Read if hes wicked Online

Authors: Hannah Howell

if hes wicked (37 page)

around the room, but she suspected it was both of them. Since he was now touching her, skin to skin, she real y did not care. They both struggled to outdo

each other in the way they touched, stroked, and kissed each other, but it was final y too much to bear. When Julian turned onto his back and demanded

that she ride him, Chloe was in such a fever she did not even hesitate to try this new way of making love. She tried to go slow but her body was

hammering at her for release. Chloe final y gripped his shoulders, bent down to kiss his mouth, and rode him as hard as she could, slowing down only now

and then to regain her lost rhythm.

When her release began to rol through her body, she suddenly found herself on her back. Julian went up on his knees and lifted her legs up until

they rested flat against his chest, and then he thrust himself home. Chloe had to clamp her hands to her mouth to keep herself from screaming out her

pleasure as he drove them both to the release they had missed for too long.

It was a while before Chloe found the strength to even open her eyes. Her cheek was against his broad warm chest. Her favorite pil ow, she

mused with a smile. His lightly cal oused hand was moving up and down her back in a caress that was more tender and comforting than sensual. Glancing

up at him, she saw the faint, slightly smug smile of satisfaction he wore and decided this was the best time to tel him her news.

“Julian, I am with child,” she said, reverently touching her stil -flat bel y.

“I know.”

She propped herself up on her elbows and frowned at him. “I know? That is al you have to say? And how did you know? Did your mother tel you?”

He turned his head and kissed her on the tip of her nose. “No. She would never intrude that way. In truth, I strongly suspected it the night before we

were attacked by Arthur.”

“Ah, so it is no surprise.”

“I can act surprised.”

She laughed. “Nay. I certainly was surprised, which was foolish.”

“The child you carried was one reason I was so terrified when you fel into Arthur’s hands.”

“And what was the second reason?”

“Because I love you.”

Julian did not know whether to laugh or feel nervous when she just stared at him, her mouth agape and her eyes wide. She looked completely

stunned and he was not sure why she should be. To him it was obvious from the moment he al owed the words to slip into his mind. The only thing he was

not sure of now was whether or not she returned his feelings.

“Nothing to say?” he final y prompted and to his horror, she burst into tears. “Chloe!” He wrapped his arms around her when she clung to him and

cried al over his chest. “Hush, you wil make yourself il , and it is not good for the child for you to get so upset.”

“Not upset,” she said against his chest. “Happy.”

“This is happy? I am sorry, love, but this does not sound happy to me.”

Fighting for some control, Chloe final y grasped a thread of it and held on until it grew strong enough to slow the fal of her tears. Her heart was so

ful it actual y ached. She had never imagined he would just lie there and calmly say the words she had wanted to hear for so very long. Chloe had a wish

to just sit there and savor the feeling of knowing he loved her, but he was starting to look uneasy and she took mercy on him.

“I love you, too,” she whispered against his mouth and found herself the recipient of such a ferocious kiss that she feared they would both return to

making love, and she needed to talk.

“I feared you would never give me those words,” he said and trailed soft kisses over her cheeks.

“You were afraid? And of me never saying I love you?”

“Yes. I was very precise about what I felt we could share in a marriage, and never let you know that I was finding so many other things we shared,

things I needed like the air I breathe.”

“Such as what?”

“This.”

“This? You mean sharing a bed?” When he nodded she frowned. “Not every married couple shares their bed?”

“No, and you wil undoubtedly find that out after you have been in society for a few years. I had always thought that I would not like it, but I cannot

think of why I would ever want to be alone in my bed again. Without you in it, it is unbearably cold and empty. Here is where we can be truly private, share secrets and worries and hurts. No, I never wish to have a bed without you in it.”

“Then praise my ignorance, for if I had known that married couples in society do not usual y share their beds, I would have dutiful y gone off to mine

every night no matter how much I hated to. Then we would never have known how wonderful this is. This and waking up to you in the morning.”

