had been about to doze off again, which seemed like all I did these days.

Between the quietness of my new surroundings and the feel of his arms around me, I’ve been sleeping like a baby.

My strength was coming back and I no longer felt like hell, in fact I felt better than I can ever remember feeling in my life.

I was afraid that that was due to his nearness and wondered what would happen when I was no longer sick and we went back to life as usual. The thought was to say the least, depressing.

Dad had taken to dropping in unannounced throughout the day, but each time we’d been on the couch. The last time he’d done it Thorn had growled something at him in Russian and there had been another standoff, before once again, dad had given in.

I really needed to get to the bottom of that, the way he seemed able to control others with a look or a word; first the teacher and now dad.

I let him bundle me up, and head upstairs to my room before he turned and headed for the bathroom. I could hear the water falling into the old claw footed tub that must’ve been here from about the year one.

“I want to take a shower I need to wash my hair.” I yelled this through the door as I undressed and wrapped my robe around me. He came back into the room and just picked me up without saying a word.

He undressed me almost mechanically while I turned red and stiff as a board. I was petrified that he would find my body lacking but he didn’t even seem to be looking.

I’m not sure what was worst, my fear of him rejecting me because of my body, or his seeming indifference. I soon found myself immersed in the warm scented water and he knelt next to the tub with my washcloth in hand.

I would’ve drowned myself from mortification had I not noticed the way he gritted his teeth and tried not to look at my body.

My body reddened farther as he started washing me, and the slight tremble in his hand made me feel like the most desirable woman in the world.

I started to do something sultry with one of my legs like I’d seen in the movies, but he stopped me short.

“Don’t.” He stopped all movement and kept his head down. I was never so giddy in my life as I was in that moment.

This sexy, amazing creature was becoming affected by my nakedness. I wanted to laugh and shout, stand up in the tub and do a butt-shaking dance all at once.

He went back to bathing me and I’m ashamed to say I took dreadful advantage of him, doing everything in my power to get his attention.

I was an unmerciful tease and the slight smile on his cheek told me he knew exactly what I was up to. I bent my leg and ran my fingers teasingly down the inside of my thigh.

My heart was going gangbusters in my chest as I played the vixen. Something I must admit I’d never even contemplated being before, but found great joy in.

“You’re playing with fire Milaya. Now behave yourself and let me finish what I have started before you catch a chill again.”

Where was the fun in that? I didn’t say it out loud, but when he made as if to get up and leave I knew he got the message.

“Okay, okay I’ll stop.” But now that I knew my body had that affect on him, there was no end to the things I would do to torment him in the coming days.

I never stopped to wonder at my sudden boldness, or the feeling of freedom I got by just being near him, or from his reaction to my nakedness.

He made me feel like something other than myself; when I was with him, I forgot that I was nondescript and plain. Instead I felt desirable and beautiful. “You are.”

Two little words that fed my heart like nothing else ever could. It was amazing that just a few short days ago I had decided to have nothing to do with him, now it felt as if I would die without him.

He washed my body like it was made of spun glass, his hands gentle and loving as they moved over me. The fire in his eyes told me that he wasn’t at all indifferent to me like I’d first believed. “I can’t kiss you now Milaya, it’s too dangerous.”

How did he know I was dying to feel his lips on mine? My skin burned and my heart constricted, there was a need inside me that I had no name for.

I moved in the tub and the water swirled around me, even that seemed to have a sensual element to it. I wanted to touch my breasts in the worst way and realized almost surprisingly that my hands had come up on their own and was doing just that.

My eyes felt like liquid heat and that place between my legs hurt. I bit into my lip to keep myself from crying out from the pleasure that coursed through my body like heated lava, leaving me shaky and breathless.

He uttered something harshly in his native tongue under his breath as I stared at his mouth. What was happening to me? It felt like I had no control, I knew only need.

The washcloth was long gone from his hand, now there was nothing between his flesh and mine as he caressed the soapy water into my heated flesh.

Wherever he touched my skin singed and I felt needy. “Please…” I had no idea what I was begging him for; I only knew that he had the answers.

“Fuck.” It was the first time I’d heard him use an expletive and even that sounded hot coming from his lips in that accent of his.

I didn’t have time to dwell on that now though, I had more pressing needs, like the fire between my thighs and the empty feeling in my tummy that felt like I would die if it wasn’t filled.

His fingers found me under the water and I felt the first stirrings of relief. My lips tingled, seconds before he turned my head with a finger under my chin, and he kissed me.

I’m not sure how a kiss is supposed to feel or taste, I do know that no one anywhere had ever been kissed like this. His mouth mastered mine, there’s no other word for it; it was a complete takeover.

I followed his tongue with mine as he teased my mouth. I took the loud growl that he made into my mouth and swallowed as his fingers found that spot, the clit I think I heard it called.

They weren’t lying in biology or family science; I could see where that one little piece of flesh could land me in trouble.

At the moment I didn’t care about anything else but having him touch me there, and then, when his fingers went inside leaving just his thumb on my little nub, I flopped around in the tub and cried out in his mouth.

I left my body for an instant in time. I know I floated over us because I could see myself reclining in the tub with him leaning over me while his hand moved back and forth between my thighs and his lips covered mine.

Outside there was a strange wind blowing, that seemed to beat against the house and there was a sound to it, or that could be more of my fanciful musings, but I could’ve sworn I heard a woman’s wail.

