I Made You My First (31 page)

I looked
 her in the eyes and started sobbing.  I couldn’t answer her.  I reached in my purse and grabbed my phone, trying to find Mary and Memphis’s number.  I handed it to her and dropped my wet face into my hands covering my eyes. 

The nurse stood up and walked several feet from me. I heard her talking to someone but she was talking so quietly, I couldn’t make out the person on the other end.  After talking to someone on the cell, she sat down next to me.  “Jurnee, I’m going to leave you here for a few minutes and go check on your husband for you, okay?”

I took her hand and shook my head yes.  I couldn’t stop the tears.  As she left, my phone rang.  It was sitting next to me where she’d left it.  I wiped my face and tried to see the caller ID.  After a few seconds I opened the phone.

“Jurnee, this is Mom.  Are you there, dear?”
 

I tried to answer but air was all that would come out.

“Dad and I are on our way, you just sit tight until we get there, okay, Jurnee?”

“Okay,” I answered and closed the phone.  My mind was racing.  I tried to remember the last thing
 Irish said to me and if I’d told him
I love you
.  I threw my scrunched-up face back into my hands and moaned.  My breathing was like giant hiccups between each sob and my eyes were swollen.  I heard the door open and dropped my hands to look.  A doctor walked toward me and I sat up straight, searching his face for any unspoken words he might have about Irish.  I wiped my eyes and looked in his for any hope.

“Mrs. Thompson” and he held out his hand for mine.

I stood.  “Yes, I’m Mrs. Thompson,” as I quickly stepped toward him.  He walked over with me to the sofa and sat down.  All I could think now was that
sit down
news
couldn’t
be good news
.

“Your husband is going to be okay, although we’re going to have to get him into surgery to
 repair a bleeding artery.  He’s lost a great deal of blood, but we can repair the damage and he should be fine.  I’m going to need you to sign some paperwork...”

I cut him off.  “Is he awake?” and I grabbed his arm ready to start begging.

“He’s in and out, so I’d rather you wait until we get him out of surgery and stabilized.” 

“I can’t wait,” and the tears fell.  I stared at him and felt my grip tighten on his arm.  “I have to see him before you take him, please.”
 

He
 put his hand on mine and began to stand.  “Let me see what I can do.  I’ll have a nurse come get you, okay?  Wait right here,” and he left the room.  I took a deep breath and stared at the wall. 
God I want a cigarette right now
, I thought.
  He said that Irish is going to be okay
.  I squeezed my knees, trying to make myself believe what the doctor had just said.  The look of Irish in the car with blood everywhere was the only picture I had swirling in my head.  I tried to replace it with the smile he gave me this morning before he left.  I pictured him brushing his teeth and searching his drawer for socks. 

Just then the door opened.  It was the first nurse who’d brought me in here.  I jumped up
, waiting for her to say she’d take me to see my husband.  Instead, she had some papers on a clipboard, handing it to me for my signature.  “Be patient, dear, I’ll come and get you as soon as they say it’s all right, I promise,” and she smiled at me before she left.

Why can’t I see him now
?  I walked from one side of the little room to the other a dozen times before the door opened.

“Let’s go see him,” the nurse said waving her hand at me.  I reached for my purse and raced to follow her.  We walked through several different rooms until we came to a row of curtains.  “He’s all prepped and ready for surgery so you can only spend a few minutes with him,” and I
 nodded as she turned and left. 

I pushed the curtain open
 just enough to see him.  His eyes were closed but he looked like he was resting.  I stepped up to his face and leaned down to kiss his lips, watching his eyes as they slowly opened and looked at me.  He reached for my hand and I encircled mine around his, squeezing it gently.  “Irish, I love you so very much,” and tears fell, so I dropped my face onto his shoulder trying to hide them.

“I love you too,” he whispered.  I lifted my face and wiped my eyes, smiling at him and kissing his cheek.

“I’ll be right here waiting for you to come out of surgery and then I’ll spend the night in your room.” 

I felt him make a ball with his hand and I squeezed back.

“It’s time to go Mrs. Thompson, your husband has a date in the OR,” and she gave me a sympathetic smile.

I reached down and kissed Irish again as I released his hand.  He gave me a
 smile and mouthed
I love you
. 

I followed the nurse back to the waiting room and thanked her at least twenty times for helping me to see my husband before his surgery.

“I’ll let you know when I hear anything, dear,” and she left me in the little room.  It wasn’t long before Memphis and Mary arrived.  I threw myself at Mary and started crying all over again. She hugged and rocked me back and forth for what seemed like forever.

“He’s going to all right, Jurnee,” and I lifted my head from her
petite framed shoulder.

“Did you talk to the doctors?  Who told you he was going to be all right?” and I
’m sure that I looked confused.

“Dad called when we landed and a nurse told him that
 Irish went in for surgery but he was expected to be just fine.”  She gave me her sweet Irish smile. 

“That guy stealing from the company shot him,
I just know it was him,” I announced with a matter-of-fact attitude and walked over to the sofa and sat down.  Mary followed and sat down beside me.  Memphis sat in the chair across from us and just looked at us and listened.

“Well when Irish gets better, you two will have to decide if you want to stay here or come back home, so you two
 have a lot to think about, dear,” and I looked at her as I felt my mind wander away to her spoken words.

Maybe leaving here would be best. 
That guy could have his friends come after us and maybe we’d never be safe here again
, I thought.  Memphis’s phone chirped, breaking my train of thought.

Looking at Mary now, I asked her, “What do you think we should do?
” and I paused wiping the tears from my eyes. “Can Irish just leave the company here if he wants to?”  I sat and waited, looking into her eyes.

“Of course he can, dear.  He’s finished his work here and if you two want to leave, that’s exactly what you’ll do.”
 

