Read Identical Online

Authors: Ellen Hopkins

Identical

IDENTICAL
Also by Ellen Hopkins

Crank

Impulse

Burned

Glass

Margaret K. McElderry Books

Margaret K. McElderry Books

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division

1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2008 by Ellen Hopkins

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Hopkins, Ellen.

Identical / Ellen Hopkins.—1st ed.

p. cm.

Summary: Sixteen-year-old identical twin daughters of a district-court judge and a candidate for the United States House of Representatives, Kaeleigh and Raeanne Gardella desperately struggle with secrets that have already torn them and their family apart.

eISBN-13: 978-1-4169-8465-8
ISBN-10: 1-4169-8465-8

[1. Novels in verse. 2. Family problems—Fiction. 3. Emotional problems—Fiction. 4. Secrets—Fiction. 5. Sexual abuse victims—Fiction. 6. Twins—Fiction. 7. Sisters—Fiction. 8. California—Fiction.] I. Title.

PZ7.5.H67Ide 2008

[Fic]—dc22

2007032463

Visit us on the World Wide Web:
http://www.SimonSays.com

This book is dedicated to Dianne, Karen, and Tracy, dear friends and special women who rose to shine like stars above dark places in their lives.

With special thanks to Jude, who provided invaluable insight about the psychology of sexual abuse—its victims and victimizers.

Contents

Chapter 1: Raeanne

Mirror, Mirror

Interesting Question

One Soul or Two

But Telling

Chapter 2: Kaeleigh

I Wish I Could Tell

There’s Daddy

Tell on Me

We Live in a Fine Home

But It Really

I Clearly Recall

Mom Always Started

But That Was Before

Afterward

No One Else Suspects

Chapter 3: Raeanne

Kaeleigh Closes Herself Off

But Obsessions Are Personal, I Guess

Numb

Numb Cannot Fight Such Need

I Stop in the Girls’ Room

Mick’s Sexy

Mick and Marijuana

Chapter 4: Kaeleigh

Call Me Powerless

Ian Is My Best Friend

This Huge Part of Me

I Still Haven’t Imploded

Chapter 5: Raeanne

Promises Are Meaningless

Madison Happens to Be

She’ll Scream Loud Enough

She Was Mad, Okay

In Control

I’ve Got to Learn

Chapter 6: Kaeleigh

If Only

I Work Part-Time

Greta Is My Faux Grandma

Once in a While

This Afternoon

One Problem About Caring

Chapter 7: Raeanne

Mick Picked Me Up

Like I Care

My Bedroom Is Dark

It’s Bone-Chilling Here

Woven

The Innocence

What Came Later

Chapter 8: Kaeleigh

Can’t Believe

Drama Is Last Block

Not Sure Why

I Need to Get My License

The More Immediate Problem

Not at All

To Be Fair

Some Girls I Know

Chapter 9: Raeanne

Kind of Funny

Other Men, Anyway

Kaeleigh’s Not into Fishing

No Doubt

Daddy Isn’t Running

Queries Fly

Some Thirtyish Ditz

Castrated

Sound Bites Bitten

Chapter 10: Kaeleigh

Having Mom Home

Actually, I’m Hungry

And Tonight Mom’s Home

Mom Pours a Glass of Wine

We Empty Our Glasses

Out, Where I Should Be

Chapter 11: Raeanne

I Called Mick

There’s a Party

He Slows

Needless to Say

Turns Out

We Wander into the Woods

The Guy Knows How

Chapter 12: Kaeleigh

My Inner Child

Daddy Strokes My Cheek

Not a Creature Is Stirring

The Old Folks’ Home

Memory Strikes Suddenly

I Didn’t Panic Then

Unlike Everyone Else

I Want to Talk

I Go Over to Her

Chapter 13: Raeanne

We All Have Demons

I Guess I Might

With or Without Love

But Kicking Ass

I Just Have to Find It

I’ll Have to Wait to Use It, Though

Doing Lunch

That Was Fun

Chapter 14: Kaeleigh

Everyone’s Laughing

Ian Retaliates

Eventually

Not Exactly

It’s Been a While

But When It Comes

And So, Right Now

It’s Probably Weird

Sweet Stuff

The Answering Machine

My Head Is in the Fridge

The Impossible News

Chapter 15: Raeanne

Rich!

What a Great Thing

What Could the Gossip Be?

Mom Will Want to Know

Wonder If I Should Be Scared

How Far Will I Go

In the Dark

Mom Was Gone Again

Kaeleigh Didn’t Know

That Brought Him Out of His Trance

She Never Tattled

Chapter 16: Kaeleigh

This Morning I Wake

Am I Sick?

Totally Humiliated

Yeah, It Stings

Ugly Flesh

Backpack Stuffed

I Back Up the Hallway

He Caresses

The Jeans Rub My Cut

He Pulls Up

After That

Chapter 17: Raeanne

School Drags Today

I’m Trying to Avoid

I Have No Real Right

As I Move Closer

Maybe That Wasn’t

Once Again

He Announces the Problem

Do Something?

This, Too, Could Go

Unfortunately

Not Sure Where

I Rejoin Mick

Most of the Time

Chapter 18: Kaeleigh

PE Today

Maybe Life Is Random

It Was Greta

She Believes That Too

No Time for a Major Lovefest

Still Feeling It

I’m Almost to Work

No Party Tonight

Looks Like Love

Envy Surges

That Was an Incredibly Bad Scene

Chapter 19: Raeanne

Kaeleigh Takes Herself

But Whatever Created It

Oh, and Guess What

Zero to Sixty

Fun, Ty-Style

This Is Something New

Games, Ty-Style

True to His Word

I Understand

Chapter 20: Kaeleigh

Long Night

Not Sure Exactly When

The Clock Agrees

Do This, Don’t Do That

But He’s Gone Now

Brittany, Finally

Not Being Top

Flat Barely Describes It

His Term or Ian’s?

The Tow Truck Finally Arrives

Chapter 21: Raeanne

Life Is Rarely Dull

Kaeleigh Came Home from School

One of Kaeleigh’s Regular Binges

The Worst Part Is

They Extricate Themselves

Most People

Face Washed, Teeth Brushed

Mom Was Off on a Retreat

Worse,

But Tonight Will Be Perv-Free

Chapter 22: Kaeleigh

Daddy’s Still Asleep

Not Right Now, Though

I Don’t Want to Relive

Then Again, the Sad Fact Is

As Expected

So of Course

We Actually Arrive

I File That Away

Hard Enough

It Just Slipped

Saved by the Bell

I’m Generally Not Big

Chapter 23: Raeanne

Glad I’ve Got History Today

I Swear His Smile

Am I Sick or What?

It’s a Game, That’s All

Cat and Mouse

I Really Do

While I Might Taunt Fate

I Hoof It North

Rough Play, He Means

I Triple Promise

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