He lifted his head quickly and rested his forehead against mine. I was happy to see that we were both breathing erratically.

I had his hand trapped between my thighs and sought to get more of that wonderful feeling, but he calmed me with soft kisses as he rubbed his fingers back and forth into me, easing that ache that was now even deeper within.

My voice when I begged him to continue wasn’t my own. It sounded hoarse and needy and just a little on the sultry side if I do say so myself.

“Shh, lyubof, you must be calm.” I didn’t want to be calm I wanted him to finish what he started…again, and again and again. I’d never experienced anything like it and didn’t want it to stop.

As his fingers toyed with my secret places I moved my hips beneath the water. There was a sudden explosion in my middle and my mouth went slack and dropped away from his.

My body twitched as the explosion grew and that place between my thighs was on fire.

The scream when it came was earth shattering. The feelings were overwhelming; they were too huge for my little frame.

“Shh I’ve got you lyubov moya, I’ve got you.” He gentled me with his touch until my breathing fought its way back to normal and my body went slack.

He finished cleaning me up before taking me from the tub and drying my listless body. Then he put me to bed where I fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter 12

He left me that night for the first time and I moped around not knowing what to do with myself, until I got on my dad's nerves.

"Jazz don't you think you're getting in too deep with this guy? You two just met and already you're acting like you can't even function without him. I don't think that's such a good thing."

I wonder if he suspected that something more had happened today than the usual. His tone said as much but I couldn’t be sure.

I’ve tried to hide the evidence of my new awakening, though I’m not sure there were any outward signs of the changes my body had gone through.

But I felt them so keenly it was hard to imagine that everyone around me couldn’t see them. Even now, all these hours later, my body still hummed.

It was almost audible the beat that played between my legs and in my heart. The two seemed connected and grew stronger instead of fading as time went on.

"I'm fine dad." I fidgeted and tried to stay still under his watchful eye as he studied me worriedly.

I was no longer worried that he'd try to stop me from seeing Thorn, I was pretty sure that nothing would stop me at this point.

But neither did I want him worrying about me, so I had to get my act together. Digging my nails into my palms I made myself walk over to where he sat on the couch.

"Who's playing dad?" I plopped down in the seat next to him and he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.

"You want to watch the game with me?"

"Yeah sure, so who's playing?" As if I’d even know if he told me. I just needed to get his attention away from me for a bit, until I could safely escape upstairs.

That way he wouldn’t suspect the fact that his little girl had turned into a burning cauldron of lust.

He got all excited and started telling me about the Patriots and the game of football, which made me want to run screaming.

I hate sports, I don't see how anyone could sit around and watch it religiously like my dad did, but if it would distract him I figured what the heck.

I sat there with him, not seeing a thing, though he seemed rather excited to have someone to watch with. When the madness was at an end I escaped to my room, where I brooded, until Thorn called me to say goodnight.

Hearing his voice on the other line made my skin burn and itch in an extremely sensual way, like I wanted to rub myself against the first rough surface I found.

I wondered if all girls or women felt this same feverish heat when they met someone they liked, but there was no one to ask and the Internet hadn’t given me much to go by.

I could ask the source of my own personal inferno, but how embarrassing is that?

The good thing is I think he was just as affected; his voice sounded thicker and a little strained. There was definitely something going on here.

The most compelling evidence was the strong feeling in the pit of my core that something in him was pulling at something in me. I couldn’t put it into words, but I felt it strongly in every part of me.

“Thorn, are we going to be together?” Where the hell had that come from? I had no idea I was going to say those words out loud.

“Always moya malen’kaya. Ya tebya lyublyu ” I have no idea what the words meant, but somewhere deep inside I understood every one.

“Sleep well my love and tomorrow I will be there to get you first thing okay.”

“Are you sure, you’re sure you’re going to be there or are you going to disappear again?” My pulse raced in fear at the mere thought. I don’t think I could survive this time if he did that.

“Never again vozlyublennoy, sweetheart.” He answered my question before it was asked. I repeated the word on a whisper and felt the truth of his words in my heart.

We said our goodnights as the scary wind kicked up outside. I was feeling too good to let even that bother me, as I cuddled into my pillow and lost myself in sleep.

***

Outside in the darkness, a force battered against the windows of the house, trying valiantly to break through the intricate shields of protection that had been placed there.

Anger grew, and with it, a burning jealousy that had no outlet. The loud screech got lost in the wind, as the show of love from a master for one so pitiful and undeserving was so very obvious in the strength of those bonds of protection.

Years of careful plotting and searching had not yielded her whereabouts; there too he had protected her and now it might be too late.

The time was drawing near, unless she can be reached, everything would’ve been in vain and that cannot happen.

With one last peering gaze through the window at the sleeping face, so peaceful in slumber, so innocent, the darkness receded.

Inside all that was heard was the loud wind knocking against the panes of the window, the branches of the trees doing their wild dance in the night.

Another pair of eyes now watched over and covered with warmth as she slept. Knowing that it was almost time to reveal all.

Making sure that the evil was gone for the night at least, this new force turned and headed back with a heavy heart.

It was never easy hurting those you love, and this will most definitely cause pain to one so young.

There were harsh words exchanged in the wind as the two collided with each other. But one will always bend to the will of the other’s strength.

And so it went as it usually does and the young Jasmine slept on not knowing that her life was about to change forever.