I smiled at her and took a deep breath.  We had a choice.  If Irish said that he wanted to leave, we could move back to La Jolla and that thought made me feel
enormously better.

Before I’d ever realized he was gone, Memphis came back into the room.  Looking at Mary he said, “I’m going to take care of Irish’s car; they’re finished with it. Then I’ll run by the office.  Can I bring you anything while I’m out?”

I smiled and shook my head no.

“Would you bring us something to eat, Dad, and stop and get Irish some of those donuts he likes?  He might just want one later,” she said
, looking at me. 

He reached down and kissed her head and gave me a smile. “I’ll be back in a bit,” and he left the room.  The next hour seemed like ten, but finally the door opened and it was the doctor who’d been here before.  I smiled at him as Mary and I stood to greet him.

He stood in front of us and returned my smile.  “Well, he’s out of surgery and in recovery.  I think he’ll be just fine.  He’s a lucky young man.  The bullet went through without damaging any organs and we’d like to keep him until tomorrow evening just to keep an eye on the bleeding, but he should be able to go home soon after that.  Do you have any questions for me besides when you can see him?” and he smiled, looking directly at me now.

I looked at Mary and she stood smiling at the doctor.  “Can he have a donut if he wants one?” and her face was somewhat serious.  I looked at the ground and smiled.
Always a thoughtful mother,
it crossed my mind. Please let it be that easy for me.

“I don’t see why not,” and I looked up and watched him smile at Mary.  After he left Mary reached out and opened her
arms for a hug.  We stood there several minutes embracing each other and smiling. Things were much better with her here.

A nurse came in and asked, “Family for Irish Thompson?” and we both reached for our things and followed her.  I had goose bumps I was so excited about seeing him.

He was in a private room sitting up at a slight angle reaching for a cup with a straw in it when I finally set eyes on him.  He smiled when he saw us walk in.  I hurried my pace to get the first kiss from him.  Maybe it was selfish, but I didn’t care in that moment.  When I bent over to kiss him, I could smell the anesthetic they used to put him under.  It made my stomach suddenly feel very upset, but I smiled and gave him a peck anyway. 

He reached for my arm and held me so that he could look into my eyes.  “I’m so sorry, Jurnee,” and I felt my face scrunch up and my mouth fall open
in response to his soft spoken words.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Irish, that’s a ridiculous thought,” and I stood straight up breaking from his hold.

“Mom, please come talk some sense into him, I’m going to the ladies room and I’ll be right back.”

She smiled and took my place by Irish’s bed. 

I scurried from the room.  On my way to the restroom, I could feel the nausea building in my stomach and I hurried myself a bit faster, afraid that I might not make it.  Once in a stall my fears of throwing up became a reality. 
I hadn’t eaten enough today to be throwing up this much
, I thought with my head hanging over the toilet.  Maybe it was my body releasing all of the stress from this horrible day.  I rinsed my mouth and splashed some water on my face.  I needed to get back to Irish, but I still felt sick to my stomach. 
Deep breaths, Jurnee
, and I watched myself in the mirror.  On number five I began to feel faint, so I stopped and held onto the sink with both hands.  Looking into my own eyes now, I tried to pull myself together to make myself stop this foolishness. 

Looking in the mirror
at me
suddenly pulled everything that had happened today back up emotionally.  I watched as my eyes began filling with water and a single tear ran down my cheek.  “That’s quite enough, Jurnee,” I said out loud as I turned on the cold water.  “Let’s try this again,” I mumbled and began splashing water on my face.  I slapped my cheeks for some color, put on some lip gloss, and headed back to see Irish. 

As I approached the room I could see Irish’s parents sitting close to his bed,
 casually talking as if nothing had happened.  They couldn’t see me yet, so I stood and watched Irish interact with them sweetly. In that moment, I really missed my parents and a twinge of jealousy ran through me, catching me off guard.

A nurse was now heading for the room so I quickly followed her in. While she checked Irish’s vitals, he sat staring at me, but
 at the same time smiling a smart-alecky grin.  At first it was sweet, maybe even cute but now it was beginning to feel awkward.

“Do you need me to get you something, Irish?” I took the nurse’s place when she turned and left the room.  He reached for my hand and I quickly gave it to him.

“I missed you terribly.  Do you know how beautiful you are, Jurnee?” and I felt myself automatically begin to blush.  Irish’s parents were now staring at me, too, and I looked into his face, trying to avoid looking at them.

“Well someone needs to tell the doctor that your pain medication is working,” and I bent down and kissed his lips.  When I pulled myself back up to look into his eyes, both of his arms encircled my body and pulled me tightly into his.  I held myself up trying to avoid the bandages on his lower stomach, but he was holding me tightly.

“We’re going to go get some coffee and make a few calls.  We’ll see you two in a little while,” I heard Mary say and her voice faded as she left the room.

“Irish, you have to let go...I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt you,” and he slowly released me.  When I looked into his face, he was still smiling.  I walked over to the chair his mom had vacated and his eyes followed me every step of the way. 
This must be Irish drunk
, I thought with a giggle. Talking about anything serious now was probably pointless, so I looked at him and relished the idea that he was really here and all right.  It could’ve ended differently and I was grateful to be sitting here with him in all of his present silliness.

“Are you hungry?” I asked reaching for his hand.

“No, I just want you,” and he slowly raised an eyebrow. 
Sexy and medicated
, I thought.  I had to laugh. There, lying in that hospital bed was the man I loved. He was my world.

“I want you too, baby,” and I tried to take my smile down a notch.  “I guess I don’t have to ask how you feel now, do I?” and I chuckled at him.
His smile remained almost frozen on his face and his hand reached out for mine.