“On that we also agree. I open my eyes and there you are and my day can begin. A smile from you and it begins even better.”

She hugged him. “Careful, or you wil make me cry again.”

“Please, do not. I am only just beginning to dry out.” He laughed when she playful y slapped him. “Ah yes, and then there is laughter.”

“Laughter is easily come by, Julian.”

“Not for me. I found little to laugh about, and when I did there was a sharp biting edge to it. Occasional y, even a meanness of spirit.”

“I cannot imagine the man who would accept three orphaned children in his home, make them part of his family, mean.”

He took her chin in his hand and looked right into her eyes. “It was not mean of me to do that, but it was not al kindness and love at first. I was sunk

in guilt for al that had been done to the people here. Those children were also victims because I al owed Beatrice and Arthur to run free here. It did not take long, however, for me to care for them as if they were my own.”

“They are good children and readily understand that they are being given an excel ent chance to be more than a servant for people like us. Your

guilt, which I have never thought you should be feeling to begin with, may have opened the door, but it was not guilt that made you play with them, try to

make them comfortable, and welcome al their noise now that they are comfortable. That was the goodness in you, the goodness that made me fal in love

with you.”

That flattery required a kiss, which led to another until they were both breathing heavily and sorely tempted to forgo any more conversation or

revelations. Julian combed his fingers through her thick hair as he reminded her, “I was not very good when you found me in that al ey.”

“Nay, you were not. You were a very wicked man. But you were also doing no more than many men do, and, sad to say, that which many men

continue to do even after they are wed. And that is another reason I love you. You believe in marriage, in upholding vows taken. Even when you could not

conceive of sharing a bed or speaking of love, you meant to keep your vows to me and that shows a core of honor most men wish they had and most

women covet.” She smiled when she saw the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks and brushed her fingers over it. “So there
is
a time and place where you are unable to endure flattery.”

“Impudent wench,” he teased. “I can probably abide that a great deal more than I can the kind that says you are rich, fairly handsome, and titled.”

“Oh, you are much more than fairly handsome,” she murmured as she kissed his neck. “You take my breath away, but I would stil love you even if

you spit and scratched your bottom every morning.”

Julian sputtered with laughter. “Spit and scratch my bottom? Do you know someone who does this?” Then he narrowed his eyes. “And I am now

thinking that you better not know what some other man does when he wakes in the morning.”

“I speak of one of my brothers only. And he always did it just to annoy me.”

Julian held her close in his arms and idly smoothed his hand over her stil -flat bel y. “You are wel ?”

“Very wel . I stil must be careful of what I eat in the morning, but nothing else troubles me. I am rather hoping for a girl.”

“Al I want is for both you and the babe to be healthy. But why do you want to have a girl?”

“I was hoping that if I have a girl, you wil al ow me to cal her Laurel, after my sister.”

“That would please me.”

“Thank you. Oh, Julian, I do love you so much, and I was so afraid that I would never hear those words from you. I knew I felt more than a mere

liking when we married, but I decided to settle for what you first offered.” She lightly placed her fingers over his lips when he started to speak. “I do not complain. You offered me far more than many women get. But so many marriages in my family crumble into dust that I was afraid anything less than some

great love would fail, too.”

“Chloe, I think we have a great love.”

“Oh, aye, so do I, and do you know one reason why?”

“Because we have both seen each other at our worst.”

“I have never seen you at anything that even approaches a worst.”

“Nay? Have I not been a whiny little nuisance this last fortnight as I healed from that wound?” she asked, surprised that he did not see how bad a

patient she was.

“Chloe, love, everyone hates to be stuck abed like that and ends up short-tempered.”

“You were not.”

“Oh, I fear I was, but never when you were around. I also had a lot to keep me occupied, and that helps. But I think it might not be wise to try to see

who has the greatest faults, for we could inadvertently hurt each other’s feelings. What does it matter? As you said”—he grinned—“you would love me

even if I spit and scratched my bottom in the morning.”

