Authors: Natalie Ward

I Love You to Death (3 page)

I looked up at him and felt something catch in my throat. "I don’t know, I don’t really know anyone," I somehow managed to get out.

He walked straight up my steps, stuck his hand out to me and said, "I’m Sam."

I reached out my arm and he took my hand in his soft, warm one. It was bigger than mine and I felt his fingers wrap all the way around, holding my hand completely in his. "Ash," I replied shyly.

"Now you know me, so come on over," he said smiling and still holding onto me as he pulled me up off the step.

I tried to protest but he ignored it, continuing to hold onto me as though he thought I might try and escape. We went into the house and Sam took us straight into the kitchen where he grabbed a couple of beers. He popped the tops off, handed me one and leant back against the counter waiting for me to do the same thing. I took a sip of the beer, tried not to choke on it and stood there staring at the floor and wondering why he was being so nice to me.

"So ah, how did you know Nate?" I finally asked him, after we stood there in silence for what felt like hours, but couldn’t have been more than seconds.

"We went to school together," Sam answered. "He and I both studied computer science."

"Oh so you’re a computer nerd too then?" I responded without really thinking.

Sam laughed. He had a great laugh that was deep and genuine. "I don’t know about nerd, that was pretty much Nate’s game. I battled through and was just glad he was there to help me out all the time."

"Yeah," I smiled. "He used to help me with my math homework in high school. I pretty much pretended to understand what he was talking about most of the time." I confessed, taking a sip of beer as I snuck another look at Sam.

He was looking back at me, watching me with an amused look on his face. "Yeah me too," he answered quietly. We both continued drinking our beers, neither of us saying anything more as we each remembered Nate. Suddenly Sam took one last swig, put the bottle down and stepped towards me. "Wanna get out of here?" he asked, his brown eyes taking on an intensity I hadn’t seen earlier.

"Sure," I said without thinking, quickly finishing my own beer.

I followed Sam out of the house and down the street to his car. He unlocked the door for me and we both slid in. As he turned the key, music came softly from the radio, one of my favourite bands. I recognised it instantly and leant over to turn the volume up without thinking. Sam just smiled at me and pulled out onto the street.

We drove for a while, neither of us saying anything, just enjoying the music and the comfortable silence between us. Eventually when Sam approached the Pell Bridge I asked him, "We’re going to Newport?"

"I don’t know," he said turning to look at me. "I didn’t know if you wanted to stop driving yet?"

I remember being struck then by how easy it was to be with him. How he somehow understood I didn’t want to talk about Nate and what’d happened. That I was happy to just drive along, listening to music. But my stomach betrayed me, so I answered, "Yeah, let’s go into Newport, I’m starving."

He eventually found a parking spot outside a pub. It was a pub I’d been to before, popular but not too busy. The kind of place you could have a drink and a conversation. After we’d sat in a booth and ordered some food and drinks, I decided now would be a good time to work out which team Sam batted for.

"So, are you from around here?" I asked him.

"Nah, I’m from Seattle originally, but school up in Boston," he answered.

"And you still go to school there?" I asked. Nate had been in his second year at BU and I was assuming Sam was too.

"Yep, over half way through, another year then I’m outta there," he answered.

"Where to next then?"

Sam took a sip of his coke, giving me that strangely intense look again. "You know, Nate told me a lot about you," he said, not answering my question.

"What?" I asked, shocked, half spitting some of my drink back into the glass in surprise.

Sam smiled at me. "He told me a lot about you. At first I wondered if you were his girlfriend, but he cleared that up for me pretty quick."

"So you ah, you and Nate were…?" I couldn’t quite get it out, but Sam just laughed and said, "No, no we played on opposite teams."

Bingo
I thought to myself. "So just friends then?" I said out loud to Sam.

"Just friends," he confirmed, smiling as he ran a hand through his blonde hair.

We sat in silence until our food arrived. I didn’t know what Sam was thinking about, but I was suddenly thinking things were definitely looking up. I silently thanked Nate for whatever it was he’d told Sam that had made him come and talk to me.

After our food arrived, I finally got up the nerve to ask him. "So, are you going to tell me what it is that Nate said about me?"

Sam looked up at me and smiled. "Maybe," he answered teasingly.

"Come on, you can’t drop a bomb like that and then not tell me anything," I protested, taking a bite out of my burger.

He laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay," he said, "I’ll tell you."

I waited for him to go on.

"He thought I should come back to Providence with him some time. That he should introduce us and I should take you out. Thought you and I would be a good match for each other," he finally said, his eyes never leaving mine.

I sat there with my burger halfway between my plate and my mouth.
Wow
I thought to myself, Nate really said that? Swallowing, I took a deep breath and asked, "And…..what do you think?"

Smiling Sam looked right at me and said, "I think like always, Nate was right."

And that was it. That was how Sam and I got together.

We spent the rest of the night with each other. After we finished dinner, we played some pool. Sam taught me how to hold the pool cue straight so I could actually hit the ball where I wanted to. I remember being surrounded by him, standing over me in that cheesy way you see in the movies, holding my hands in the right position, his body encircling mine. It felt so good. I felt so good wrapped up in him.

After the pub closed, Sam drove us to the beach and we took a blanket down to the sand and lay there talking and talking until the sun came up. Sam had to go back to Boston that day, but we’d had no sleep, so we went back to my place and crashed for a few hours. Lying on my bed together, Sam wrapped me in his arms and pressed what would be the first of so many kisses against the back of my neck, whispering, "Goodnight Ash," even though it was already morning.

I remember feeling so happy.

A couple of days later, after Sam was back in Boston, an envelope arrived in the post, addressed to me. Inside was a flyer for a show in Boston. A bunch of bands were playing at some theatre that night and one of them was my favourite, the one that had been playing on the radio when I first got in Sam’s car. I smiled, knowing who it was from. There was nothing else inside, but when I turned the flyer over, Sam’s address was written on the back.

I went to Boston that afternoon and never really came back.

∞

Saturday night. I’m home and doing nothing. After work, I thought about going to a movie, but the rain is back and in the end I come home and do what I normally do on a Saturday night. Drink, feel sorry for myself, listen to depressing music and generally try to put off falling asleep so I don’t have to face the same nightmare again.

In other words, a great night in.

But like yesterday, today something different happens. Tonight when I pointlessly check my email, this is there;

I Love You to Death (3 page)

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