Chloe laughed. She was a little startled when she caught him watching her laugh yet only smiled himself. “Do I have food in my teeth?”

“No, love. I just like the sound of it.” He kissed the blush that flooded her cheeks. “I used to laugh and be foolish but I lost it somewhere. I had not

realized how much I missed it until you gave it back to me. I do believe the way you could make me smile and laugh, the way you would tease, was what

stirred the seed of love inside me.” He leaned back a little and looked at her warily. “Are you going to cry again?”

“Nay, just a moment’s weakness. That was the loveliest thing that has ever been said to me. I was just trying to think of what you gave me and what

made me start to real y fal in love with you, and it does not sound as lovely as that.”

“Tel me anyway,” he demanded as he rol ed her onto her back and sprawled on top of her.

“You wil laugh.”

“Not at something that you think is serious, not at something you tel me that is straight from the heart.”

“I real y liked the way you could make me feel so wicked,” she whispered against his chest and felt as if her cheeks were on fire from

embarrassment.

Julian tilted her face up to his. “Wicked? You say I made you feel wicked?”

“Al the time. I had assumed because of your year of debauchery you would be a very wicked man, but that was not the way it was at al .”

“Except when I did this?” He kissed the hol ow at the base of her ear.

“Aye,” she said and shivered when he trailed his hands up and down her back. “I suppose it seems a bit foolish to a man like you who has done so

much—”

“And remembers so very little of it. But, love, no man would ever think it is foolish that his wife feels wicked in his arms, and when he kisses her.”

“That is good, because I believe I am feeling a little bit wicked right now.”

“You have chosen the right man to tend to that.”

Chloe squirmed against him, smiling as she felt his ready response. “I know,” she said. “My wicked cavalier,” she whispered.

Julian brushed his lips over hers and whispered, “My laughter, my joy.”

Epilogue

Eight and a half months later

“Why is it taking so long?”

Leo grinned as he watched Julian pace the length of the green salon, Anthony right behind him. “I believe the birth of a child takes a little work and

a little time. Chloe did not real y get started on it until three hours ago.”

“It is a good thing I listened to you.” Julian turned sharply and paced in the opposite direction, Anthony mimicking his move. “If I had given into her

wish to wait a while, we might be trying to explain a seventh-month baby.”

“Little rabbits,” Leo said cheerful y.

Julian paused to stare at him. “You enjoy being proven right entirely too much.”

“How uncivilized of me.”

“Quite right. However, the words are emblazoned upon my mind.”

“Very wise. You would not want to have to add too many more bedrooms.”

Nigel strode into the room. “Baby born yet?”

“No. I am hoping it wil have the courtesy to arrive soon,” replied Julian.

“Ah, good of it. Bened and I have plans to go to the Rectonshires’ stables and see a mare.” Nigel laughed when Julian glared at him. “At least

Chloe is not bringing the roof down with her screaming.”

Julian frowned up at the ceiling. “You are right. It is too quiet. Something must be wrong.” Julian felt his heart clench with fear.

“Nay, Pegeen is with her,” Leo said.

“She is such a skil ed midwife that women make no sound?”

Leo shrugged. “Most of the women in the family insist that she attend them at their births, and very few of them scream or shout out bloodthirsty

threats against their husbands.”

“She did seem to be a capable woman,” Julian murmured.

“Pegeen is a healer. She has the touch. She is especial y good at taking away your pain.”

“The military could use someone like that,” said Nigel as he poured himself a drink.

“And she has helped them on occasion, but treating too many at a time leaves her dangerously weak. However, no one can help a woman with

birthing her child like Pegeen can, and she is kept very busy with our family.”

Julian nodded. “A healer. I can accept that.”

“Stil having trouble with Chloe’s choice of Modred as a godfather? He is a duke.”

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